Sarah McFlair, Srib

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  • 9-10 This is a really great fanfic story! I can't wait for the next chapter!

    Votes: 8 88.9%
  • 7-8 It's pretty good, but could be better.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
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    Votes: 1 11.1%
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Crunchine

New member
As I did with my other fanfiction, I copied this straight from fanfiction.net. Please go there and review it if you like! Thanks!:)

Hello everyone! Finally a version of this story I am happy with! I hope to publish a chapter every Saturday until this story is finally complete. Just as a minor background note, this is the updated, revised, re-edited, turned, flipped around, better version of the first official fan-fiction I wrote when I was known as Jean Cay, and then Haras Railfcm, about 9 years ago. Back then it was a full Mary-Sue, but I didn't know that. I had so many versions of the first chapter of this story, many of them really badly written I see now that I look back. Sarah went away for a few years, then came back when Meda, a LOTR fanfic character, came to me. Sarah waited in the background, her story different and changing every so often as I wrote Narnia: The Musical. In December of 2007, her story finally came out completely, and this story was put on the front burner again. I began doing my "research" and reread the entire Harry Potter series book after book to refresh my brain and make notes. Having completed the 40 chapter fanfiction Narnia: The Musical, I have grown so much as a writer, so I hope with my still learning and refining writing skills and Sarah's willingess to tell everyone her FULL story, no acceptions, nothing made up to cover the not so pretty parts, we will create a story that you, our beloved reader, will enjoy. As a slight warning, as I stated before, this did start as a Mary-Sue so many years ago, and even though many, and I do mean many, things have changed about Sarah and her story, the basic parts are still there, so sometimes there may be a hint of the Mary-Sue she used to be, but please know that's only a slight tribute, you could say, to the writer who started writing this story in a classroom 9 years ago.

Thank you, and on behalf of both Sarah and I, please enjoy, Harry Potter and the American Invasion.

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Prologue

The large front doors to the McFlair estate flew open.

The most…infuriating, immature, impossible, im-…UG!” shrieked fifteen year old Sarah McFlair.

She stormed inside the formerly peaceful and ornate entrance hall of her 22-story home in Malibu, California.

Her temper having taken control yet again, the redhead slammed the front doors with all her non-magical might, and that by itself was enough force on its own to make an entire room vibrate, but not this magic house. Not even the hangers in the immense closets used for parties rattled.

The noise was heard, however, by Mrs. McFlair, who flew down the grand staircase to her daughter, who stormed right past her, up the staircase, and to the elevators.

“Sarah, what in the world is the matter?! I could hear you all the way up in the lounge!” she exclaimed in her thick Greek accent.

Sarah responded with silence and pressed the button to call the elevator. Callista could hear her daughter’s heavy breathing, and as she got closer, saw the familiar “look of death” on Sarah’s face. If Sarah could kills with one look, her “look of death”, as her family called it, would. Sarah glared at the elevator with so much anger in her eyes it looked as if the elevator was the cause of her problem, and she was trying to make lasers come out of her eyes and burn holes through it.

Callista waited for the elevator to come as well, and was quiet as they rode up to Sarah’s room on the 20th floor. She followed Sarah as she punched in the security code and the doors to her room opened. As soon as Callista shut the doors, Sarah erupted again.

“Four years! Four! I’ve know them for four years and this is how they treat me! They act like I’ve always been a follower! And Amelia and I were best friends for three years! And then for Jacob to go along with them?! I can’t believe it!”

At ‘believe’, Sarah’s hair turned from fiery red to a head of actual flames. Her green eyes turned a bright white, and the air around her began to swirl. Callista knew she had to calm her Srib daughter down quickly before she destroyed something again. Having a Srib for a daughter meant that Sarah could do magic without a wand, unlike the majority of the magical community to which she and her family belonged. But something that many would think a luxury was actually more of a burden, especially during the teenage years.

When a Srib hits puberty, their full powers begin coming in, many times in giant spurts, which has many side-effects. Sarah already had a fiery temper, and when she lost it, she lost control of her power, like she was doing at the moment.

