Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

While millions of Dora's fans came to realize that no matter how hard they screamed at the TV screen, she couldn't hear her. However this was discvored too little, too late, and they could all look forward to long and happy lives as sports fans who yell at the TV screen hoping to change the outcome of the game.
 
Happily, a few of the sports fans finally got a clue about this. Then they turned off their television sets, and went outdoors to PLAY some sports THEMSELVES.
 
Meanwhile Aquaman was rather miffed that Captain Planet went down so easily in the Big Battle against Batman, Iron Man and Green Arrow. Aquaman looked forward to taking him on and proving once and for all that he was not the lamest superhero ever. He emeregde from the water where he saw Green Arrow hitting Captain Planet's corpsified remains with his boxing Glove Arrow. He asked him why, to which the Emerald Archer replied,

"We're superhereos! We never stay dead. Gotta make sure Green Mullet man stays dead."
 
Some scientists from S.H.I.E.L.D., ignoring the D.C.-versus-Marvel separation, approached Aquaman and told him: "You know, even though Captain Planet IS ridiculous, that doesn't mean there aren't some REAL environmental issues affecting the oceans. Can we interest you in helping us with some experiments in cleansing seawater from various pollutants?"
 
"With all do respect, Agent Coulson," replied Aquaman. "I'm from Atlantis. We figured all that out two days after the Exon Valdez Oil Spill. You surface dwellers only needed ask."
 
"Of coruse," said Aquaman. " I made sure to make it so easy that even a fish could use it. Just aim it at the pollutants and press the blue button to turn it on. Red to turn it off."
 
At the soonest opportunity, the S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel did exactly as Aquaman had instructed them. Watching for the result, they saw...
 
It cleaned up everything. Oil spills, radiation, grease stains, and even those pesky mustard stains. It turned out that The Atlanteans had developed the perfect all purpsoe cleaner.

The process even helped rebuild the coral reefs.
 
Then, unfortunately, Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell came to the beach and had a conversation, using the kind of language they both frequently use. Just from their talking nearby, the ocean became filthy again.
 
Meanwhile, in an alternate reality, the alternate version of Les Miz, the alternate Fantine who had NOT died of tuberculosis was with her husband, the alternate Jean Valjean. They were looking forward to Cosette marrying, not the silly Marius, but a son of Elizabeth and Darcy from "Pride and Prejudice."
 
The son of Mr .Darcy and Elizabeth, we will call him Robert, and Cossette were very happy together. Their daughter married a very fine and upsatnding man by the last name of Kirke. Their grandson would be none other than the famous Professor Diggory Kirke!
 
Up in Heaven, Mister Lewis read the above post on his computer, and immediately declared, "Of course! THAT'S what I should have added to Magician's Nephew!"
 
Unknowingly to the people of San Diego, the T. Rex that escaped from the cargo ship that came from Isla Sorna was in fact Barney the Dinosaur. The U.S. government had shipped him to Isla Sorna 10 years ago to keep him from eating everyone when he turned bad, but the team of hunters hired by InGen to catch dinosaurs for the new theme park in San Diego didn't know that they had in fact captured the most terrifying dino ever.
 
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