Poetry: Duffer style

there once were nice little things called pinaclkehs
they were a mix between pineapples and monkeys
then all of a sudden they became demented
and now my left hand is no more
 
INTERNATIONAL LIMERICK
(A hum dinger in all languages)

Hmm hmm HMM hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm HMM hmm
Hmm hmm HMM hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm HMM hmm
Dum de DUM de dum DUM
Rum te TUM te tum TUM
Hmm hmm HMM hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm HMM hmm

-- John Burkitt (Chakal)
 
There once was a man from Belize,
Who dreamed he was itching from fleas,
He woke up in bed
To find on his head
Luckily, only some bees!
:eek:
 
Flies are curious creatures,
They have some unusual features,
They come when its hot
They dodge from a swat,
And sip up dripped pop on the bleachers.
 
im winning im winning im winning
bow to me you must
im winning im winning im winning
the world will turn to dust



*poem from the LPG*
 
i really need to type up this really weird and random poem called Ode to Duffers but im to lazy

if you like soup,
than you will be happy
if its like goop,
u will not be happy


this is a song that everyone can sing
lalalalalalalalala
this is a song that nobody can understand
lalalalalalalalala
this is a random song for you
lalalalalalalalalala
this is a song to inspire you to write a song for me
lalalalalalalalalala
this is a song for those who are random
lalalalalalalalalala
this is a song that needs to stop
lalalalalalalalalala
 
This is a really long stupid(and random) one I wrote a really long time ago,and I'm bored so I'll post it. :D

There are monsters under my bed,
And lizards in my locker,
I would tell my mother,
But I simply don't want to shock her.

I would tell my dad,
But he'd just laugh and say
"Don't lie,Georgie may!"
So I can't tell him,rather sad.

There's noone else I could tell,
Except maybe my brother,though he does smell.
So I told big bro,
All he said was "So?"

My family is not on the telling list,
Meanwhile the lizards are eating my books.
I try to tell them to go away,I shake my fist.
But they WON'T,their being such crooks!

Finally I told my best mate
Her name is Kate
We decided to just KICK them out
Kate said I shouldn't just mope and pout.

So we got some gloves and protective gear
And some paper towels so our visors don't smear
When the lizards spit all over our gear.
So then we went to my locker.

The state it was in,A horrible shocker!
We used our tongs
And we tried to calm them by singing some songs
Finally we got the lizards out of my locker!

Then Kate and me went to my room
We used a vacuum that went "vroom vroom"
To get the monsters out from under my bed.
We tried our hardest,we didn't win.

And you know,those monsters have the worst grin!
Kate said she had to go
So I had to sew
A big big bag.

This big big bag,I filled with food.
Then when the monsters were in the mood
To eat they'd go,and get trapped in the sack!
Then I'd get my bed back!

I tried,this did it!
Now the problem was to get the sack outside
It was soo hard,I almost quit.
But finally I got the bag out,the monsters flew wide.

As I watched the monsters fly
I thought with a sigh
"Now I have nothing to do!"
But y'know,soon I'll have something new...
:rolleyes: :cool: :eek:
 
This inspiring little ditty was written on an E-mail forwarded quiz after I'd been picking pickles, which have stupid little spikes all over them that stick to my hands and hurt. I love all this random poetry! Next thing you know, we'll have created a book.

Picking pickles

A quandry
why can't pickles
be more like laundry?
But they prickle,
and stick to me
unlike socks
which I don't see
when they're eaten
by my washer
Oh golly and gosher,
why can't pickles
be more like socks?
Then for two nickles,
they'd be gone with the knocks.

P.S. I was very proud of this random poem because I actually rhymed the word quandary, and it sort of made sense.
 
Last edited:
A thread with three pages,
sits on here and ages
when people forget how to rhyme.
I'm still on here writing
my poems so exciting,
Come on, you wont use too much time!
 
Ok, I'm here, I'm thinking quite fast
For am I writing a poem at last!
I'm making this up off the top of my mind
This poem has no point, but so far it's rhymed.
That's a good thing, of that I am pretty sure
it makes more sense than iambic pentameter!
Ok, that is all, my poem is finished,
The point of it has long since diminished.
 
How sad! nobody is posting random poetry! c'mon duffers, I'm disappointed in all of you. (unless, of course, you have already posted here, then you rock!)
 
Another last post game poem!

Writing down simply: "I will win"
Makes me bored as I post again,
I'll post this instead, and still be ahead,
(Though poems are the last post "has beens")

P.S. I wish poems were more frequent on the last post game! It would liven things up...
 
This is a poem I made up about Hagrid when I was very annoyed with him. I think it was after I watched Chamber of Secrets. That movie ends with a really bizarre and uncalled for Hagrid love fest. NOT my cup of tea. Anyhow, here's the random poem which is the theme song of The I Hate Hagrid Club:

We all know that Hagrid stinks
To trouble he has many links
This club won’t cry if he’s bumped off,
We’ll hide our laughs inside a cough.

The first book, his accent bad,
Hagrid’s big part made us sad,
Unwitting spy for you-know-who!
Made us all shout,“oh boo to you!”

In the second movie, oh!
Hagrid haters filled with woe,
Just almost puked when Snape joined in
The love fest meant for Hagrid. Him!

Though it had Lupin inside
The third book made us all cry
When Hagrid, densest wizard there
Was just handed a teachers chair!

Oh, the fourth book made us hope,
Hagrid’s down a slippery slope,
But of course, sacking him was out,
Although his skrewts made Rita shout.

In the fifth book we all cheered,
When Hagrid just disappeared!
Of course, he did come back all right,
But then he went out of our sight!

In the sixth book…now we know!
The death,( not Hagrid’s) caused us woe.
We cried and screamed at Snape the foul,
And rolled our eyes at Hagrid’s howl.

Disclaimer: No offense intended to Hagrid lovers. You have a valid opinion, I just don't like Hagrid.
 
multiplication is vexation
division is as bad
the rule of three perplexes me
and fractions drive me mad

or HP version

Transfiguration is vexation
dvination is as bad
Herbology perplexes me
and potions drive me mad

how true for both how true
 
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