My fourth Warrior Kitten's book: The Wolfprince's Revenge

Your writing is very good. It has improved, even from the start of this story. I can't even think of any corrections to point out. Good work!

MissReepicheep said:

Your writing is very good. It has improved, even from the start of this story. I can't even think of any corrections to point out. Good work!

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Thanks......
Hopefully I'll be awake enough tonight to type up the parts I've been writing in my notebook at school, if not then you can count on an update over the weekend- even if I have to make myself a post-it-note. In case anyone wondered I absolutely LOVE this story and how its panning out. I know I hope this about all of my stories but I really do think this one will be the longest one yet; I still have so much of it to tell and I really wish school didn't take up so much of my time so that I could write more of it. Still, it'll get finished eventually and I think you will all be very satisfied in how it plays out. After this book is done I might even actually go back and edit my books, far fetched, I know, but it could happen!

You're right to proud of it.

Oh, editing... The bane of all writers! xD

MissReepicheep said:

Oh, editing... The bane of all writers! xD

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Quite so.

You don't get to hear their war council because I think there are too many of those in my books and its harder to throw curveballs at people if you know the character's plans. xD You do however get an update tonight.



The small party that had left Reandalwo several weeks ago had evolved into an enormus army consisting of Sanga and Dottina's armies as well as the LFF Catlition and Explorer. All together there was somewhere around one thousand five hundred warriors, all ready for war and battle. There would have been several hundred more but Dottina had left some of her troops at Snow Country to protect it in the worse case senario.
The Great Army was led by the LFF Catlition and together they marched proudly through the land, making no attempt to conceal themselves. If Khain found out they were coming, well, there wasn't much he could do about it to stop them.

Mozart was walking along beside Sanga's "chariot", as he called it, and listening to the horses stories; they fastinated her and gave her ideas that she filed away for future reference and use.
"And so another great battle was won; not by swords and prowress alone, but by the small and quick minded." P'J was saying as he finished the latest story.
"So creatures like Mozart won the war." said Smokey musingly.
"It is often that way." said Hercy, "Young creatures like to hear stories of knights in brilliant shining armour that can slay hundreds of evildoers with one shake of their mighty sword. Yet in all the history I have ever studied that has never once happened. Those are made up bedtime stories for silly kits who have nothing in their mind but butterflies and dust. If they would just listen to the real stories, to what actually happened, then we would have less death, smarter young creatures and...."
"And more kits in school!" muttered Bee.
Hercy smiled, "And more happy endings." he concluded.

You put an extra 'n' into shining. xD

And I think it's a good idea to leave out the war council scene, because it leaves more tension and surprises.

MissReepicheep said:

You put an extra 'n' into shining. xD

And I think it's a good idea to leave out the war council scene, because it leaves more tension and surprises.

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Well I was pretty tired when I typed it up and I hadn't run it through a word doc yet so.... I fixed it though, thanks.

Exactly my point.
Though as I wrote this next part I figured out some of the things that were discussed at said war council and I think that they will add an interesting twist to the story.


“I wish I’d been able to imagine stories like that when I was a kitten.” Said Toto wistfully, “Our foster mother, Myrrh, was always very blunt with us though so we never thought that way. Myrrh was always telling us about what battles were really like; how horrible they were, how much death and sadness they caused. We never understood why she would talk to us like that until she sent us off on our adventures.” Toto sighed.
“Yeah and after that we were too busy trying to stay alive to come up with fantastical stories.” Joked Caspian.
“Yes, and its always you youngsters who creatures hear about going to war and they always feel so bad for them because ‘They’re hardly more than kits and yet they’re being forced to defend their home! How horrible!’ but they never think of us older creatures who have to go to war to defend our homes.” Said Bee, “Kits get all the glory, veterans, not so much.”
They could tell he was kidding around yet they could see the truth in the old dog’s words.
“So is that why you’re here? To try and gain some glory that would be normally doled out to us?” Mozart asked in an amused tone.
Bee chuckled, “Maybe so youngster, but you were at that council we had, you know what we have in mind- us old ‘uns.”
“Yes, and I’m still not sure I agree with it.” Said Mozart seriously.
“Well what better way to draw a wolf out? We won’t play around with him too much…”
“I just hope it works.” Muttered Mozart, “If not you’re going to be in quite a nasty predicament.”
Bee grinned at her, “You don’t think I haven’t been in those a thousand times before? I don’t have this sword for nothing, little Mozart, and you would do well to remember it.”
Mozart opened her mouth to defend herself when she was interrupted by Minna.
“Oh don’t chastise her, Bee. Mozart has a point; what if the worst happens? What if you’re trapped? What then?”
“Then I’ll fight with all the strength left in me and all the strength the White Cat has given to me and take a few of them down with me before I die!”
“I still say somebody should go with you if you insist on doing this.” Said Toto.
“Like who?” demanded Bee, “Who’s willing to go on such a dangerous (possibly suicidal mission) with an old dog like me?”

