My fourth Warrior Kitten's book: The Wolfprince's Revenge

Mozart the Meerkitten said:

Screaming filled the air. It was not joyful screaming either- it was the angry yowls of young cats fighting.

Click to expand...

If you rephrased that to "it was not joyful screaming, but the angry yowls of young cats fighting", it might read better.

One of the cats fighting was a young tom called Archie. He had orange fur with reddish spots and brown eyes

Click to expand...

His orange fur has brown eyes? A comma would help clarify the sentence, like this: "He had orange fur with reddish spots, and brown eyes."

I pity those who underestimate Mozart in a fight.

Zella said:

I'm enjoying this one already!!! You're doing a good job. Keep it up! I must admit that I'm hoping Khain will reform, but I'm kind of doubting that will happen.



I agree. Isn't it strange the way that works?



I don't think you need both "she said," and "asked his mother" unless you divide it into two sentences.



If it's on top of a hill, how can there be a river running through it? Could there maybe be a spring at one end instead?



I can't wait till he meets Mozart.

Click to expand...

Thanks. I've been throwing it back and forth whether I want Khain to reform or not (I kinda like him, haha) and it would definately clear up the ending. And it would make sense for... well I suppose I can't say anything about that yet...

Yes, it is... Villians are so interesting. xD

No, the river's course was changed thousands of years ago by beavers when Reandalawo was built so that acounts for some of it. The rest of it is that the River that flows through Reandalawo is a very weird river; it originates in Sinking Swamp, flows through Dark Tunnel as the Deathtrap river and loops back around through the Desert's edge and into Freedom Forest. From there it loops around into Reandalawo. *cough* Or that's what one of my maps say. I was apprently rather inconsistant with them well I didn't exactly like everything on the map for Fire Kitten anyway, so... haha.

Oh, yes- Khain will get a very interesting suprise then, trust me.

MissReepicheep said:

If you rephrased that to "it was not joyful screaming, but the angry yowls of young cats fighting", it might read better.


His orange fur has brown eyes? A comma would help clarify the sentence, like this: "He had orange fur with reddish spots, and brown eyes."

I pity those who underestimate Mozart in a fight.

Click to expand...

Hmm, yes, it would be odd for his fur to have eyes. *goes off to edit things*

Ah, yes, Mozart is a very formidable foe, even if she's tiny! Haha....

Okay, here's your comic relief; Dorthy conducting a trial.



“Archie Longfur,” Dorthy called loudly into the miniature courtroom, “You have been accused of many heinous crimes over the past few months and as they came to the attention of the LFF Catlition we sought to remedy the situation, but no. You had to keep going on being all bad and rad with your peers, didn’t you? Even after you grew up you didn’t stop! You insulted and beat up Tansy and Pumpkin! You poisoned the food to make everybody fall asleep so that you could destroy the Meeting Hall with rotten fruit! When that failed you started to play tricks on the nearsighted elders, making them think they saw ghosts and angels and that they were dying! And you scare the little creatures every night with terribible stories! Have you anything to say for yerself, you lousy worm eater?”

Mozart stifled a giggle at her sister’s tirade.
‘Like mentor like apprentice! I knew that her getting trained by Dora would show to be entertaining one day. And she’s absolutely great at court too!’ as they waited for Archie’s response Mozart whispered to Fireheart next to her.
“Well we certainly ‘ave found Dorthy’s profession, eh?”
Fireheart grinned, “Yep, she’s good at it she is! I’m glad too, ‘cause otherwise I’d be up there standing up for my sisters- and I’m not near as good at that stuff as Dorthy is!”
“I know what you mean.” Said Mozart as she watched Archie stutter for an answer.

Archie’s “lawyer” (who was actually his older brother) stood up to defend his client, but was stopped by Dorthy’s upraised paw.
“I want Archie to answer by himself.” She said.

