Tales from Mount Earth and Surroundlands

TheGardener

New member
Here's the intro/first paragraph of a new series/universe that I am thinking of starting. Does someone want to check my punctuation?


He said that he had been geocaching with some friends, when they had stumbled into some place with no GPS fix. Not even any reception of any kind. And that it had taken them some time to find their way back out to the land of reception and GPS.
“How long is Some?”
I asked him.
“Well… that is a story.”
He replied.
 
Here's a little bit more

They had soon come upon a clearing, that wasn't mentioned on the map, and saw a large mountain, where there was only supposed to be low hills.
The mountain that shouldn't exist gave them a landmark to navigate by, now that they had no GPS.
Then they found a tiny trickle of a creek, flowing down across one corner of the clearing, which gave them something to follow.
They followed the trickle, with the mountain on their right, until it was joined by another, then followed​ the larger trickle until it was joined by another​ tiny creek and a track.
The track eventually took them to a dirt road, alongside what was now a stream.
 
So they first were facing toward the mountain, but as soon as they found a stream, they turned to follow that. I assume that the road they found runs in such a direction that they never would have seen it if they hadn't followed the stream? I'm trying to visualize your scene as if I could walk right into it.
 
The forest would limit visibility, and the road leads to a different part of the mountain.

Anyway, here's some more.


After they had been following the road downstream for a few minutes, they heard a rumbling behind them. They turned and saw an ox drawn cart coming towards them from the direction of the mountain.
“Heading to the inn?” Asked the carter “Climb in. If you'll excuse the pun.”
Still confused by their new surroundings, and probably looking slightly dazed, they did as the carter invited.
“I've just been taking supplies to the mine, as I do. You been hunting? Looks like you didn't have much luck. Or are you travelers?
Tell you want. The innkeeper's a friend of mine so I'll shout you a meal for tonight, I can probably sort you a room as well. If you're hungry now I'm afraid all I've got is some of those nice nuts that grow near the mine.”
The carter turned out to be quite friendly and talkative. They however were still quietened by their new experience.
 
The oxcart driver seems unsurprised at the appearance of your principal characters. May I infer from this that he has met other people who look like your principal characters?
 
More that general travellers aren't uncommon or hunters as he initially assumed that they were. I may have been inspired a bit by the Palancar Valley in Eragon I think.
 
Then I hope that the driver's non-surprise attests to him having a _large_ world to be acquainted with. Too many fantasy authors will claim to have invented a _world_ for their stories, when all they've made up is two cities, one mountain range, one river, a ruler-straight coastline, and three islands near the mainland.
 
After an hour or so they arrived at a public house of some sort, presumably the inn. The sign outside called it The Mountain Crescent. It had a yard and stables to one side and a vege garden to the other side.
The carter parked his cart in the yard and unhitched the oxen. He seemed to trust them enough without tying them up. Then they followed him in. That's ​where things started to get a bit more strange.
“In what way?” I asked.
“There weren't just humans in the inn. People bringing their pets you might expect, but I don't mean pets.” He replied “But even the pets were strange.”
Such as what looked like a miniature taniwha that someone had sitting on their shoulder. Creatures that didn't belong not just didn't belong in this part of the world, but didn't belong in the real world at all, expect in stories, and others that didn't belong in this time, such as what looked like a moa but smaller, then his ecologist friend pointed out that there had been many smaller species of moa as well before they had been hunted to extinction. Other strangeness included the large, apparently English speaking tui that was singing in the band. So when the Bar Minotaur asked for their orders, they were hardly surprised.
 
The world I have in mind is definitely big. I am better at making worlds than plot. So the question is, can I think of enough plot to properly describe the world.
 
I know what a moa is, but what's a taniwha?

Concerning your plot: a story always involves someone wanting something. What might exist in this mountainside community that someone might want-- or, if already having it, might be anxious to keep?

Is the road which led to the Mountain Crescent a vitally important thoroughfare for commerce, armies, or pilgrimages? Is the town home to some great artisan or teacher whose services important persons desire? Is there a sacred shrine in the vicinity, or the tomb of an honored hero? Maybe a good old reliable buried treasure?


After an hour or so they arrived at a public house of some sort, presumably the inn. The sign outside called it The Mountain Crescent. It had a yard and stables to one side and a vege garden to the other side.
The carter parked his cart in the yard and unhitched the oxen. He seemed to trust them enough without tying them up. Then they followed him in. That's ​where things started to get a bit more strange.
“In what way?” I asked.
“There weren't just humans in the inn. People bringing their pets you might expect, but I don't mean pets.” He replied “But even the pets were strange.”
Such as what looked like a miniature taniwha that someone had sitting on their shoulder. Creatures that didn't belong not just didn't belong in this part of the world, but didn't belong in the real world at all, expect in stories, and others that didn't belong in this time, such as what looked like a moa but smaller, then his ecologist friend pointed out that there had been many smaller species of moa as well before they had been hunted to extinction. Other strangeness included the large, apparently English speaking tui that was singing in the band. So when the Bar Minotaur asked for their orders, they were hardly surprised.
 