“Sarah,” said her mother calmly, “please take a deep breath, calm down, and tell me what happened. Did your friends and you have another fight?”

“The last one we will ever have!” Sarah shouted. “I only have Liz, Maggie, and Rose now! They don’t have a problem with me having a brain of my own! I told Jacob, my now ex-boyfriend, Amelia, Mary, Mike, and Elaine, all people who I’ve been ‘friends’ with for at least four years, about how I made my final decision to go abroad next year, and then they got all upset because ‘that’s not what we decided.’ ‘We’?! Who is this ‘we’?! This isn’t the first time they’ve been mad because I did something without discussing it with the rest of the clique- because, oh yes,” Sarah’s voice shook with anger, “I see now that that’s what they have- a clique. A clique that if you do so much as even think about breathing without discussing it and making sure everyone is ok with it, then oh my gosh, what did you do, the WORLD IS GOING TO END! Well I told them that this is it! I am through with them! I’m leaving the country in two months, and don’t bother writing me! And my boyfriend stood there and argued along with them! It’s not like I hadn’t talked about it with any of them before! I’ve been thinking and planning this for months! Who needs them anyway?!”

Sarah’s voice quieted and her appearance returned to normal. The air stopped swirling. Callista could see a hint of sadness at the loss of the majority of her closest friends mixing in with the anger on Sarah’s face.

“You were right Sarah, you don’t need people like that,” Callista said, walking over to her daughter. “I’m glad you know that and stood up for yourself, but I just wish you’d control your temper more.”

“I didn’t blow up or do anything magical until just now, so that’s at least some improvement,” remarked Sarah, now drained from her outburst.

Callista smirked. “True.” She held up an envelope. “Guess what came?”

Sarah, rubbing her eyes, sighed. “The letter that will tell me which School of Magic around the world will get the experience of having a Srib who can’t control her powers or temper?” she asked sarcastically.

“Exactly.”

Sarah’s eyes popped open.


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More to come! I welcome constructive critiscm and any reviews that let me know my work is enjoyed!
 
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Ooh! I generally don't like HP fanfiction, but this one seems really interesting. I like how the main character is one of your own rather than one of JK Rowling's. Post more! :)
 
Ooh! I generally don't like HP fanfiction, but this one seems really interesting. I like how the main character is one of your own rather than one of JK Rowling's. Post more! :)

Thank you! I will! Sarah has been with me and in my head for about 9 years, so I can hopefully do her correct story justice this time. Since I've spent so much time with her in my head, I only hope I can get my readers to understand her as well as I do and that I can get the right things across correctly so that I am happy with the results.
 
Hello everyone! I wasn't able to type this up last night like I wanted so I could it post first thing this morning, but it's here now, when I said I would have it, which is a good start for me, as any of you who were with me during my Narnia: The Musical experience know. If you haven't read the revised and 10x better first chapter version, please do that first. From this point on, this is the farthest I've gotten with this story ever. I have a million different first chapter versions, and I might have written a second chapter at some point, but none were published, until now! So please enjoy!
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Chapter 2: An Elemental Entrance

“Bye Harry!” Luna Lovegood called out dreamily as she headed to the Ravenclaw table.

After she was lost in the crowds of students gathering for the beginning of term feast, Ron turned to Harry and said, shaking his head, “Mental, that one is sometimes. The ideas that come out of her head.”

“Oh shut up, Ron,” Ginny responded, annoyed. “Luna is just a little different, that’s all.” With that and an angry look at her brother, she too disappeared as she went to join her fellow forth-years.

“Really Ron, Ginny’s right,” said Hermione as the three friends found seats at the Gryffindor table. “You could be a bit kinder to Luna. She’s not crazy, just a little different.”

But before Ron could retort, Dumbledore stood up and soon after the Sorting Ceremony began. Ron’s attitude towards Luna was forgotten during the feast due to their discussions about the Sorting Hat’s new song and the arrival of Umbridge.

