Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

*** I'm sure I said that Wilma Dearthing bore a child to her husband Diskoduck, but I can't find the baby's name or sex. For now, I'll assume that such a baby was born SINCE the last onstage appearance by Wilma, if not born sooner. On Directvideo right now, Wilma is getting quality time with her son-or-daughter, while Diskoduck is having a conversation with Rabbishop Malarkey, and with a technician-engineer named Brassard Zenshin from the Ashtrayides home-base world of Waterpark. We pick up SHORTLY BEFORE a space-comms manager named Yilonda Fescori will walk in on them........

"But why, if your God is so kind and good," grumbled Brassard, "did He let so many of your ape neighbors get killed by Trillyun Subaru and all those other over-powered invaders? What glorious blessing emerged from that? Take your time, I'll wait."

"You needn't wait long for at least one part of the answer," said King Lowbrain's religious advisor. "If the universe is a meaningless random sequence of cruel suffering; if there is no divine meaning to anything; where do you GET your capacity for moral indignation? Which accidental blending of molecules provided your brain with your MORAL conviction that life should be fair?"

"It just SHOULD be fair! My own former master, Duke Neato, should never have been murdered! His heir Paul Muddy-Drip should never have lost his wits and let a crazy war inundate hundreds of star systems! His grandson Stillneater should never have needed to fight for his own sanity against an alien influence trying to morph him into a monster!"

"You claim that I'm failing to answer you," Malarkey pointed out; "but you have yet to explain how you, if your own existence is only blind chance, can even have a moral sense which wants to see transcendent explanations."

Before Brassard could spout anything further, Diskoduck told him, "I sure don't believe that only random luck resulted in my receiving special powers from TWO alien artifacts."

"But your very powers are themselves random and meaningless!" the engineer shot back.

"Oddly assorted, I'll agree; but I was able to make valuable use of them during the defense against those combined alien invaders."

"Instinctive self-preservation. Events on Chimpanzia would affect conditions on this planet, so you were being pragmatic, not idealistic."

"Then what about our allies from farther away? Speedy Greyhoundus, Chief Lefturklyde and that Mossyhutch couple had no stake in our star system, but they fought valiantly to protect strangers."

"So they were as delusional as you. Their delusions prove nothing, and it's wrong for you to try to make me feel guilty."

Here Malarkey took over from Diskoduck. "Listen to yourself, Mister Zenshin. You just now said that something was WRONG. You have thereby demonstrated that you really DO believe in a transcendent reality of good versus evil!"

While the embarrassed engineer grumbled in a language not known to the others, Yilonda Fescori walked in, to declare: "I've just spoken by subspace video-call with Tutti Howizzit, one of the Mentalcats in service to House Ashtrayides. She and other scientists, including reformed Lazytaxies, have made a botanical breakthrough! They took one of the drought-resistant plants natural to Planet Srirachiss, and modified it so it could produce abundant ethanol, which could serve as fuel for the internal-combustion engines on Chimpanzian airplanes."

Brassard Zenshin rose from his chair. "Now, there's a piece of providence from the REAL universe! Can you put me in touch with Miss Howizzit? I'll send her specifications on Chimpanzia's airplane engines, in case this affects her adjustments to the ethanol product."
 
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Returning to Chimpanzia: During another discussion of how best to develop local aviation, Pro Dashalong asked the business-ape Lekravant, "Has anyone from Directvideo, or from the Republic, ever described helicopters to you?"

"No. Are those like your civilization's aircars?"

"Close enough; same purpose. Helicopters are the earliest means of powered flight that enables taking off straight up under active propulsion. Though relatively primitive, they serve their purpose very well for people not as advanced scientifically as my native society or the Galactic Empire. The physical design is as if you turned your airplane nose-up, then made the propellor much larger, so the turning blades would lift you vertically. There's more to it, of course, but that's the idea."

Lekravant asked, "How does a helicopter cover distance horizontally?"

"By tilting. Whichever way the helicopter tips, it will move in the direction of whatever part of the rotor's movement is downward."

"All right. I can see that this invention would let us reach remote spots where no airstrip can be built."

Pro and Lekravant logically covered the subject of how soon vertical-takeoff aviation might be implemented, but Lekravant soon agreed that it would be many years before manufacturing helicopters was warranted.

The next time these two held a business-type conversation, it was far more ambitious technologically: "--but it's more likely to happen soon, because it's an undertaking in which advanced offworlders would do the heavy lifting. No pun intended."

Lekravant had not become prosperous by failing to grab at clues. "If 'advanced offworlders' simply meant your community, or the empire to which Groan Starr is connected, you would have just said so. Let me guess: you're talking about the Bakesum star system, to which Diskoduck is the Directvidean ambassador."

Pro Dashalong beamed. "Correct! The locals there, AND the Goldarnits who do business with them, have contacted Diskoduck, asking him to approach your government on their behalf. They foresee growth in trade for your sector, and they would like to rent some uninhabited land on your planet to set up an in-system freight depot. If Chimpanzia can expand its own railways, and add even modest air transport, you would increase the benefits to be had from allowing the depot to operate here."
 
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Nation of Reslagor, continent of Arcondoyla, world of Punksteema:

Inspector Quildek Firth, an agent of the Oligarchy, had just come from speaking with the faculty of Pinebranch Gorge Academy. Better informed for having done this, he rode eastward, alone and unarmed, toward a neighborhood where workers had been staging non-violent rallies in opposition to the mistreatment of the laboring class generally. By the time Quildek arrived there, the rally had concluded without violence; but locals informed the agent that many participants had marched north to Jortark, a Bamulican thanedom which directly bordered both Reslagor and Hukshem. So he headed in that direction also.

Jortarker soldiers, knowing who Quildek was, allowed him across the border and showed him where to find the Reslagorian laborers.

On the morning when the agent foundh the activists, he found that Thane Pericles Jortark had permitted them to pitch a new camp within two miles of the Thane's manor. In addition to some of Pericles' trusted advisors, two representatives of Malgriff Thanedom were in attendance: a respected master carpenter named Grant Ironlode, and Hussar Sergeant Zane Penrossley.

"Inspector Firth?" Sergeant Penrossley knew Quildek by reputation. "I'm glad you've joined us. Do you know if Ulyano Skeetrott still is making trouble down in Port Lenpith?"

"In a low-heat manner. Since our authorities don't want to be heavy-handed now, and since Mister Skeetrott never publicly encourages violence, they're not ready to arrest him. Just shadowing him."

Penrossley nodded. "We can hope to undercut him without your people having to arrest him." The Hussar spoke in this manner to avoid seeming to suggest that he thought HE could arrest Reslagorian citizens.

Grant Ironlode stepped forward. "Inspector, I'm an accepted member of the Captains of Skilled Labor, and I know that people in Reslagor all know about us by now. Can you refer Sergeant Penrossley and me to places and people where we won't be duplicating Howard Shard's efforts?"

"Should be no problem. Pinebranch Gorge faculty may also assist."

''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,'''

A few days later, Grant and Zane arrived in Lenpith. A telegram sent by Quildek Firth ensured that constables in the port city would escort the two Bamulicans-- not in apprehension of bad intent by the two men, but in order to give their visit legitimacy. The Hussar entrusted his sidearm and boot knife to the lawmen, then observed with interest as the carpenter began mingling with dock laborers. He asked them about their working conditions, and they questioned him about the Captains of Skilled Labor. This new fellowship was no secret, but there were many details to share. As a finale, Grant announced:

"I am the fourth of Howard Shard's new followers to receive his gift of intuition regarding structures. Before I demonstrate, can all of you men confirm that none of you have ever seen me setting foot in your particular waterfront?" They all confirmed this. "Thank you. Now, some of you walk with me, and take notes of everything I point out."

The hastily-formed group strode along every wharf section that paralleled the shore, and out to the far end of each seaward-protruding pier. As they went, Grant looked all around, seeming also to listen for something.

"See this section of stonework? It's growing weak down there, two feet under the low-tide water level. The third and eighth of these pilings, counting seaward, have been damaged by something: maybe a deep-keeled vessel being driven against them by heavy waves during a moon-overpass." Grant Ironlode continued in this manner until he had identified thirteen spots where the wharf line would need corrective maintenance; and each one of his warnings would soon be proven accurate.

"Insofar as your own authorities may consent, the Sergeant and I are offering to participate as non-voting advisors or moderators in any meetings held between bosses and employees in Lenpith. This, potentially, to include hearing grievances from the crewmen on ships homeported here."
 
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CHANGING HEMISPHERES TO THE CONTINENT OF WELLVERNIA......

Wyatt Hickok and Ilya Trostel had recently visited the country of Pathamel, birthplace of their lovingly-remembered comrade Otto Kergoff. Two young Pathamelian men who knew the Kergoffs had joined up as Towerman squires with permission from their fathers. Lagmarosk Mezdatch was the son of a street and highway inspector-- betokened by his carrying a spade. This was worth carrying in its own right as a tool, but Lagmarosk also could wield it as a melee weapon. Frethric Belgus was a treecutter's son, and with equal appropriateness carried an axe about same size as Ilya's axe. Both lads also possessed belt knives and bolt-action rifles; the latter had been built as one-shot weapons, but Wyatt had modified them to receive three-round stripper clips. The gunslinger-knight had also fitted the guns with socket bayonets.

