Advice on Debating
After Hyper's post about debating, I asked him through VMs if he was serious about pursuing some of these threads, wondering if I could give him advice in advance so that he won't learn the hard way.
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He said that he does mean to check them out, and that he would not mind some advice.
I wrote out the following, and since it is long enough to take up three minimum vistor messages, I thought I'd post it here. I know that it is somewhat off-topic, but I hope you guys don't mind.
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It does, in a way, still relate to the topic, since I'm sharing lessons I've learned, right?
1. To quote Scripture, be "Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry". That should be self-explanatory, but just in case, I'll be more specific: Hear other people out. Even if you differ on one point, you may agree on other aspects of an issue, so don't alienate them by making a blanket statement that they're wrong.
2. When you choose your battles, choose your hill to die on.
Most anything can be worth discussing, but not everything is worth the emotional energy of a full-out argument. Don't risk friendships just to be "right". Here's an example:
In debating whether or not the Bible is true, that would be a hill to die on for me. I would pursue this discussion instead of just saying "ah, we have differences of opinion, let's move on." That doesn't mean I would be uncivil, just that I would press my opinion and make it clear.
If I was in a more subjective discussion, like about modesty, I could present my views and hear out others, but not get into a big debate when they disagree. It's not that modesty isn't important, but it is not one of a core basis of my worldview the way that the infallibility of Scripture is, so I could just graciously withdraw from the discussion when things get too tense.
3. Pursue grace. Even if you ARE fighting a hill to die on, don't be harsh in how you present your opinions. Without compromising your values, you can still be gracious in your response to somebody.
4. Only join a discussion if you know what you're talking about. It is always difficult when somebody pops in and has strong opinions but no proper context for them. For example, if there's a thread contrasting theological ideas, and you don't really know which side to take, listen and learn. You can follow the thread and maybe learn a few things without speaking up. Should you choose to speak your mind even though you're mostly uninformed, you may later want to take back your words.
5. Not every single topic has a black-and-white "right" and "wrong". While I am by no means denying the existence of subjective truth, there are some gray areas, and just because someone has a slightly differing idea does not mean that they are automatically in the wrong. Don't treat them as such.
6. A lot of the time, it all boils down to the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated.
I think that's pretty much it. I know that this is really long, but I hope that you'll be able to learn from it. I also hope that it doesn't come across as condescending. You may already know these things, I just want to make sure that you won't do anything which you'll regret.
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