Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Slimer, who had a nice amount of money from all the royalties to the toys sold of him during the 80s, saw the Blob and decided to ask her out on a date.
 
"I'll be glad to go out with you," said the Blob, who knew that she needed to forget Godzilla and move on with her life. "Only, let's not go to any place that serves yogurt. I'm afraid that I might get confused about where the yogurt ends and I begin."
 
"Understood," said Slimmer. " I know a great place we can go."

However the very sight of them going down the street of New York was enough to send the people into the classic horror movie panic.
 
Suddenly, Copperfox himself, a man known for a projecting voice, appeared in the path of the stampeding crowd. Since this was his post, he could ensure that they wouldn't trample him before he could speak.

"Wait up, everybody! Panicked crowds like you in monster movies always run STRAIGHT FORWARD ahead of the monster, which only KEEPS them in the monster's path and within its view. Just move SIDEWAYS!"

The whole crowd looked at each other; then all of them detoured one block to the left or the right, and the panic ended.
 
Slimer and the Blob had a great first date, however the City Health Inspector ended up shutting down the restraint afterwards. The duo had so much fun they agreed to see each other a second time.

Meanwhile Gorgo's new "arty" film was in post production.
 
As part of the publicity plan for Gorgo's movie, ART critics were allowed to see footage from the movie before any MOVIE critics could watch any.
 
This meant of course that everyone for some reason wore hats, scarves, and hobo cloves even though it was 90 degrees outside that day.

"I really get the artists sense of pathos, "said one.

"it's clearly a statement of the artist struggle between crass commercialism and making true art," said another.

"It's about the feminine ideal," said another.

"I heard in a podcast on NPR that the director was inspired by Van Gogh's time in the sanitorium," said a forth.

"Please," said a fifth. " This movie was so bourgeois."
 
A sixth critic solemnly intoned: "In view of the multifaceted interdisciplinary juxtaposition of modal themes which pervades the quasi-methodical nuances of this movie, I estimate that the average dilettante viewing it will be inspired to sift through its non-chronological and non-linear phases of inference."

Only when he drew a breath did the others recognize him as the once-famous comedian, "Professor" Irwin Corey, whose act had been to deliver pretended lectures making no sense.
 
"This movie looks awful!" Manfred McMan, a burly, muscled, machete-wielding fellow shouts, "It's such a woman's film because it has emotions. Where are the explosions? Car chases? Hot chicks? That's what cinema should be all about."

He then belched and hopped on his harley, which he'd outfitted with a machine gun and raced down a suburban street at an ungodly hour of night while blaring his favorite metal band, Death Nuggetz.
 
Mister McMan was confronted by Achilles, Odysseus, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Cuchulain, Siegfried, King Arthur, El Cid, William Wallace, Musashi, D'Artagnan, Hiawatha, and Shaka Zulu, who were interested to know why he thought a strong man couldn't express emotions or be artistic.
 
PRESENT TIME AGAIN, STILL WITH MAGGIE-CHAN

“So you want Kiki-San to help you sneak into the ship? My sister doesn’t even like you. I don’t see how you can convince her.” Maggie-Chan was calmer but still full of questions.

“I think she will help me if you calm her enough for me to talk to her. And I think she overplays the 'not liking me' attitude.

“Well, she’s not happy about you, mostly because she is someone who likes control, who knows where everything is and where it’s going, and with you, she has never been able to figure you out. She doesn’t like that. Besides, when you get in trouble, who’s the one who rescues your sorry rear end and bails you all the time?

“You.” Said BK with a wily smile. “But we’ve know each other since we were 10. There’s no one I trust more.”

“She thinks you get me in trouble too much! Kiki-San is nice enough to you but I don’t know how we can get her to do what you’re asking.”

“I think she will help, said BK, looking in the direction of the D-pads. Because she will be the one making the plans and running the whole show. She will definitely like that.”

“How do you plan on pulling that off. She’ll see right through any trick you’d want to play.”

“I know, I know. But this trick may work. Say, doesn’t she like that tall pilot from Espaciales Argentinas? The one with the funny walk. What’s his name?”

“Sonny Ayala? He doesn't walk funny! Said Maggie-Chan defensively. "Just a little problem with his right foot, is all."

"He walks funny. Everyone knows." Said BK with a small laugh.

"I wouldn't laugh about him in front of Kiki-San. Besides, he’s both our friend. Why do you want to involve him? He’s a nice guy.”


"But she likes him. And apparently, the feeling is mutual, isn't it?"

Maggie-Chan looked at BK with strange eyes and didn't answer his question. “What are you getting involved in here, BK? This plan of yours is getting weirder and weirder.”

