Write a Note to the Person Above You III

Dear GG,

You certainly can. How about my being a ridiculously picky eater? You should throw the first stone. Come on. You know it would feel so good.

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

*throws rocks* *throws more rocks* You are now a cairn! Isn't it thrilling?

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Normalagainnose,

GG eats everything; it's time somebody took something away from her.

Cairns are supposed to mark important things; what are you marking? A grave? An ancient astronomical site?

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Glen,

Tests. I'm marking tests.

But cairn is a cool word. Thank you for putting it in my head. It's currently rotating at 60mph and around its own axis. What's rotating in your head?

Tiredly,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

American exceptionalism/nonexceptionalism, my notary stamp, shelf reading, whether most human connections are based on economics, an upcoming passport, and the fact that I need to do lesson planning when I get home because I am teaching my squirt of a brother The Divine Comedy. While trying to keep him from throwing toenail clippings at me. I have found that threatening to add participation grades of 0% whenever he does things like that improves his behavior.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Freckles,

I take it you have implemented that strategy in the classroom? Or just while sending anonymous complaints to the Ethiopian Embassy for no apparent reason?

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear GG,

No. People who lose glories will probably lose stones as well, and can't be trusted to hold them in the first place. *snatches GG's stone before GG can lose it*

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Glen,

Actually, you stole both my glory and my stones so I don't think I *lost* either.
*eats Glen's stones and glory*

GG
 
Dear Freckles,

Stop making snarky comments in Latin. It's upsetting Sopespian's mad buffalo. He can't figure out whether snark is ethical and it's giving him nightmares.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Glen,

You stop making others stand in for your personal disapproval of my endearing quirks. I don't know whether quirks and snark are ethical or not, but both words are quirky and cute and therefore I approve. We might not share a moral paradigm, Glen...

But just out of curiosity: What is the relationship between Sopespian's mad buffalo and yours? Do they know each other?

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

Our mad buffaloes are from different continents (Sushi's American, Toodles is Swiss) and have different life goals (Sushi--be creative or, failing that, destroy things; Toodles--think about ethics, write about ethics, and lecture other people on ethics). They sort of respect each other at times, but Toodles once made Sushi watched a video lecture on Why Kantian Ethics Precludes Smashing Up Dufferland. Their relationship hasn't been the same since.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Glen,

I expect a well-developed discussion of the buffaloes' changing relationship including causes of the rupture as well as implications for friendships in general by Friday. No less than 15 pages, Chicago style.

Or an enormous amount of chocolate. Also by Friday.

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

I don't do blackmail. Sushi does, though--that is, he blackmails people, but only for reasons that sound good in an opera. Toodles thinks that all blackmail is unethical because you cannot universalize blackmailish principles. I really wish he would stop reading Kant. Though the way he has stacked Sopes's bed with huge Kant volumes is amusing.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Glen,

I thought it a bit rude to ask, but you leave me no choice: What kind of evil mechanism works on you, then?

Sincerely,
Taches de Rousseur
 
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