What happens if you put anti-aging cream on a baby?

Glen never did that. Dr. Byrne may have been following his convictions at the time, but that in no way reflects on Glen.
 
Glen never did that. Dr. Byrne may have been following his convictions at the time, but that in no way reflects on Glen.

Caspian: Uh-huh. Regardless, one of your "split personalities" put us in cages. Therefore, I blame you as the best current representative of the crimes we underwent.
Dorthy: Also, are you just, like, referring you yourself in third person now Glen or is someone else controlling your text.... again....
 
That is a new, and very concerning, theory--but it would certainly explain a lot....

Caspian: Uh-huh. Regardless, one of your "split personalities" put us in cages. Therefore, I blame you as the best current representative of the crimes we underwent.
Dorthy: Also, are you just, like, referring you yourself in third person now Glen or is someone else controlling your text.... again....

That isn't fair. And I have a right to refer to myself in whatever person I want to. I was using fourth person earlier today. It was eye-opening.
 
Well, given that your expiration date was set to June 4 when the packaging plant labeled you three months ago, I'm not terribly concerned.
 
A flatmate of mine used to keep bank statements in the fridge because she was "less likely to lose them"... We told her that was not what "freezing an account" means, but she was little impressed. Well, I don't want to sound ungrateful, it's still a lot better than severed heads.
 
Me: "Tell me the truth, sir. How bad is my financial situation?"

Bank clerk: "Well, I think we both know that we haven't seen black numbers all year, so..."

Me: "Don't spare my feelings! Give it to me straight! Is it worse than a severed head?"

Bank clerk: "... Errr..."

Me: "It's two severed heads, isn't it? I thought it was. Oh, calamity! Oh, I am slain!"

Blank clerk: *inconspicuously dials security*
 
Blank clerk: *inconspicuously dials security*

When security arrives, they immediately notice the vacant expression in the clerk's eyes.

Security: "Sir, has there been a disturbance?"

Blank clerk: *continues to look blankly out the window*

Security: "Why did you call us?"

Blank clerk: *continues to stare*

Freckles: *sneaks clandestinely away, with contraband cacti hidden inside her hoodie*

(Note: One should never transport contraband cacti without first placing them in a plastic or metal case. Cacti are unpleasant inside a hoodie but will become far more unpleasant if police or security guards notice and attempt to tackle you.)
 
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Er...how do you aim a cactus? Are you trying to throw it, or shoot something out of it? And why aren't you wearing gloves? You are impaling your hands. Stop that.
 
I wouldn't really go for arguing with someone who's aiming a deadly cactus at you, but you know, it's your choice.

PS. I want chocolaaaate!!!!
 
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