There was silence for a moment. Bee opened his mouth to finish telling them why it would be crazy when a small voice stopped him.
“I will.” It said softly.
Everyone turned to look in the direction the voice had come from and then they all stopped dead when they saw who had said it.
It was Smokey.

Chapter twenty
Bee’s Plan​

“I am not taking a cat with me! This is dog’s work!”
“I can act like a dog.” Said Smokey quietly.
“That’s not the point!” argued Bee, “The point is you aren’t one. You’re not coming.”
“Yes, yes I am. Whether you like it or not, Bee, I’m coming with you. I’ll follow you like a wisp of smoke wherever you go until you accept that I’m coming on this mission!” Smokey’s voice had risen to a yell by the end of her statement and they could all see that she was dead serious.
“Bee, I think you should let her go with you- it’ll be simpler than trying to stop her and at any rate I think the LFF Catlition’s right; you need somebody young with you for this mission.”
“Maybe someone other than this little gray kitten!” growled Bee.
“Don’t most of the stories say though that wars aren’t won by knights in shining armor but by the small and quick minded? I might not talk much but that doesn’t mean that my mind isn’t sharp!” said Smokey.
“My mind is quick enough.” Muttered Bee angrily.
“But you’re old, you’ve said so yourself. If something goes wrong I can go get help or think of a way to help us escape. I’m not going to chicken our either if that’s what you’re worried about; I’ve meet dragons, I’m not afraid to go into danger.” Smokey said stoutly.

Bee grumbled a great deal about it but eventually he said he would let Smokey come. The little gray she-cat was very pleased, it had always been her dream to do something important in an adventure and now her chance had come.
“Now I can be one of the great heroes who goes down in history too.” She had said proudly.
“Great heroes are hard to come by,” Said Jade softly, “You sure you’re good enough to be one?”
Smokey either hadn’t heard her or had decided to ignore her, but either way she did not reply.

That was quite good. Your dialogue is excellent.

But who's Smokey?

MissReepicheep said:

That was quite good. Your dialogue is excellent.

But who's Smokey?

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Thankie.

Do you recognize the acronym FSS by any chance? It stands for Frodo, Shadow and Smokey. Smokey is one of the kittens first encountered by Ribbony and his Catlition when they accidentally climb into Cogg's Fortress in the first book. Her first appereance, however, coincides with that of Cogg's; Shadow, her sister, is taken before Cogg and Frodo and Smokey bravely come to rescue her and are then chased by guards all around the Fortress. Missy finds them in the kitchen and takes them to safety. Later they sneek along with the force going to assault Cogg's Fortress and realize battles aren't all they're cracked up to be. Ringing any bells yet?

Smokey slipped silently out of the camp as she followed Bee. She had only a vague idea of what he intended to do, for as of yet she had heard only a limited version of his plan at the council when it was agreed that he would be allowed to do this. Bee had told her that once they got further into the woods he would tell her more, though she wasn’t quite sure he would be completely truthful with her when he told her.

Eventually the old sandy-colored dog stopped and slipped into a thick group of bushes, Smokey followed.
“Alright, kit, here’s the plan. I’m the leader here so I’ll do the talking once we get in. You’ll be posing as the daughter of my deceased friend who I’ve taken on as my own. We will…”
“Where are we getting into though?” asked Smokey.
“I was getting to that!” snapped Bee, “We’ll be infiltrating Khain’s camp as spies, that you know, I think. I’m an old war veteran, if this Khain’s a smart pup he’ll let us in so he can have access to my knowledge. However once I give him all he needs to know then he’ll probably want to get rid of us, kill us I mean. That’s when we put our plan into action.”
“You mean the plan you talked about with Mozart?”
“Yes, that one. Now don’t say anything when we get there, just listen- learn everything you can about the camp and the army in it but say nothing, not even if you think you can trust the creature. Remember that everyone in that camp is evil and malicious and we’re going there to find out their weaknesses and strengths and then hit them hard where they’re weak so that even their strong points will be crippled. And if anything goes wrong before the planned time then go and get help, got it?”
“Don’t talk, listen, if there’s trouble get help. Got it.”
“Good, now let’s get moving before somebody hears us.”

