What happens if you put anti-aging cream on a baby?

I gather so much more information from his statement! Observe:

1) Mt Doom is finally good for something!
2) Chocolate is fatal to magic rings.
3) It is not fatal to magic creatures such as satyrs etc.
5) Unlike other people - you - he does not overuse invisible text.
 


The bathing thing is such unnecessary information. Why include that? Just to make the rest of us envy the fact that you have chocolate enough to bathe in?
Also, I didn't really need that mental picture. So thanks for that.

Sorry, Sopes. It was a thing Mewsie's kittens used to do. Also, could you pass the soap, Sopes?
 
*decides to give Freckles an anything* *orders the anything on the Internet* *ships to Freckles* *Freckles opens it with great excitement* *anything is a homicidal tuba*

. . . .

I don't think this has a happy ending.
 
Tuba: Kill! Kill! Kill!

MF: Please don't kill me.

Tuba: Well alright. What can I do instead?

MF: *unrolls parchment* Learn the Marimba. Read Charles Dickens. Help with the dishes.

Tuba: That sounds fun. *does dishes*

MF: *sits down at kitchen table and reads Hard Times to Tuba*

~*-#HAPPY END#-*~
 
Learn the marimba. Read Charles Dickens. Help with the dishes. Anything! Please!

I'll happily learn musical instruments. I can quote way too much Charles Dickens already. The dishes are done. *eats dishes*

*decides to give Freckles an anything* *orders the anything on the Internet* *ships to Freckles* *Freckles opens it with great excitement* *anything is a homicidal tuba*

. . . .

I don't think this has a happy ending.

I once wrote a horror story about a tuba. On a dare.
 
You're the one who likes impaling things. Since when are you in any position to lecture me about being a little curious about legitimately gathered death statistics?
 
I'd be less surprised to see a story about a euphonium who killed a bunch of people for mistaking it for a tuba, which people always do. That'd be an interesting story.
 
Still not going to use Google Translate, though. I can use my powers of deduction. "eu" is good, "phon" is a sound, and "-ium" should just be a noun ending. It must be an instrument that sounds good. Couldn't wish for a clearer definition. Hum.
 
Maybe you should just google images. A picture is worth a thousand words, as long it was painted by someone famous. Or an elephant.
 
Yes, but elephants suffer from intense social anxiety. Forcing them to speak so that you can make money is incredibly unfair, and may cause permanent emotional scarring.
 
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