Be a Calormene!

[Parthian King]

What a wind bag. I'm glad I'm a free Narnian...

[LordofCalavar]

Originally Posted by Parthian King

What a wind bag. I'm glad I'm a free Narnian...

Ahh! Mighty Tisroc (MYLFAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEA), do you wish me to behead this insolent churl? Or do you wish me to begin at his feet and begin taking limbs off a bit at a time? He should learn to kneel before his betters, as many "kings" have knelt before your golden throne! He may find it easier to kneel when h e has nothing below his knees. *whirls scimitar menacingly*

[PrinceOfTheWest]

Wow - and the pirates thought we took things seriously! Geez, PK, good thing he's just got a keyboard to play with.

[fish_wwjd_frog]

Originally Posted by TisrocofCalormen

Well, you're getting closer to the mark when you talk of honor. Perhaps I won't have to add you to my collection of disobedient and foolish ship builders who are currently drying in the Calormene sun. But when your captain adds "may he burn in Hell" after he mentions my name, rather than the required and customary "may he live forever," you will understand why I may have my doubts. Perhaps you pirates of the crew have more honor and wits than he? Perhaps the heat of the sun temporarily robbed his of his wits that he would say a thing like that? We Calormenes, though a peaceful people, have ways of curing such illnesses.

But enough of that. If honor is paid, as well as whatever else of value I consider reasonable, and Calormene security is assured, I am open to negotiation. Adding "mylf" to everything makes things go smoother, let me tell you.

And for the sake of Tash, let all these wild claims of anyone but the Tisroc commanding the Calormene army stop. Such stupidity sounds like the braying of a donkey to me.

Tisroc, do all of yer calormen share the EXACT same views as ye? And don't say yes, because ye and me both know ye would be lying. The same goes fer we pirates and our cap'n.

Fer another matter, Tisroc, I will not put "mylf" after addressing ye, because I don't believe that that is necessary, and I pity the poor person that does have to live forever here on earth. But at the same time, ye don't see me insulting ye, do ye? I will not insult ye if ye will not force me to put "mylf" after addressing ye. Is that a deal?

[LordofCalavar]

Oh, my Tisroc (MYLFAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAE), these northern barbarians do sorely need a sharp lesson, and I wish you would let me give it to them. "Do all of yer calormen share the EXACT same views as ye?", indeed! As if there were any other views a good Calormene would hold but those of his Glorious Tisroc! These "free" fools seem to think that we stand around discussing what we think, as if our opinions matter! Has he never heard the talk in the bazaars and in the streets of Tashbaan? Our question is, "What does our beloved and puissant Tisroc (MYLFAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAE) think, and what does he mean by those thoughts, and how quickly can we adopt those thoughts as our own?"

Exalted One, has this not gone on long enough? I know you are rich in mercy and patience, but these impertinent braggarts have blundered onto our shores and have offered us nothing but defiance and insolence since we encountered them. Let me take two dozen of my guards - the least two dozen - and teach them manners. I would not kill them, or make them suffer very much. I could simply - trim their fingernails a little, as you have seen me do. (You know - the "wrist" trim, or maybe even the "elbow" trim.) At least let me give them a bath! (Rest assured my men will get them very clean!)

[PrinceOfTheWest]

Originally Posted by fish_wwjd_frog

the knights sunk our ship when we only had one pirate on the entire time.

Just to set the record straight: reading this might give the impression that having one pirate somehow made a difference. The fact is that there were four pirates present through most of the battle, and all of them elected to go ashore, leaving the ship unprotected and open to incendiary attack.

Of couse, had they remained aboard it would have made little difference - we just would have been treated to the aroma of roasted pirate...

[Twilightdryadhobbit]

Originally Posted by PrinceOfTheWest

Just to set the record straight: reading this might give the impression that having one pirate somehow made a difference. The fact is that there were four pirates present through most of the battle, and all of them elected to go ashore, leaving the ship unprotected and open to incendiary attack.

Of couse, had they remained aboard it would have made little difference - we just would have been treated to the aroma of roasted pirate...