****

I apprently fail and not only keeping myself interested in this chapter but also at keeping others intrested in it- or at least not interested enough to post. Honestly I'm not either but school has been very taxing on me so my creativity level is waaaay down. I actually started to write in study hall today and then just stopped because I just didn't feel like writing it all down. So if anybody's still out there reading I'm sorry if my postings get slower and fewer, I assume you are/have been in school and know how hard it is (though its intensified for me because I've never been to public school prior to this, soooo).

Mozart the Meerkitten said:

I apprently fail and not only keeping myself interested in this chapter but also at keeping others intrested in it- or at least not interested enough to post. Honestly I'm not either but school has been very taxing on me so my creativity level is waaaay down. I actually started to write in study hall today and then just stopped because I just didn't feel like writing it all down. So if anybody's still out there reading I'm sorry if my postings get slower and fewer, I assume you are/have been in school and know how hard it is (though its intensified for me because I've never been to public school prior to this, soooo).

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I'm sorry that school is draining your creativity. That's no fun.

MissReepicheep said:

I'm sorry that school is draining your creativity. That's no fun.

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No it is not. However I found I had some story from before that I haven't posted so I can still update tonight.

This part and the next are interesting in a number of ways:


“Sir, there’s a dog here to see you.”
Khain turned to look at the messenger, “Dog? Do you mean wolf, you confused thing? There are no dogs left on this continent, only seadog pirates who raid the coast and they rarely go ashore.”
“Not to argue, sir,” the messenger tried again, “But I seen ‘im, seen ‘im with my own eyes. If dogs are rare then this ‘un’s a treasure alright; he’s old an’ says he can help you with your goal of conquest.”
Khain sighed, sometimes his messengers could be so incompetent, but then perhaps he was asking too much of the creature, after all it was only a rat.
“Fine, show the creature in then.” He said rather irritably.

Bee and Smokey were shown to a large blood-red tent with black streaks along its strait sides. On the top was a similarly colored red flag with a growling black wolf on it. Smokey shuddered, what an unpleasant place, she thought.
The two companions walked in. Bee dipped his head to the large black wolf who stood by a desk in the middle of the tent. Smokey had never realized how similar a wolf was to a dog, but as she saw Khain and Bee standing so near each other she could see the similarities; Bee wasn’t much smaller than the wolf, they both had the same kind of face and they seemed to be built the same way. Both of them also wore swords.

I finally caught up! Thank you for reminding me again; I really enjoyed it! Especially this part:

Mozart the Meerkitten said:

“But I’m tired!”

Dorthy sighed in exhasperation, “Gosh, I didn’t realize since you’d only been saying it like 100 times in the past hour! Get a grip girl! Tired doesn’t mean you quit!”
“But we’ve been practicing for hours.” Moaned Crystal, “And thanks to you and your stupid practice I have missed breakfast three days in a row! I’m hungry and tired and I want to quit. I give up.”
Crystal plopped herself on the ground and tilted her head up to stare at the sky through closed eyes.

Suddenly the white she-cat found herself jerked upright and staring into the burning green eyes of Dorthy. Fire flared in those green eyes.
Crystal was scared.

“You don’t quit when the goin’ gets rough, furball, but maybe they never taught you that in princess school. You’ve never been outside your pretty little Snow-city. I’ve ben everywhere. I’ve been from Reandalawo to Vengo, I’ve fought wolves, rats, foxes, other cats and many, many other things. Life taught me that if you give up when the going gets rough that you die. If I had given up all those months ago when I was a kitten locked in Cogg the Wolfking’s dungeons I wouldn’t be here bossing you around, I’d be dead. Dead, Crystal. Dead as a dornail. I have no idea what a dornail is but it must be pretty dead to get itself an expression. Get it, princess?”
Crystal nodded, but Dorthy didn’t let go of her pink frilly shirt.
“I asked if you understood, furball.”
“Yes… I understand… Dorthy.”
Dorthy released her, “Good.”
“But I have one question,” Dorthy sighed, but Crystal plunged on.
“Does life serve lunch?”
Dorthy looked at her and started to laugh.
“Not always, but I suppose it can this time!”

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I love the parts about the doornail and life serving lunch. You're doing a great job! And yes, I understand the school thing.

And I love your location.

Zella said:

I finally caught up! Thank you for reminding me again; I really enjoyed it! Especially this part:



I love the parts about the doornail and life serving lunch. You're doing a great job! And yes, I understand the school thing.