“I’m… Sorry?” he suggested weakly.
“‘Sorry’ doesn’t cut it bucko!” Dorthy said, glaring at him, “If you have nothing to say for yourself then I sentence you to dish duty for a whole year for all three meals a day! And you have to wear this!” she drew out a bright orange shirt with green stripes.
“Are you colorblind furball?!?” squeaked Archie, “I wouldn’t be seen dead in that!”
Dorthy narrowed her eyes at him and tapped the end of her bow.
“That can be arranged.” She growled.
“Alright,” Toto intervened, “How about we sun-fade it?” he suggested, “Then at least it’d be less bright.”
“No compromising with the accused Toto! Didn’t you read the judge’s manual Dora wrote?” Dorthy said severely.
“O-o-okay! That’s great! Case closed I say! Does the jury agree?” Mozart asked.
There was a quick mutter of agreement from the assembled creatures. Dorthy tied Archie’s paws together and led him out to the small jail adjacent to Reandalawo.

Little did the kittens know that soon they would have more to deal with than unruly cat teenagers.

Mozart the Meerkitten said:

Okay, here's your comic relief; Dorthy conducting a trial.

Chapter five
Kit Trial​

“Archie Longfur,” Dorthy called loudly into the miniature courtroom, “You have been accused of many heinous crimes over the past few months and as they came to the attention of the LFF Catlition(comma) we sought to remedy the situation, but no. You had to keep going on being all bad and rad with your peers, didn’t you? Even after you grew up(comma) you didn’t stop! You insulted and beat up Tansy and Pumpkin! You poisoned the food to make everybody fall asleep so that you could destroy the Meeting Hall with rotten fruit! When that failed(comma) you started to play tricks on the nearsighted elders, making them think they saw ghosts and angels and that they were dying! And you scare the little creatures every night with terribible stories! Have you anything to say for yerself, you lousy worm eater?”

Click to expand...

If you add in the commas, it will make her tirade easier to read.

“No compromising with the accused Toto!"

Click to expand...

You need a comma here. Is Toto the one accused? It should be "No compromising with the accused, Toto."

I like this scene. Dorthy is hilarious. Hopefully Archie will gain some maturity before his dishwashing sentence is complete. And hopefully he won't break the dishes to get revenge!

Commas have always been a weak spot for me, I either put too many in or too few in, haha. So thanks, again. xD

Yes, Dorthy can be very amusing sometimes (though not always purposfully) but she has her serious moments. You'll find that out later.

PS. Have you been reading my other books, MissR? If so, how far have you gotten in them?


(This chapter takes it up a notch.)



Milkyway scrambled though the forest at a breakneck speed. Her paws were cut and stung as she pounded down on the forest floor, and her side ached and burned where it had been torn open by a sword. Nevertheless she had been given a mission and she was determined to fulfill it.
Milkyway had been the only creature of her village to escape Khain’s evil clutches. She was part of an orphanage that had been in the town that had been Khain’s latest recruiting office so to speak. The orphanage had been overrun by the vilest assortment of creatures who were under orders to take all the young creatures they found to Khain, so Milky had made sure she wasn’t found.
Her escape had been narrow, and she had not come out unscathed, but the young she-cat knew that she must deliver her urgent message- the message that Khain was tired of fooling around with tiny villages and was headed for the biggest prize of them all,

Reandalawo.

Milky had also overheard that Khain was sending a force of two hundred wolves and one hundred rat archers to take Meandrao, Reandalawo’s smaller, slightly weaker sister fortress.
So the young cat charged on, leaping over fallen logs, stumbling through thorn bushes and kicking up leaves in her haste.
It was then no surprise the watchful eye of a young black forester spotted her.