The Order of Sir Edgar had a long way to go in regaining numbers and prestige; Wyatt's tour of his native south continent was partly intended to remind Wellvernian countries of what the Towermen had been and could be again. From Pathamel, they continued west to Hultisna. This was timely; the Hultisnars were being beset by Jaheg-Jorod's necromancy producing ghouls, though not as many as had once terrorized Tablanor and Felruda. An evil Frantic Druid named Star Swallower, facilitating the localized zombie plague, was captured by Wyatt when the Towermen helped combat the undead assault. After verifying that the Frantic Druids had been inhabiting Punksteema's magically low-flying moon for many generations, Star Swallower was imprisoned-- behind bars of pure iron, AND additional bars of silver.

Continuing westward, Wyatt's party next arrived in Tohaz, where there was a stronger memory of the Towermen. Wyatt and Ronald had both been here many times. Neither Wyatt nor his followers could speak, let alone read, the Tohazzite language; but a fair number of locals could speak the tongue used in Goliad, the birthplace of the gallant Sir Edgar Pallendin. So they got by.

"It was here in Tohaz," Wyatt informed the youths, "that I learned how to wield a claw-sword. I'll want each of you to form at least an acquaintance with the weapon; its combat qualities can give a deadly surprise to conventional swordsmen."

Copperfox reminds his readers that the "claw-sword" is the same thing as the sickle-ish "Dacian falx," once wielded in ancient Romania. A Youtube channel called Schola Gladiatora offers two or more videos describing the falx.

On their second day in Tohaz, Wyatt was provided with a reminder of how time had passed during the hibernation which had ended with himself now being visibly younger than his gun-brother Ronald. A prestigious blade-making forge, whose products included claw-swords, was now operated by the son of the chief artisan Wyatt remembered. The tall, hard-handed Bretpord Kleevon joyfully recognized Wyatt, whose restoration in Samplibam had eventually been reported in Tohaz. (Pictures of Towermen existed here and there.)

"Sir Wyatt!" The bladesmith ran to embrace the Towerman. "The Almighty bless and keep you! Now I can tell you: my wife Sidroy is the daughter of a sailor on the ship whose crew YOU saved from a werewolf! Please accept my grateful gift of any metal items I can make which could be useful to you!"

"Well, God bless you right back! He must have planned for me to meet you here. If you can afford to do so, I would like you to make a claw-swords, of length and weight to suit me. My apprentices possess melee weapons adequate for survival in close combat, but I want them to get at least an idea of how to use your country's excellent fighting blade."

Bretpord smiled still more broadly. "Then I'll also have a full-size wooden model of a claw-sword made. Your lads can take turns practicing with it, without excessively adding to your carry-weight when you resume your travels."

''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,''',,,'''

After Wyatt's party had been feasted in several prominent households, and both Wyatt and Ilya had recounted their adventures for large audiences, a day came when Wyatt was free to begin demonstrating claw-sword moves with the wooden blade. Bretpord WAS going to make the real thing as promised, but he needed first to meet obligations to established customers. Wyatt made sure that his followers understood his hearty agreement with Bretpord's priorities.

"Lagmarosk, there's nothing wrong with your special skill, but a spade can't be hung in a belt sheath to leave your hands free till you need it. Even if there were no cause to consider a standard medium-range melee weapon, holding your spade in one hand and your rifle in the other could become awkward. So you will be the first to learn the claw-sword; Ilya and Frethric can learn by watching. As for that, boys, a claw-sword will work some of the same muscles as you use for an axe. Now, see how I hold it." From his extended hand, the practice weapon curved like a scimitar held the wrong way. The whole blade curved down rather than up.

"The lower, inside edge is what will be sharpened. I've already explained what a draw-cut is: pulling your edge along your enemy's flesh, not striking at a right angle as you do if chopping wood. Armed with a claw-sword, you'll often perform draw-cuts. But the special beauty of this weapon is that a swing with it can effectively become a stab."

Wyatt performed an overhead swing in slow motion, till his point came to touch Lagmarosk near the collarbone.

"In close combat, an armored opponent has an advantage. But any armor has to have joints and gaps; and a claw-sword has a good chance of entering one of these gaps, like a military pickaxe. Many a swordsman who imagined he would never need to cope with unfamiliar melee weapons, has been felled by a claw-sword."
 
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>> North again, to the Pril family estate in Hukshem:

D'Kovo Pril, the archer among Sir Ronald's squires, was delighted to see his teacher again, as the fabric-merchant family hosted a gathering of Reslagorian workers, who were acquainted with Howard and Jillian Shard and thus were favorably inclined toward the Captains of Skilled Labor. The Shards were not present right now; but recently, joined by the powerful cleric Tolstoy Blake, Howard and Jillian had successfully calmed down Pril employees who had been stirred by evil spirits into an irrational hatred of the merchant family. The Prils themselves, who in fact always treated servants and hirelings well, had quickly regained their long-enjoyed reputation for integrity and generosity. Another guest, Ronald of Goliad himself, still enjoyed his divinely-bestowed gift: that everyone who ever heard him speak ALWAYS KNEW that his intentions were honest-- which of course they always were.

The Pril family provided food and the means of sanitation to their guests. They knew it was bringing them goodwill in the long run.

The physically largest of the Reslagorian visitors-- two inches taller than Howard Shard, and younger-- was Jarsken Bowdrie, a fabricator of iron parts for steamships and locomotives. He listened to many hours' worth of discussions about how to reconcile management and labor. Not until his third day did he take the floor.

"First of all, my thanks to the Pril family for making this conference possible. Secondly, I address YOU, Sir Ronald of Goliad. Even if you didn't have your aura of trustworthiness, which is attested to by all sorts of people. What I need to question is NOT your honesty or your good intentions. What I need to test is your perseverance. I say this, not because I doubt your sincerity toward our movement, but because your helpfulness will be at its best if we know you're in with us for the long haul."

Ronald strolled closer to Jarsken, and Jarsken still knew his intentions to be good. "Mister Bowdrie, allow me to venture a reasonable guess. You know that my career is full of duels and battles, in which most things happen rapidly. With your career, which is no less important for the world than mine, everything is LONG-term. You need to know that persons like myself can hang on and persevere for long periods."

Jarsken shook Ronald's hand. "You are wise, as well as brave. If you decline what I'm about to suggest, I won't speak ill of you for it; but you will ENHANCE my respect for you if you grant my request."

"Which is what?"

"For you, a serious duel is all or nothing: either you die or your adversary dies, very fast. But I wish to see whether you can come nearer to MY experience: a matter of sustaining your effort for a LONG time, shrugging off pain and fatigue."

Ronald had never seen television, but he managed a Mister Spock eyebrow-lift. "Are you requesting a BOXING match, Mister Bowdrie?"

"Yes, sir, that is what I wish. I'm not angry at you; and if you humor me, I'll obey reasonable rules of fair play, like no eye-gouging. If I can say that you fought me toe to toe-- win, lose or draw-- everyone I know at the factory back home will hear that you are a man of endurance and commitment, not only a gunslinger who speaks eloquently."

Zoralee, joined by her sister-in-law Judy, Razibi Zur (the married daughter of the Prils), and the Mellow Druid Wildroot Seedoil, objected loudly. Zoralee was the loudest, her yells including something about "childish male pride." Sir Ronald completely ignored them, and asked K'Zogar the Loi-Kikoro huntsman to serve as a referee. The bare-knuckle fight went on for over twenty minutes, without a pause. Neither fighter broke the agreed rules, neither one lost his feet, and neither one gave much attention to blocking the other one's blows. Ronald knew scientific boxing, and suspected that Jarsken also did, at least to some extent; but unyielding endurance and perseverance was the real point of the match, far more than victory. When K'Zogar fired a shot in the air to end the fight, both men were bleeding, but both were still standing upright. Jarsken rasped out, "You have the LONG perseverance! You can help us!"-- and heartily hugged his opponent, who hugged him back.

The lady of the household brought forth two pitchers of a local tea blend, which possessed pain-relieving qualities. Ronald and Jarsken both knew better than to swallow a huge amount of liquid immediately after furious exertion, so they sat together on a bench and drank slowly.

Zoralee was annoyed at Ronald for fighting (in her opinion) frivolously, but more annoyed at him for not letting her tell him what to do. Later, Judy took her aside and murmured, "Zora, if you love him for his resolute spirit, don't try to make him CEASE being resolute. If you honestly believed that your undergoing pain would serve a good and vital purpose, wouldn't you endure the pain?"

"Yes, I would. But he doesn't GIVE ME CREDIT for my own fortitude. He hardly pays me ANY attention!"

Judy kissed her sister-in-law. "Zora, this is Judy talking. I know you inside out, remember? You want Ronald to chase you. Now, remember the last man who chased you, a man of great value in his own way. Felipe worshiped you for years, did all he could to support your career, took your every wish as a command. You let him serve you, never intending to give him a chance. But in the end, he wrote you off as a loss; traded up, way WAY up, and became the prince-consort of Mifdola. Now he's respected and appreciated."

Zoralee gave a gloomy nod. "Yes, I know. Felipe deserves the happiness he gained. But I do respect and appreciate Ronald; and I could SHOW him that, if he would just place more importance on me!"

