Would you rather

A Christmas Carol. My sister likes The Phantom of the Opera a bit too much....

Would you rather read only extremely overdramatic Gothic romances, or only technical manuals?
 
W. It's used slightly less. But you really are trying to reak havok across the orld, aren't you? Young erner is going into the depths of despair, and he's blaming it on a girl, but really it's because you messed up his name. Apologize.

ould you rather be friends with Heathcliff from uthering Heights, or Lucius Malfoy during his Death Eater days?
 
Left. Don't ask me why, it's not logical.

Would you rather steal a sock and go to jail, or eat a sock and not go to jail?
 
I already know a couple instruments, so...a language.

Would you rather be tried for treason when you are innocent, or not be tried for treason when you are guilty?
 
PhD, as long as I could have it now without having to put in any more work. Which is, of course, not the point of a PhD.

Would you rather feel forced to throw away your diploma due to your university's horribly unseemly behavior, or have to boycott Parliament with all your kindergarten teachers watching while making loud and awkwardly personal comments?
 
Who is making the comments? Why would I throw away my diploma? Why do you ask such hard questions? The first thing. Whatever it was.

WYR be a Gryffindor or a Hobbit?
 
A Hobbit. I don't like Gryffindor.

Would you rather be a Polynesian cannibal or a convicted ax murderer?
 
Glenbulgaria! This has got to stop! Will you please ask more pleasant questions!

Convicted ax murderer, because as we established earlier, I'm innocent and love playing the martyr.

WYR go on a dangerous quest with an optimist or a pessimist?
 
Pessimist. The optimist would probably end up scaring me more.

Fine, fine. Nice normal question. Would you rather read rhymed verse or free verse?
 
I'm already Slytherin, at least according to the old Pottermore test.

Would you rather spend an afternoon with Oedipus or Clytemnestra?
 
Successful CEO, the latter sounds horrible.

Would you rather be a paid assassin or a public executioner?
 
Remember the nice questions, Glenbalrog? We don't want to keep them in the cabinet for special occasions. They're for everyday use.

WYR be a bald, perspiring CEO or dance in a grass skirt on a sunny beach?
 
The former. Wigs and air conditioning are a thing now.

Would you rather drop Freckles down a very deep well, or drop Freckles into a field of cacti?
 
Down a deep well. I have a feeling that there's a bouncy castle at the bottom.

WYR be unemployed in Greenland or dance in a grass skirt on a sunny beach?
 
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