Prolixity on the Subject of Duffers
What follows may well be considered an essay on Duffers.
The author apologizes for the length but hopes that much insight might be obtained by reading the post in its entirety.
First off, I am not a Duffer.
Though not one of their number, I understand Duffers very well. I am related to a Duffer and most of my friends are Duffers, so if I did not understand duffering, I would be in a very sorry state indeed.
There are three ways by which to gain understanding of Duffers: one, to conduct research; two, to learn from experience; and three, to ask a knowledgeable source for an explanation of a certain phenomenon. All three of these are closely and nearly inseparably linked.
One: Research
Like any good scientist knows, if you want to learn more about a specific species or life-form, systematic investigation (also known as research) is the most efficient and proven ways of learning about said life-form. It was the desire to know, to search, and to research that prompted the creation of the search-engine, a device which TDL possesses. If I am curious about, say, the lonely banana (something which I have heard mentioned, but have no idea what it is, besides, perhaps, a banana which is alone), it is an easy thing to employ a search.
Using the search box located at the top right corner of any and every page of TDL, I type in my query (the lonely banana), answer the spambot-defeating question, and hit 'search now'. The search-engine responds with eighteen results. About half of the top ten results have either the word 'Duffer' or the word 'addicted' in the title (which I hardly think this is a coincidence, as most Duffers are addicted to duffering). I scroll down until I see something promising: the word 'encyclopedia'.
You are probably familiar with the word, if not with an encyclopedia itself. An encyclopedia gives information on several subjects or on many aspects of one subject. In this case, the encyclopedia is on Duffers and things related to Duffers. As it is entitled
The Duffer Encyclopedia, 2nd Edition, I assume that it is fairly up-to-date and well-informed (second editions usually are).
Since I have conducted a search, the words I searched ('lonely', 'banana') are highlighted in red. I scroll down until I spot the entry 'Banana, the Lonely'. Clicking the provided
link, I am taken to a post which explains what, or rather who, the Lonely Banana is. (Please note that I now capitalize his name; this is a result of me learning who he is.)
I have just conducted a bit of research on the Lonely Banana. I am still curious though, so after I finish writing this post, I intend to trot over to Glenburne's profile and ask her for a bit more information regarding the Lonely Banana.
The majority of the things I have learned about Duffers I have learned through research. Most of this research was done on either one of two threads: '
The Duffer Encyclopedia, 2nd Edition' or '
The Order of the Can III'. I highly recommend these two resources.
'
The Duffer Encyclopedia' is, as its name states, an encyclopedia. It gives (relatively) brief descriptions of Duffer Things and sometimes includes in its entries a short summary of the origin of the Thing and, in some cases, provides a link to the original thread on which the Thing originated.
'The Order of the Can III' is quite extensive (one hundred twenty-nine pages, to be exact), but
the very first post is extraordinarily helpful. It contains a list of Duffer training resources and in addendum "The Duffer Library: Archive of Notable Comments, Conversations, and Conglomerations of Duffer information, etc." The latter includes a link to "Info on Cheese Whiz" and two videos on how to throw someone off a cliff.
Two: Experience
To paraphrase an axiom, there is no teacher like Experience.
I have learned that many Dufferisms are invented spur-of-the-moment and have no meaning at all behind them. Duffers are known for being random; in fact, it is one of the most prevailing trademarks of a Duffer.
Interacting with Duffers may confuse you at first, but if you approach Duffers with the understanding that, one: interacting with them might confuse you, and two: Duffers are random creatures not to be constrained by time, space, or logic; then you will find yourself much less likely to be confused.
The more time you spend with Duffers, the better able you will be to predict their wild moods and fantastic habits. Just as one can learn a language by either careful study or immersion, one can learn to duffer by either of the same means.
Three: Explanation
Duffers are, by both nature and habit, friendly creatures. If you have conducted the necessary research and have yet to find a suitable explanation for something, they would be happy to enlighten you on the subject, whatever it may be.
If they themselves do not know the answer, they will point you to someone who (or something which) might. Some Duffers might whalesplat other Duffers without completely understanding the nature and origin of whalesplatting. In such a case, if you were to ask one of those Duffers about whalesplatting, they would either suggest that you look it up in
The Duffer Encyclopedia, 2nd Edition or suggest a Duffer who might be more knowledgeable on the subject of whalesplatting.
Just as one can be a fan of the Beatles without knowing anything about them, one can duffer or mention a Duffer Thing (which could be interpreted as an inside joke) without knowing the meaning behind the action or the thing. Just because you do not know what a whalesplat is does not mean you cannot whalesplat, but your whalesplatting might be much more accurate and timely if you know the meaning and reason behind the action.
Lastly but Not Leastly
Duffers are generally a very witty bunch. They vastly appreciate those who are also witty, but you should not feel intimidated by that or feel that you must possess a certain vocabulary to be a Duffer.
Duffers are very kind and gentle creatures and are not known for biting. Yet, like any other creature, a Duffer, when provoked, will defend themselves or come to the defense of Duffers in general. An offended Duffer can be scathing, so it is best not to raise their ire.
Duffers are very friendly and eagerly accept neophyte Duffers who can add to the extraordinary fun of duffering.
My apologies for such a prolix post, and I hope no one, Duffer or otherwise, takes offense at anything said.
The point of it all was instruction and humor.
