Ellapunzel

Aslan's Child_1996

Aslan's Child_1996

New member
This is a fairytale mashup that I am currently working on. I hope you guys like it! Let me know!




In the days of fairies and true love there lived a woman named Lucinda. She was an old witch of sorts and grew an herb garden full of rapunzel weed. The witch had a strong husband who loved her very much and together they had a daughter.
One stormy night they were awakened by the sound of an intruder in the garden. Lucinda's husband, Gregory, quickly dressed and rushed out with his sword. He found a man with a satchel full of rapunzel. Raising his sword, Gregory demanded the thief drop the bag.
“Please sir”, the stranger pleaded, “My wife is with child and she craves this herb. We are poor and can not afford any at the market. Please let me take this to her.”
By this time Lucinda had appeared behind Gregory and screeched “Never! That is my rapunzel and mine alone! Do you know how valuable it is?”
The man looked frightened. “Please, m'lady. My wife is desperate.” Rain poured off his hood as he looked up to meet her eyes. “Have you no heart?”
Gregory did not like it when others challenged his family. He rushed toward the intruder with sword held high. At that moment, a tremendous bolt of lightning crashed from the heavens and struck his sword. Gregory collapsed and the stranger fled the garden.
Lucinda stood still in shock for a moment before realizing what had just happened. She rushed to Gregory's side, but it was too late. The life had already gone from his body. Weeping, the now widow carried her husband's body back in the house. Servants rushed to help her, but she instructed them to leave her alone. When Lucinda reached their bedroom, she laid Gregory's body out on the bed and cast an enchantment over it. His body went up into the heavens and became a star.
The next morning, Lucinda began to plan her revenge. She was so caught up in the thought that she didn't notice when her two year old, Marianette, toddled into the room.
“Where's Papi?” said a little voice. When there was no reply, Marianette tugged on her mother's skirt. “Where's Papi?” she asked again.
Lucinda looked down at her daughter through tears and whispered, “He had to go away. But never fear, Marianette. Your Papi is always watching you. I promise.”

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Good? Bad? Continue or not? Let me know what you all think!
 
This has a more serious mood than I initially expected. Is the name "Marianette" _intended_ to suggest the _word_ "marionette" as in a puppet?
 
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Copperfox said:
Is the name "Marianette" _intended_ to suggest the _word_ "marionette" as in a puppet?
Click to expand...

Well, I didn't initially intend for it to be like that. I just kind of made up the name. She is just a girl. But I guess, you know, she does everything her mother tells her. So you could think of it like that if you want to. :)
 
In a quiet little farming village there lived a farmer named Nathan and his beautiful wife. The wife found she was expecting a child and the couple was overjoyed. When the time of the child's arrival came, the wife suddenly had an overwhelming desire for rapunzel stew. However, the young couple were poor and rapunzel weed was expensive.
“Elaine”, said Nathan, “There is a garden not far from here that is full to overflowing with rapunzel weed. I will go tonight and see if I can not get you some.” He took his wife's hand. “I promise I will get you some.”
Elaine smiled as she looked into his eyes. Nathan loved her and there was nothing he wouldn't do to make her comfortable. “Thank you my dear.” Then she lay down and fell fast to sleep.

The next morning, Elaine woke to the smell of rapunzel stew. But that was not all that had roused her. She felt it again. A strong push on her abdomen. “Nathan!” she called. “Nathan, it's time!”
Nathan ran to fetch the midwife and then waited patiently outside while the baby was delivered. It felt like hours later when the midwife came out and told him he had two beautiful daughters.
When he went inside, Nathan saw that he did have two little girls. The two were not identical twins however. One had blonde hair, the other honey-red. The blonde baby's ears were smaller than the other's, and their noses were a bit different. The one thing the girls shared was their eyes. Beautiful deep blue eyes that pierced your very soul. Nathan loved them with all his heart and worked all day to complete cradles for them.
Elaine spent the day thinking of the perfect names for the girls, as it was custom to name children the day after they were born. She had chosen one and was still thinking of a second name when night fell.
“It will be alright, Elaine.” Nathan said as he finished the first cradle. “You will think of the perfect name while you sleep.”
So Elaine put the one girl in her cradle and went to bed with Nathan and the second baby. Exhausted, the two were soon sleeping heavily. They slept so deeply that no one noticed when the back door slowly crept open and a woman in a black cloak crept across the floor.
Standing over the cradle, the woman grinned maliciously at the sleeping couple. Then she quickly scooped up the baby and stole away into the night. But not before leaving a note for the man who had stolen from her.
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Any comments? Thanks to Copperfox for being the first to leave a comment. It really helps me with wanting to write more. I might even do a story sometime with a character named Copperfox because I like it so much. Woud that be okay with you?
 
