Faith Much Greater

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Do any of you ever wonder what happens to Susan after she is orphaned and family less? :( I do and so this is what I think happens after The Last Battle. I will post it by bits and pieces but I really want to know what you all think about it :confused: . CRITASIZE!!! I need to know every aspect of it...not just if you think it is good or not but what bout it specifically is bad or what you think might need some work or whatever :) . Just please be 100% honest.

The parlor was filled with girls giggling and making jokes as they sipped away at their midday tea.
“ So, Susan, how was America the second time around?”
“ It was fantastic! I am sorry that my other siblings could not have gone but the Smiths did not know them. Mother was rather apprehensive of me going alone but she agreed finally.”
“ Yes but what was it like? I mean you were there without your parents so what sorts of crazy things did you discover?” Susan put down her teacup that she had just risen to her lips. She sat in silents for a moment as if thinking back to remember than a huge smile crossed her face. She leaned into the circle as if to undisclosed the greatest secret.
“ I met a boy.” The other girls gasped in anticipation of what she was going to say next. “ He was the Smiths Nephew and he was grand. There was this gathering that the Smiths were going to go to but I had no escort so logically they thought of putting us together and it was heavenly.”
“ It must have been. You know I heard that the American boys are the most devilish kind. Is that true?” This girls name was Maryet and she had always been a mischievous one but also one of Susan’s best friends.
“ I would not exactly say devilish but they do live on the edge. Steve tried to kiss me that first night.”
“No. You don’t say. What did you do?” Susan rolled her eyes and looked at the girl who posed the question.
“ Anna, I did what any self-respecting woman would do. I told him that I hardly knew him and that if he wanted to kiss me he would simply have to wait.”
“ Susan, you have always had that smooth sense of calmness about you and you never lost your head for as long as I have known you.”
“ I don’t think that you would have said that two years ago.” Susan said with a grin.
“Yes when all that nonsense that your sister was spouting actually got to you.” The two girls laughed heartily but stopped abruptly when they noticed the rest of the room was staring at them blankly.
“ You see, when mum sent us away while the war was on,” Susan explained, “ Lucy thought she found a magical wardrobe and that you could walk through the back and into a country called Narnia. None of us believed until…” her words trailed off as if she was lost in some other world.
“Yes and uh… she realized afterward that it was all a game and unfortunately her other three siblings still think that Nar…whatever still exists.” Maryet paused looking at Susan that still was in a bit of a trance. “ Right Susan?”
“Oh yes, they are actually at the professors as we speak. Silly them, they need to grow up!” Susan hastily raised her cup to her he lips but she could not keep a cool front, her hands were trembling. She clumsily knocked her cake off the dainty plate that was resting on her lap. “ Oh silly me.” She got up and half ran to the kitchen. Maryet smiled at the other girls and then fallowed in hot pursuit. She found Susan leaning on the kitchen table with both hands grasping the edges.
“Susan what has gotten into you?”
“Maryet, I can’t take it any more.” Susan looked up tears filling her dark eyes as she fought so hard to keep them back. “ Can’t do this any longer!”
Maryet fixed her gaze on Susan and took a deep breath.
“What can’t you handle any more of?” she asked.
“Narnia. These lies that we have invented about it! I know what happened, I know…” Susan stopped to choke back a sob as the flood of memories poured in.
“Susan, dear, you know just as well as I do that all that was a game that your silly family coxed you into believing. I know as well as you do that you are far too grown up for those sorts of stories and ferry tales.” Maryet pulled a hanky out of her pocket and handed it to her sobbing friend. Susan reached out to take it and Maryet added, “ Now after you’ve wiped all those silly tears away we can go back and join the other girls.” Susan looked up at the girl standing in front of her and a sort of hate filled her eyes.
“No, Maryet, the tears that I am shedding are not silly. The are tears of poorly spent time trying to convince myself that something that exists as truly as you are I does not exist. I cannot pretend any longer that Narnia was a dream. Peter may be gullible in areas but he is not stupid and if Narnia was but a dream he would have given up on it years ago.”


...To be continued

[glamel]

great,.. uh, where's next? i'd love to see what will happen next, :D

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

I'll post some more but I would like to knwo what ppl think of what i have so far.

[♣Teh Deviant♣]

OMG Meran, I didnt know you could wirte so well! :eek: OMG U HAVE to post the next installment NOW! :eek:
Or I fear I shall not get to sleep.....

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Hold your horses, Sofi, I'll post the rest...but...tomorrow.

[glamel]

this is frustrating........waiting.

