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The Lamp-post It returns, the general topic forum, combining the general discussion threads from Tumnus, International and Wood between the worlds.

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  #41  
Old 04-13-2012, 11:27 PM
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fernshirehobbit fernshirehobbit is offline
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Originally Posted by ahyperdude View Post

As a whole, one thing I've observed is that it seems EVERY one of us has came on TDL and found a BEST friend. That seems so cool to me! I really didn't realize this before!
I value my online friendships as much as if they were "in real life" (a phrase that never quite made sense to me in this circumstance since all of the people I know online are REAL people...)

Also, I think that many of us have personalities (at least I do) that tend to find similar people to ourselves just as often (if not more often) online than off...

The friends that I do have, that I have met in person, tend to be VERY similar to the types of people that I befriend on tdl
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  #42  
Old 04-14-2012, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by fernshirehobbit View Post
I value my online friendships as much as if they were "in real life" (a phrase that never quite made sense to me in this circumstance since all of the people I know online are REAL people...)

Also, I think that many of us have personalities (at least I do) that tend to find similar people to ourselves just as often (if not more often) online than off...

The friends that I do have, that I have met in person, tend to be VERY similar to the types of people that I befriend on tdl
I agree! My friends on here are SO much nicer to me (and more respectful) then my offline friends :/
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  #43  
Old 04-14-2012, 04:01 PM
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After Hyper's post about debating, I asked him through VMs if he was serious about pursuing some of these threads, wondering if I could give him advice in advance so that he won't learn the hard way. He said that he does mean to check them out, and that he would not mind some advice.

I wrote out the following, and since it is long enough to take up three minimum vistor messages, I thought I'd post it here. I know that it is somewhat off-topic, but I hope you guys don't mind. It does, in a way, still relate to the topic, since I'm sharing lessons I've learned, right?


1. To quote Scripture, be "Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry". That should be self-explanatory, but just in case, I'll be more specific: Hear other people out. Even if you differ on one point, you may agree on other aspects of an issue, so don't alienate them by making a blanket statement that they're wrong.

2. When you choose your battles, choose your hill to die on.

Most anything can be worth discussing, but not everything is worth the emotional energy of a full-out argument. Don't risk friendships just to be "right". Here's an example:

In debating whether or not the Bible is true, that would be a hill to die on for me. I would pursue this discussion instead of just saying "ah, we have differences of opinion, let's move on." That doesn't mean I would be uncivil, just that I would press my opinion and make it clear.

If I was in a more subjective discussion, like about modesty, I could present my views and hear out others, but not get into a big debate when they disagree. It's not that modesty isn't important, but it is not one of a core basis of my worldview the way that the infallibility of Scripture is, so I could just graciously withdraw from the discussion when things get too tense.

3. Pursue grace. Even if you ARE fighting a hill to die on, don't be harsh in how you present your opinions. Without compromising your values, you can still be gracious in your response to somebody.

4. Only join a discussion if you know what you're talking about. It is always difficult when somebody pops in and has strong opinions but no proper context for them. For example, if there's a thread contrasting theological ideas, and you don't really know which side to take, listen and learn. You can follow the thread and maybe learn a few things without speaking up. Should you choose to speak your mind even though you're mostly uninformed, you may later want to take back your words.

5. Not every single topic has a black-and-white "right" and "wrong". While I am by no means denying the existence of subjective truth, there are some gray areas, and just because someone has a slightly differing idea does not mean that they are automatically in the wrong. Don't treat them as such.

6. A lot of the time, it all boils down to the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated.

I think that's pretty much it. I know that this is really long, but I hope that you'll be able to learn from it. I also hope that it doesn't come across as condescending. You may already know these things, I just want to make sure that you won't do anything which you'll regret.
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Last edited by MissReepicheep; 04-16-2012 at 02:24 PM. Reason: I clarified a point which could be misunderstood
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  #44  
Old 04-14-2012, 06:38 PM
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Thanks a million MissReep! These will definitely help!

Thank you for taking the time to write this!

I will take this advice with me, when I venture into those thread
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Old 04-14-2012, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by ahyperdude View Post
Thanks a million MissReep! These will definitely help!

Thank you for taking the time to write this!

I will take this advice with me, when I venture into those thread
I'm glad to hear it! You are most certainly welcome!
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  #46  
Old 04-16-2012, 01:30 AM
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My story is probably different than yours...but yeah.. Coming back to Narniafans reminds me of how I've grown up. I acted like a preschooler on here... bringing threads off topic and just being unnecessarily silly.