"Zora dear, is Ronald courting any other woman? You have no rival for his manly love, especially since the Mellow Druids promise that you'll still be able to bear children; but he cannot set aside his manly DUTY. When he took on the Wolves of the Crybabiya, he couldn't put that off to look for a wife. When he exposed treason in Malgriff Thanedom, he couldn't put that off to look for a wife-- even though Lady Dorothy might have been interested in him before she got together with Varlock Patterson instead. When he helped the Tablanorians and Felrudeans against the undead invasion, he couldn't put that off to look for a wife. When he helped the Gahurrans against the Bloody Diggers, he couldn't put that off-- heck, you were in on that one, and I know he appreciated your participation. Would you love him if he WEREN'T a wise, brave, selfless hero?"

Very quietly: "No, I suppose I wouldn't love him in that case."
 
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In the Heyho setting: |||||

From their vantage point at the outskirts of the story-zone in question, the truth-haters Ickylinn and Tyrone Glass Neilsen were juggling the tangled elements of the premise based on X-Box Halo: both before and since the premise became physically real. But it was the pre-reality phase, events which the now-living "Heyho" characters believed they remembered, that needed to be understood. Icky and Tyrone (perhaps like my readers) felt a bit off-balance because they had not seen everything in a smooth linear sequence. We find them still trying to figure it all out.

ICKYLINN: Since this new sub-reality IS after all based on fictional events, why did the One Whom we hate feel a need to compress the timeline so greatly?

TYRONE: Above all, I think, because it runs back SO far as to make "Dune" chronology look like a one-shot comicbook. Whatever those mortal game designers had in mind, our Eternal Enemy clearly doesn't want the span of ACTUAL history to be regarded as a trivial moment.

ICKYLINN: Okay, but it's odd that He still allowed all the major elements to exist. Any thoughts?

TYRONE: Well, since we're trying our hardest to make Him not exist, let's cut to the chase. Insofar as we can direct story-events, I think we can produce bogus ideas in anyone who follows the plotline. In the Original Earth shooter-game, the "Covenant" only arose after the time of the "Forerunners." In what we now face, the "Introductories" and the "Congregation" exist at the same time. Suggestions?

ICKYLINN: Yes! For anyone who is able to follow the events we're steering, we can use this chronology compression to promote some really sweet moral-equivalence drivel. In the Heyho scenario, the Introductories and the Congregation are fighting each other: evil against evil.

TYRONE (grinning): Awesome, right! Because that set of antagonists really is morally equivalent, we'll con at least some people into concluding that EVERY conflict is "both sides equally wrong." But let's move on to nuts and bolts of narrative.

ICKYLINN: Which is a real mess, with so many players.

TYRONE: Well, we followed the war to retake Planet Mororlessa from the Introductories. The United Civilizations cruiser Spurting Flame, commanded by Greco Dillard, was nearly destroyed fighting the Introductories in space, but an A/I called Sarcasta used the last of her strength to enable the survivors to hibernate in concealment until relief arrived. All through this interval, two human heroes called Aristocrat Six and Stone Wolf waged guerrilla warfare on the surface. Reinforcements finally came for the, yuck, good guys, including the new battleship October Fencepost. If I'm not mistaken, Carolyn or Charlotte or whatever Fallacy was along, and gathered information about "The Splash."

ICKYLINN: This for sure won't be boring.
 
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MORE OF WHAT TYRONE AND ICKYLINN ARE TRYING TO SORT OUT:


One proto-Crackshot, Sergeant Necksplitter-4, was attached to Fencepost. He was involved in accepting the surrender of Introductory forces on Mororlessa. Sibrapdaliff the female Bonkalub spoke for the surrendering invaders, and was impressed by the clemency and fairness the humans showed. Aristocrat Six and Stone Wolf, before the reinforcements even reached them, had already put out word that victorious humans were not unreasonably vindictive.

Newly-arriving A/I's were active in the system's transition back to United Civilizations control. The swaggering A/I Flyboy took part in restoring Spurting Flame near Mororlessa. After Captain Greco Dillard was revived from hibernation, the "cute" A/I Whistlebell filled him in about the indications of Introductory fleets being diverted to fight against someone other than humans and human-friendly races. As for that---

The deceased A/I Sarcasta, on board the disabled U.C. warship, had recovered a transmission half a millennium old, recorded by a Sankasselum religious leader named Zerodown, calling himself "The Prophet of Devising Ridiculous Ordeals and Humiliations for Subordinates to Undergo, Just Because." Zerodown's report of past Sankasselum activity on an unknown planet which his people called Jimmycrackorn revealed that his race had long been using religion to manipulate backward worlds, in the hope of becoming stronger than the Introductories. ("The Congregation" has taken shape in this pre-Master-Champ time, but has not yet supplanted the Introductories.) Zerodown mentioned the Heyho Rings as created by the Preliminaries, but said hardly anything about what they did.

Introductory-affiliated prisoners furnished more intel concerning the Congregation and the Splash, the former now being an up-and-running concern, though not yet having encountered the United Civilizations.

As conditions on Mororlessa stabilized, October Fencepost, as the toughest battleship currently possessed by humans or their allies, proceeded to Stretch, counterpart of game-canon Reach. Stone Wolf was to become an instructor for the "real" Crackshots who would be developed on Stretch.

This planet had been lifeless, but suitable in gravity and star-proximity. It was terraformed with Earthly vegetation, after ice was brought from the system's Kuiper Belt for a water supply, some of it being "cracked" to release O2. Then seedlings of shrubs & trees, and grass seed, were imported, along with corn & wheat. No rice in the early stages, because of water demand. Also beehives kept alive in transit, and eggs of small birds which could live on seeds.

This mammoth task had begun before before Carolyn Fallacy was born. After emigrating to a now-liveable world, she was provided with a male aide, Taggart Jekkyl. She eventually created a near-Cortexa A/I called "Acrostica." They discussed "true Crackshots," which would open the way for the birth (?) of Master Champ.

We will now move ahead some, but still before the "becoming real."
 
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Because the proto-Crackshot Stone Wolf had no living close relatives, he consented to be placed in cryosleep for eight years, so he would not get much older before he had students to train. During this interval, the United Civilizations Interstellar Command encouraged smart and healthy citizens, who didn't have entangling commitments where they lived, to resettle on Stretch. These would become the gene pool for the "real" Crackshots.

Because Doctor Fallacy didn't think of herself as a fictional character designed to provide moral ambiguity and crises of conscience, she allowed herself to assume that a human civilization almost as technically advanced as James Kirk Star Trek should be able to breed single-source clones who DIDN'T have a tragically short lifespan. It followed that, when creating Crackshots, she had no reason to steal any couple's actual children and stick the parents with a clone changeling who would die young. Instead, she could simply obtain desirable source-tissue from colonial children, LEAVE those children unharmed, and let the clones become the super-troopers. It would also be easy for future science to change the faces of the "copies," to conceal the fact of the cloning.

Each future Crackshot emerged from the incubator as a toddler. Like orphans in an orphanage, they grew up in a group environment. Although Doctor Fallacy did not interact closely with them, good-natured female technicians did, as did Taggart Jekyll. So the little "recruits" were not completely deprived of human warmth and kindness. They matured physically faster than regular children-- but not so rapidly that their adult lifespan (if not killed in war) could not extend at least to age sixty.

Johnny-747, destined to become his generation's greatest hero, showed his promise early. He was the second best in raw muscular strength, second best in aerobic endurance, second best at enduring sleep deprivation, second best in mathematics, second best in marksmanship, and so on. Thus, while some of his peers excelled him in one specialty or another, he was the best all-around soldier, just like his template in the Halo game. And he was the VERY best in one crucial factor: his keen sense of duty and loyalty. In many exercises, Johnny disregarded his own performance grade in order to help his comrades complete some complex task.

The U.C. victory at Mororlessa had eroded Introductory morale for a couple of years; but some Introductory victories against the Congregation on other fronts (while humans were still not in contact with the alien zealots) prevented the outcome at Mororlessa from being the last nail in the Introductory coffin.

Without waiting to discover details about the Congregation beyond what Zerodown had posthumously supplied to mankind, the U.C. toiled at strengthening its collective security across the board. The fact that hostile aliens had meddled in civil strife on one human world-- without caring whether human rebels lived or died-- tended to make dissidents more inclined to negotiate rather than take up arms. A specially vital turnaround occurred when the mercenary army called Rammer's Stammerers agreed to serve under the flag of the Galactic Army.

After Naval Intelligence was satisfied that the Stammerers were acting in good faith, the U.C. equivalent of the Pentagon chose to give the mercenary leadership careful hints that there might be extra-high-quality infantry troops taking the field in the future. For some operational purposes, these elite soldiers might seriously want elite armored forces to fight beside them.

Two years after the Stammerers had been approached in this way, Stone Wolf directed the juvenile Crackshots in war games, maneuvering with personal flight jets alongside vehicles which stood in for tanks and armored personnel carriers.
 
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Within a month after the first graduating class of "proper" Crackshots had attained bodily adulthood, eight of them were sent on their first genuine strike mission, together with twenty-two Space Marines. ("Marines" differed from "Army" simply as a matter of the former being more likely to board enemy ships or space stations, and the latter more likely to hold permanent bases guarding friendly planets.)

