The Inquistion writes poetry! Quick, shield your eyes!

The Spanish Inquisition

The Spanish Inquisition

New member
Anyway, why not:


The Spartan Farwell


When I march out you fake a smile
Hide any sign of sorrow
For now I march that lonely mile
And I will die tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a day stained red
With blood of Spartan brothers
Our spears will break, the blood we shed
Will mingle with the blood of others

These last words from you I hear
As harshly you admonish:
"Only cowards shake with fear
Come back with your shield, or on it!"

Goodbye, goodbye my lovely bride
For me you’ll shed no tears
You will again be by my side
After many years.
 
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Loved it, especially the first and last stanzas. And I can't say that for a lot of poetry.

The last line in the second stanza might be better if your meter fit with what you used in the rest of the poem--some changes in meter can be a little distracting if you have been careful metrically in the rest of the work.

The historical details you included are great. And I really like the atmosphere of the poem--very Spartan.
 
Thank you all for the feedback. I'm not so good at poetry, really. it hurts my braaain.


The Sunken City

Sing me a song
Of a world long gone
The city that sank ‘neath the sea.
Sing me a song
Of the place I belong
The city you escaped with me.

Tell me the tale
Of that wild gale
That stirred up the city in fright
Tell me the tale
Of the wind-swept sail
That carried us off in the night.

Speak now that story
Of the city of glory
As a little boat rocked in the foam
Speak now the story
How it sank in the fury
Of the waves that carried us home.
 
Glenburne said:
Sounds very songlike--what does it mean?
Click to expand...

It's from the point of view of a child that escaped from the city of Atlantis with his parents when it sunk into the sea.

Here's a third one. It's untitled, and I don't like it very much at all....oh well.



If I died today

What would you do?

What would you say?

If I fell to endless sleep,

If my soul sank beneath the deep

Unconscious rolling waves-

If I were nothing but a grave-

A ghost of the friend you once knew.



Will you remember?

All those days,

That attic, in September

The first time you saw me cry

The times we stared up at the sky.

All the times we acted crazy

Or sat around, being lazy

Wishing we had more time to stay.



If I died today

I know this is true,

No matter which way

If I walk the shining street

With gold beneath my feet,

Or wither in a fire.

Forever burning on a pyre

I’ll still remember you.
 
I like "The Sunken City". You're pretty good. I can only write poetry that I like when I feel inspired and that doesn't happen very often.
 
Thank you, though I can't take complete credit for it, because I was infulenced very much by Poe's Annabel Lee for that one...


The Lover's Song

Just as I’m sure the world is round
And the sky pale blue
Even though I leave you now
I’ll come back home to you.

And if the path cannot be found
With thorns it overgrew
I will strive to find the road
That brings me home to you.

Even if I sink and drown
In Icy water blue
I will take a boat that sails
Straight on home to you.


The syllabals are not quite right, but it's close enough. I hope.
 
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Just when you thought it couldn't get worse than the Comfy Chair and the Fluffy Pillows, it's RHYME TIME! :D

Well done, actually. It hurts me to admit it ... anyone got some Advil?
 
There's a sad-story idea for you! A young woman knows that she could save the world if only she could finish a three-page story, but her brain is broke, so the world is destroyed.
 
Well, here's the first part of something I wrote tonight. I may finish it sometime..


I remember when sunlight
Could chase away all fears
Devoured deep dark shadows,
And dried a face of tears.

I remember when goodbye
Was only for the night
Then day would come and you’d be there
And all would be made right.

I remember where the fairies played
And where the goblins danced
I could see them from my window,
And stared at them, entranced.

I remember my adventures
When I sailed the seven seas
With a cardboard prow and a bed sheet sail,
I steered with expertise.

I remember sunny days
That lasted near forever
When I thought I would succeed
Whatever my endeavor.

But then the sun was blotted out
The fairies, limp and dead
My boat no longer saved me from
The wave of overwhelming dread.

This wave came upon me fast
When I was unaware
It knocked me from my small, safe boat
And tossed me in the air.

From the air I could see
Above the dark grey clouds
I saw the world beneath me,
Covered in sadness, like a shroud.
 
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