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The Land of Duffers Babbling Loonies ..games ..randomness. ONLY HERE

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  #11  
Old 10-25-2010, 09:40 AM
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I just re-read that pancake entry. Some people could turn anything into a duffer object!
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  #12  
Old 10-30-2010, 09:38 PM
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Telmarines

Some argue that this entry should be singular, as there is only one Telmarine in Dufferland, namely Sopespian. However, as Sopespian has previously claimed nearly all the smilies (even Waldo) as Telmarines, most believe that Telmarines should be plural.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
Here's Winky , The Original Smiley , Ms. Blush , and Pinky . They are all Telmarine dukes.
Apparently Telmarines believe themselves to be superior to others in many areas, namely thinking:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
THOUGHT? You THOUGHT? You're a mod! Mods are supposed to leave the thinking to the Telmarines! It's too hard on a mod's brain to think, so we just leave the thread-locking and member-banning to them.
Oddly, Telmarines are unfortunately addicted to the American version of football, which, apparently unbeknownst to C.S. Lewis, was once very popular in Narnia:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
You're banned because you need to watch the TFL (Telmarine Football League)! It's exciting! Currently the Lantern Waste Lamplighters are beating the Beaversdam Beaver Dams (original, I know) 10-7.
Telmarines apparently have deluded themselves into believing that they are the defenders of all that is good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
Telmarine nobles must be very protective of their Dr. Pepper and sweater-vests.
The great flaws of the Telmarines are evidently pride...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
I don't belong here either. I'm a dignified Telmarine lord. Hmph.
Quote:
Would you like to know who I am? I am the mighty Telmarine Noble, who could wipe you out with one finger, but I am much too honorable for that. However, if you so much as taunt me, I would be forced to slaughter you in self-defense.
...laziness...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
Being a Telmarine Lord, I have a servant for all that crummy menial labor.
Quote:
You're banned because you are not the servant of a Telmarine Lord.
...and violence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
Did you forget that I'm a Telmarine? We demolish dwarfs.
Quote:
[If a wolf started talking to me I would] command my servant to, ahem, pass a sword through its throat. I despise talking animals.
Quote:
The Telmarine Lords could not care less who wins this war! Wipe them all out! Crush them all! Dwarf, elf, talking animal, you're all going down because it's always the Telmarine Lord who wins the war.
They are also notoriously bad at naming their children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sopespian
You ain't seen nothin' yet. What about my good friend Oceanophobic, the Telmarine Secretary of the Navy? (Actually, we don't have a navy. It's more or less an honorary position. He's not real bright, but he bribes... er... tips well, so we had to give him some kind of position.)

Then there's Glopespian, a combination of my name and my best friend's.

Cor and Aravis' son, other than Ram, of course, would be Coravis.

Then when Ram married a lady named Dodgelina, the result would be DodgeRam.
Telmarines are considered the scourge of the forum by some (namely those with Narnian sympathies) and merely irritating by others. However, despite the widespread dislike for such a proud and difficult people, they have apparently not been whale-splatted, cliff-splattted, squirted with cheese whiz, forced into the Insane Asylum, locked in the mod lounge, or duct-taped to a train. Perhaps these unfortunate oversights will be corrected in the future.
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Additional Reading
1. The "Ask a Telmarine" thread, by Sopespian (warning: inordinate pro-Telmarine bias)
2. "The Prophecy of Sopes" by Miss Freckles (written after he entered a romantic relationship with Taylor Swift and Freckles unwisely nominated him Duffer poet laureate)
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He marked the wood and the cloven ways
With an old captain's eyes,
And he thought how many a time had he
Sought to see Doom he could not see;
How ruin had come and victory,
And both were a surprise.

Last edited by Glenburne; 10-25-2015 at 11:27 PM.
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  #13  
Old 10-30-2010, 11:34 PM
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*whale-splats Winky*
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  #14  
Old 10-30-2010, 11:49 PM
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*shoves Sopespian and the smilies off a cliff*
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  #15  
Old 10-31-2010, 02:47 PM
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Bufferduffin and Dufferbuffin

Bufferduffin is the mysterious man in a black robe on the corner of a dark alley who sells rather interesting potions hard to get anywhere else, not to be confused with Dufferbuffin, the man in a black robe on the corner of a dark alley who has a big sign hung around his neck with Bufferduffin's name on it.

The two are conpletely unrelated, but look awfully similar. To tell them apart one must remember that Bufferduffin has a big bushy white beard and an evil gleam in his eyes, unlike Dufferbuffin, who has a bushy gray beard and a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Neither sell trustworthy products. Bufferduffin once sold somene a cookie which was to make the eater to sprout wings and fly, but instead set the poor girl to flame. And Dufferbuffin once sold someone what he claimed to be iocane, but instead of being ordorless, it had a distinct smell.

[original discussion]

-Lossėndil
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Last edited by Lossėndil; 10-20-2011 at 04:09 PM.
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  #16  
Old 10-31-2010, 04:25 PM
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Bufferduffin and Dufferbuffin?! I knew it. You're trying to steal my brain again.
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My literature blog, FirstFire

He marked the wood and the cloven ways
With an old captain's eyes,
And he thought how many a time had he
Sought to see Doom he could not see;
How ruin had come and victory,
And both were a surprise.
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  #17  
Old 11-02-2010, 12:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenburne View Post
Bufferduffin and Dufferbuffin?! I knew it. You're trying to steal my brain again.
Hehehehe..I always love how you make words!
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  #18  
Old 11-02-2010, 12:48 PM
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I must say, I am not ashamed of any of this. It's just who I am!

However, I believe you forgot to mention that we Telmarines post in Book Antiqua font all the time.
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  #19  
Old 11-02-2010, 01:36 PM
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Book Antiqua and Garamond look basically the same; how was I supposed to know which you like posting in? And no, I don't think quoting you constantly is a valid solution.
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My literature blog, FirstFire

He marked the wood and the cloven ways
With an old captain's eyes,
And he thought how many a time had he
Sought to see Doom he could not see;
How ruin had come and victory,
And both were a surprise.
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  #20  
Old 11-02-2010, 01:44 PM
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Oh, my, this is all very amusing. The entry on Sushi explained a lot of things for me. He seems to be an awfully intriguing creature. So is Mr. Green, of course. Glenburne's entry about him reminded me of the Epic Odyssey of Phil, which my sister wrote with some friends from another forum. It was about the smilie, who was self-concious about his teeth. Mr. Green showed him how to brush teeth nicely and have a good smile. (At least I think that's right... my sister never let me read it, she just told me the basic plot.)
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