Their carter friend then came over to introduce them.
“Evening Boris. These are some travelers I met on the road. Boris is an old friend, my Bessie is a cousin of his. She’s a talker but Betsy's a quiet. Bessie keeps an eye on her when I'm away though.”
“Bessie and Betsy.”
“By talker you mean…”
“My two hard working cart pullers by agreement. Bessie can talk… wait a minute. You must have come across the border. I remember hearing that there's one around here. Boris, I think they came over the border! You ask them about it. You're better at that sort of thing.”
“Did you stumble in from the world of Science and Electrics and inteynets?”
Boris asked them carefully. “Is it your first time?”
They hesitantly confirmed that this was the case.
“Humans do occasionally. You could settle down somewhere around here, or if you want to learn a bit more about the world, enough to be able to return home you'll want to head to town. Not just the village, the big town. Although you'll be going through the village on the way, my cousin on the other side runs the inn there. The Village Crescent, us minotaurs aren't very imaginative with names I'm afraid.”
“You might even want to go exploring.” Added the carter. “My uncle did that. Just don't explore too much near the edge though. Dangerous place is the edge. Beautiful but dangerous.”
“Are you heading on to the village tomorrow John?”
“That I am mate.” said the carter.
“John can give you a lift as far as the village tomorrow and my cousin can probably give you free board tomorrow night, new border travellers will be popular. If you need something to sell then your news will be a popular currency.”
 
Here's a little bit more. You can probably guess from my post in another part of the forum that I may be a bit distracted, but sometimes writing can be a nice retreat.
Here it is:

So they went with John the carter to the village and stayed at The Village Crescent.
They​ met the village school teacher, who turned out to be knowledgeable enough to fuel their curiosity.
“There are quite a few cracks between your world and this.” He said after he’d found out that they were not only travellers but new across the border.
“Sometimes our world has major cities or kingdoms near these borders. Such as Atlantis, or the famous Kingdom of Stormhold near your world's village of Wall in … what do you call it? Angleland?
You can learn more from some of the places in town, the little college, the postal guildhouse and probably other travellers too. Actually, I think they have a resident wizard at the moment, he can probably tell you a bit as well.”

Barry the innkeeper at the Village Crescent arranged their travel to town, after they agreed to tell a story at the inn in the evening, and said that his sister could probably get them rooms at the inn in town.
“The town Crescent?” They asked.
“She works there. She don't own the place.”
“The Crescent is a popular inn name specifically with minotaurs​?”
“Not just inns mate, taverns too. Our horns sort of make a crescent see?”
 
“So you come from Round World? Where 'Down’ is relative?”
They were at the college, talking with some of the teachers, including the local wizard, who was a part time teacher.
“Within the geography of your world, ours would look like a number of isolated cracks on the ball. In our world, yours is like a plate with cracks leading in. But the cracks have different relative positions in the different worlds.
It's complicated. More complicated than even I understand. But you may find that getting back isn't so simple. I've heard that the cracks might even move, but I'm not sure how that works.”
“There might be a school in one of the bigger cities that could help them.”
“Not likely. All the cities and little kingdoms in the cracks are usually focus on petty squabbles.”
“Maybe one of the Rim kingdoms then?”
“Possibly, but I heard that some of the kingdoms down in the near Surroundlands have big universities with real academic focus.”
“Rim Kingdoms? We heard of the 'Edge’ as well…” they asked the teachers
“The cracked plate is on a round table only slightly larger than the plate.” replied one teacher.
“And the table is called Mount Earth.” another added.
“The Surroundlands?”
“The 'Lands’ that 'Surround’ Mount Earth.” Was the slightly condescending reply.
They enquired as to why they had been warned against the Rim.
“Oh, you do have to be careful on the Rim, and follow safety procedures if you intend to go down. And obviously don't enter the water anywhere near the Rimfall.”
“People have been washed over before.”
“But it's perfectly safe if you follow the safety procedures.”
 
"You may as well head towards the Rim then,” said their minotauress friend at the inn that evening “keep both options open. Even if you're​going down anyway, you might like to see one or two of the Rim Kingdoms on the way. Just stay away from Krull, they're a sort of a pirate kingdom. They're not too close to here though.”
“How do we get there?” They asked.
“There's probably a postal cart going that way. You could even sign up as casual Guild associates. Some travellers do you know. Or internships. Just as an affordable way to travel.”

