The Story of Mary Ann: the rise and fall

How does a person know what gift they have? Or really anything for that matter. I had been thinking about that a lot lately then one day I decided I was done. Done with impressing people, and trying to be the best. Trying to get into a good college, one I want to go to. Tired of picking out clothes to wear, of being judged, of being made fun of, of being ignored by guys. So one day I decide that I'm not going to do anything any more. I lay at home gaining weight, my mind is turning to mush, i don’t even remember what a book is, I haven’t taken in a shower in days, my parents have forgotten I'm even there, other than the stench. And yet it’s the calmest I’ve felt, but also kind of sad and alone. Even when I was stressed there was still people around me. But here in my room there are none. Sometimes I think I mite go crazy, or that I am going crazy, or that I’ve always been crazy. Who knows? I sure don’t since I cant even remember what day of the week it is. Tuesday? Thursday? Saturday? All the days are the same to me except Sunday. My parent, my now single mother, has said that I can give up on life as long as I still go to church. So I do, I feel every eye on me, judging me, saying look there is that girl who used to be something but now is a bum, hobo, retard, loser, lump, the list goes on. Its so hard to not just get out of my chair and run, but I stay for my mom’s sake. It’s hard to see my old friends at church all wondering what happened? What made her go over the edge? Of course none of them know my whole story, they probably never will. They know parts of it, pieces of the puzzle, most of it is just rumors some of it is truth. So hear I am to tell my story, The story of Mary Ann : the rise and fall.
 
Goodness, how sad. How can someone ignore something like that??

thanks. that really helped me :] when i write something i get this feeling like what i wrote is really stupid. so when you replied it was like ok its not that dumb. so i guess ill keep going.
:) thank you.

The sun is shining through my open window ,its hot as the center of the sun, and I don’t want to wake up. But I have to, another day of school fun. Ha fun and school don’t go together, ever. But that is beside the point since I have to do it anyways. I’ve never been to a real school. Ive been home schooled my whole life. So I don’t know what I’ve been missing. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go to school. My mom says I wouldn’t like it. I think I would, the idea of going to school is sort of scary though. Its not like I love to be home all the time and hang out with my mom, I don’t, I think school would be a nice change, just different. When you change u become different. Change > verb: an instance of becoming different.
 
The school day ends, after a long day of work struggling in math I watch my sister running around the house trying to get ready for whatever activity she has going on. I stare at her and my mom “ the clones” as I call them rushing around together. I just laugh to my self and go read. I sit in my favorite reading spot, the extra bed in my sisters room right under the window. Its really a mattress because the frame broke, so the only reason its still there is because I sleep there when my brother comes home from college. I love sitting there if you go there at around four-ish the sun comes in just right and it feels like your in a different world were you can be whoever you want to be. I decide read a book that most of my friends have never even heard of, and if they have they had to read it for school. I guess that’s the first thing different about me. I can go through three books a day. But hey reading never hurt anyone. I hear a noise from my window, I look and its my neighbor, who’ve I’ve had a crush on since I moved in. I sigh, then laugh, id never get a guy like him. Tall but not to tall, wavy chocolate brown hair that’s a good length, eyes that aren’t hard to forget but I always seem to. He has the funniest name, its Otis, I think his mom must have been knocked out after she had him, so the nurse named him as a joke. Well it’s a better story than saying his parents must be crazy. crazy >adjective (crazier, craziest) insane or unbalanced, especially in a wild or aggressive way.
 
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