Ok one- why did you need a thread to injure us? Two..... *whacks with stick*, three- you should never hit me after my cousin just gave me battle training.
I have a fan belt. I took it off a dead Narnia Fan. Oh and it has a big metal buckle with Aslan on it. I may hurt you bad but at least the bruises will look like Aslan tattoos.
I have Helga the Dragon pulling a large wooden machine of war, a Tasty Pasty Marshmallow Cannon set to Heavy Stun. Unless you want to get your carbs the hard way, you'd better scram!