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  #51  
Old 07-22-2012, 01:35 PM
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I confess it's a side of P&P I would never have thought or imagined! I found myself gasping in shock at the unconventionality of the whole short story. Yet it was brilliantly written. I suppose it conveys the feelings of many Austen fans towards the domineering and pompous Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
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  #52  
Old 07-27-2012, 01:06 AM
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Saruman, glad to see you back on forum! And thanks for the approval. I had considered making it a tag-team slaughter, based on Sense and Sensibility, with good girls Elinor and Marianne teaming up to massacre bad girls Fanny and Lucy.
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  #53  
Old 07-27-2012, 07:36 AM
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It would be good to see a discussion of inanimate objects as characters. By this I don't just mean some sort of self-guided search-and-destroy tank that went bezerk, but references to the environment, weather patterns, waves, etc that seem to reference them like characters in the story.

A good example is a river that an experienced boatman talks about as if it were a woman. She's fine when she's calm and steady, but about yonder ways she gets a might excited, breaking into rapids and whirlpools. She'll kiss you, then she'll kill you if you don't watch out....

Things like that.
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Old 07-27-2012, 11:29 AM
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The late Ray Bradbury did something like that in a short story whose title I recall as "There Will Come Soft Rains." It took place far enough in the future to imagine a house with an artificial intelligence to provide services. The house was empty, because those EEEEEE-vil military people who always wanted to blow up the world, had at last gotten around to blowing up the world, so everyone in or anywhere near the robot house was dead. But the house kept on meaninglessly functioning.
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Old 10-07-2012, 03:16 AM
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I am not posting the whole thing (it's going to be very long) but here's the opening paragraphs of my newest draft:

This is the account of the life of Ivan Ivanovitch, a man of little to no importance, detailing his descent into the darkest glooms of humanity, his valiant rebirth, and premature death. Though his story spanned less than thirty years, I have followed it for this greater portion of my life, tracing it from the gutter of Petersburg to the remotest corner of Siberia. It has taken me the better part of fifty years to collect the necessary information, but now I think I can tell his story with reasonable accuracy. Yet, there are patches of darkness upon which no amount of probing can shed light, and I hope that I may be forgiven for the occasional embellishment.

His story, for all its miseries, is common enough. Men like Ivan have existed through every period of time, and will continue to exist until the world falls. Ivan was a man of the most ordinary sort: neither highborn nor heroic nor learned. Although his story was stamped across newspapers in his time, it has now faded into obscurity. A common criminal. A petty murderer. A madman. Just one face among many. At the same time: an older brother, a fighter, a true friend. There are far too many stories about extraordinary men. Why shouldn't the ordinary have their place in stories?

I have walked the path he walked. I have met people who saw him, or
knew of him, or perhaps even were frightened of him. I have met only one who spoke kindly of him, and that man is years gone. I first heard the vaguest details of his journey from this man, and when I heard it, I wept. I followed his trail, picking it up from peasants and convicts, priests and thieves. And what can I say now, about this man whom few people loved, many hated, and most forgot? I can only say that I must tell it, as impartially and fairly as I can manage. And perhaps he will be remembered after all.
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:16 AM
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This will almost certainly be the SHORTEST story I ever post on Dancing Lawn. It's another Jane Austen pastiche. Think of it as an "alternate path" arising before the end of Sense and Sensibility.

THE BRANDON SOLUTION


There was a knock on the door of Barton Cottage. Elinor Dashwood answered it, to find Colonel Brandon holding out a bouquet of roses to her.

"My dear Miss Dashwood," said the kindly Colonel, "I've been doing some thinking. You've been in love with a wimp, and I've been in love with a girl who, even if she is your sister, is awfully ditzy to put it mildly. Why should we go on putting up with this? I'm the man with the most wisdom and integrity in this novel, and you're the woman with the most wisdom and integrity. Let's get smart, marry each other, and let the fools be fools without our help."

Only when it was put to her this way did Elinor realize what a great idea it really was. "Cool, I'll do it!" she exclaimed, flinging her arms around the Colonel's neck and kissing him fervently.

So Colonel Brandon and Elinor lived happily ever after.
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