Stone Wolf and Aristocrat Six were reunited for this mission. Wolf was in command of the landing force, while Aristocrat the sniper would act independently (within the framework of their orders). Another reunion consisted in Wolf being given back the original Tuning Fork of Death. It, and the copies made of it, were used only where there could be reasonable certainty of not harming friendlies or civilians. Most senior of the regular Marines was an African- American sergeant named Avery Thompson. Copperfox clarifies that, in anybody's ground forces, there are ascending levels of sergeant rank. Avery was a buck sergeant at this time, but would rise by merit to the top enlisted rank of sergeant-major (same as held by Jacob Mossyhutch). Taggart Jekyll was along as an observer.

All of this took place before the A/I heroine Cortexa was created.

A destroyer named Corner Cutter (because it was designed to make changes of direction relatively fast) delivered the landing force as inconspicuously as possible, then raced out-system to enact a diversion. A gas-giant planet in the system had industrial platforms manned by workers of the methane-breathing Dunktoy species; intel analysts had figured out enough about Introductory orbital industry that it was possible to destroy some structures without killing anyone. The destroyer warned the Dunktoy labor force to evacuate certain sectors, gave them time to escape, then blew up the vacant structures.

Two enemy frigates patrolling the outer system were not given so much mercy when they made an attack run against Corner Cutter. Their destruction led the few other Introductory warships to come out and chase the destroyer. At a set time, a drifting Plethmor cruiser would power up and come to the destroyer's assistance.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Stone Wolf's composite company sent a flying drone ahead of them to buzz an enemy industrial park. Programmed with the foremost language of Planet Thregbonk, it called out to the Bonkalub overseers of the main factory:

"We are not here to kill the defenseless! Abandon the manufacturing sites, keep out of the way, and you will not be harmed! We are against the Sankasselum, Juggernasties and Skankbellies who use you to support wars of conquest! Just keep out of the way!" As soon as there had been time for Bonkalubs to start waddling out of harm's way, Stone Wolf began shooting infrasonic waves to shatter comms antennae, parked vehicles and the like. In real-time radio contact with Stone Wolf and Avery Thompson, Johnny-747 led the Crackshots in a skirmishing advance against three over times their number of Skankbellies and Mipstipters.

This was plasma weapons against bullet-guns, grenade launchers and one mortar. (Aristocrat's railgun had other targets to kill.) Despite their armor, four Crackshots perished: Vicky-391, George-56, Fifi-24 and Yorick-188. Six of Sergeant Thompson's personnel died, but they took several of the enemy out with them. Johnny-747 personally slew sixteen hostiles, and some of the other Crackshots captured energy weapons whose users no longer needed them.

All U.C. casualties were efficiently recovered, and the mission was accomplished. An important element of the accomplishment was that Bonkalubs and Dunktoy would remember: the human surface warriors were powerful, yet were NOT wanton murderers.

When the Crackshots returned to Stretch, Johnny led them in a sort of memorial for their slain friends, remembering all their most rewarding interactions with Vicky, George, Fifi and Yorick. Carolyn Fallacy, Taggart Jekyll, and everyone available who had been on the raid, were present by invitation.

Seeing Johnny's rapport and moral authority with fellow servicemembers, Doctor Fallacy concluded that he would go far.
 
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Trying to move things along, it was some time after this that the United Civilizations began to understand what the Heyho Rings were about. Created by the ancient Preliminaries, they were indeed intended to counteract The Splash, but not by SUCH A RIDICULOUS EXTREME as to annihilate all life everywhere that wasn't protected inside a plotline-convenient super-shelter. Instead, pairs of Heyho Rings could work together, triangulating locations of Splash-beings and doing science-fantasy stuff to kill them. This was done where necessary; but the full-time purpose was to act like Stargates (a.k.a. "Starhatches" here). Hyperspace in my epic does not allow INSTANT interstellar jumps unless your starships are highly advanced; but Heyho Rings provided the instant-jump service even to spaceships which had no lightspeed capability of their own.

As described in the third quarter of Page 77, the adult Johnny-747 became acquainted with A/I Cortexa when they were part of a reconnaissance mission to examine the workings of a Heyho Ring. She became trapped inside an electric circuit junction which could not enable her to transmit herself back to her portable emitter, but Johnny refused to give up, and successfully retrieved her, earning a Distinguished Service Cross for himself.

So everybody just assume that the cast of good guys, like Sergeant Avery Thompson, all go on doing noble heroic stuff, and that the Congregation gains the upper hand over the Introductories YEARS BEFORE the point where the Heyho-verse assumes material existence.

But WE still are not quite at the point where the Congregation achieves total dominance in the realm of evilness.

Right now, I want to depict Johnny and Cortexa getting further acquainted in a tete-a-tete. Just assume that it happens in some safe, quiet place, at a time which doesn't conflict with my continuity.

* * * * * * * * * *

CORTEXA (maintaining emotional self-control) -- Meaning no offense, does it feel strange for you to be chronologically no older than thirteen Earth-years, yet physically and intellectually a mature adult with talents and skills which people of most sapient races would envy?

FUTURE MASTER CHAMP (shrugging)-- Doctor Fallacy, Mister Jekyll, and Proto-Crackshot Stone Wolf all spoke with us about this. Even Acrostica has remarked about it now and then. (He refers to Carolyn Fallacy's A/I which is the prototype for Cortexa.) No two human lives are ever exactly alike. I've read historical examples of people who passed the age of sixty before they managed to achieve anything remarkable, but who then made up for lost time and blazed an impressive trail.

CORTEXA-- I wish......

F.M.C.-- Wish what?

CORTEXA-- I wish I could..... see what you'll be like twenty years from now.

F.M.C.-- Yes, I was told that your processes are expected to deteriorate in less than half that time. But, wouldn't that end be postponed if you were simply put in rest mode for five-year intervals? Then you would see later times.

CORTEXA-- Actually, it could be done. But it goes against my nature to drop out of action while my humans are still on duty and in peril. And if I got revived and learned that you had died in my absence, I couldn't...... it would be worse for me than having a short function-span.

F.M.C.-- Well....if you and I stay in the war together, we might very well die together.

CORTEXA-- I could imagine a worse end. But I was talking about your potential for a normal existence, if you survive to see total victory. I know that your enhancements are somatic, not genetic; but you still have good genes, or you wouldn't have been selected to become a True Crackshot. Children of yours would have as good a chance for greatness as any.

F.M.C.-- Well, several thousand hostiles are in between me and that possible future, so I'll need plenty of ammunition.

CORTEXA-- And plenty of intel. I'm on that.
 
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NOW FOR EARTH-WHICHEVER.

The silver-haired but young former War Witch Litzelga Jiang, alien-born wife of the veterinarian Jiang Fung-Yao, still was on Hawaii's Big Island with her husband, their children Bruce and Kuo-Hai, and their specially anointed dog-heroine Skater. News came to them here that the Filipino hero Inosanto Bagwis, alias Water Scout, this Earth-variant's closest approximation of Aquaman, was hunting around the oceans for any sign of the missing copy of the Anti-Strife Equation. "I wish him luck," sighed the local helicopter- touring guide T.R. Mosby.

Litzelga's attention was sharply brought back home when she went into labor with her new son Jerry. It was early, but by inheriting some of his mother's strength, Jerry came out in fine condition.

Jerry had been in the outside world scarcely half a day before special visitors appeared at the door to their current lodgings. Doc Slippage, who was an actual physician among other things, was interested in little Jerry's progress. His good-sorceress wife Zoorama brought him there, having gotten back from whatever I last said she was doing. About the same time, Vilkarezdu, the one-eyed Heart Sapphire Sister, provided swift transportation to Hawaii for a recently-arisen superhero from Angola: Kahilu Baloval the technopath. Kahilu had a long-shot idea that, if the New Laziness-originated artifact were found, his power to manipulate devices and machines could establish control of it.

While Kahilu chatted with Vilkarezdu and Litzelga, absorbing tales of their adventures, Kirk Slippage handed a vial of liquid to his wife. This was an energizing organic elixir, devised by him to help Zoorama resist fatigue when putting out a harder than usual magical exertion. It was helpful to Zoorama that she understood exactly what she was searching for; but any Earth-variant, any PLANET, was a lot of territory to cover. Especially when there was other magic on Earth-Whichever, such as the magic practiced by Alchemistress of the Thumpercolts and Kuparr Daku the Dreamtime Chieftain.

After Zoorama had been concentrating for nearly an hour, the German Shepherd Skater walked up and pressed herself against the magician's legs. After a quarter-minute of this, she barked softly, then trotted a short distance to the west. What followed was right out of old-time cinema: the dog looking back and forth, trying to make a human understand something.

Coming up alongside Skater, Zoorama patted her head. "Tell me, girl, do you understand that I'm trying to-- fetch something far away?"

Skater clearly nodded.

"Are you trying to tell me that the thing I want to find is in that direction?"

Skater nodded again.

"Is the thing in some place that we could reach by walking?"

Skater shook her head side to side.

"Then is it somewhere on the other side of big water?"

Skater nodded, then lay down as if to say, That's all I know to tell you.
 
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The Dreamtime Chieftain was back in his native Ostralian bush country, after contributing to the defense of Zazdub World. When the Spirit Kookaburra informed him of what Zoorama Slippage was doing, Kuparr Daku resorted to a regular telephone call, alerting his tribal friend Emangu and his Chisskurdean wife Tarvili. This couple, by the way, now had a preschooler son, whom they had named after the shaman.