Their fears were confirmed after the feast when Dumbledore announced that Umbridge would be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

That should be interesting,” remarked Harry to himself.

“Hem, hem,” said Umbridge from the Head Table as she interrupted Dumbledore. The whole hall was shocked as she stood up, apparently about to give a speech.

The speech was as boring as Harry thought it would be. She seemed to drone on and on and on.

“…and I’m sure we will all grow to be great friends,” continued Umbridge an infinitesimal number of minutes later. “I’m sure my colleagues and I will-”

But she never got to finish.
A loud and deep Boom, like a large drum being struck was heard, and the entire hall vibrated.

Boom.

Silence.

Boom.

Silence.

Boom.

By this time everyone was looking around to see where the noise was coming from. A shriek was heard and suddenly everyone was staring at the large closed doors to the Great Hall. The booming continued, but was now accompanied by what appeared to be frost creeping up and covering the large doors. A cold fog was seeping under the doors into the hall now too.

“Ah,” said Dumbledore, rising again. A dumbstruck and outraged Umbridge still stood. “It seems our guests have arrived a little late, but safe none-the-less.”

The whole hall now went dark and the loudest Boom sounded. The doors flew open and four hooded figures marches purposefully into the Great Hall. Magical blue, red, green, and yellow flames lit their path from the doors, around the back of the hall, and down between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables to where Dumbledore stood.

When they reached the turn in their path, a huge gust of wind flew down the center aisle and the flames shot up and burned so brightly that everyone momentarily shut their eyes. When they opened them, they saw that their visitors had changed their appearance. The four now were dressed in long, shiny, black trench coats. There were two males, and two females, all around Harry’s age. They all had dark hair except for one of the girls whose hair looked like the red flames that were burning. Both girls had their hair pulled back into a tight bun, and all four marched seriously up to the Head Table and lined up, each in front of a House table.

“Headmaster Dumbledore,” said the boy who appeared to be the oldest. All four held their arms straight out to the sides and stared straight forward. “We are the exchange students from America. We apologize for our late arrival, and thank you for allowing us to come. We are proud to represent Universe Senior High School of Magic!”

At this, with one fluid motion, each exchange student brought their hands down to their side, arched their backs, stomped their foot, and flew into the air. As they flew above their heads, the Hogwarts students could see that they were each being propelled by a different element and color.

“Representing the Fire Academy,” continued the oldest boy as he flew around, “Candace Nizzola!”

A brown-haired girl who had red flames propelling her landed in front of Dumbledore and curtsied with a large smile. “Eleventh grade,” she said, and moved in front of the Slytherin table.

“Representing the Water Academy-” started the boy again, but was cut off by the red-haired girl who landed and her blue ice water disappeared.

“Sarah McFlair, tenth grade,” she said, slightly nodding her head to Dumbledore before marching in front of the Ravenclaw table.

“Demetrio Gonzales, Earth Academy, ninth grade,” said the youngest boy who had had green vines propelling him. He bowed before moving in front of Gryffindor’s table.

Finally the oldest boy, propelled by a wind that glowed yellow, landed.

“And I am Makani Kai,” he said. “Twelfth grade, from the Air Academy.” He bowed as well, and then stood in front of Hufflepuff’s table.

The grand entrance complete, the hall burst into applause and cheers.

“Welcome, welcome, exchange students!” said Dumbledore. “By the looks of it, you already know with which house you will be staying. I will make sure that suppers are brought up to your rooms-”

“Slave labor,” hissed Hermione.

“Don’t start, Hermione,” groaned Ron.

“-your classmates will help you adjust,” finished Dumbledore. “Now off to bed with all of you, and try and get some sleep before tomorrow!”

As the Hogwarts students got up, Ginny watched as the exchange students looked around, trying to figure out what to do next. Makani was soon surrounded by Hufflepuffs asking him questions, and headed off with them. She was not surprised to see Hermione half-dragging Ron to go introduce themselves as prefects to Demetrio. It looked like Candace had been immediately accepted by Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls. Sarah, however, hung in the back of the Ravenclaw crowd. It appeared that no one wanted to approach the girl who was surveying them with a piercing look.

