Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Little did Bob the janitor and Tumble the horse expect the challenge that awaited them.... in the person of that frightful super-villain, THE FILTHIFIER!!!!!

All across the land, men travelling the interstate highways were discovering, when they went to restrooms in the rest areas, that some creep had walked into the stalls with his eyes closed and sprayed around at random. "How can anybody WANT to be so filthy on purpose?" many of these travellers exclaimed. They did not yet understand the malice of the Filthifier.
 
The Filifier was better known by the alias of PIG-PEN from the Charlie Brown cartoons and comic strips! Too long had Pig-Pen been relegated to a supporting roll, only appearing in less than a handful of specials and treated as comic relief. Long had he lay in wait, plotting his vengence on a cruel and un just society that hated and dispised the hygenically challenged.

"Sure the dog got the plush toys. Even that bird that couldn't fly right-side up got on greating cards! Even Charlie Brown's pathetic Christmas Tree merchandised. Linus is even featured in devotional books. But what about me? I can't even get on a Valentine card! Someday, Someday I will have my revenge!" he vowed.
 
So Pig-Pen the Filthifier began radiating mysterious dirtiness-waves through the atmosphere. Persons affected by this energy began doing gross things like deliberately handling a flyswatter by the fly-squashing end.
 
And sharing toothbrushes. Why? Because Pig-Pen the Filthifiers evil hench man is... THE 10th DENTIST! You know the one who disagrees with the other nine on everything, including sharing toothbrushes. He thinks it's sweet and romantic, but the other nine say it's gross.
 
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Bob had already discovered that Pig-Pen the Filthifier was waiting for him, because he had stopped at a rest stop recently. Horrified by what he saw, Bob began mopping up the floors, with Tumble eating grass quietly outside.
 
Thinking quickly Pig-Pen the Filthifier and The 10th Dentist meployed the use of Bob's one weakness.... a perscirption for over the counter medication for Bob's severe case of OCD.
 
Just then, a phony faith-healer approached Bob, telling him that he should never need any medication or treatment of any sort for any reason. The phony healer was wearing eyeglasses at the time, and had been to see a dentist within the past week.
 
Meanwhile, in the distant solar system which was depicted in the TV series Firefly, a scientist was speaking to one of the administrators of the evil interplanetary government:

"Look at this chart of the system. We have what, maybe _eight_ full-sized planets that humans can live on, plus all the dozens of terraformed moons and asteroids. How _can_ that many worlds in _one_ solar system all have a temperature range allowing colonists to survive in the open air without needing enclosed environments? Distance from the parent star _inevitably_ determines energy received by a planet, and thus determines what its temperature range can be. And the orbits of planets _must_ be far enough apart so they don't collide. So with the number of settled planets we have, in any _real_ universe that has laws of physics, either the innermost planets would be too hot for people to live outside of domes, or the outermost planets would be too cold, or most likely both."

The administrator was still hoping for the TV series to be revived, so he shot the scientist.
 
AS the scientist lay dying he realized perhaps he should have kept his mouth shut .This same thing had happened to his second cousin when he tried to inform Captain Kirk following the cancelation of Star Trek after it's third season, and his father's best friend's former roomate when he tried to point this out to Darth Vader in Star Wars sometime durring the events of the original film.

However what this scientist didn't count on was getting reivived by Pig Pen the Filifier, and the 10th Dentist to join their team.
 
Besides having to feel indebted to the Filthifier for resuscitating him, the scientist had to admit that, EVEN WITH his spreading of dirtiness, the Filthifier was nowhere near as malicious and cruel as the Firefly villains. Moreover, he felt an intellectual kinship to the relatively harmless super-villain, since the Filthifier was willing to admit that, across a radial distance differential of more than a hundred million miles going outward from any possible sun, a series of planets could not ALL have even approximately an Earth-like climate.
 
Heading out on their quest for Global Domination ( or at least control of NEw Jersey), this horriying Trio set out on their quest, having taken out Bob the janitor .However all three of them were slain by the revenge seeking Orc named Joe who was still seraching for his missing Bride.

Then Joe the ORc at Sir Robin's Minstrel .And there was much rejoicing.
 
Meanwhile, in London, the Doctor was turning on his TARDIS so he could save poor Bob from the evil Filthifier and his gang. While he was doing this, Rose was standing by, slightly confused.
"Wait," she said, "who is the Filthifier? And who's Bob?"
"I dunno," the Doctor replied, grinning. "Let's find out!"
 
Meanwhile, the owner of a certain Shawarma restaurant struck it rich by being able to air advertisements in which The Avengers endorsed his food -- "Just the thing to satisfy your appetite after a long hard day of world-saving!"
 
Rose and the Doctor had decided to stop by that restaurant earlier in the day, just to try the food, but they had been attacked by a certain type of Shawarma-eating alien and had been forced to leave, escaping into the TARDIS. Fortunately, they managed to snatch some Shawarma before leaving, and had been eating it as they learned about the Filthifier.
"The 10th Dentist..." the Doctor said, thinking out loud. "Where have I heard that before?"
"Sounds quite a bit like your name, Doctor," Rose replied.
"Eh, why don't we go meet this Dentist?" the Doctor suggested, once again grinning.
Off they went to find the 10th Dentist and the Filthifier, traveling through time and space in the TARDIS.
 
Luckily, the Doctor was able to clean off all of those horrible substances with the help of a local boy who had set them there as a prank.
After the disgusting work, the Doctor and Rose resumed their journey.
 
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