And I love your location.

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I'm glad you like it (the story and my location )! Yeah, Dorthy and Crystal were a pretty fun pair to write about and they got some good scenes. However there are plenty of suprises still left that I have yet to reveal, so lets get on with the story so I can tell you about them!



Smokey immediately knew that this wolf was Khain. She had spent her first two months of life as a slave to Cogg and remembered all to well the sinister look of the huge wolf and this wolf looked exactly like Cogg. Yet there was something different about Khain, something about his eyes; they weren’t yet quite as cold and evil looking as Cogg’s, instead she could sense something in them… something good about them.
Smokey quickly shook her head. There was nothing good about this wolf, she reminded herself, he had killed many innocent lives and was plotting to kill more. He was evil. Yet something deep inside her said differently, and that really Khain wasn’t so different from her or her friends.

She was startled out of her contemplations by Bee. The old dog had begun speaking to the Wolfprince.
“Most exalted Wolfking, would-be conqueror of Freedom Forest and the great fortresses Reandalawo and Meandrao, leader of the great Wolf Army. I humbly present myself and my young companion to you. I am Bendarel, great dog warrior and war leader of old and then a scholar of history and the arts of fighting and now again a warrior, willing to offer my services to you and your esteemed army. My companion is also, she is a young cat- a daughter of one of my now-deceased pupils whom I agreed to take on.”
“So it is true,” said Khain thoughtfully, “There are dogs still left in this part of the world.”
Bee nodded, “One at least still lives for you to see, though I know of no others who still exist here.”

Ooh, I hope this works!

“Ah! How rude I am,” Khain chastised himself, “I am Khain, the Wolfprince, for I will not be king, good dog, until I destroy my father’s killer and others involved in the conspiracy that led to his death.”
The hairs on the back of Smokey’s neck prickled. He was talking about Mozart! He wanted to kill Mozart!
“I thought Cogg killed the creature that was his bane as he was dying.” She heard herself say.
“Then you heard wrong,” said Khain, “As of yet the creature who made my father meet his demise has yet to be brought to justice. Soon, however, I shall take care of that.”
“From what I’ve heard your enemies had help killing the Wolfking, help from a being called the White Cat. Do you intend to kill him as well?” Smokey asked, surprising herself with her own words.
Khain looked like he was building his fury and getting ready to explode so Bee quickly changed the subject and shot Smokey a glance that said, ‘Shut it before you say something that will endanger our lives’.
“Pay her no heed. She is a mere kit and has little respect for authority.” Bee told Khain as he cuffed Smokey around the ear.
Smokey seethed silently. ‘Act or not I’m gonna get him for that later.’ She thought.

Mozart the Meerkitten said:

“Ah! How rude I am,” Khain chastised himself.

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He noticed?

Zella said:

He noticed?

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Khain is kind of like a teenage girl: he has random weird moodswings. If you notice he always tries to be respectful of his mother and usually listens to his more trusted advisors. Also note that most creatures have great respect for dogs because there are so few of them on the continent and usually they live long enough to possess vast knowledge.

At that moment Smokey saw the screen on one side of the tent being pushed aside. Another wolf, slightly smaller than Khain, walked out. Imeadiatly Smokey could tell that one, this was a she-wolf- for the way she carried herself and her slimmer torso were evidence to this- and that she was older than Khain. Gray hairs were dotted around her sleek brown coat and she looked tired. Her eyes were a hazel color and her nose a delicate (if such a word can be used to describe a wolf) shade of pink.

"You did not tell me you had guests, Khain." she said softly.
"I did not think I needed to inform you, mother." said Khain rather stiffly. Despite his reserved manner though Smokey could see he had a great deal of respect for his mother. His mother. Smokey hadn't known that such horrible creatures could have mothers. She had thought that they were simply spawned from the deep, dark places of the earth when evil felt they needed a new ambassador.

Nika's eyes flickered over Smokey and Bee, then back to her son. "Well then, while you speak to the dog why don't I take his companion and show her where their quarters will be?"
"That would be wonderful, mother." said Khain.
Nika rolled her eyes, "Yes, I'm sure you think so. Come along, kit." she turned to go, obviously expecting Smokey to follow her. Smokey looked hesitantly up at Bee who nodded reasuringly then turned back to Khain.

'Well this is just dandy.' thought Smokey as she followed Nika, 'I'm in a wolf's camp being led around by that devil Khain's mother, which of course also makes her the wife of Cogg. Oh fiddlesticks Smokey, what have you gotten yourself into?'