“Halt! Yes, you! Stop right there!” the second-best forester cat scout ever, Midnight, leaped down in front of Milkyway, stopping her mad rush.
“Now, now! What’s this? A little she cat running through the forest on her own, and wounded too! What is afoot? Something big, I’d guess, I’ve been smelling it for days, ever since Mozart and the rest became adults. Well now, speak up! What’s your urgent errand?”
“Ka-Ka-Khain!” stammered Milkyway.
“Ka-whosit-whatsit?” asked Midnight.
“Khain! The Wolfking! Leader’a the Wolf h’army! He’s gonna kill us h’all and I gotta warn Reanlawo!” she gasped.
“Whoa, ho, ho liddle missy! Khain? A Wolfking? What nonsense is this? There are no Wolfkings anymore! Mozart killed Cogg! He’s dead! You’re mixed up, I’m afraid, little one.” Midnight said, a bit surprised.
“Am not! I seen ‘im wit me own eyes! Its Khain I tell ya, not Cogg who’s ravagin’ this forest! It’s free no more!”

Maybe it was the conviction in the little cat’s voice or the fire burning in her eyes that convinced Midnight she was telling the truth, but somehow Midnight could tell that she was not making this up. The young gray-and-white she cat was dead serious and that fact chilled Midnight to the bone.
“Well then make haste! Follow me, I can get us to Reandalawo right quick, I can! Always keep my tail in sight! And hurry!” Midnight took off like an arrow from a bow, with Milky just behind.

I have trouble with commas, too.

Dorthy makes quite the judge!

I like Milkyway already.

Mozart the Meerkitten said:

“Ka-Ka-Khain!” stammered Milkyway.
“Ka-whosit-whatsit?” asked Midnight.

Click to expand...

Mozart the Meerkitten said:

Have you been reading my other books, MissR? If so, how far have you gotten in them?

Click to expand...

I began the first one recently, and have gotten to the 6th chapter. Not very far, I know, but I intend to read a little bit over time.

Zella said:

I have trouble with commas, too.

Dorthy makes quite the judge!

I like Milkyway already.

Click to expand...

Trust me, Milky will be back; that little kitten becomes an intrical part of this book later on, so file her name into the back of your memories.

MissReepicheep said:

I began the first one recently, and have gotten to the 6th chapter. Not very far, I know, but I intend to read a little bit over time.

Click to expand...

I just re-read part of the 6th chapter of my first book.
I am so sorry that you have to endure my horrible writing *facepalm*. I had to stop reading it because I would have had to start editing it if I read farther and I have another project I'm doing today...

The part which I have read is honestly not that bad. It's not nearly as good as what you're writing now, but it's not anything to be embarrassed about.

MissReepicheep said:

The part which I have read is honestly not that bad. It's not nearly as good as what you're writing now, but it's not anything to be embarrassed about.

Click to expand...

Hmmm, maybe I just think its bad because I'm the writer, not sure.
At any rate the story itself isn't that bad, but parts of it....
And you haven't gotten to Misty and Jako's song. OH MY! *shudders* Worst. Song. Ever. And it makes NO SENSE. And yet ITS SO FUNNY!

It wasn’t long before the howling began. It was an eerie, unearthly noise which caused the fur along Midnight’s spine to prickle with apprehension. Any thoughts that the kit with him might have been lying were dispelled with that one, long, dreadful sound, for Midnight had heard it once before, in the great battle in Meandrao when Cogg had howled as Mozart killed him.
“Hurry!” he cried to Milky as they ran. He heard the littler cat’s pawsteps pound harder on the ground and saw her white and gray fur as she drew up beside him. Her blue eyes were round, filled with fear and determination.

Just as the two runners burst out of the tree line toward Reandalawo a gray shape launched after them. Midnight could feel the wolf’s hot breath on his tail as he raced towards the bulk and safety of Reandalawo. Spurred on by fear, Milky reached the great Gate a few moments before him and banged on the door, yelling with all the breath she had left in her.
“Catlition!” Midnight called as he whipped around to slash the wolf following him on the muzzle, “Yowl Catlition!” Shooting off again he ran toward her as he heard more howls behind him.
“Catlition! CAAAAATLIIIIIITIOOOOON!” screamed Milky as loud as she could. Midnight reached her side just as the doors started to open, a wolf just behind him. Shoving Milky through the narrow opening, he turned to face the wolf again, feeling dismayed as he realized how large and powerful it was.

