Corrupt a Wish Game II

Granted! The fairy of sleep sprinkles stardust on your eyes and lips, and you slip into deep and undisturbed slumber... never to wake again. Thinking that you are a sleeping beauty, many princes come to your house and try to awake you with a kiss. But when their lips touch yours, they too are infected, and slump into sleep at your feet. You and they snore on until the end of the world.

I wish that the VDT movie would be close to the book.
 
Granted, but instead he sends his super duper unicorn squad....


I wish the keyboard worked on my laptop...(the one I am not currently on right now...)
 
Granted. It works so well that it begins typing on its own. Then it starts typing things you don't want to say and won't stop and keeps getting worse and worse until it is so completely out of control that the FBI comes and arrests you for giving away our country's secrets which you don't even know but your keyboard apparently does.

I wish it wasn't so humid.
 
Granted. To take away the humidity, all moisture is zapped from the air with my radioactive lightsaber. Unfortunately, since all the moisture is gone, it never ever rains again. Everyone in the entire world dies because there is no rain to help food grow.

I wish that my handwriting was neater.
 
Granted. Your handwriting becomes so neat that people mistake it for computer printing. When they realize that you wrote it, they declare you a robot, form an angry mob, and chase you into the swamp. In the swamp, you stumble upon some quicksand, and are sucked down, down--into Narnia. You land in a Marshwiggle village. The Marshwiggles hear you say, "At least I didn't suffocate," and they declare you a heretic. They subject you to intensive brainwashing which causes your brain to short out. You return to our world, where the angry mob finds you in your shorted-out condition and agrees that yes, you indeed are a robot, and your batteries have worn down. They try to insert new batteries into your mouth. You choke on them and die. The End.

I wish the university business office wasn't so far away.
 
Granted, but they put it so close to your house (dorm?) that that you can't open your door. You call the office to ask them if it can move, and they say they will work on it. Soon you get a call saying it can move. You walk outside, thinking its gone, but there it is, now with legs so that it can walk around. and it wants so badly to grant your wish that now it follows you around. So now you live the rest of your life with a university business office following you around, always two feet away.

I wish that I could meet taylor swift.
 
Granted,you get a free ticket that takes you anywhere,anytime.
But...
The train goes around 1 mile an hour,and the other passengers are mostly gorillas and Orcs.Not to mention a few stray Morlocks,and a pair of Ra'zac.
The conductor is constantly drunk,and you have to stand a few metres away to not keel over whenever he slurs something.
Not to mention the beds have bugs,the food tastes like cardboard with watered down soup,and some passenger who sits next to you is obsessed with the singer/band you hate the most,and is blasting thier songs the whole trip. :D

I wish I were more photogenic/prettier...*sigh*
 
Granted. You become the most beautiful person in all the world. You win every beauty pageant out there, bringing you to public notice. Everyone wants to be your best friend, and you have a million requests for a date. You soon tire of having millions of people monitoring your every move on the internet, and get sick of paprazzi sneaking up whenever you're trying to have private time with your real friends.

One unfortunate day, when you are out at the mall to buy a new cellphone, (your other one circuted out from too many fan calls) a group of teenagers recognize you, and mob you at once, begging for your autograph. Soon everyone in the mall gathers to see you, forming a riotous mob. You are smothered to death in the middle.

I wish that I could write better stories.
 
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Granted. You are named Poet Laureate of the United States. "But I write good stories, not good poetry," you protest upon being awarded the position. Unfortunately, your protest is broadcasted by live television. The government is embarrassed, creates some trumped-up charges against you, and throws you in prison for life. You are placed in solitary confinement, so you can no longer tell stories to anyone.

You are forgotten and found fifty years later, chanting, "So Goldilocks went upstairs, and there she saw three beds. 'Who will help me make the beds'? she asked. 'Not I', said the first little pig. He bought some straw and began building his house, when along came the fairy godmother. 'Why are you crying'? she asked. 'Because Snow White is dead', answered the first little pig. 'Then rub the magic lamp four times, and you will receive your heart's fondest wish'. 'What's that'? asked the first little pig. 'Jack and the Beanstalk'! said the fairy godmother."