Ive grown up since then, mostly because I was forced to. My dad didnt like how I liked fantasy books. He said they made me immature. He was embarrassed of the fact that I liked "fairytales," so he wouldnt let me have anything to do with Narnia, Harry Potter or Disney anymore. This was years ago..
..And he still taunts me for it. The other day, he was talking about how I act like a baby and believe in "happily ever afters." Which is far from how I am. The thing that hurt the most, was that he accused me of actually thinking that places like Narnia, Neverland, and Wonderland were real, and that I thought that I could go to them. He was asking me if I was a nutcase..
I hadnt talked about Narnia for years, because he would make fun of me for it. And it made me angry, how he was the one who made me embarrassed of it... and then he accused me of believing I could go there. He compared me to my mentally handicapped step-brother, for liking Narnia. I had never been so offended, he insulted both me and my brother..

If there was ever anything wrong with me, it was never because of the fairytales or fantasy, it was because I didnt have a mind of my own and let somebody else change me so easily. I listened to everything my dad said, never questioning whether it was right or wrong.. I took my dad's emotional abuse, him also telling me that I was socially retarded and didnt deserve friends, and believed that I deserved to be talked to like this because there was something wrong with me. Nobody should take or believe that kind of stuff, and I think that when I finally realized that.. thats when I really grew up

Growing up never meant that I couldnt like Narnia or Disney anymore, growing up meant knowing right from wrong...

Narniafans, TDL.. has a lot to do with my growing up. Even though it was absent from my life while I was growing up

Last edited by Jadee; 04-16-2012 at 01:51 AM.
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  #47  
Old 04-16-2012, 09:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jadee View Post
My story is probably different than yours...but yeah.. Coming back to Narniafans reminds me of how I've grown up. I acted like a preschooler on here... bringing threads off topic and just being unnecessarily silly.

Ive grown up since then, mostly because I was forced to. My dad didnt like how I liked fantasy books. He said they made me immature. He was embarrassed of the fact that I liked "fairytales," so he wouldnt let me have anything to do with Narnia, Harry Potter or Disney anymore. This was years ago..
..And he still taunts me for it. The other day, he was talking about how I act like a baby and believe in "happily ever afters." Which is far from how I am. The thing that hurt the most, was that he accused me of actually thinking that places like Narnia, Neverland, and Wonderland were real, and that I thought that I could go to them. He was asking me if I was a nutcase..
I hadnt talked about Narnia for years, because he would make fun of me for it. And it made me angry, how he was the one who made me embarrassed of it... and then he accused me of believing I could go there. He compared me to my mentally handicapped step-brother, for liking Narnia. I had never been so offended, he insulted both me and my brother..

If there was ever anything wrong with me, it was never because of the fairytales or fantasy, it was because I didnt have a mind of my own and let somebody else change me so easily. I listened to everything my dad said, never questioning whether it was right or wrong.. I took my dad's emotional abuse, him also telling me that I was socially retarded and didnt deserve friends, and believed that I deserved to be talked to like this because there was something wrong with me. Nobody should take or believe that kind of stuff, and I think that when I finally realized that.. thats when I really grew up

Growing up never meant that I couldnt like Narnia or Disney anymore, growing up meant knowing right from wrong...

Narniafans, TDL.. has a lot to do with my growing up. Even though it was absent from my life while I was growing up
Very well written! I'm so glad to hear your story, and remember, imagination is never a bad thing as long as it isn't overused! You never came across to me as unordinary as long as I've seen you and you seem to match with everyone else here
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  #48  
Old 04-16-2012, 10:01 AM
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Jadee, that is a very tragic, sad story. I am sorry that you had to grow through all that and I pray that the Lord God will repair family's relationship.

Thank you for sharing with us. And thank you for coming back to us.
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  #49  
Old 04-17-2012, 02:40 PM
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Jadee I had no idea your father put you on such a trip just for being a fantasy fan. Maybe those of us in the hardest circumstances need stories like Narnia the most -- CSL remembered the stories fo George MacDonald as "breezes" from another world, a place somehow beyond this world, and that gave him hope that there was more than this world. People who are suffering and struggling need those breezes from another world to remind them there is hope.

And welcome back, haven't seen you in a while.
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  #50  
Old 04-17-2012, 07:59 PM
Mrs Gil-Galad Took Mrs Gil-Galad Took is offline
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Oh well.... I see my name is mentioned on here by a couple of people and I really thank you for this. But I am just me and nobody else.