“Ginny, are you coming?” called one of her friends, and she turned away and followed the rest of the Gryffindors out of the Great Hall and away from a still dumbstruck Umbridge.

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Please review so I know how you like the story so far! Also, as I may have said before, I have had Sarah in my head for 9 years, so I know her character very well, and may accidentally take that for granted. So if you see her reacting to something and don't understand why, or if you are confused and need anything in my story explained, please let me know. Sometimes I may not be able to answer you because you just have to wait and see because it will be explained later on in the plot, but most likely I will fix the problem and try to help you understand Sarah better. I can't know how/if you like it if you don't review, so please do! Thanks, and see you next week for the next chapter!

Haras


for my TDL friends, if you want to review on fanfiction as well, which I would greatly appreciate, just click this link-
http://www.fanfiction.net/~harasrailfcm
and all the way at the bottom is a link to this story, and you can review it by going down to the bottom of whatever chapter you want to review and clicking the "Submit a Review" button
 
This is so good! The dialogue between Rowling's characters is very believable and seems true to how they should be acting, and I loved the entrance the four exchange students made. Just curious, (this will probably be explained later in the story) but how do they fly? Also, I'm really happy that you didn't put Sarah in Gryffindor. So many people when writing a HP fanfiction seem so keen to get their characters in with the "golden trio", I'm glad that yours is in Ravenclaw and has a chance at meeting other characters. I'm very interested to see where this is going, and how much you keep similar to the 5th book. Keep writing! :)
 
This is so good! The dialogue between Rowling's characters is very believable and seems true to how they should be acting, and I loved the entrance the four exchange students made. Just curious, (this will probably be explained later in the story) but how do they fly? Also, I'm really happy that you didn't put Sarah in Gryffindor. So many people when writing a HP fanfiction seem so keen to get their characters in with the "golden trio", I'm glad that yours is in Ravenclaw and has a chance at meeting other characters. I'm very interested to see where this is going, and how much you keep similar to the 5th book. Keep writing! :)

Thank you so much! I really try to keep with the character's character. I'm glad I can do it with HP too. Sarah's definately not a Gryffindor, as you may see. Ravenclaw has been my favorite house for many years now.
Them flying...the best way to explain it would be to say that the elements that were propelling them acted like mini shoe-rocket boosters, or a hover craft, along those lines. Does that make sense?
 
Thank you so much! I really try to keep with the character's character. I'm glad I can do it with HP too. Sarah's definately not a Gryffindor, as you may see. Ravenclaw has been my favorite house for many years now.
Them flying...the best way to explain it would be to say that the elements that were propelling them acted like mini shoe-rocket boosters, or a hover craft, along those lines. Does that make sense?

You're welcome! :) And yes, I think I better understand the flying now.
I'll be out of town for a week starting tomorrow and won't have any computer access, but I hope you'll have some more done when I get back. ;)
 
Good job crunchy i agree its good you put them in different houses i like the exchange student idea Yeah i was always curious bout other houses it seemed not it was always Gryfinndoor and Sylherin she focused on. Towards the end Rowling started including the other houses i was always more partial to ravenclow myself and Hufflepuff I like how you capcutre luna hermione and the other main charcters in there keep it up.

PS I think we were i left for awhile then i changed my name but i kept my banner so peole would know me plus changign banners on here is a chore in itselef. but i changed my avvie cause i felt like it. plus for some reson lately i am back into lotr alot.
 
You're welcome! :) And yes, I think I better understand the flying now.
I'll be out of town for a week starting tomorrow and won't have any computer access, but I hope you'll have some more done when I get back. ;)

Ok, good:)
I wrote Chapter 3 yesterday, and I will type that up this week and publish it Saturday morning hopefully. Next week will be different, because I will probably not be able to get access to this site or fanfiction, so I may end up putting out the Chapter 4 Aug. 6 or 7.