“Yeah, I know. But about Sonny, When is he due back at the spaceport?”

“He's assigned to a mining transport, the Kun Agüero, and it's not due back until Thursday, three days from now.”

“Sounds good,” said BK, looking at his writing pad and making some notes. “Thursday is good.”
 
Last edited:
Meanwhile, someone else was trying to influence Kiki-san: a man whose business was the breeding of riding horses, and who had found an unusual niche market for himself.

"Kiki-san, you don't need to be bothered with all of this intrigue involving spaceships. That's so cold and impersonal! The classic friendship of human and animal still is the best. What you want is to be a rebellious princess, riding away on a horse to pursue a solitary quest which no one adult and no one MALE can possibly understand. I know, I know, *I'M* an adult male myself. But it isn't necessary for me to understand your quest. I'm simply selling you the means to go on your quest. Think how much it will boost your self-esteem to be the ONLY person who understands whatever it is! You'll be able to spend whole days congratulating yourself on how beautiful and spiritual and brave you are, without needing to interact with any inferior people."
 
Unfortunately for the silly businessman, the horse deal would not work on Kiki-san for 2 reasons: She already owned 2 horses that she bought 2 years ago from a rancher just outside Riise, and the only quests she has time to go to nowadays are to picnics at the Colima Hills, where the view of the Achilles Plains, with the Great Gray Sea in the distance, is unparalleled. Her horses, Fletcher and Rolly Polly, live at another ranch, about half an hour by hover train from her home. She goes every other day to feed them, groom them, and ride them of course. Kiki-san is planning to buy a ranch in the near future so she can have more horses and maybe a few other animals. For now, her delivery business keeps her too busy in Riise due to the increase in mining going on in the nearby planets and surrounding asteroids.

On Thursday afternoons she can be found at the top of Colima, enjoying a picnic with a tall Argentinian pilot named Sonny Ayala, a nice chap with a handsome smile and a slight limp on his right foot. Known in pilot circles as "El Pibe," Sonny is very skilled at the helm, and is known to navigate tight mining crevasses at full speed without a single scratch to his vessel, something other pilots are unable accomplish or unwilling to even attempt. No one knows or remembers when he first came to live in Riise. But Sonny has demonstrated time and time again that he is someone people can trust and go to when in need. He's a good chap all around.

BK and Maggie-chan also come to the ranch three times a week to ride the horses and help with their grooming. They are also checking out the nearby properties in case they find something suitable that Kiki-San might be willing to bid for.

But there's one thing that BK knows that all others don't. He knows exactly when and how El Pibe first settled in this city.
 
Last edited:
A Mariachi band headed by non other than Tyrannosaurus Mex was roaming the streets of downtown Riise looking for paying gigs so they could buy some tacos. Having had it's application to join the Derelict rejected in the first round, the band had nothing else to do because Mex didn't make any alternate plans. He was sure Captain Obvious would let him in because the Captain liked Mariachi music. However, Mex did not count on Clovis, the dancing Chihuahua who was in charge of the entertainment. He had a preference for Polish Polkas instead.
 
Last edited:
T-Mex did not immediately notice the Chihuahua's interference, because at just that time a taco retailer was offering T-Mex fifty truckloads of tacos in return for a celebrity endorsement.
 
Inside the Derelict, Footylumpkins the Weasel was making plans to found a new settlement somewhere in a deserted or newly discovered planet he was expecting to find during their upcoming trip to the far reaches of the galaxy. He told of his plan to Smerdyakov and the duck said,

"Yeah? and what are you going to name it?"

"I'm gonna name it Los Los Angeles," responded Footylumpkins, proudly.

"You can't name it that, that's not a good name."

"Why not?"

"Because you just can't. It's a dumb name."

"Well, somebody named that other big city New New York. What do you say about that?"

Smerdyakov looked at the weasel with incredulous eyes and softly said. "I don't think you're getting it."
 
A minor crewman, equivalent to a Star Trek "red shirt," now remarked, "Captain, I see lots of fantasy novels in which place names are absurdly generic. For instance, Terry Brooks in his overrated Shannara series -- Northland, Southland, Eastland and Westland. If he can get away with such creative laziness, why should you feel any need to be clever? Just call the planet The Planet, and call your colony The Colony. If there are mountains near where you settle, just call them The Mountains, and so on."
 
Suddenly, a teenage boy who had joined the original "Monologues" roleplay five years ago, and had quit after only three posts, showed up with a new beard and exclaimed, "What? They went on without me?"
 
Back
Top