At that moment though he heard a twang and a triumphant yowl as the wolf thumped dead onto the ground, an arrow fixed between its shoulder blades.
Midnight knew only one cat who could make that shot. Looking up he saw his little sister Dorthy watching from the battlements, bow in paw.
“Get in Midnight! The rest are coming!” fitting an arrow to her bowstring, she prepared to fire as more wolves hurried after their fallen companion. Midnight though, had already vanished into Reandalawo, and the Gate was quickly closed behind him.

Ooh, it's getting exciting! ^.^

Yikes! That was a close one! Nice job, Dorthy!

Yes, the wolves delight in making close calls. Anyone who has read my other books may recall much the same thing happening to a Catlition of young cats as they entered Reandalawo for the first time.



“Midnight! What’s going on?!?” cried Dorthy, darting off the wall.
“We’re being attacked!” gasped Midnight, “By wolves, wolves like Cogg!”
Dorthy stared, her green eyes widening in shock.
“Wholly mackerel, we’re all gonna die!”
“No we’re not!”

The sound of Ribbony’s voice behind them made them jump. The huge gray tomcat was striding towards them confidently.
“We defeated Cogg, we can defeat any other wolf that comes out way too!” he said, with no hint of fear in his strong commanding voice. The fact that Ribbony remained unruffled by the proceedings eased Dorthy and Midnight’s fears but Milkyway was still shaking in fear.

“You not know Khain. Khain is ruth’ess and evil. He’ll kill yew all afore youse have time to blink! No’hbody can stand up to Khain!”

Ribbony crouched down until he was at eye level with the quivering kitten.
“Little one, once I thought the same thing as you about a wolf called Cogg. He was ruthless and evil like you say Khain is, he killed without mercy and slaughtered innocent creatures like it was a hobby for him. I learned though that he was not without weakness. My brother, Explorer, leapt off the battlements of this same fortress once onto Cogg’s back and badly wounded him, winning the battle for us that day. Many years later a tiny kitten called Mozart the Meerkitten- who lives today in this very castle- killed Cogg and vanquished his evil from this land. Do not be afraid- no-one is indestructible save for the Great White Cat whom we serve, he who conquered death for all who trust him.”

I agree with Ribbony. They can take him! Although I haven't given up hope that Khain will reform.

Zella said:

I agree with Ribbony. They can take him! Although I haven't given up hope that Khain will reform.

Click to expand...

That evening a council was held to decide what actions should be taken against these savage wolves. Numerous suggestions were made and rejected, though Mozart made note of every one in case she could put them together later and find a solution. So far these were the ideas:

Repel them like we did in the siege of Reandalawo and pick them off one by one from the battlements using arrows and slings.- Shadow (But they broke in through the northgate! Remember?)

Shoot their leader and be done with it. –Dorthy (if only it were that simple…)

Sneak into their camp at night and kill this Wolfprince, Khain, then free their captives and slaughter any wolves who dare to oppose us!- Explorer (I like this one…)

Pretend to parley with them when really our troops have snuck out the northgate and are behind them, ready to attack when we give the signal. –Mistyfoot (this is just brilliance)

Free the slaves first, then see what they can tell us about Khain’s army and its weaknesses. Then attack using our new knowledge. –Flower (smart, Flower, very smart.)

Lure them out onto the battlefield of our choice to fight, particularly someplace with a hill. – Dorthy (again, not bad though sis…)

Let us shoot fireballs at them! – Little Jako (And how exactly are you going to get fireballs? Wait, nevermind, I don’t wanna know)

Call in Alaya and Aliee to burn them to bits!- Frodo (and burn the forest too, Frodo? Really?)