Good job crunchy i agree its good you put them in different houses i like the exchange student idea Yeah i was always curious bout other houses it seemed not it was always Gryfinndoor and Sylherin she focused on. Towards the end Rowling started including the other houses i was always more partial to ravenclow myself and Hufflepuff I like how you capcutre luna hermione and the other main charcters in there keep it up.

PS I think we were i left for awhile then i changed my name but i kept my banner so peole would know me plus changign banners on here is a chore in itselef. but i changed my avvie cause i felt like it. plus for some reson lately i am back into lotr alot.

Thanks! I will tell more of the story's background story, how it's developed over the years, later on in my chapter intros. I'm trying to have the story from everyone's perspective. I did my Narnia fanfic like that too. In the series, it's mostly from Harry's perspective, with the exception of a few chapters in the later books. There is more I want to say about that, but I may give something away, so I will stop. And I'm glad you came back! As a side note, I usually PM my readers on TDL when I update, and I was able to PM sfz, I couldn't PM you. I just wanted you to know, cause I don't want you to miss out on any updates :)

ok, as a general announcement, since it is Sunday, the day after the new chapter is released, I will formally announce the title of the new chapter. this will happen every week until the story is completed, which will probably take until Jan-Feb, so welcome for the ride, and I hope you stay the whole time!
*drumroll*

Coming August 2nd-
Chapter 3: New Terms
 
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Here it is, fresh off the fanfiction.net press! Once again, please feel free to review the story here and on fanfiction! I'd appreciate it alot. Thanks!:)

I've been so excited to publish the new chapters, I had to keep telling myself I had to wait til Saturday. I forgot to last week, and I apologize, but for those of you new to my stories, I always personally thank those who review on here, so-

Second Daughter of Eve- Thank you! You reviewed in April of 07, so my thanks comes late, but I hope you will keep enjoying my new idea

mrmistoffelees- First of all, I love your penname. I love Andrew Lloyd Webber, and Cats was the musical that introduced me to him. I recently recieved the collector's edition on DVD, so I'm really happy. Jemima and Mr. Mistoffelees are my favorite characters. Anyway, back to your review- thank you! I hope you will enjoy it.

Sailor Violin- I know I already thanked you and gave you the whole background on this story, but still, thanks. If you wanted you could even read more of Narnia: The Musical...haha.

If you review, and I don't include flaming, then I will thank you in my author's intro. I know you all have been waiting on the edge of your seats for a week to find out what happens, so here it is. I hope you enjoy.



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Chapter 3: New Terms

“We know, we know Hermione,” said Ron as he, Harry, and Hermione sat down for lunch after the first half of their classes the next day. “We’re still sticking with Divination. We see the loads of homework you get from Ancient Runes. We aren’t dropping Divination for the hundredth time. It’s an easy class, even if Trelawny is a nutter.”

“Hey everyone!” said a breathless Ginny, interrupting the argument. “How is your first day of classes going?”

“Fine, thank you, Ginny,” replied Hermione with an angry look at Ron.

“Why aren’t you with your friends?” asked Ron.

“Harry and Hermione are my friends too, and I was just asking Ron,” said Ginny coolly. “I’m sorry for wanting to know how my brother’s day is going. Don’t worry, I’ll leave in a minute.” She turned to Hermione and Harry. “Did you hear about Sarah McFlair, one of the exchange students? I just heard a bunch of Ravenclaws who had Charms with her, and she’s a Srib!”

“She’s a what?” asked Harry.

“I know that word,” said Ron, trying to remember.

“That’s where I know her name from!” exclaimed Hermione. Ginny was called over by her friends, so Ron and Harry had Hermione explain.