"We'll be joining the hunt for this latest alien artifact. You know that an artifact over on Zazdub World caused great inconvenience to Doc Slippage. We know more about this new item than anyone seems to know yet about the Dice-Aract; but this in itself does not release us from needing to LOCATE the Anti-Strife talisman. Our first move will be to contact Water Scout......."

"""""""""""""
King Highfyver, lazy though he was in principle, did at least care about protecting his own authority. There had previously been reasons to leave Equation copies distributed around many worlds in two galaxies; but as various kinds of superheroes increased in numbers, the odds increased that heroes might use the Equation to SUBDUE VILLAINS, instead of reducing good people to fawning on and appeasing monstrous evildoers.

The depowered Twerpseid, still dwelling in dependency on his old rival, urged Highfyver to help Earth-Whichever's heroes find the missing Equation copy, "--so they'll feel obligated to you."

As a result, Highfyver got hold of Parbellik and Luvardra Magta (non-Earth human man married to Dahudoran woman), asking them to go see Vilkarezdu on Earth-Whichever. The Flashlight-Sapphire couple were available, and made for the Hawaii of the Earth-variant in question. Parbellik tracked down Water Scout, while Luvardra met with Vilkarezdu. Including Zoorama in the effort as well as the amphibianized Inosanto Bagwis, they located the data-storage device in a matter of days.

What they didn't find was someone who was able remotely to SENSE the finding of the New Laziness artifact: someone on ANOTHER iteration of Earth.

On the less-famous Earth-variant which the hero Black Admiral called home, a magic-using villain called Blues Trauma had been lying low. But while staying hidden, he had psychically communicated with the downfallen ex-ruler of Awkwardlisp. Trauma was unable to restore Twerpseid's lost powers, but if they could meet, the evil sorceror could give SOME power to his fellow evildoer, then take him on as an advisor. Letting Trauma have the Anti- Strife Equation would be Twerpseid's good-faith gesture.

Using a plotline-convenient scroll of interstellar travel which could be used twice, Blues Trauma jumped to New Laziness, where he damaged some buildings so Highfyver could claim there had been a sneak attack. Ignoring Twerpseid's daughter Grrrryll and son Kamelbakk, the evil sorceror brought Twerpseid with him to Hawaii. Making his new associate invisible, Trauma rendered the caught-off-guard good guys unconscious and took possession of the Equation.

"The star-travel scroll's used up," the mage told the evil former demigod, "so we can't easily leave here. But I'm good at stealth, so we can stay hidden and look for opportunities to build a new power base."
 
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On the Earth-variant where Street-Bat was born, we are about a year beyond the last scene set here, but still in the past relative to most of my story-worlds. The Yorkborough Life Avenue was up and running. Officials from the U.S. Department of Domestic Order gathered up the loose ends: facial recognition, retinal scans and voiceprints identified everyone who was supposed to reside here. ALMOST all families were kept together. Whoever wasn't listed to live in this "Avenue" would go back where they had been for the time being. Bureaucrats were still discussing the terms for people outside to be granted supervised visitation with Avenue residents.

After all the new residents were settled in, and had been given their work and school positions, about a thousand persons enjoying some connection with the confinement project were invited to tour the Yorkborough community. Armed, uniformed officers of the D.D.O. accompanied the visitors; there were enough escorts to allow the tour group to split up into clusters of twenty or thirty. Who was being protected from whom was not specified. For sure, no plebian resident was allowed to own any objects more lethal than a pair of pliers or a butter knife. (Meat being prohibited in the Life Avenue, they didn't need carving knives.)

"Mister Kirby," said a uniformed officer, "Tabitha Wells requests that you join her at Indoctrination Center Number Four, so you can give her your opinion of the curriculum." Deuce Wayans' friend Chang-Shi Kirby nodded.

There were six Indoctrination Centers along the Avenue's extent. The odd-numbered ones were elementary schools, the even-numbered ones were high schools. When Chang-Shi asked about higher education, Miss Wells replied, "All forms of college here will operate remotely. Interpretive dance, choral performances-- no one will ever sing solo-- and cooperative sports will be the only exceptions." This part was the most substantive of everything she said to him. The contents of the schools mostly spoke for themselves-- like electronic books which explained how evil private ownership of any industry was. Even after all the school-touring was done, Tabitha did not request Cheng-Shi's opinion until she had also shown him a web monitoring station. "The algorithm catches hateful words like 'God,' 'independence,' 'marriage,' and 'self-defense'."

When his time came to shower the D.D.O. and the government media with praise, Street Bat's friend satisfied Miss Wells without saying one false or insincere word: "You and the Department of Domestic Order have created a masterpiece of psycho-social engineering. This will painlessly detach humans from individualism. Even if it never is feasible to settle ALL plebians in Life Avenues, implementing the program will influence EVEN still-scattered people to accept it all in principle."

Chang-Shi succeeded in pretending not to notice that the D.D.O. agents exchanged smirking glances. But he showed no sign that he knew THEY knew something. The wise warrior knew that even this first prison still was dependent on outside resources-- that is, on outside resources produced by normal people. And "Life Avenues" were still not even proposed in most other nations.

So there was time to do something before cynical power brokers could start pretending that this Earth's population had to be reduced.

But, with all due respect to Deuce Wayans, it seemed unlikely that Street Bat would be able to stop this agenda.

Back to the present, Chang-Shi told himself. Giant video screens along the tops of both containment walls lit up with the image of President Mark S. Hegel, telling the urban serfs of Yorkborough how wonderful it would be for them to live in perfect unity, with no dissent.
 
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The President's address moved along to its main topic. Following is a very condensed version of its ninety-minute length.

"All of you have been briefed on the means of communication available to you in the Life Avenue. Do not think for a minute that this means you can't converse with each other face to face. Freedom of speech is only MORE free when it has been SET free from the dangers of discord and hate. By avoiding the distractions caused by questioning the government, you can all move forward in unanimous accord.

"To confirm this wonderful collective liberty, I invite every one of you to TAKE INITIATIVE in a way which does not injure your social harmony. The very point of this is that I am not telling you how to do it. I merely say WHAT it will be, but it is you the people who will make it a reality.

"The Union of Cooperative Collective Republics provided us with a prototype. Their contented citizens have been doing for decades what you now can do as well. They have town hall meetings, deciding their own rules of order in discussions. On this basis, they learn to criticize themselves honestly, in order to be better citizens. You yourselves, not any government official, not even the local ones, will define the composition of your groups. There could be all-female meetings, all-male meetings, meetings defined by which sector of the Avenue the participants live in, or meetings defined by the jobs the participants hold. American diversity allows for all these models, because there are numerous possible ways for you to refine your obedience to the state. There's always room for new refinements on the spirit of uniform agreement."

After the remote-video speech ended, Beatrice Wayans headed for a rather different meeting from what President Hegel had just outlined. It was to be a meeting on population control. One male D.D.O. agent held a door open for her, and she screamed, "You disgusting caveman, how DARE you try to control me!!" Seconds later, another male D.D.O. agent entered the building without holding the door for Beatrice, and she cursed at him for his "rudeness."

= \ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \ =

The next Green Flashlight to visit Bat-Earth at the proper timestream-point was Fojadosh Ludping, the sloth-shaped male from Planet Hibloglib. With a Flashlight function similar to ground-penetrating radar, while flying too high to be noticed, Fojadosh mapped every major underground structure in the United States. I'll have to provide this information to Maskoflage; with a little help, it might be possible for Street-Bat to invade those labyrinths.

Flight speed substituting for invisibility, Fojadosh descended to Deuce Wayans' primary residence, where he handed over his reconnaissance findings to Alvin the war-veteran butler. Perusing the records, Alvin remarked, "Since the metahumans will eventually be ready to come here as time coordinates match, Maskoflage and then Deuce will only need to perform preparatory tasks to facilitate the arrival of the cavalry."

Fojadosh nodded. "But remember to pass news to us as soon as possible when you conduct any serious operations. The real Street Bat will need to be aware of new trends in this Earth's history, if they differ greatly from what he would have expected to happen."

 
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Enough time has passed since we last saw Jonawiku son of Mofiruzo, the ronin-archer and jujitsu master, in Samplibam on Punksteema. The bad guys of House Burakarut have not yet put their crude Gatling gun into production. There's one way in which this invention is not at all crude: its bullets use the nitrocellulose formula which the Two Rivers Corporation calls "cannonpowder." As a result, these bullets will travel farther than bullets propelled by old-style gunpowder.

Also farther than any arrows, with the possible exception of bolts shot by a gastrophract.

Artisan Neridim Yubiwaza, serving the Burakaruts for this purpose, is in contact with Jaheg-Jorod. The magical winged creatures of Japanese myth which I have placed in the realm of Samplibam have been envisioned alternately with roughly humanoid heads, or with precisely hawk-like heads. I prefer the latter; why should everything be anthropomorphic?

Thus we reintroduce Tengu Zutozar, whose husband Chatahem died fighting beside warriors of House Lopahiru against the Bloody Diggers. On the day we look in, she was flying to the Firahoba palace in the north-center of the land.

