The Duffer Encyclopedia

Murder

Not something duffers would do, according to the Queen of duffers.

Dernhelm said:
Duffers are NOT murderers. :mad: Now, let's find something else to do . . . for instance, where's Fred the Box?
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Apparently, duffers have manifold ways of murdering the object of their wrath. Methods range from pushing someone off a cliff

Llama-Llama-Duck said:
Granted; Instead of going to work, you decide to jump off a cliff. and you die.

I wish I was really good at math.
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over crushing someone flat with a ruler

Olórin the Wise said:
*puts on janitor suit* *opens closet* :eek: A student trying to hide in the closet! PRINCIPAL! PRINCIPAL! *runs around corner and puts on principal suit* Mr. Brandon, eh? Well, you'll get what's coming to you! *smashes Brandon flat with ruler*
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to sending someone to visit the skandarnites.
The knowledge of the official names for all kinds of murder, introduced to show the fatal consequences of such deeds, proved only to stimulate the duffers' imagination of who else apart from fred the box they could kill.
Countless attempts to kill the Shiny Trash Can have failed, so have attempts to kill someone by making them hug a cactus.
There have been occassions on which duffers, killed by fellow duffers, have turned into ghosts. Examples are Frodosgurl (killed in the Mafia Game), Llamallamaduck and Midnight Rider.
The most popular method of thread-killing, however, is the use of this innocent smiley :rolleyes: as put into practice by the Queen of duffers.

- submitted by Miss Freckles (obviously)
 
Bowl of Petunias

First appeared in discussions concerning The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The Bowl of Petunias is constantly getting after people for stealing its line ("Oh no, not again"), generally when they get pushed off of a cliff.

~Submitted by Olorin the Wise
 
Slippers 1 and 2

The multiple personalities of a certain Duffer, they wreak havoc in the duffer threads when they fight. They are also the only known escapees of the Insane Asylum. Others claim to have done so but their claims cannot be backed up by evidence.

EDIT: This was Submitted by ~Lava~

Is that better poor Slippers, the Insane Asylum wants you back by the way.
 
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...adding onto that.

They are also known as twins. Slipper 1 is a destructive child who owns Mr. Bamboo, a bamboo stick in which he uses to poke out people's eyes. Slipper 2 is a much more kind and compassionate being but if you get on her bad side, it's not pretty. She often argues with Slipper 1 which can create a very long useless fight that other duffers waste their time reading, which is the best art of all. But they are nothing in comparison to Lieke and her amazingness. They often just come around to beat up on Lauren (Orolin the Wise [or not so wise]) and just keep Slp occupied when she's bored and has no one to talk to.

Edit:
bunbun-1.jpg

bunbun-2.jpg
 
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Coffee Poisoning

First discovered in 1936, coffee poisoning results from massive intakes of coffee. This causes the blood to turn to coffee, resulting in a high state of hyperactivity. The first documented case of coffee poisoning was in a housewife who never seemed to get her work done. The first symptoms of coffee poisoning appeared on September 21, 1936 while she was cleaning her apartment on the 74th floor of the Rent Building. She disappeared and was not heard from again, but reconstructions of the event deduced that the large dents found in the walls of her apartment were, in fact, the result of her bouncing off the walls, and that the cause of her death was her eventual bounce through the window, which just happened to overlook Crater Lake in Oregon.
Another effect of coffee poisoning is a gradual thinning out and coiling of the bones in the legs, arms, and spine. This explains why coffee poisoning victims exhibit tendancies to bounce off walls and celings - they can't help it. Many injuries have resulted from when coffee poisoning victims have been startled, jumped, and hit the ceiling. Victims in the more advanced stages of coffee poisoning often must be tied down with bungie cords to prevent their bouncing away at the slightest tremor. In one coffee-poisoning ward, the patients developed a sport they called 'inverse bungie jumping' attempting to get as high as possible off the floor without breaking the bungie cords. If the bungie cords were broken, the result was instant disqualification. These rules worked out surprisingly well, mostly because disqualified players were never in any state to complain. The sport lasted a total of one week, and would have lasted less time, except for the fact that everyone who tried to break it up was incapacitated by laughter for long periods of time.
Recent studies have led to a controversy over whether coffee poisoning is truly 'poisoning'. A recent article, titled 'The Better Man: Is Sleep Really Necessary?' was published in the Scientific Duffer and put forward the opinion that less sleep led to an increase in productivity. Investigations into using concentrated coffee as rocket and industrial fuel have also been initiated. The Scientific Duffer published an article which hailed coffee as the answer to the energy crisis and the secret to interstellar travel.
The effects of overdoses of coffee on human beings, however, are still generally regarded as detrimental and should be avoided. Coffee poisoning rehab centers exist in 17 states, and many hospitals are adding coffee poisoning wards. Coffee manufacturers are also looking in to ways to prevent the symptoms of coffee poisoning without subtracting from the normal effects of coffee.