“I thought her name sounded familiar,” she said. “She’s a Srib, I read about her and her family in a book a couple years ago. If you imagine all the magical humans on a scale, as wizards and witches, we would be in the middle of the scale. We need wands to do magic. Squibs are on one end of the line, since because of their heritage, they “should” be able to do magic, but can’t manage very well. A Srib is on the total opposite end because they don’t need a wand to do magic at all. They are very uncommon. There are only three other Sribs alive right now besides Sarah. She and her family are extremely wealthy too. They live in Malibu, California in a 22-story mansion that is supported by magic so it isn’t affected by earthquakes. The entire estate is also protected against forest fires as well. They have Muggles on their staff along with wizards and witches, which is very unusual, since there is so much magic going on, but I forget exactly how they are allowed to have Muggles on the property. Personally I’m glad that they don’t have any house elves, but then again, the-”

“Get on with it, Hermione,” said Ron, rolling his eyes at her. “I remember Dad talking about Sribs one day, but I think he was talking about the one that lives in Russia.”

“Honestly, Ron,” said Hermione, giving him a look, but she continued. “Sarah’s father is a very well-known magic inventor, with potions and things like that. That’s how Sarah became a Srib. There was an explosion in his lab when she was two, and she ended up a Srib. Her mother also owns a famous hotel chain.”

“So Sarah doesn’t need a wand to do magic?” asked Harry, looking over to the Ravenclaw table, where Sarah sat talking to Luna.

“Wicked!” said Ron.

“Not really, Ron,” replied Hermione. “She gets surges of power as she grows that sometimes make her pass out because it’s so much magic at once. It will stop once she’s eighteen, but she almost died her first year at her school in America.”

With these thoughts fresh in their minds, the three finished their lunches and went to their next class. Walking through the halls, they heard snatches of conversation, which included some fifth-year Ravenclaws talking about Sarah.

“I wouldn’t want to mess with her,” they heard one girl say. “I heard that she has an awful temper, and she loses control of her magic easily. Frankly I’m surprised they let her come here if she’s so unstable.”

“And that look on her face,” her friend shivered. “It’s so piercing, like I did something wrong.”

Harry, Hermione, and Ron finished their day with Defense Against the Dark, and as they entered the classroom, they were surprised to see Sarah sitting in the second row.

All four exchange students were wearing their school uniforms today. Each robe was the color of their academy back home, so Sarah’s was a dark blue. Embroidered on her robe near the left-hand shoulder was the school’s coat of arms- a black shield with stars on it, a picture of a drop of water in the center, signifying her academy, and the silver initials U.S.H.M. above the shield. Peeking out from the robe’s collar were a sky blue shirt and dark blue tie. Her flame-red hair was pulled back into a short ponytail, and her piercing eyes stared at the front of the room.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron cast uneasy looks at each other before sitting down and taking out their wands.

(continued on the post below)
 
Class began with “Good morning Professor Umbridge,” and when Umbridge told the class to take out their books and put away their wands, Hermione saw Sarah smirking slightly as everyone put their wands back in their bags, then after a moment Sarah put her hands in her pockets. The corners of Sarah’s mouth twitched at a private joke before taking her hands out and retrieving her book.

“You saw that, right?” whispered Ron.

“No talking, please,” Umbridge said sweetly. “Please read the first chapter of your book after you have copied down the objectives of the course.”

“Professor,” said Hermione, her arm raised in the air, “I have read the book already. Are we not doing magic in class this year despite the growing threat of You-Know-Who?”

The class gasped and stared at her.

“My dear girl!” exclaimed Umbridge. “You are quite mistaken! Read the book over then, because there is no need to practice any defensive spells, because You-Know-Who is dead!”

And so a long and heated debate began with the class about Voldemort’s return. In the end Umbridge and Harry were going back and forth, but were interrupted by a new hand in the air.

Umbridge was startled. “Yes, Miss, uh-”

“McFlair, Professor, Sarah McFlair,” responded the girl calmly, her accent a combination of American and something else Hermione couldn’t put her finger on. “I was wondering if I could possibly say something from an international student’s point of view. Why You-Know-Who can’t be back?”

“Finally, someone with sense. Yes Miss McFlair, what do you have to say? And thank you for raising your hand unlike the rest of the class,” Umbridge replied sweetly.