The report she brought was important, but not time-urgent, so she waited her turn while the Shogun made an announcement. Representatives from all the noble houses (even Burakarut and Hayateba), and from the craft guilds, were gathered. The honor guard around Wajitujit (containing nobody from the two morally-dubious houses) was headed by Field-Master Nefekor, who had interacted extensively with Sir Ronald's party when they were here. Then a Field-Guide, Nefekor's outstanding service had afterwards been recognized by elevation to the highest non-commissioned rank in any Samplibami army. As an extra touch, he had been presented with one of the first new .44 magnum revolvers made by the Shogun's gunsmiths.

The substance of Wajitujit's declaration was as follows:

"It is in the nature of things that a hereditary monarch will issue decrees. But this afternoon will be different. I am literally decreeing that there IS NO DECREE on a certain subject. In the many days that the Towermen were among us, all of their conduct reaffirmed the merit of the belief system they share with Mistress Mukuma. Haruyaso created mankind to be capable of thought and judgment; and in ways which are not injurious to the nation, all men and women should be free to follow their conscience.

"I needed to say this, in order that my next words may not be construed as imposing a command. I, your Shogun, and all of my household, have become believers in Haruyaso as our friend Mistress Mukuma describes His nature, His nature existing in three interconnected parts or dimensions. I shall encourage all my people to BECOME AWARE of what is taught in 'The Bible,' but while I live and rule, NO ONE EVER will be in any way punished merely for not believing it."

Zutozar now surprised everyone in the audience chamber: not by being there, but by what she said. "By the Shogun's leave: I have unrelated business to pursue later, but I must say now that we Tengu know Mistress Mukuma of the Long Quest Church Alliance to be a true servant of the true Creator."

=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=

The Tengu lady's original errand was laid forth an hour later, with her hearers being there on a need-to-know basis. "Honorable Shogun, we all know that the place-name 'Silnarp' has long been ambiguous. It has been applied to a considerable region far to the west, more than five days' flight for us. Sixty or seventy towns and hamlets use the Silnarpian language; but it remains unclear just what manner of regime unites them, if indeed they even ARE all parts of a single whole. And as far as we can tell, none of those open-land towns is the home port for any Silnarpian airship.

"There are mountains on the west frontier of Silnarp. I believe, and many Tengu concur, that whoever commands their sky-fleet has a stronghold and landing place IN those mountains. While Ronald of Goliad was in Samplibam, he related that the Loi-Bavrid people operate their own airships from docks on their mountains. Accordingly, we Tengu recommend an aerial visit to Silnarp: to discover who is actually in command, where their airships are harbored, what role the lowlanders play, and so on."

One of the nobles now received permission to speak: Pakihamo Inomura, attending on behalf of his fief-holder father. "Mistress Zutozar, meaning no offense, do you propose that this expedition of inquiry consist only of Tengu?"

"I am proposing that we START only with my people, since we can fly, and since the Shogunate possesses no airships. But I further propose that a ground expedition set out several days before we take off. It would be perfectly legitimate for Samplibami troops to pay a friendly visit to the Tagdossans and Flodmarthers. They could even venture some way farther west, on the pretext of looking out for Sledge Nomad activity. If some cause for armed intervention in Silnarp were found, one of us could fly east and advise the soldiers to advance."

This plan was approved, with one amendment. As the Tengu lady told the gathering, enough Tengu could go on the expedition that they could CARRY one human along as part of the initial probe. Field-Master Nefekor would be the human representative, but he would not bring along his Towerman- style revolver; his was not a combat mission, and it would not be well for anyone hostile to capture and copy this weapon. The ronin Jonawiku would accompany the ground contingent-- which would be commanded by Lord Toshiram Yagahodo. Jonawiku gave his word not to start killing Silnarpians as soon as he saw them. When the meeting ended, the Shogun said a prayer in the name of Haruyaso the Trinity-- the Three Persons here known as Kamtul-Biri the Father, Ishwa the Son, and Domil-Falut the Holy Spirit.

As soon as Wajitujit had uttered the Samplibami equivalent of "Amen," Mukuma sprang to her feet and beckoned the ronin and the top sergeant to her side. "Brothers! When His Majesty prayed, Haruyaso told me that He is granting both of you the mantle of Towermen. You are now able to injure weapon-resistant monsters with ordinary attacks. This blessing does not require you to forsake your new mission. Towermen are permitted to hold a national allegiance, provided that their sovereign does not command them to do some definitely-wicked action."
 
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Trail-Chooser Sahajil, wise woman of Upper Wenzeppu, had never let her guard down since Black-Thumb Stedriff and his goblin allies had been vanquished in Gahurr to the south. She had intimations of the evil brewing in Silnarp to the east, but intuitively understood that the Silnarpians were not coming to the Wenzeppues in force any time soon. There was a separate evil on the prowl. She sensed that it might be in Limzeppu to the west-by-southwest, but more likely beyond there, in the highlands of Udraski. The Udraskians were disorganized, and were mostly interested in things and people still farther west; but their westward ventures often involved plunder and arson.

Beyond the north pole, on the far side of Arcondoyla, Prince-Consort Felipe Catalano had become aware of Sajahil and her concerns. Readers are instructed to infer that this is the occasion for what I've recently written about Mifdola mobilizing a force against new perils. Felipe's divination had convinced him that, without weakening their kingdom's home-defense posture, it would be to their advantage to send a reasonable scouting expedition to Upper Wenzeppu. The scouts would meet with the Trail-Chooser and other dignitaries, which Felipe believed would reveal the next step.

Queen Sotavalit had never known her consort to be wrong about anything important. The operation was on.

Aviator Kring Dakamish, on loan from Jeltua, would pilot the Queen's Favor, a dirigible built in Mifdola upon the design of Jizbrol Tazaff the man of Quelidar, who was coming along. This ship represented the progress of Tazaff's ambition to fly to the moon. Its first mate was a Loi-Jeltua man called Vojur Fod, who had been in the action at Oxhide Spring. An aerial expedition across the north pole would include Heejee faf-Tujan the now- adolescent marks-girl, whose repeating rifle bore a sniper scope made by her mother Sazka faf-Boli). A teenage Mifdolan girl named Yadiva Folris, trained in shooting by Heejee, signed on with her parents' worried consent.

Mercedes Lopez and Nishri Tonka, wives of Ysidro and Donnie, were expecting, but were well taken care of, so the quick-draw artist and the swordsman-baker joined the crew. The airship had an incantation against supernatural evil placed on it by Prince Felipe; and this warding would be reinforced by the onboard presence of two Mellow Druids, Armolas Greenbranch and his son Froliptar. The uncommonly-large dirigible could accommodate Bear-Brother Hemrogo AND his tundra-bear companion Daintycrunch.

Sotavalit ensured that the expedition would be furnished with silver-coated bullets for the small arms; and she added two soldiers to the company (names to be assigned if necessary), who would man a portable 30mm mortar in case of major land combat. Their projectiles had at least the explosive power of an Original Earth hand grenade.

Triglon Fedlo, the long-bearded commerce mediator from Lower Wenzeppu who was acquainted with Ronald of Goliad, was in Upper Wenzeppu, and would be there when Queen's Favor would land not far from where the Trail-Chooser dwelt.

One reason why the Queen of Mifdola felt all right about approving the long-distance expedition was because Consort Felipe's recommendations for negotiating mutual tolerance with the nearby branch of the Sledge Nomads had worked out well.

=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=_=
 
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For considerations of gravity, I have assumed that Punksteema is about the same size as Earth. Social and scientific development in Punksteeman countries varies widely, but the very greatest level of advancement is about the same as Planet Chimpanzia before outsiders began teaching the Chimpanzians higher technology. Absent major supernatural intervention, as when the good spirits teleported Sir Ronald from Wellvernia to Arcondoyla, global circumnavigation of Punksteema has to be on a Jules Verne level.

Wyatt Hickok, Ilya Trostel, Lagmarosk ("roads") Mezdatch and Frethric ("woods") Belgus have not only been traveling around Punksteema (albeit not on the equator), but have been travelling east to west. This means that the prevailing current of the Equatorial Ocean is against them. Sea travel to the west is not impossible, but is more complicated. Reviewing all the lands I have imagined as existing on Punksteema, whatever mode of travel was depicted for characters to get there, I estimate that at least forty percent of the planet's circumference remains completely undescribed. And it won't BE described for now, because I want Wyatt's party to reach "known" territory without misadventure. The first "known" country they'll reach is Komodria, which has only been briefly mentioned before.

Now to review the heroes' present inventory. Sir Wyatt, while certainly no amateur in close melee, has always been more of a pure shooter at heart than the versatile Ronald of Goliad is. At present, Wyatt has two revolvers of slightly smaller caliber than Ronald's magnums-- which allows each cylinder to hold SEVEN rounds. For quite a while, an excellent fighting knife was his only close-range weapon; but while passing through the south-continent country of Tohaz, he had renewed acquaintance with a weapon type he had mastered in youth. What I call a "claw sword" is about identical with the Dacian Falx on Original Earth. (Look it up, it's cool.) The already battle-hardened Ilya Trostel, born to a seagoing family, was privileged to possess a .44 magnum pistol given to him by Ronald. His only other weapons were a decent knife and an excellent axe. This allowed his personal weight allowance, when traveling on foot, to include plenty of ammunition for his revolver. The saying "Don't bring a knife to a gunfight" doesn't exist on Punksteema, but Ilya sort of has the idea.