[Namaste]

Nice beginning. The only thing I would work on is the formatting, make sure a blank line is between the paragraphs, makes for easier reading. Contentwise, you have some great material here. I look forward to seeing what you will bring out next.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

ok fine! I'll post the rest just hold on. :)

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

“Now Susan be logical about the whole thing. Talking animals…” with that she began to laugh. “Honestly, I think you have been spending a bit too much time with your siblings. Take a deep breath and take control of yourself. Narnia is no more real than…than talking animals or whatever there is out there. Your siblings are fools and you don’t want to be associated with madmen.”

“NO!” Susan threw the kerchief at Maryet and glared at her. “No, my family, Peter, Ed, Lu Eustice and the rest that believe in Narnia are not fools or mad. They are willing to take risks and let themselves believe in something grater than themselves that they cannot describe as logical. No, Maryet, you have crossed a line that was not meant to be crossed by anyone. My family is the dearest thing to me and in insulting them you have earnestly insulted me.” Both the girls looked at each other as if they could stare the other down into submission when concentration was broken by the ringing of the doorbell. Susan wiped her eyes with her hands, regained composure, and headed towards the door. She slowly opened it and cracked a smile at the mail boy.

“Good day miss. I’ve got a telegram for you.”
“For me?” Susan timidly took the paper extended to her and smiled again. “Thank you and have a nice day.”
“Same to you miss,” the boy said as he hoped onto his bicycle and rode off.
“What is it?” Maryet asked as if the conversation in the kitchen had never taken place. Susan looked up at he and in an attempt to be nothing more than civil replied, “A telegram from London.”
“London? Why whatever could that mean?’
“I don’t know” By now the rest of the girls had gathered around Susan in the entrance hall.
“Well don’t just stand there, what does it say?” Susan slowly turned the small piece of paper over and slowly began to read.
“ With regret to say train number 47 has derailed. All passengers killed.”
Susan just stared at the paper. The other girls could tell it was something significant but none could make out what.

“What ever does it mean?”

“No, no, it can’t be true.” Susan muttered oblivious to the question just asked.

“What can’t be true?” The girls were desperate to know why their friends color had so rapidly drained from her face and why she was just barely breathing.

“My…my brother telephoned just the other day saying that…that they were going to London for some reason regarding…”she stopped and took a deep breath trying not to burst into tears. She slowly continued, “Regarding Narnia. And they were to take the11 o’clock train, which would have been the 22nd train.” The girls looked on in anticipation of what she would say next when Maryet skillfully broke the tension.

“So see there is really no alarm. Peter and the others are fine there must have been a mix up in the telegraph addressing.” All the girls sighed with relief and then started back into the living room but Susan clasped Maryets arm with a hand of death. Maryet very startled by the gesture stopped and cried out just a bit when the hand clamped around her arm but when seeing her friends face she knew something was desperately wrong.
“What is it?”

“ Mother and Father were going to London on train number 47. Eustace and Jill Poll were to meet Peter and Edmond today and they were to travel on that very train.”

“The train…they could have been on any number of trains that go to London and it very well may be not this one.”

“No. I am afraid…my dream is come true.”
Stunned Maryet stared at Susan.

“What dream?” She saw that Susan was about to answer but then stopped. She released her death grip on Maryets arm took a few deep breaths and stood up straight. She looked at Maryet with indifference and even a trace of cold resentment and walked past her.

“Susan, tell me. I can help.” That stopped Susan dead in her tracks and she turned on her heals to face her.

“No. You are no more help to me than the grim reaper. I am sorry, Maryet but we are no longer friends.”

“Why not?”

“Because…if you had not talked me out of believing in Narnia I would have been with my brothers and sisters right now. But the truth is, I let you manipulate me into convincing myself that Narnia does not exist. Answer one question for me Maryet, how can I be friend with someone tries and turns me from my family…to think of them as stupid.” With that question dangling in the air between them Susan once more turned and walked into the parlor. She picked up her hat and coat of the couch smiled at the reast of the girls and left.

“Where will you go? You have no one.” Maryet called after Susan but she was ignored. Susan tried blocking her voice out and it appeared to Maryet as though she was succeeding but inside Susan was torn. As soon as Maryet went back inside and shut the door Susan felt as though she could not breath. The tears welled up in her eyes once more but this time the spilled out onto her cheeks. She could not contain the emotion that was fighting against her in every way.
Ducking into an ally way Susan leaned up against a wall and began to cry. She just let it all out and soon found herself sliding down the wall and finally came to a sitting position on the earthy ground. She wrapped her arms around he knees and placed her head on them. Maryets words rang in her ears, “Where will you go? You have no one.” She was right. Everyone was gone…dead, she was orphaned and family less. Think Susan. You must think. Clear your head girl you must think of what to do next .She fought with herself trying to think clearly but nothing came.