This report was compiled by the Honorable Sir Prof. Dipl. O. Rable-Lloonie, M.D., Ph.D., S.M.
 
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:rolleyes:

Innocent smiley that is increasingly used by the Queen of Duffers in attempts to kill threads.
Her method is as followed.
She isolates :rolleyes: from all fellow-smileys or words, in fact, from everything but the colour green which surrounds about everything on narniafans, so, well... Then she puts it in a post and posts it.

Usually, duffer lieke is around to counterstrike by posting "TK" which is short for "Thread Killer". The accusation is used to enrage the Queen of Duffers, provoking her into posting a reply which revives the thread.
Both sides have cleverly tried to tweak the process to their own advantage, thus killing and reviving threads many times more than is healthy for any good thread.

:rolleyes: suffered severe emotional damage from being used in that way. the state of kansas is still discussing a transferral to the insane asylum.

submitted by Miss Freckles
 
May i add something to that, MF? A history i wrote in a random mood for that certain smiley. It´s from the So who´s on now thread, and if you want to see why or how, see this (25 ways to reply to the :rolleyes: smiley if someone tried to kill a thread again)

22. Have you ever thought of the history of that certain smiley, that blue face, the evil rolling eyes, the grin? If not, then i could tell you a whole lot. Once upon a time, there was a blue wizard, and he was evil (as basically all wizard with a beard are). He wanted to take over the world, which is of course impossible, since Specter owns the universe, but that was his dellusional mind: taking over the world. He wanted to start with the dancing lawn forum, since that is where it's all happening. He signed up, using the name of 'notevilwizardnottryingtotakeovertheworld'. And then he tried a really brave, yet very silly thing. He went into the 'which mod would win in a lightsaber fight' thread and he challenged them. If he would win, he would get Specter's password, if they would win, they could do whatever they want with him. Bad idea. First he was discussed almost to his death by the discussion-mods, after that a certain badger came and badgered him further into his bad state, and finally, he ended up in the fight between TG and HB, and well... he lost, i won't go into details, 'cause we want to let the evil wizard have some dignity... Anyway, he lost, Specter came to the thread, looked at the poor evil wizard, and decided that since he liked NF so much, he should be part of it... for good. So he lifted his mouse, clicked on him, and smashed him doing so. The poor wizard was made into a smiley, and when he realized that, his eyes started rolling, and one last crazy grin went over his face. Then... everything was over, the wizard was no more, and the smiley appeared. The other smileys look down on him, but the wizard doesn't care, he finally learned what love is, since so many members use him in their posts.
 
Why don't we have a definition for "Prof. Dipl. O. Rable-Lloonie" seeing as he seemed to write so much of this stuff? :rolleyes:

Why don't we have a definition for duffer?

Iambic hexameter

A a type of poetic rhythm. Hexameter meaning that there are six foot in a line. Iambic meaning that each foot has one stressed syllable followed by an unstressed syllable. An example of Iambic poetry could be found in the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge:

The ice was here, the ice was there,
The ice was all around:
It cracked and growled, and roared and howled,
Like noises in a swound!
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Iambic Hexameter was the main meter used in Holmer's work, The Iliad. It was misused by Olorin in describing a poem of Miss Freckles:

Olórin the Wise said:
The history of Sturdinae's life was written by Miss Freckles, in Iambic hexameter:


Miss Freckles said:
I wish I knew why Sturdinae had an ID crisis.

granted. the storytelling, all-knowing carlos pops up in front of you and tells you the whole story.

"it was a day in july. sturnidae starling wished he could fly.
he went home to his wife - all he had in life.
but she said "i know eagle accipitridae, he is much stronger than you, he has more feathers than you and he can fly!"...
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As can be seen, the poem is far from written in Iambic Hexameter.

~Submitted by Lossëndil
 
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