“Nathan!” Elaine's cry startled Nathan from his dream. “Nathan, she's gone!” Stumbling out of bed, Nathan joined his wife by the side of the cradle. His heart stopped when he did not see the honey-red locks of his daughter's hair.
“Where is she, Elaine?!” Nathan began to panic. Nobody had come to visit them, and he had seen their child sleeping peacefully in the cradle he had built last night. Pulling on his tunic, the farmer rushed outside where he found a note tacked to the fence.
Ripping it from its mount, he began to read and as he did so, the color drained from his face. The note read:

You stole my herbs and my husband's life
from me. Now I take something precious
from you. I really hope you thought it was worth
it, farmer. Do not come after your daughter or
I will have you imprisoned as a thief and
a murderer. And also, I have taken the liberty
to name the child. She will be known by the
name of the very thing that caused this whole
situation- Rapunzel.

Nathan shredded the note and put his head in his hands. He let out an angry scream. Elaine came running.
“Nathan, what's wrong?” she noticed the shreds of paper on the ground. “What is that?”
When he finally looked into her face, she could tell her husband was broken. Something terrible had happened and he could do nothing about it. A queasy feeling began to build in her stomach.
“She's gone.” A mere whisper escaped his lips. “She's gone and it's all my fault.”
Elaine took his face gently in her hands. “Hush. You did nothing except build her a cradle. Nothing is your fault.” She was surprised when Nathan pulled away from her.
“But it is!” He exclaimed. “I went to that Witch's mansion for the rapunzel weed, Elaine!”
Elaine felt her hand go to her mouth. “Nathan! You could have been killed! Why would you do such a foolish thing?”
“For you!” He sobbed. “I'm sorry! I went and stole from her, and now she has taken her vengeance. We can not go after our child or she has threatened to imprison me. Where would that leave you and our other baby?!” He fell to his knees and wept uncontrollably.
With tears rolling down her face, Elaine knelt beside her husband. “Nathan...” Suddenly, she felt the urge to cradle her only daughter. Elaine rushed back into the house and scooped up her precious baby. “There, there, my child. Hush, it will be alright.” Pulling her tight and sobbing into the baby's tender chest, Elaine promised that nothing would happen to her. “I promise Ella. I promise.”
*******************************​
 
So that was Lucinda who "borrowed" the baby girl, right? I'm waiting to see how Marianette will react to the new arrival in the household. I'm also interested to find out WHAT KIND of law enforcement exists in the land/realm/world where your story is taking place. Apparently the men-at-arms can be expected to agree that stealing vegetables is WORSE THAN stealing children?? :cool:

As for you writing about a character named after me, I would consider that a compliment. Years ago, some other young lady on this forum wrote a Narnian story, featuring a noble and wise Talking Fox called Copperfox. :D He was nicknamed "The Flame of the Shuddering Woods." She even created a graphic of this Copperfox for me, but sadly, my treacherous computer deleted it for no reason.
 
this is a good story so far and I really like it! It's kind of exciting--even though it's just the beginning you've already got a plot started, and it draws you in to the adventure. the mixing of different fairy tales isn't corny either (yet) and that's sometimes a hard thing to do. I hope the rest of the story is as interesting as the beginning. Good luck. :)
 
Copperfox said:
Apparently the men-at-arms can be expected to agree that stealing vegetables is WORSE THAN stealing children??
Click to expand...

Typical of the different kind of "justice" meted out dependent on whether one was a member of the aristocracy and gentry or the peasants throughout the Feudal System and, indeed until fairly recent times. If you had wealth you could expect far more sympathetic treatment than if you were poor.
 
Hey guys. Sorry about not posting more sooner, but we are in the middle of moving and there is work to be done on our new house, so I haven't had a lot of time to write. But here is another installment! Keep reading! :)


“Papa, Where are we going?” Six year old Ella studied the latch on her father's satchel that sat next to the door. It was stuffed with food, a change of clothes, his bedroll and a small pouch of gold. “Where are we going?” She asked again.
Nathan scooped his daughter up into his arms. “You are not going anywhere, sunshine.” He grinned at her when she tugged on his curly golden-brown locks. “You are going to stay with Carter's family for a few days. I have to make a... business trip.”
It had been almost five years since Elaine's death. The loss of their child had proved far too much for her soul. Nathan had raised Ella with the help of the family next door who had seven children of their own. He had always wanted Ella to meet her sister, even grow up together, and he could put this trip off no longer.
“But where will you go?” Ella's wide, blue eyes searched into his. He hated keeping anything from her.
“I have to visit a doctor that lives far up in the mountains. He needs a few supplies and I have agreed to bring them to him.” Nathan sat his daughter down gently on the floor. “I should be back in three days. Don't worry.” He grinned at her again.
“I don't worry daddy.” Ella grinned back. “You always are being safe. You'll be back.” Her way of speaking melted Nathan's heart every time. Ella got up and raced out the front door. “Goodbye daddy!” She called as she disappeared into the neighbor's house.
Nathan took his pack up on his back and headed out of town. When he had reached the outer edge, he turned and looked back at where his baby girl had vanished from sight. “Goodbye Ella. I pray this works.”
****************************************​
 
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