So they decided the next morning to go visit the local office of this Postal Guild that they'd heard so much about. They were given forms to sign and lessons and lectures to listen to, they were given maps to study, mostly local, and short tests to sit. Then they practiced sorting mail for a few hours with a basic lunch provided part way through. Then after an afternoon tea of something like scroggin they were given some time to check out of the inn and bring their bags to the guild dorm.
“If that was just to become casual Guild associates, then what does it take to sign up to be apprenticed as full guild members?”
“Oh, not much more to start with. You'd get more training as you go.”

They didn't have much baggage, having stumbled into this strange world by accident, so once they'd checked out of the inn they took a more scenic route around the town back to the guildhouse.
That evening, after dinner, they were fitted for their official Associate Postmen’s Boots. You could tell the rank and experience of a postman, they were told, by the quality of their boots, or apparently even by the strength of enchantment on their boots, if you had an eye for magical details. The true veterans for example had the privilege of wearing Seven League Boots.
The next morning, they had more practice sorting mail. In the afternoon, they sorted the real mail for their trip the next day. Mostly larger packages. The small stuff, ie letters, was generally taken by foot, apparently even for long distance
Then they remembered that the feet in question were presumably wearing enchanted boots.
“You probably wouldn't even need Seven League Boots for most inter-town stuff.” One​ of them said “When you think about how long seven leagues actually is...”
 
While they were sitting in the back of the mail cart, they had maps to study, of each of the cities that they'd be passing through. They would have to do some short local deliveries in each, while the horses were being changed.
They also had some more of the scroggin stuff to snack on, or trail mix, as the American member of their group called it.
They were given relatively safe neighbourhoods to deliver in at each city, although obviously they still had to split their group. They soon decided to make a competition of it, with the local postmaster being the judge at each city.
As they got closer to the Rim, some of the cities, and even some of the smaller towns and villages, started to look better built, not so much built just for war. The architecture spoke of both good defence and a strong mercantile and academic presence, as if military was still something to be considered, but wasn't the most important thing.
When they reached a Rim Kingdom Capital, they decided to stay a few extra days to see if they could learn any more.
They were given some similar information to what they had as already learned, but gained some new information as well. For example they learnt more about the rumour they'd heard about cracks moving.
“Not all crack borders move. And of those that do, not all of them move on both sides.”
Their puzzled looks implied that further explanation was required.
“In your world and this world. A border might always be at the same place in your world, but never in the same place in this world. Or vice versa. You might be able to find the same place again from here, but it takes you to a completely different part of your world.”
They also learnt a bit more about Mount Earth in general.
“Working together with the Postal Guild, we managed to discover the circumference of Mount Earth. The useful thing about Seven League Boots, from an academic perspective, is that when active, they always step exactly seven leagues.
It turned out to be thirty nine thousand, four hundred and ten leagues. Your world, the cracks and the rim.”
“Also, we calculated, with some estimation, that the height is about eight thousand leagues. Although some of our estimates must have been off, because we have learned from our surroundland counterparts that it is notably more than that.”
They also noticed some landscape artworks that were presumably of various parts of The Rim. Seemingly bottomless cliffs, and sea sized waterfalls that looked like they fell into nothing.
 
Once they were on the move again, they started studying the maps more closely, of the Rim and of the near Surroundlands.
The Rim Kingdom that they had just visited the capital of, had another major city sitting right on the Rim.

Eventually they reached The Rim. The road didn't descend from the middle of the city, but a little way out from it, clockwise along the Rim. There was a large rimfall to their right, further clockwise, a sea rimfall which when seen for one's self looked both more amazing and much more terrifying than the artwork they had seen.
One of them had to ask the question,
“If the water is always falling over the edge, then why doesn't it run out? What supplies all the water or brings it back?”
“Magic of course.” Was the answer.
They could see some white shapes down below.
“Are those snowy mountains at the base?”
“They look too fluffy for mountains, no sharp edges. Maybe they're sheep.”
“I think we're probably too high to see sheep from this distance.”
“Those are clouds….. probably quite big clouds if we can actually see them for right here at the top.”
No-one replied for some time.
Eventually someone said
“I feel like we're in...um... The Silver Chair”

They were given final instructions before they left
“On your way down you'll pass through the cliffhanger villages of Narrow Ledge and Ledge. Two of you will have mailbags for them, and the villages will feed you, the other bags are going all the way down.”
 
“If the water is always falling over the edge, then why doesn't it run out? What supplies all the water or brings it back?”


Always a good question to raise with flat-earthers. :)
 
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