Write a Note to the Person Above You III

Dear Ck-Oakenshield,

Freckles is terrible. She murdered a geranium and has been imprisoned. You can write to her at:

Berlin Prison for Maximally Insecure Inmates
Particularly Disturbed Division
1983 Very Dangerous Road
Berlin, Germany

Go ahead and send her a letter! I'm sure she'd appreciate to hear from someone on the outside, although she says that spending time with fellow geranium murderers has helped her to understand life more deeply.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Glenburne,

You know that's all nonsense, don't you? I've never done the least harm to any geranium, and I'm not in prison. I'm currently standing open-mouthed underneath the starry sky because I want to let a meteor melt on my tongue.

Life is beautiful.

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

Meteors burn up when they reach earth's atmosphere and never make it to the surface. Meteorites do reach the surface. However, they are generally classified as iron or stony. They are not ice and will not melt on your tongue.

Also, I do not recommend getting hit in the face by a meteorite, unless you are a totalitarian dictator or psychopathic mass murderer, in which case I would recommend the experience highly.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
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Dear Glenburne,

Tomato tomato.

Life is beautiful unless you let people get you down with their tedious facts and subtle distinctions.

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

Sorry, I'm being a spoilsport. Life is much more beautiful when a meteorite kills you instantly, as opposed to you dying slowly of disease or old age.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Freckles,

Heart attack. I've already thought about this in detail. Are you surprised?

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Glenbarimba,

I can't say that I am, no. I've already picked out the songs I want sung at my funeral and assigned solo parts. You could still get into my will by running through a library and shouting, "Troll! Troll in the dungeon!" at the top of your voice. Think about it.

Sincerely
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

Does running through the library where I work while it is closed count?

Sincerely,
Glen
 
Dear Glenburne,

It depends on which end of my will you're interested in getting in: the one with the crippling debts or the astonishing twist where it turns out I have millions on a Swiss bank account but the money can't be used to pay crippling debts.

Come on, try it while the library is open. It's not as bad as you think. Half of the people don't understand what's happening anyway, a generous 10% will get the reference and love you, and 35% will talk about it for a day and then forget it ever happened. To be fair, there is the 5% who will remind you of the incident every day for the rest of your life, but why worry about them? You can picture the inside of a Swiss bank vault while they tell the funny story about the time you ran through the library chanting something about a troll and accidentally getting trapped under a falling shelf. And the plastic surgeon will do really well on your nose. It will almost look like an actual nose again, promise!

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freck,

Won't it be awkward if Glen does that and there actually is a troll in the dungeon at that particular time?

Don't try to tell me that libraries don't have dungeons. I simply won't believe it. Where else would they put all the people who won't pay their fines?

Mike
 
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Dear Freck,

Won't it be awkward if Glen does that and there actually is a troll in the dungeon at that particular time?


No, it would be really helpful!

Mr Sopespian said:
Don't try to tell me that libraries don't have dungeons. I simply won't believe it. Where else would they put all the people who won't pay their fines?

Mike

Is "Mike" the answer to that question? I looked it up on google maps, but nothing came up.
 
Dear Glenburne,

Mapquest could be a name in a Dickens novel.

And I'm sorry I forgot to use the correct format for this thread.

Correctly,
Festive Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

Yeah...I definitely prefer Cloaky, Swiss pocket scythe and all, to that freaky reindeer in your avatar.

I don't require festivities--I have peppermint cookies--so you can lay off.

Sincerely,
Glen
 
SpInq! So good to see you!!
I hope your offline existence has been rich and fruitful. Missed you
 
SpInq! So good to see you!!
I hope your offline existence has been rich and fruitful. Missed you

it's been a ROUGH past couple years in many ways but I'm still kicking! So much has changed (more than I can or want to get into here), but I've been growing and changing and....growing hurts sometimes.

I remember when I used to visit this place every day but it seems that internet fourms are a dying breed. I do miss this place.
 
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