The Duffer Encyclopedia

Habeas Corpus

(1) Latin expression for a law that gives you rights, often suspended and reinstated from its first appearance in the Middle Ages. Something unheard of in Dufferland.

(2) Name of Lieke's toothbrush.

~submitted by Miss Freckles
 
Hatchet

Weapon whose existence HB should never hear of. In rural folktales, the hatchet is also known as "Fred's bane" (meaning of term still unclear).

~submitted by Miss Freckles
 
Whale Question

Question that, if asked, results in being crushed flat under a whale, making a *SPLAT* sound. The W.Q. was brought into existence by Lieke (supposedly to avoid the need for logical reasoning).

lieke said:
Some questions don't deserve an answer... others ask for a whale...
Click to expand...

There are trigger words, which, combined with a question, result in a whale falling upon the person in question. Lieke explains:

lieke said:
Each question that involve any of the words 'duct tape', 'cheese whiz', 'Stan', 'bank-robbery', 'diamonds', 'certain death' and 'cliff' should definitely not be asked, and the rest...
Click to expand...

Summoning a whale by using this method is not recommended by the author, as the whales used for Whale Question Punishment tend to be confused and disoriented after hitting the ground.

~submitted by Miss Freckles
 
Whale

Large, ungainly creature whose primary occupation is the crushing of innocent (and not-so-innocent) inhabitants of Dufferland. The Whale's natural habitat is thought to be located 7.2265 miles above the ground, although the Whale has been discovered elsewhere as well:

Olorin the Wise said:
Besides, I didn't have control of the ocean last year. So the whale in the Thames wasn't my fault.
Click to expand...

The Whale's normal state of appearance, however, is high in the air, descending rapidly:

Olorin the Wise said:
Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!

*SPLAT*
Click to expand...

Note the large splatting sound referred to at the end. This phenomenon is often associated with the Whale. Reasons for this association have been suggested by Dr. Rable-Lloonie in his book Death in Dufferland - Its Causes and Notable Impermanence; the most popular reason being that the whale is thought to be full of ice cream, producing a splatting sound whenever it comes into contact with anything larger, wider, and flatter than itself.

Whether the Whale enjoys its common occupation of falling and splatting people is unknown; it has been suggested that the Whale is too confused to determine this fact.

The Whale is often associated with the Bowl of Petunias:

Earendil the Mariner said:
*shoves Lieke off a cliff, with the Bowl of Petunias & whale after her
Click to expand...

Olorin the Wise said:
...the Whale and Bowl of Petunias shall land on top of thee, and thou shalt be crushed ultimately, which is to say, 42 times...
Click to expand...

lieke said:
I'm not sure which is funnier, the whale or the petunias.
Click to expand...

Olorin the Wise said:
Bowl of Petunias: *drops whale on dishwasher*
Click to expand...

The Whale's frequent appearances in Dufferland are a curious phenomenon, as the Whale does not appear to be fond of spam:

Miss Freckles said:
and then a whale swallowed him, and he spammed the whale and then the whale puked...
Click to expand...

This behavior has been referred to by Dr. Rable-Lloonie as "Sudden and unexplainable reverse-gustatorial tendencies exhibited by large mammals within 0.02 meters of insanity", in his essay Whales and Waterhogs: Famous Creatures of Dufferland.

For more information concerning the Whale, dial 1-800-SPLATTS or simply say "Oh no, not again", and the Bowl of Petunias will take care of the rest.

~Submitted by Olorin the Wise
 
(admit it, you just posted the entry to be able to double-post :p)

:D:D very nice and scientific that, wizard. but didn't you complain about the loss of your post-lateral accent in the mod q&a, and now you quote yerself without adding it? have you run out of accents?


and also: ice-cream? i don't think so. while hitting the ozonosphere, the ice-cream would pretty much melt, and the coldest temperature under it would not be enough to freeze it quick enough as the whale is simply too heavy, due to its enormous (oh bother, here i go again: enourmous? enormous?) weight. thus, though the whale might once have been filled with ice-cream, in the post-ozonophone approach of this matter, we shall have to say fluid dairy-dessert instead if we want to be scientifically correct.
 
No, because the Whale, having originated in space, is superchilled in its original state; hence the ice cream would still remain in the liquid phase until the whale reaches the ground, causing a loud SPLAT.

Somebody should write all these sources we keep quoting. I'm especially interested in Luminous Locks - Myths and Legends Around the Beard... :p
 
please. it's legends and tales. we have to wait another year before we can call them myths, since the beard-issue popped up just recently (or whatever you call it in internet-time).

i would like to read this whales and waterhogs edition... i need to look something up in the "hippo" section... :p
 
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