“Mrs. Corntan.” She lifted her head and looked around as if the words that exited her mouth had come from a stranger. “Mrs. Corntan…yes I must try and get to her.” With this new energy and strength she got up, brushed herself off and called for a cab.

The house loomed over her as she stood at its door. It was not a very large house and in fact it had a nice cottage look to it. Anyone who simply passed by would instantly fall in love with it but Susan was not herself today. She dreaded going in and having to explain everything. Ask for lodgings like a common beggar…but isn’t that what she was now, a nobody? She had no close family and no home…she was all alone. She finally brought herself to knock on the door and stepped back to see what response she would get. Everything stood still for a moment then she head a noise from inside. She’s home. Secretly Susan was almost hoping that she would be away but on the other hand all she wanted was to break down crying in the arms of somebody who loved and cared about her. The door slowly opened as an old lady peeked out to see who her visitor might be.

“Susan Pevinsie. Why, come in come in. you will get cold through in that wind.” Susan was able to conger up a smile as she entered the house. She looked around at the familiar surroundings. Dried frits and herbs hanging on strings all over… the smell of a fire burning in the hearth. It was the picture of a country home and Susan only now remembered how much she loved it here.

“Susan deary, teck off yur coat and sit diwn while I get yu some tea.” The woman hobbled off to set the teakettle on the stove. She cut some meat, cheese and bread to go with it. Soon the whistle of the kettle rang out and tea was on. Susan did not feel much for eating but she accepted the tea with gratitude.

“Nuw Susan, will yu tell mi what yu doin’ out here on a day like this?” The woman’s heavy Yorkshire accent would have been hard to understand unless you knew her well, as Susan did.
“Well, I …I oh it’s no good.” Susan just started to cry. She strove against it with all she had but the emotions of pain, grief, and loneliness were too great for her. Once the Woman saw the state that the girl was in she waddled over to her side put her chubby old arms around her and kissed her head.

“Nuw Susan, thar thar. Joost take yur time and then tell me everithin’.”

[Elendil]

:eek: Oh No!!! Poor Susan is gana get a shock!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Well I couldn't leave out the wreck. I have to stick to the story that Lewis left to me...and that means she has to be left all alone.:(

[glamel]

then,...? what happens next?
post some mor TFT

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

I promis one I have a substantial amount more to post I will.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

I am glad you all like it and please check back here often to see when I post something. PLeas I want to kno wif any one thinks that it is not so great or if there is anything I could change to make it better.

[Rhyanidd]

Its excellent! Very well done....But..um I've noticed in the cycle of grief first Anger comes...and after that is tears and everything...oh well its all good

[gah_its_hailey]

oh my gosh!!!that is soo good!!!i love it!!!!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Its excellent! Very well done....But..um I've noticed in the cycle of grief first Anger comes...and after that is tears and everything...oh well its all good

If you were trying to say something negative I don't mind. I want imput and alot of it. I mean I am not asking you to be downright mean but do be honest. :)

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Weeping Susan relayed the story to the fullness of what she even herself knew. The pain of having to retell it was great but the relief of being in the arms and home of someone who really cared about her was some of the greatest comfort that she had had in months it seemed like. Here she did not need to put on hares, she did not need to pretend…here she could be as broken on the outside as she felt and it did not matter. The small arms of the old lady wrapped tightly around her, the chest that she now wept into, the soft but steady breathing that softly caressed the top of her head was so peaceful. Indescribably so, and Susan continued weeping till tears remained no more in her eyes and they finally closed form utter exhaustion.

((Sorry its so short. I will write more when I can))

[Elendil]

Wonderful! I like it very much!!!

[Hope96]

That is awesome. It really is. The only thing I noticed that you might want to watch is a few spelling errors. (I'm an english/journalism major so things like that stick out to me)

But as far as the actual writing goes, it was very good. It kept me intrigued the entire time. :)

[Rhyanidd]

Keep It Up!

[lions mane]

meran! awesome story, it's nice to see a story regaurding narnia here, and i walways wanted to know what other people think about susan and what happened to her!

well it was really gr8, keep it up! there's really nothing wrong with it. ya know?

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Thanks Gabe!!!

[lions mane]

Thanks Gabe!!!
ur welcome and much love!