In 2005 the first Narnia movie LWW was released. I went to the theaters and saw it. I searched for a forum to join and talk about Narnia. I read all the books and was excited. I stumbled upon TDL. I joined and at first I had a weird name. It sounded fangirlish because I in NO WAY felt for the actors (heck that would have been really bad if I did) and I admired the books character Peter for his braveness. So I posted just a bit and nothing more. I gfelt a bit out of place because of my age difference with most members. I believe I made my final post in May 2006 and forgot about TDL till something pulled me back. I started to post in October or something and there were actually 4 people at that time who had a big influence on my TDL view.

One of my very first friends EVER on TDL was GondorGirl. This amazing and extremely kind young lady liked my work and oh boy...I made her a LOT of graphics! I still have them all stored and I am proud of it. GG was young but in no way she rejected me because of being much younger than me. She kept on encouraging me to make graphics and kept on requesting things and my Graphics thread became one with the most replies at that time. All her posts were positive. And whenever I went away and came back GG was there to sent me a message and told me how glad she was I was back. This little girl (because at that time she was of course very very young compared to now 6 years later haha) had shown so much love and warmth towards me I decided to stick aorund TDL for so much longer.

Another member who ALWAYS have been nice to me right from the start was Truenarnian (Tsukiko). She also had shown a huge support right from the start. And she requested a lot of my graphics too.

Then at the end of 2006 there was a young girl who joined. A fellow LOTR fan and a Frodo fan and oh boy this girl had an influence on me when it comes to friendship. Fernshirehobbit has become a friend right from the start till today. Fernie always has been nice and kind and wherever I was she posted too and that was so funny because we spammed a huge lot of topics together and I even talked to her on video chat. That was fun and really cool. I am extremely proud at Ferny of the girl she has become today. seeing her as a young girl growing up into a married woman. There are no words to descripe my sisterly love for Ferny.

I stayed active for years on TDL. I just couldn't get away from this site and I built up so many friendships.
In 2009 I met a bright young man Sopespian and I don't think it took long before we became extremely good friends. he often told me his views on things and we started to pm, email etc. I was stunned with his cleverness and the way he acted. THIS COULDN'T B E A KID!! Yes he was. He was dang sure a kid and a very smart one. Mikester had not only a smart head on his shoulders but he also had a great sense of humor. Oh boy I never forget he complained to me when he was angry about a topic. Hahahha! I felt like a mother and an older sister at the same time!! I had to calm him down like a sister does and comfort him like a mom does. And he kept on returning to TDL and tried it again. Till this day Mikester is one of my most beloved jewels on here. But don't tell him or he will flip hahahahahhaha!

MrsSunflower is another member who had a deep impact on me. Her and I became very close friends and we pmed each other for hours. I love my Magsie-Chan and she knows this, don't you Magsie? Right now I am not much in touch with her because we both have gone different ways but I don't love her any less.

Through the years on TDL I came to love so many people. Our beloved Inkspot who is ALWAYS nice and NEVER act different than who she is. I loved that woman from the first moment I saw her name on the forum. because she is not just a mod. She is a member and a mother/sister person to all of us.

I have develloped great friendships with DannyDarnia, Pink_Cheetah, Skylasue (who is one of my most best friends outside TDL), Sir Godfrey, Benjamin the Lion, Tottyfruitty, Lonny, Zella (a jewel too), Aravis_K, Ilse, Lieke, Puzzle etc. I think I forgot names of course as usual.

In 2009 I went to the US and one of my dreams became true. I met Benisse and BarbarianKing in reality. That was a blast! I couldn't imagine we only met at a forum. It was like they were part of my family already. All internet limits felt away. Thanks to BK I have told people who are going to SoCal to go to Balboa (was that the name Mike?) beach. It is way more cool than LA area. And Benisse she did SO MANY GREAT things for me and my brother!!!!

Another member I love to mention is Protagonist/Captain Holly. Yes I know, many people might shrug by hearing his name but I develloped a real good friendship with him. He has shown to me often he is so NOT as people think. He is very smart and very wise and has a good head on his shoulders. I know this because I talked to him in private. Protag had an influence on my time on TDL too. He did care and did often ask me if I was okay etc. So yes there is a very good side about protag only a few members know.

So what else did TDL do? It is a haven for me. A place to come home and sit down and relax. Not to worry but just look at the topics and notice the same persons are still around. It is Narnia and people develop a crush and people get older and start real life. And then they come back again. The story never gets old and people keep on discovering Narnia again and again. And we all love other things outside Narnia and sometimes we get dufferish and sometimes very serious. It has become a part of my life. Thanks to TDL I have made real GREAT friendships and they all have their memories inside of me. I went through things and people always supported me and helped me out. How can I not feel any love or grow towards TDL and their members???? And age doesn't matter on here. We are all equals
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Last edited by Mrs Gil-Galad Took; 04-17-2012 at 08:03 PM.
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