Ok, You say there were four pirates. I counted The Captain, Is obsessed with Will, and Youngseadog was on, but had never fought a battle before, or done roleplaying, and didn't know what to do, so she stayed in the background. I apologize for having my information inaccurate, but after reading the battle I only saw two pirates posting about the battle except for occasional pirates who popped in, said something to the effect that they had to leave, or "Wow, I want to be a pirate!" and didn't post again. Who was the fourth pirate? Since I had to leave before the battle, so I didn't have the time to check who was logged in or not.


It is true that the pirates online went ashore, but if there were more pirates on the ship, such as the carpenter, or a gunner, or someone who knew more about the ship, it is possible that they could have thought of a reasonable way to stop the ship from burning. I realize you have tried to make the point that in role playing games more people does not ensure victory, while in real combat situations it does. I would like to politely disagree with that hypothosis, even though I see many, many of your other points. In a role playing battle, having a fair amount of people online, including people who have been on the thread for more than a couple days will help you win a battle. More people means more ideas, which is how role playing games are won. And with more pirates online, the majority would probably have voted not to abandon the ship when we realized you were that close to us, even if it was a captain's orders. When I was in charge of the ship, the pirates below me suggested that I change a foolhardy strategy, and I did when I realized that they were right. I don't think our Captain would be less accepting.

[Twilightdryadhobbit]

Originally Posted by TisrocofCalormen

Thou fool, when you use my yards, my wood, the air and the sun of Calormen, and my good graces so as not to sweep down upoin you and rid the earth of you--it is I who built the ship. All things in Calormen are mine. Where do you think you are? And who do you think you are talking to? One of your fellow sea barbarians? I AM THE TISROC, the greatest ruler in the Narnian world. You have yet to discover the meaning of the words "shoe" and "soap." Your fellow pirate has leanred manners. Start learning them yourself, or you'll be walking pirates.

Arrr! The sun of Calormen ye may claim, but what's to stop us from claimin the ocean wind that blows into yer land as ours? Ye haven't paid us any gold fer usin it as long as we've let ye! But since we be merciful pirates, we'll let ye have it fer a while if ye leave us alone about OUR ship.

[PrinceOfTheWest]

Originally Posted by Thedryadhobbit

Ok, You say there were four pirates. I counted The Captain, Is obsessed with Will, and Youngseadog was on, but had never fought a battle before, or done roleplaying, and didn't know what to do, so she stayed in the background. I apologize for having my information inaccurate, but after reading the battle I only saw two pirates posting about the battle except for occasional pirates who popped in, said something to the effect that they had to leave, or "Wow, I want to be a pirate!" and didn't post again. Who was the fourth pirate? Since I had to leave before the battle, so I didn't have the time to check who was logged in or not.


It is true that the pirates online went ashore, but if there were more pirates on the ship, such as the carpenter, or a gunner, or someone who knew more about the ship, it is possible that they could have thought of a reasonable way to stop the ship from burning. I realize you have tried to make the point that in role playing games more people does not ensure victory, while in real combat situations it does. I would like to politely disagree with that hypothosis, even though I see many, many of your other points. In a role playing battle, having a fair amount of people online, including people who have been on the thread for more than a couple days will help you win a battle. More people means more ideas, which is how role playing games are won. And with more pirates online, the majority would probably have voted not to abandon the ship when we realized you were that close to us, even if it was a captain's orders. When I was in charge of the ship, the pirates below me suggested that I change a foolhardy strategy, and I did when I realized that they were right. I don't think our Captain would be less accepting.

I do appreciate your points, Twilight Terror. That post was mostly tongue in cheek (seeing as how this looks like that sort of thread). I've been pondering this for the past few days, how difficult it is to have a credible and realistic "conflict" in this environment. For instance, how do you balance on-the-cheap stuff ("Look! We found a 500lb bomb in our hold! Let's drop it on the pirates!") against legitimate secrecy, which has a place in strategy? Difficult questions, and not easy to solve in this type of interface. Academic for me, since I won't be doing any more of it, but I hope you're able to work something out.

btw, I think our Queen is going to be making a post shortly that should give you an idea of where things are going with your captive pirates. Then you should be able to get underweigh again, providing you can shake these officious Calormenes. (Who are these guys? I'm tempted to get back aboard the Scrubb just to come help you deal with them!)

[the town hippie]

Originally Posted by Mar

OMG i love arivis!! i want to be a calormene!!

Marri, how could you?