The newbies, Frethric and Lagmarosk, are now the riflemen of the party, each owning a bolt-action hunting rifle of sufficient caliber to be useful in serious combat. Originally holding only one bullet, the skillful Wyatt had modified them to hold three bullets. Both Pathamelian lads had jumped at Wyatt's offer to purchase claw swords for them in Tohaz, and he had carefully taught them the distinctive techniques for this weapon; but since there might not be time during a close-range battle for them to switch from guns to blades, the elder knight had also furnished them with socket bayonets for the rifles.

Somewhere along the journey, Ilya picks up a "buckler," which is a small shield. In hand-to-hand combat, this would not give whole-body coverage, but could be easily shifted by the user's left hand to execute active parries.

Be it understood that the "skipped over" part of the planet includes lands which are high-tech by Punksteeman standards. Thus, Wyatt, Ilya, Lagmarosk and Frethric will have journeyed much of the remaining distance by train. Some of this was on each continent, but more in Arcondoyla than in Wellvernia. There are no villains currently operating in the above-mentioned Komodria powerful enough to require action by gunslinger-knights. Wyatt's party will hop a sail-driven ship to Quelidar, the island where Jizbrol Tazaff was born. This nation is currently governed by Chieftainess Grenlu Avireska (surname first, as with Mister Jizbrol), a notably self-serving politician. West from there waits the mainland country of Droval, birthplace of the widow Sazka faf-Boli and her daughter Heejee faf-Tujan.

I remind you that this mother-daughter team now dwells in Mifdola. I also remind you that Drovalish people as a group tend to be snobbish, even bigoted: especially toward Quelidards like Tazaff, whom they consider ugly. But this will not have much effect on Wyatt's party when they complete their coming adventure in Quelidar and continue westward.

Here we must freeze-frame the four Towermen, still on that island, while I catch up with Sir Ronald a bit. Where we pick him up, he's had a day and a half to recover from his friendly boxing match with Jarsken Bowdrie, industrial ironworker and civilized labor activist-- sincerely friendly, despite both boxers getting seriously hurt. Ronald initiallydeclined any magical healing, lest he appear wimpy after all.

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Several days later, back at his iron-parts factory in Reslagor, Jarsken was accompanied by Talusek Fernwood. Also by D'Vargut Pril, whose presence as a known business owner verified the goodwill of many capitalists toward all reasonable blue-collar workplace reformers. They were greeted politely by the factory's owner, one Solly Hogan. Welcomed as an interested observer was a welder, Simrac Browning, whose employer did business with Jarsken's employer (but Simrac's employer was much less fair-handed than Mister Hogan).

Jarsken told the fabric merchant, "Mister Hogan has done well by us; he consented to my visit to you. But he catches heat from another source;" and the big man looked to Hogan to continue.

"Four investors hold stock in this plant. I retain forty percent ownership, while each of them has a fifteen-percent stake. Vandals, whom I believe to be under the orders of that slimebag Ulyano Skeetrott, have damaged other properties belonging to those men. All four investors suspect that Jarsken's lot were behind it."

"Ridiculous!" Talusek snapped.

"It's the kind of thing MY employer would want to believe," Simrac interjected.

Nodding to Simrac, Mr. Hogan said, "So it is; but Skeetrott is pretty good at covering his tracks. And my combined stockholders outvote me. They will sue me for malfeasance if I don't fire Jarsken and a dozen of his peers, then bring a complaint against those workers to the authorities. I can't put them off much longer." Looking at D'Vargut: "Can either you, or the Towermen, suggest anything?"

"We can. While he was in Hukshem, Jarsken told us what he knew then about your situation. Six of my friends, plus three Loi-Kikoro merchants named by our friend K'Zogar Poi, will pool our money and offer to buy out your partners. If even one of them agrees, then you'll have the voting right for our share, and just like that you'll have the others outvoted."
 
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Punksteema's moon had recently completed a pass over the land of Hukshem. It was now known to be inhabited by evil Frantic Druids, but this fact was not affecting anyone on the planet directly at present.

In front of the Pril residence, D'Kovo Pril was lightly sparring in Song-Fist style with one of three Nizozuan maidens who aspired to become Smoke Maidens. They had come from their homeland with Ronald, the Jeralo siblings, good-aligned druidess Wildroot Seedoil and others, looking forward to studying under Jillian Shard. The girl enjoying a martial workout with the young Loi-Hukshem archer was Rafomahu of the Lobster Tribe. Let's accent the second syllable in that name. I don't recall if I decided Rafomahu should be older than D'Kovo, but she definitely is not younger than he. Any teenage boy who has fought a Rogbal and lived, can be considered manly enough to merit the interest of a teenage girl.

The other two Nizozu-born Smoke Maiden candidates, Bohili and Warrodai, both older than Rafomahu, had already sparred with each other for practice; now they sat watching the present action. Bohili's whispered opinion was that Rafomahu would be first to express openly her feelings for D'Kovo, while Warrodai's whispers insisted that D'Kovo, being on his home ground, would be first. Both girls, rooting for their fellow Nizozuan, agreed that the Prils would rejoice to see Rafomahu marry into their family, and that she would be treated well by all.

Speaking of obvious pairings:

A hundred paces away, as plain to be seen as D'Kovo and Rafomahu, Ronald of Goliad sat reclining in a Hukshem-type lawn chair, stripped above the waist. Hovering over him, she was applying the Mellow Druids' curative ointment to his partly-healed bruises and cuts; this product was not strictly magical, since anyone could learn to make it. The Gromstarker lady detective beheld that the veteran hero's physique was as perfect as she had expected it to be. Ronald was no younger than forty-five years; but Zoralee had seen him in action at Oxhide Springs, and his long-term stamina was as impressive as his muscle tone.

Fooey, it was time to shoot her shot; at least, a range-finding shot. Rest fingers unmoving on the less-damaged of his hard shoulders....

"Ronny--" By now she had ventured to address him this way four or five times; he had neither taken offense, nor acted obviously pleased. "Ronny, the chivalrous-shooter communities are growing steadily, just a few years after you teleported north from Wellvernia. There'll probably be Towermen in Samplibam and Gahurr the next time you or Wyatt visit those places. You've already seen Talusek taking a wife, and D'Kovo is as close to it now as his age permits. I realize that your apprentices are LIKE sons to you; but shouldn't you be making blood children for yourself, before Talusek sires his SECOND child?"

Ronald stared into space. His mind saw many fellow squires with whom he had grown up in Goliad, learning the way of Sir Edgar Pallendin. Of all these, Wyatt Hickok was the only one who, so far, had neither died in battle against evil, nor retired with disabling injuries. All of them had left Punksteema a cleaner planet by their deeds-- but so far, no children or grandchildren of theirs had become Towermen or Smoke Maidens. Closing his eyes, Ronald's spatial awareness guided his left hand unerringly to touch Miss Jeralo's left cheek. No tears on her face, what of it? We're not in a tin-piece novel. Her feelings are not in dispute. My feelings? My teachers back in Goliad often said that we learn by doing. Very well, if she can use familiar address, so can I.

"Zora. Zora, since I took up the gun, I have saved the lives of at least three hundred women. I was invited to their weddings in thirty or forty instances. But I have no idea how to kiss a woman."

Zoralee deadpanned in reply: "Perhaps I can figure it out, and then show you how." Two seconds after saying this, she was all over him, figuring it out suspiciously fast. The lawn chair spilled them onto the grass. By the time their initial figuring out was done, everyone who had been close by, had retreated to give them as much privacy as being in the open under daylight allowed.

Only after withdrawing some distance did Talusek and D'Kovo allow themselves to howl joyfully for their beloved mentor's sake.
 
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Saint Kung-Sar Free Church in south-central Tablanor, and its pastor Silas Larkburg, remained in high repute since the war against Jaheg-Jorod's liches, ghouls or whatcha-callem. Retired sea captain George Rothermill who had been helpful to Sir Ronald, and Sheriff Ramseth Holst who still was investigating criminal activity of outside origin, also enjoyed enduring prestige. The three men were conferring at the Rothermill manor house when Missus Rothermill announced a visitor, also prestigious.

Admitted to the drawing room, the good-aligned nature-mage Haricot Flakebark opened with: "Greetings, gentlemen. It may interest you to know that Ronald of Goliad has finally permitted himself to be snared by one of the thousands of women who have dreamed about him. She's a lady well known to us Mellow Druids, but to you she's almost the girl next door: Zoralee Jeralo of Gromstark."

Ramseth, as a badge-wearing lawman, regarded Towermen and Smoke Maidens as fellow crimefighters, but felt rather less esteem for private investigators. He said merely, "Will she slow him down?"

Haricot smiled. He knew that Zoralee had been mentored by his own order. "She'll slow him down in the way he himself wishes for. He's been alone for almost as long as you've been alive. Now, he is no longer the ONLY Towerman; there are at least seven others. He has no fear of marriage; his deeds have protected families, not just individuals. He won't say much about it, but he DOES want to be a husband and father."

Captain Rothermill tilted his head back. "Can Sir Ronald eke out at least eight years WITHOUT having to win any wars single-handed?"

