I win because I live in my own TARDIS and have a dragon butler named Rochil.
I am a slave, not a butler. If I were a butler, I would be paid for my work.
Very true. But calling you a slave makes it sound like I mistreat you.
You do mistreat me! Making me play endless rounds of chess with the imbecile in your cupboard, forcing me to listen to his irritating chatter, and making me eat vegetables. *Shudders*
Oh, get over yourself, ya big wimp.