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The Land of Duffers Babbling Loonies ..games ..randomness. ONLY HERE

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  #1  
Old 07-28-2010, 12:38 PM
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Default What happens if you put anti-aging cream on a baby?

So, my brother and I were listening to the radio and we heard a commercial for anti-aging cream, and it reminded me of a commercial I had seen for shampoo that “takes 5 years off your hair!” So...(what follows is our actual thought process and ideas, in order of how they occurred)

What if we put it on a two-year-old? Will their hair disappear?

What about if we have shampoo that puts 5 years on your hair! Then, you could put it on a baby four times and he’d have a purple mohawk! But, his head would be too small for it, so it would be hovering!!! You could shave off your hair, then grow it back, then shave it off, then grow it back, forever! And then you would have a mountain of hair, and you could knit something. “Yes, this world-record-sized tent? I made it all from my own hair, and in five minutes, too!”

And then...Do it to a sheep! The world would only ever need one sheep ever again! It would be amazing. So, say you had a five-year-old sheep and then you started washing it with shampoo that took five years off its hair and then shearing it all the time, 24-7. We would have infinite wool! But what happens when it gets to be 10? Does it have no hair, since at 5 it had no hair when we shaved it? Or does it now have the hair it had 10 years ago? Hmmm...

Or, you could add five years onto your hair over and over and over until you see what your hair will look like when you’re 25, 55, 75, 105, or 555!


What about anti-aging cream? The stuff that “takes five years off you!”

What if we put it on a two-year-old? Will it disappear? and, more importantly Will it reappear after five years? Or three? Will it reappear as a baby after 3 years, or will it reappear as a two-year-old in 5 years?

We can make a delayed-reaction army! Make specifically tailored doses so that everyone turns -5, and then, in five years, they all reappear!

I am telling you, this is the future. Infinite sheep, plus delayed reaction armies! We were bored today, so we invented all of these things. Anyone want to be part of our first clinical trials? At your own risk, of course.

--A news release from Laurel, now aged 4, and Joseph, now aged -3 (we tried it once too many on him...)

P.S. You probably shouldn’t tell the SWAT team, what with how they already have it in for me with the pixy stix and all...
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Old 07-28-2010, 12:47 PM
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By the way, if you would like to see my amazing run-ins with the SWAT team, I have them here: https://docs.google.com/document/edi...hkey=CM-WjpEI# I use several aliases in this to avoid SWAT team detection, but they always seemed to find me...*sigh* However, if you are confused, those aliases include Laurel, Laurelstar, and Laura. I'm not saying which is my official real-life name, because that would be giving things away, wouldn't it? (though I go by all of the above in real life; I mean you shall always have to wonder what my legal name is until it drives you insane. Wait, too late. If you're reading this, chances are you're already insane. How about insane-er?) I created this document long before I heard of duffering. Can I be an unconscious Duffer? Especially considering I'm unconscious half the time when the SWAT team catches me?
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Old 07-28-2010, 12:47 PM
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you are going to be a great duffer!
haha great start!
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Old 07-28-2010, 01:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amdd97 View Post
you are going to be a great duffer!
haha great start!
Thank you! Though, if you hadn't thought it funny, I would have had to shun you. As it is, you may be my friend. I'll even give you some pixy stix after we take over SWAT headquarters.
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Old 07-28-2010, 01:26 PM
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yes a very good duffer indeed!
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Old 07-28-2010, 01:32 PM
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Caspian: O.O I love this person!
Flower: M'kay TMI!
Frodo: Can I have my toaster back? Puh-lease?
Caspian: No. Clone it, willyer?
Frodo: -.- can I use it if we help take over the SWAT headquarters?
Caspian: If Mewsie will let us help then sure!

Meet my insane kittens. And I have more. Oh yes many many more. We tend to get into many problems and miraculously get back out again. Caspian and Frodo want to help you take over the SWAT headquarters and get your pixy stix back.

and I agree with amdd97 here you will be a good duffer.

Caspian: Whats a SWAT team anyway?
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Old 07-28-2010, 01:40 PM
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My friend Cakey wants to marry you. XD
I don't know if you'll be able to do anything about it either. She's right now full-out planning my friend's wedding to the Unofficial king of Noxville - her pet alpaca named Theodore/Ted who is also a zombie.
But after that she'll start yours. In which she'll happily serve a cake made of purple meat and take over the SWAT headquarters on a honeymoon...

Her words not mine. XD

MY words; You sir/madam, are epic.
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Old 07-28-2010, 01:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mozart the Meerkitten View Post

Caspian: Whats a SWAT team anyway?
Why, just click on any of the links inside my document that say "Click here to learn more about the US SWAT team."
(Hopefully it isn't illegal to pretend to steal pixy stix from the SWAT team...)
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Old 07-28-2010, 01:44 PM
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I likes pixi stix... my brother calls it sugar crack. We needs to break the SWAT team from their addiction.
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Old 07-28-2010, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss.SunFlower View Post
My friend Cakey wants to marry you. XD
I don't know if you'll be able to do anything about it either. She's right now full-out planning my friend's wedding to the Unofficial king of Noxville - her pet alpaca named Theodore/Ted who is also a zombie.
But after that she'll start yours. In which she'll happily serve a cake made of purple meat and take over the SWAT headquarters on a honeymoon...

Her words not mine. XD

MY words; You sir/madam, are epic.
Um, I missed this one. I am female. Cakey appears to be female. Let's just be friends and business partners. I have some good tips on the cheese chicken stock market.
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