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  #281  
Old 08-07-2005, 02:35 PM
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Granted, but people assume because he is with you so much that you own him, and they begin chargin you for all the damage he inflicts worldwide. You are quickly bankrupted and forced into a homeless shelter for starving people where Sam follows you and eats all the food supplied by charity so you are even outcast from homeless places and soup kitchens.

I wish there were more hours in the day.
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  #282  
Old 08-07-2005, 03:30 PM
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Granted, but now that there are more huors in a daty you are so busy that you have no time to sleep and Stan the Cookie along with the purple hippos become your friends and they eat all your food.

I wish animals could talk.
  #283  
Old 08-07-2005, 03:45 PM
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Granted, but they talk about boring and inane subjects night and day, at the top of their lungs, so they drive you crazy!

I wish I could see the LWW movie at the international premiere in London.
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  #284  
Old 08-07-2005, 04:32 PM
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Me too! me too!
Granted, but an anvil is drooped on your head as you get Georgie Henley's autograph and you forget why your there.

I wish I could finish my painting.
  #285  
Old 08-08-2005, 07:15 AM
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Fine, but once you finish your painting, you realize it's ugly beyind all reason so you toss it.


I wish more people were on at 7:00 in the morning.
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  #286  
Old 08-08-2005, 08:35 AM
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Granted but its only they're 7 in the morning, and your family decides to move to a really remote timezone, like Alaska, and so you're always on by yourself......

I wish ham was more interesting...
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  #287  
Old 08-08-2005, 10:22 AM
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Granted, ham sings and tap-dances non-stop, making it the most interesting meat in the world, but it also endows it with personality, so no one wants to eat it, but it rots just like a ham would if you left it out singing and tap-dancing, so the world fills up with rotting, singing ham! Thanks a lot, WHB ...

I wish I had a popsicle.
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  #288  
Old 08-08-2005, 10:49 AM
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Granted. However, the popsicle never actually froze, so now you have a big sticky mess on your fingers. You try to wash off the sticky popsicle, but your fingers are stuck together! You pull and pull, and you can't get them to separate! So you do what any sensible person would do in this situation...join a circus! You display your new found stickiness to every little child with a popsicle. Many of the children now have a mortal fear of popsicles. The many dripping popsicles attract killer bugs, who like to play chess (and chinese checkers, but they usually can't get enough people to play.) They decide to take over the circus, and you become a finger-stuck-freak-slave. You spend the rest of your days in the service of these killer bugs. You wonder why you never visited a doctor.....

I wish I could get some more sleep
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  #289  
Old 08-08-2005, 02:12 PM
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Wish granted, but while you are asleep, you will have a dream about being the opposite sex, and you'll wake up to find out your dream has become reality.
  #290  
Old 08-08-2005, 02:36 PM
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Then you get to wish, EMS. (After you grant one, you make the next wish.)
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