Cheese Whiz II

Let's put it this way--American chocolate makes German chocolate look healthy. Mostly because Americans seem to think that putting non-chocolate items in their chocolate is a good idea....

Actually broccoli can be really good, if roasted with olives and garlic. My siblings think I have a problem, but they're just a bunch of philistines. Roasted broccoli and olives is beautiful.

(Kant: No it isn't, "Beautiful" can only apply to things that are apprehensible through the eyes or ears.
Me: *kills Kant* *flings roasted broccoli and olives gleefully at his grave, after I have eaten all I want*)
 
Last edited:
But you have to put non-chocolate items in your chocolate, otherwise I'm pretty sure you couldn't eat it. Now I want to try a cocoa bean. Can you buy those?
 
*sighs* There is a big difference between milk and real sugar in my chocolate, and that high fructose corn syrup stuff. (But I like dark chocolate, so I don't even want too much real milk or real sugar....)

*buys a cocoa bean for Freckles* Eat up.
 
Now I'm just sad, but grandma is furious and throwing her dentures and walking stick at you.

Yes, grandma, that was wonderfully brave of you, and proves how much you love your grandchildren. Now let me carry you home and mash up your food. No, I don't mind any of that, since you defended me so bravely. No, I don't think it was a stupid thing to throw away those crucial aids: all the carrying and mashing up food will really tone my arms. I know, I know, you did worse labor when you were my age. Did you have to carry your grandparents around? Oh yes, I forgot, you were so poor you didn't have walking sticks then. It's not like there's trees outside where you could get any. Oh, that's right, the French took all the trees. Yes, there was a chapter on that in my history book... No, grandma, don't bite me with those gums, that's disgusting. Ou. Don't be mad. I need you benign and baking more cakes for me.
 
I'm not surprised, honestly....

Well, Dr. Byrne is not invited to any fun with my trauma.

*sends green eggs and letter bomb to Dr. Byrne's office*

Dr. Byrne never opens his own mail. You just blew up his receptionist. As in, the only person with the guts to psychoanalyze him.
 
Dear Miss Freckles (I know that isn't your real name,
and you should stop childishly adopting false names for yourself): Greeting.

You are talking about nonsensical trivialities. My field of study is neither food nor criminology, and I could care less about the connection between letter bombs and chocolate. Because there is no connection.

I suggest that you schedule a therapy session with me. I have a great record of treating people such as yourself who suffer from severe delusions.

In your best interest,
Dr. Byrne
 
I refuse to even address you, because you have adopted a nickname that is so ridiculous as to be offensive to any person of sound mind and good judgment.

Your letter bomb went to the wrong address. You blew up the prime minister of Germany. The police are coming to get you. You're welcome.

I am closely acquainted with the prison psychologist. If you are interested in contacting me through him in search of therapy to deal with your dangerous and irrational behavior, he can certainly forward any messages you wish to send. They will, however, sent by secure email. The prison authorities will have noted your violent tendencies.

In your best interest,
Dr. Byrne
 
I ignored everything that happened after the bit I understood.

I do that in day to day life, and it's been very helpful. :D

Dr. Booger said:

Your letter bomb went to the wrong address. You blew up the prime minister of Germany. The police are coming to get you. You're welcome.

The impostor had it coming. Germany doesn't have a prime minister.

Dr. Bogey said:
They will, however, sent by secure email.

:mad: Get a typist! (But not Cloaky. He's mine. I mean, employed by me. And paid. Of course. Fair wages. Completely reasonable wages. :eek:)
 
Greeting.

Of course Germany doesn't have a prime minister; you killed him. However,
it appears he has a replacement. If you google "Germany prime minister,"
Angela Merkel immediately pops up.

In case you were wondering, yes, your treatment of Cloaky is reprehensible.
He deserves a decent psychological evaluation to determine his course of future treatment. As he is an unusual person, such an evaluation is likely to encourage great scientific advances as well. I would be happy to provide him with a free consultation, provided he comes alone and is not armed.

I do not need a typist. Glen attempted to fill that position a number of years ago, and the experience was so miserable I swore I would never hire one again.
I am perfectly capable of handling my emails on my own.

Your court hearing is on a Monday, I believe. The police don't mind whom you killed so much as they disliked having to do the paperwork. And there was a lot of paperwork. Needless to say, they are not fond of you. I am, however, and I certainly hope that you go on to have some enlightening experiences with the prison psychologist.

In your best interest,
Dr. Byrne
 
Last edited:
I don't know what you are talking about.

But I will enjoy watching, at a respectable distance, as the police escort you off to prison. I feel that observations of this nature help us to achieve balance in our thinking.

I have phoned the prison psychologist. He is expecting you.

In your best interest,
Dr. Byrne
 
as the police escort you off to prison

I thought Americans use the singular with this kind of thing?

Nevermind: if the grammar in this happens to be sound, I can attack you on 20 semantic points. Or I could impale you, if I didn't happen to believe that this is exactly what Glen is trying to get me to do.
 
Back
Top