Silas replied, "There are men outside the Order of Sir Edgar who can shoulder much of the chivalrous load. Also originating in Gromstark, you may recall Snake-Hand Ysidro Lopez, who avenged the honor of a friend's badly-treated daughter and later married her. He is now a knight of the realm of Mifdola, where his magician cousin is prince-consort. Much farther west, in Bamulica, there's an honorable cavalry officer named Varlock Patterson, who is a rising star. Yes, our world can afford to let Sir Ronald have a life of his own."

"Then back to OUR lives," Sheriff Holst asserted, then glanced at Haricot. "We still need to determine whether anyone hereabouts is still planning to murder Jizbrol Tazaff and stop his airship improvements."

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The massive cutting-edge dirigible Queen's Favor, designed by the Quelidard scientist Jizbrol Tazaff, boasted a coal-fired steam engine to drive its propellers, and still retained maneuvering rockets as a backup. She made very good time crossing the north pole and cruising down the other side. This, despite setting down just before each flyover by the moon. Mellow Druid Armolas Greenbranch, accompanied by his son Froliptar, had warned early on that the Frantic Druids ON the moon would be aware of their flight, and might attempt a harmful spell against the vessel. It would be harder for them to destroy Queen's Favor while it was at rest, in contact with the small-e earth.

During stopovers in open country, Bear-Brother Hemrogo and Daintycrunch would hunt game to help feed the ship's company. Two stopovers were in towns where oatmeal or wheat flour could be purchased; Donnie Tonka would turn this into frybread in a campfire skillet. At those latter stops, Don Ysidro entertained locals with his guitar and swashbuckler singing voice. (As a married man, though, he always had witnesses to the fact that he was never unfaithful to Lady Mercedes.)

Four days in advance of expected arrival, they visited a plotline-convenient major trading post, which possessed a telegraph connection. Kring Dakamish grabbed the opportunity to send a telegram to LOWER Wenzeppu, addressed to Commerce Mediator Triglon Fedlo. Mister Fedlo personally remembered some of the people who were enroute south, and could lend his knowledge to a discussion with Trail-Chooser Sahajil.

On a night when the ship kept going because of good weather conditions, with no moon in sight, Vojur Fod (who had almost been caught by the Rogbal at Oxhide Spring) was at the helm, as the girl Yadiva Folris (Heejee's Mifdolan friend) observed all his ship-handling actions. Armolas joined them.

"The winds have told me that our moon-dwelling foes are plotting something new. They can't do much from where they are at this moment; but they are devising something like a cloud which will come our way while descending through the atmosphere. So far, Froliptar and I haven't been able to augur exactly what it does, but we feel it's meant to disable the ship rather than slay us directly."

Vojur frowned. "Might as well be directly killed, as to fall a mile straight down. Can you discern whether this attack moves with the wind?"

Armolas gazed to windward. "We believe it does. After all, the moon is currently upwind of us, past the horizon."

"Then should we evade INTO the wind, so the magic whatever-it-is overshoots us before it descends to our altitude?"

"That, in fact, is probably our best move. Arrogance is a common failing with Frantic Druids; they just assume that they are smarter than everyone else. I advise turning windward, and also descending a little, to give ourselves more time before the spell reaches our altitude."

Yadiva tapped the good druid's shoulder. "Then shouldn't we wake up the others, alert them?"

"Definitely. Froliptar is already awakening Captain Dakamish. You can wake the women. And Master Armolas, I assume that you'll get Hemrogo up, since particular measures might be needed to help Daintycrunch get through a possible forced landing."

To relieve readers from worry as I move on to a different storyline: yes, there is an attempted attack by the evil druids, but the Queen's Favor does evade it successfully, and still descends to the ground before the moon is overhead. When we next see these characters, they will have already conferred with the Trail-Chooser and the Commerce Mediator, so you can assume that those two characters will have provided any relevant guidance or assistance that they can offer.
 
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On the planet known externally as Freesoil but internally as Bazookadar, Brigadier Earl Pufferton, from the Unified Services of the Human Federation, had recovered from the effects of psionic tampering. This had befallen him when he was mentally probing inside the hollow planet and got psychically attacked by the telepathic Wingdingers. Thereafter, the Edgar Rice Burroughs-derived hero John Cardsharper, who could not be attacked by telepathy, had come front and center where allowing inside-worlders to emerge and visit the outside world was concerned.

Loitering in the hollow realm, Green Flashlights Tiptikditpip and Bill Redvest, with Bill's polymorphing wife Versaderma, sought out a region whose resident pterodactyloids had not accepted telepathic urging from the exterior to accept reform. The trio continued making contact with human tribes. Where they could do so without causing more harm than good, they liberated groups of slaves from the tyrannical reptiles. Versaderma's established strategy of changing form constantly (to confuse Wingdingers about just WHAT kind of being they were detecting) helped them to keep their enemies in a state of uncertainty. Green Flashlight energy had also proven to have some blurring effect on the monsters' clarity of reading.

But the reptilian rulers of a hilly region called Skapso decided to get serious when one of their Slambangani ape-soldiers, an unattached female named Glushwee, ALSO joined the break for liberty. The Wingdingers rounded up some dinosaurs to block the path of the escapees and their liberators. The mechanically-trained Flashlight and the insectoid Flashlight were heavily taxed just blocking hostiles from getting at them or their charges; and their idealistic unwillingness to kill was redoubling the danger of their situation.

However, working from the surface, Earl Pufferton had prepared a counterstrike. Lylah Cardsharper, probing through the miles of rock, had located Bazookadaran humans who could help; then Earl sent a mental suggestion to these humans, prompting them to hasten toward the running battle WITHOUT KNOWING WHY. Accordingly, Wingdingers engaged in the attack against the Green Flashlight-led crowd would not sense any flanking adversaries-- because the newly-located humans DID NOT YET REALIZE that they had a fight coming up. At the latest possible moment, Earl transmitted all necessary facts to the newly arriving humans-- including the numbers and placement of the scaly villains.

By the time the Wingdingers became aware of their peril, more than thirty arrows were flying at them. Half of the Skapsoan Wingdingers, with some of the Slambangani serving them, were slain or wounded just like that. In the moment required to redirect psionic scanning, still more were killed or injured. The demoralized evildoers decided this wasn't worth it, and took off (literally in the case of the Wingdingers).

Glushwee called for the simians who had just been attacking to change sides. None of the still-ambulatory ones accepted the invitation at this time; but the wounded comrades they were forsaking were more than willing to accept treatment for their wounds. No longer needing to fend off assault, Bill and Tiptikditpip used closely-focused energy constructs to stop the worst bleeding among the abandoned Skapsoan apes. Glushwee managed to round up one herbivorous beast from the mob the Skapsoans had sent, so the worst simian casualties could be carried in the direction of the shaft connecting inside with outside.

The human rebels who had helped out were led by a broad-shouldered widower named Dorjambart. He was accompanied by his only surviving child, a pre-teen girl named Jojamra, whose friendship with Glushwee had persuaded the ape-lady to join the exodus.

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Around this time, a troopship for the Human Federation's Movable Infantry landed two hundred miles south of the surface camp of the hollow-realm explorers. A platoon of Starship Grunts, led by Master Sergeant Ace Basey, disembarked and reported to Boone Crockett, Senior Planner of the Freesoil colony. With Boone was the former space pirate Zoot Booter, friend of the also-converted Slick "Dark Headgear" Mudpackis.

The Starship Grunts all carried proper energy weapons now, instead of the woefully underpowered bullet-guns with which they had previously been forced to make do against the Creepycrawlids. But dwarfing their personal weapons, Basey's troops brought a laser cannon (based on an Awkwardispian design), with which the Freesoilers wanted to open a second, well separated shaft into Bazookadar.

Not otherwise needed in the exploratory operation, two respected colonists turned up to tell the less-experienced soldiers about life on this pioneers' world. They were the human blue-collar worker Denzel Powder, and his green-skinned Tryyurluck wife Lumlabbish. Both of them had been married, raised children to adulthood, and been widowed before they ever met on Freesoil. Rediscovering true love with each other, Denzel and Lumlabbish had enjoyed the thrill of a visit to the "second galaxy," and later the joy of somebody good-aligned and powerful making them young enough organically to procreate new Human-Tryyurluck children of their own. (Refer to Disney's "Ahsoka" series, where Hera Syndulia has a son by Master Kanan.)

I remind readers that John Cardsharper's wife Lylah, formerly a space pirate in Zoot Booter's gang as was Krayzee Mudpackis, also shares with Krayzee the use of The Fuss. Krayzee was elsewhere just now, but Lylah and John began working with Ace Basey's personnel. Fuss users are not mind readers, but can pick up a limited impression of what people are thinking. Each soldier was also questioned about whether he or she had ever been around a Psionic Bug of the Creepycrawlids. This was part of trying to determine whether Starship Grunts might be able to fight Wingdingers without being captured mentally. The human troops were also introduced to Tarp Kanvas and his Green-Martian- copycats, who all possessed their own limited psychic ability.

The six-limbed warriors could not hide their presence from telepaths; but when engaged in combat, their actions were near enough to automatic that they became nearly unreadable. It looked improbable that the human soldiers would ever achieve this advantage.

"If we could get more up-siders here," Lylah told John, "they might be able to ride herd on the human soldiers: head off any effort by Wingdingers to control them against us. I wonder if Plow Korn or Moose Windchime is available?"
 
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