Get reinforcements from Sanga in Vengo and THEN attack from the front and back. – Jade (Do you know how long that would take?)

Open the gates and engage in all-out battle with them.- Jak (he’s always so simplistic)

Use my inventions to help fight them. It might not win the war, but it might give us some laughs if they run home because they got splattered by pumpkins and tomatoes! –Caspian (Oh I love you bro.)

Some of them were quite far-fetched, but others really made sense. Mozart took it upon herself to combine the more sensible ideas into a master plan that, hopefully, would end the war quickly.

I like all the suggestions. Some of them are very funny.

You can do it, Mozart.

Zella said:

I like all the suggestions. Some of them are very funny.

You can do it, Mozart.

Click to expand...

I agree.

“I do think we should get reinforcements,” Ribbony was saying, “But Vengo is too far away. I have a better idea of where to get help…”
Suddenly, Missy sat up grinning like a kit, “You mean the Snow-Queen?”
Ribbony nodded, “That’s exactly who I mean. She even owes us!”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute! What Snow Queen? Why does she owe us?” demanded Jak.
“What, you’ve never heard that story, Jakie?” Ribbony said, smiling at the annoyed young tom.
“No, I have not! I’ve had better things to do with my time than sit around listening to gossip and elders tales!” instantly Jak regretted saying such a thing. All eyes in the room turned on him in something like surprise mixed with horror.
Dora was the first to recover.
“Well now you do!” she snapped, “Once upon a time when me, Ribbony, Explorer, Creamy and Missy were young we were traveling through a place called Snow Country. There was a little queen she-cat there- the Snow Queen, that is- who needed help wresting her throne from power hungry nobles who were holding her castle (and mate, if I remember correctly) hostage. We, Catlition, helped her retake what was rightfully hers and put down the upstart nobles. Her name is Dottina and she’s around our age. Wouldn’t even be surprised if she has a kit of her own now.” Dora winked and her brothers and Missy.
“So she owes you for helping her come into her birthright,” said Mozart thoughtfully, “Y’think that’ll convince her to help us? I mean, we’re up against a little more than troublesome nobles here.”
“Oh Dotti’s a good ‘un. She’ll help.” Reassured Ribbony, “The trick’ll be getting outta this fortress to get to her to ask. That’s the one bad thing about castles: they might protect you, but you’re holed in once the enemy assembles.” He shook his head dourly, “An’ if this Khain is anything like his papa he’ll be sending out scouts to find our weaknesses, so all the warriors will be needed to defend Reandalawo, however…” he glanced at Mozart and her LFF Catlition, “Maybe one of us old Catlitioners could take these youngsters out to Snow Country while the rest stay here to defend Reandalawo and,”
“Great flying cats!” exclaimed Caspian suddenly, “What about Meandrao? Khain’ll be after them too I bet, and they don’t have half the force we do!”
“Then when we get help from Dottina we’ll send her troops there.” Said Jako firmly, “Now, who to send to Snow Country? Missy’s too old,” he inclined his head respectfully to the old she-cat, “Ribbony, Explorer and Creamy, your experience and leadership is needed here, that leaves…”
“Dora.” Rumbled Creamy in his deep bass voice, “Dora!” he laughed.
“And what, my illustrious brother,” demanded Dora angrily, “Is so funny?!?”
“Oh, I’m just not too sure if it’d be a good idea to send you to talk to Dotti Dora. Remember? You two had a bumpy start!” his deep rumbling laughter resounded around the room.
“She was going to shoot us when we came out of the cave! She fell asleep! What was I supposed to do?” Dora stopped herself too late. Her ears turned bright red in embarrassment, and she glared menacingly at Creamy.
But the huge tomcat was not finished:
“Whacked her on the head, Dor’s did! Nice bump too! They came around to each other later though, but at the start!” he began laughing uncontrollably.