If I Were a Mod (The Power of Blue)

A tree is a tree is a tree--
All piney, right down to the knee.
But it cannot wear boots
Because of its roots
And so it will never walk free.

(In other words, Lossy-tree...you are stuck.)
 
That was obviously a well thought out and nuanced estimation of my character. But I suppose one should not expect too much from a being that has to live in close quarters with squirrels.
 
What is this, the "Do you like the person above you?" thread?

If I were a mod, I'd ban you all for reducing this beautiful thread to impulsive outbursts of emotion, which would be a totally rational thing to do.
 
Hey, don't be so emotionless. Maybe the forum needs a thread about how well we all like each other. Then we can make a thread where we sit by a bonfire and sing "Kum-By-A". It'll be delightful.
 
Miss Freckles said:
What is this, the "Do you like the person above you?" thread?

If I were a mod, I'd ban you all for reducing this beautiful thread to impulsive outbursts of emotion, which would be a totally rational thing to do.
Click to expand...

Emotion is extremely important. Without emotion, we would not have the First and Second Defenestrations of Prague, the War of Jenkins' Ear, or the Boston Massacre. Draco the Greek would not have been smothered to death by the cloaks of his adoring fans. Also there might not have been the Dancing Plague of 1518 or the Tanganyika Laughter Epidemic. I repeat: emotion is indispensable.
 
Not to mention the defenestration of Jezebel, although not the auto-defenestration of Eutychus (who simply fell asleep and perished only to be awakened by a prayer --to his great surprise).
 
Eutychus:

Dear mother,

I had a very unusual week. I was auto-defenestrated during a service, and had to be revived. This caused great rejoicing.

Sincerely,
Your son

P.S. Yes, mother, I'm careful to stay awake in services and all that. You needn't worry. Worrying demonstrates a lack of trust and is one of your worst character traits.
 
I'm sorry, I can't tell if you're trying to write an epistolary novel or if the DLR are posing as a clumsy biblical character, possibly to earn sympathy. I hope it's the former. I especially like the postscriptum :D
 
Dear Miss Freckles,

Eutychus is an extremely naughty child. I don't worry about him, I worry about my bank account whenever I get a letter from him. I've had enough of "Mom I love you so much, will you please send me money" and "Mom you are wonderful, there isn't a mother as good as you anywhere, can you send me more money?" He would probably ask me to give him my first born child, except that he is my firstborn child. Incorrigible brat. That Paul owes me one for bringing him back. I don't even have the consolation of watching him fall out the window, because video hasn't been invented yet.

Sincerely,
Eutychus's mother
 
I love the story and want more while at the same time I'm concerned that if I get too deeply involved, it'll turn out it was the DLR writing all along and they created an emotional attachment that there is no easy way out of.

I'll take the risk :D
 
Dear Miss Freckles,

This is the 1st century, and DLR is not an abbreviation on any Roman coin that I have seen. There is DN for Dominus noster, and DV for Divus, but I have yet to see the face of an emperor marked DLR. Or Eutychus, for that matter.

He hasn't written me since that one ridiculous letter in which he invented a word to cover his idiocy. Even in that letter, he couldn't capitalize.

I tell you, that boy is bound for ruin.

Sincerely,
Eutychus's mother
 
Oh well, doesn't everyone join the latest sect in their rebellious phase? I wouldn't worry too much. Unless that sect becomes the state religion of the largest empire of the Western world. But I don't want to worry you unnecessarily.
 
Dear Miss Freckles,

This is the 1st century. Predict whatever you want, but it doesn't happen in this century, what good is it? It's about time someone around here was practical. You have no idea how difficult it is, living in a port city and trying to keep your son focused on the real world. When he was growing up, it was always, "Look, mother! the ship is going to Egypt!" and "Look, mother, what's that thing painted on the side? can I have one?" I worked very hard to keep him grounded. I'm not sure it paid off. Mothers are terribly underappreciated.

Sincerely,
Eutychus's mother
 
Dear Miss Freckles,

This is the 1st century. Predict whatever you want, but it doesn't happen in this century, what good is it? It's about time someone around here was practical. You have no idea how difficult it is, living in a port city and trying to keep your son focused on the real world. When he was growing up, it was always, "Look, mother! the ship is going to Egypt!" and "Look, mother, what's that thing painted on the side? can I have one?" I worked very hard to keep him grounded. I'm not sure it paid off. Mothers are terribly underappreciated these days.

Sincerely,
Eutychus's mother
 
But unless you're describing Eutychus' hallucinations, wasn't the ship really going to Egypt? And wasn't there something really painted on its side? Even if it's not the reality most people experience, it is someone's reality, and therefore real. Please don't enquire further into the 21st century definition of reality, though. Believe me, yours is much more practical.
 
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