And you go on like that in the asylum you are placed in, which is in Mexico, where you are forced to eat chili peppers and only chili peppers for the rest of your days.
 
Granted. You are the toy airplane of a very destructive little boy. Thus, you are smeared with mustard, dropped in the mud, submerged in the toilet, and sent to Goodwill. Goodwill rejects you. You are sent to the dump. The dump doesn't want you, so it sends you to Timbuktu. Only no one can find Timbuktu, so you circulate and re-circulate through the postal system until you fall apart.

I wish that my anthropology teacher wouldn't get upset at me for showing up tomorrow despite the scheduling mix-up.
 
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Actually, my anthropology teacher didn't pay me any mind...so, since I spoiled my own wish...I wish more people would post on this thread.
 
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Granted. Every member on the forum attacks this thread with posts. The moderators decide that the thread has gotten out of hand, and close it down. You try to create a 'Corrupt a Wish Game III', but the moderators close that down too. You go on to create IV, V, VI, etc, and they get sick of constantly closing down your threads, so they ban you.

I wish that I could read minds.
 
Granted. You read minds and discover that all the people who you thought were your friends really despise you. However, when you received the power to read minds, they received the power to see the future, and they know you are going to become rich. However, when you find out what they really think of you, you attempt to commit suicide by hugging a cactus. This fails, and you are placed on depression medication. The medication makes you hallucinate. You see a giant hippopotamus in your bedroom and try to hug it. It is not there. You lose your balance, fall on the floor, break your neck, and die.

I wish I wasn't hungry.
 
Food appears in front of you, and you begin to stuff your face. But once you start, you find out that you can't stop! When the plate is empty, it refills itself. You eat and eat and eat until you are about to explode. You remember that you still have one wish left for that genii lamp you got for your birthday. "Genii, let me stop eating!" you cry out.
The genii is so benevolent that he does just that, even though you didn't rub the lamp. But really, he wasn't so benevolent, because now that he is free from the lamp, he stabs you in the heart. "You got your wish," he sneers over your limp form. "You stopped eating." He lets out an evil laugh and sets out to take over the world.

I wish that the posts on this thread weren't so morbid. XD
 
Granted, but the thread becomes so boring that you go insane, think you're a piece of glass, and go around trying to cut people. Of course, you don't cut anyone, but they form a mob and chase you out of the city. You go to Hershey Park and fall in a vat of chocolate while touring their chocolate factory. You drown. Your ghost climbs out of the vat and chases the owner of the Hershey company for allowing you to die. But he is mad at you for leaving your body in $500 worth of his chocolate, so he scribbles "Kick me" on your back with his fountain pen. You eat the fountain pen and choke to death, even though you're already dead, which the genii finds very humorous. He laughs so hard that he has ruptures a blood vessel in his brain and dies. You are both reincarnated as guinea pigs and are put in the same cage. The little boy who owns you does not feed you, and you both die all over again.

I wish dirt did not accumulate.
 
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Granted. The genii casts a spell on the world so that all dirt disappears. Because there is no longer ground beneath our feet, the entire population of the world tumbles down into space, where we all die from either starvation of mutant octopus attacks.
 
Granted. I feel so mortified to have forgotten that small detail that I try to edit your post so that no one will know. The moderators ban me. I am so angry at this turn of events that I stalk you, figure out where you live, and murder you there. Your ghost comes back to haunt me, and so I commit suicide in a fit of remorse.

I wish that I could sing without making a fool of myself.
 
Granted. You become a world-famous opera singer, but you hate opera. You decide to ruin its reputation by singing "Figaro" all over Dufferland, but then you discover that you can't really sing on Dufferland. Devastated, you jump off Cliff the cliff into a field of cacti.

I wish the microwave wasn't on first floor.
 
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