Sarah turned around to face Harry and the rest of the class. Her piercing gaze reached all of them as she made eye-contact with everyone, ending with Harry. Green eyes pierced green eyes as she said, “Thank you, Professor. My point is simple. In America, some do not believe You-Know-Who is back, some do. However, we all agree that he has not fully died. I ask you this though- If there was any danger, why would your Ministry of Magic allow four students from an ally country here for a year?” Sarah turned to Umbridge. “That’s all I wanted to say, thank you, Professor.” Then she returned to face the front.

Umbridge’s toad-like face smiled as she looked at Sarah.

The bell rang.

Her head snapped to look at Harry. “Detention, Mr. Potter, everyday for the rest of the week, beginning tomorrow. You are all dismissed.”

Harry fumed as he walked alongside Ron and Hermione on their way to supper.

“Can you believe Umbridge?!” exclaimed Ron.

“And Sarah too!” Hermione said exasperatedly. “The way she acts, all high and mighty, like she knows everything about a situation in a country on the other side of the world!”

“I heard that, and you’re wrong,” said Sarah, coming up behind her.

I’m wrong?!” asked Hermione incredulously. “Look who’s talking!”

“Oi! What’s all this fuss about?” asked Fred as he and George walked up.

“We come to tell Harry about Quidditch tryouts and we hear you two,” said George.

“Umbridge just gave me detentions all week, and Sarah is on her side when it comes to Voldemort,” Harry explained angrily.

“Well they’re both mental,” said Fred. “But Angelina won’t be happy with you. Tryouts are this week.”

“And who are you to say I’m mental?!” yelled Sarah, her glare turning to Fred.

“Fred-”

“-and George Weasley,” George finished. “And you’re-”

“Yes, Sarah McFlair, the one who everyone’s been whispering about when they think I can’t hear!" Sarah retorted. "About my temper, how I’m a Srib, and how because of the two I lose control of my magic sometimes, and how I’m arrogant and I look like I’m about to murder someone, and now they’re all treating me like a ticking time bomb!”

“Hey, don’t go shouting at people you just met, and maybe if you didn’t jump down everyone’s throats, they wouldn’t spread rumors!” argued Fred.

“Well maybe they aren’t rumors, because half of them are true! And maybe I can’t help some of them!” Sarah shouted back before marching away.

“I don’t like her,” remarked Fred, watching her go.


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So there you are! Please review it! I am really interested in hearing your thoughts on Sarah throughout this entire experience, so please let me know. I will be releasing Chapter 4 on Thursday most likely, because technical reasons will probably prevent me from doing so the 9th, which is ok, considering I will be glued to the television that day watching the Olympics.

Haras
 
Ahh! So good! :)
My thoughts on Sarah... She seems kind of tempermental. But not in a bad way. She seems like a very complex character and I feel like we only know a tiny bit about her so far. It's very interesting how she interacted with the characters. And once again, I'm glad she's not being all friendy-friendy with the "golden trio", it creates the this tension that seems so necessary and that is not present in the majority of HP fanfiction. It's very good! :)
 
Ahh! So good! :)
My thoughts on Sarah... She seems kind of tempermental. But not in a bad way. She seems like a very complex character and I feel like we only know a tiny bit about her so far. It's very interesting how she interacted with the characters. And once again, I'm glad she's not being all friendy-friendy with the "golden trio", it creates the this tension that seems so necessary and that is not present in the majority of HP fanfiction. It's very good! :)


Thank you! That means a lot. I would love to continue to hear your thoughts on her. I like your reviews. And you only have to wait until Thursday to read Chapter 4!
 
I love it its realy gd, its an old story with a compleatly nr=ew twist and its really good!!

Thank you, and welcome aboard!
I never realized how hard it is to go along with an already existing storyline, how this is my version of HP5, until now. I've made some changes and skipped discussing some things that were in the book because they don't further the plot or anything.

Monday I will reveal the name for the already typed up Chapter 4! I just finished writing Chapter 7 today!
 
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