World Domination III

Glen has feelings? When did this happen?

*whalesplats Sopes*

Yes, my having just whalesplatted Sopespian indicates that I escaped from the evil chair and never answered any questions about my feelings at all. If I hadn't managed to escape, then I would have resorted to either 1) silence and glaring, or 2) telling parables that don't make any sense, but initially seem profound and therefore waste the interviewer's time.
 
Hmm... I guess it was just news to me. Anyway. *recovers from whalesplat*
I think Glen has some unresolved psychological issues and is therefore reluctant to talk about her feelings. I wonder what these issues could be...
 
I had multiple personality disorder a few years ago. Then there's the lingering trauma from being splatted so many times. Stop wondering. I'll splat you in revenge.
 
*dials Dr Byrne's work number*

*waits for beep*

*waits*

*turns blue*

*collapses on floor*

WHY IS THERE NO BEEP! I CAN'T BREATHE UNTIL THERE'S A BEEP!
 
Dr. Byrne refuses to talk to you. He thinks that you are not an upstanding citizen, and that turning blue will be good for your character.
 
Dr. Byrne refuses to talk to you. He thinks that you are not an upstanding citizen, and that turning blue will be good for your character.

Thinks? THINKS?! I want quantitative studies, statistics, doctoral candidates keeling over from the work! I give nothing on fleeting fluffy fugacious thoughts!



Good point; look what it's done for this guy -- :cool:. He's the coolest dude around.

I see no reason to infer a causal relation between his blueness and coolness.
 
I present a bibliography.
_____________________

Beard, The. "Effects of Pathological Lying upon Individuals: A Case Study." Chronicle of Murder and Even More Interesting Things 2, no. 1.

Summary: The Beard does not believe Freckles is honest about its appearance and feels insulted.​

Chick, Spill. "In Defense of Capitalization: How to Effectively Combat Freckles." Grammar Police Bulletin 578, no. 245.

Summary: Freckles' belief that she can abandon capitalization and punctuation rules at will has resulted into 47% of the population turning into large vegetables every Friday.​

Cran, Dr. "The Moral Character of Freckled Persons Upon Dark and Stormy Nights." Journal of Duffer Psychology 31, no. 4.

Summary: Freckles behaves badly when it rains.​

Rable-Lloonie, Diploticus Oswald. "Is Freckles a good person? A sociological perspective." Iambic Review of Sociology 21, no. 2.

Summary: Freckles has an unusually negative influence on her nephew, and we have charts to prove it.​

-- A World History of Impaling and Freckles' Unusually Large Part in It. Mexico: Asylum Press, 2016.

Summary: Freckles is violent and likes impaling things, which has destabilized developing countries around the world.​

Whale, The. "What Freckles Did to Me: A Study in Post-traumatic Stress Disorder." Journal of Duffer Psychology 47, no. 1.

Summary: Exposure to Freckles' behavior can result in a number of symptoms, such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, and nightmares.​
 
That is an admirable work of librarianship; nonetheless, it doesn't seem to strengthen the causal relation between coolness and blueness at all. It strengthens other things, though, mainly my violent impulses. *readies cactus armada*

(I didn't know there was an Asylum Press. Most illuminating. I would like to subscribe to their newsletter.)
 
Those were to prove that you are not an upstanding citizen. If you want evidence of the connection between coolness and blueness, I'm afraid you'll have to go kidnap a Telmarine or something. The next book the Asylum Press plans to put out is a memoir by the Spill Chick, and you can imagine what that will be like.
 
As a matter of fact, I don't. I'm not familiar with the Spill Chick and am not overly curious, except as to why the name of that character is preceded by a definite article. I just want to talk about language, you can write up another bibliography, and if Sopes came in with an abominable pun, this could be the happiest thread.
 
As a matter of fact, I don't. I'm not familiar with the Spill Chick and am not overly curious, except as to why the name of that character is preceded by a definite article. I just want to talk about language, you can write up another bibliography, and if Sopes came in with an abominable pun, this could be the happiest thread.

I'd love to come in with an abdominal pun, but I doubt you could stomach it!
 
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