Gabe

EDIT: no, i didn't write that, it's a song on the narnia soundtrack called lion!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

“Susan…Susan,” a soft but deep and strong voice called her name and a strong hand gently shook her shoulder. Susan looked up and couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Peter!” She exclaimed and hugged him with the mightiest embrace that she could muster. The shear joy of him holding her again resonated through her whole body as she clung to him, taking in every moment of the glorious reunion.
“Susan, take a look around.” Susan slowly let go of him, afraid that he would flee from her but she fallowed his instructions obediently.
“Ed…Lucy…Eustace!” There they all stood…her whole family. Mum, Dad, everyone. Susan felt tears creeping into her eyes. Not tears of sadness that she had shed thinking them dead the past several days, but tears of joy and relief to see them alive and well. She ran from one to another giving them all hugs crying and laughing with all of them. The joy was simply too much to contain and it overwhelmed her. Stopping once more in front of Peter. Now if you or I had been there we would have awed at what took place next but Susan had seen the likes before. Peter was dressed in the most brilliant of colors as were the rest. A golden crown rested upon his head, a bright blue cape draped over him royally the silver edges and patterns standing out like stars against the night sky. The others were dressed accordingly in the brightest, deepest colors of red, green, purple, and all the colors you can imagine.
They all looked different, older than she had remembered.
“I thought…I thought that you all-”
“Died?” Lucy asked. Susan nodded. Lucy stepped forward had cupped her sisters face in her hands.
“Now, no more tears, dearest sister. We are together so there is no need to cry but come.” With that Lucy and the rest of them began to run down the grassy hill that they were just standing on, Susan after them laughing silly like a little girl. Out of breath she stopped. Suddenly a pain greater than any other gripped her heart. Falling over she reeled in pain.
“Stop,” she moaned. In a flash the others were there at her side and Lucy had Susan’s head resting on her lap.
“Hold on!” Peter demanded as he opened Lucy’s cordial. “Hold on Sue!” Everything began to fade and go dark. Then everything just stopped…no sound, no motion, perfect still. Such a lonely place, a meaningless existence, Susan knew she was alone.
“Peter! Lucy! Edmund!” No answer, not even the slight comfort of a soft breeze rippling though her hair. “Help me!” Susan hugged her knees, rocking back and forth whimpering, crying seemed futile in this place. Where was everyone? Where had they gone? Why…why me? Susan wondered, as this new, horrid place seemed to close in on her. Were there walls? It felt like they would begin to squeeze her any moment now if there were. Yes, she could feel them on her back, her knees, and her arms. Was she going to die in this place of empty loneliness? Harder they pressed up against her, forcing her to stand up.
“Help! Please…someone, help!” but no one was there. The darkness grew deeper by the minute, the loneliness be the second. The silents was defining. Alone again…why?


((I know it sound depressing but it gets better...trust me))

[lions mane]

awesome! is she dead! i hope aslan is in this new (scary/lonely) place! ya know!
can't wait for the next chapter.

[NarnianPrincess]

Mmm! It's really interesting to see what other people think might have happened! You are doing well!

[Rhyanidd]

yes excellent...wow whenever I get on everyday people never update then I go away for 1 day and all of a sudden everybody has like a billion pages of excellent brilliant story! its great!

[SusanoftheSouthernSun]

Very sad for poor Su. It is a good story, I few spelling mistakes (I am got my degree in communication and my mom is an English teacher) but not bad with that.

Also, about the stages of grief...they can go between stages. I just lost someone close to me this past week so I know that the stages do not follow in a logical order. Often shock is first, and then it can branch off different ways.

[Rhyanidd]

Very sad for poor Su. It is a good story, I few spelling mistakes (I am got my degree in communication and my mom is an English teacher) but not bad with that.

Also, about the stages of grief...they can go between stages. I just lost someone close to me this past week so I know that the stages do not follow in a logical order. Often shock is first, and then it can branch off different ways.
I was just talking from my limited expierence...

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Also, about the stages of grief...they can go between stages. I just lost someone close to me this past week so I know that the stages do not follow in a logical order. Often shock is first, and then it can branch off different ways.

Yah some of this grief stuff is just me putting my feeling out on paper. I lost a really good friend just not long ago and it was really hard. He was like a...almost a best friend to me and then he was diagnosed with cancer. I literally watched him die and now even some times I will just randomly start crying if someone even says his name. So some of my stuff is very sad and there is a lot of crying in it even my poetry...so yah anyway.

[SusanoftheSouthernSun]

Yah some of this grief stuff is just me putting my feeling out on paper. I lost a really good friend just not long ago and it was really hard. He was like a...almost a best friend to me and then he was diagnosed with cancer. I literally watched him die and now even some times I will just randomly start crying if someone even says his name. So some of my stuff is very sad and there is a lot of crying in it even my poetry...so yah anyway.

Oh wow, that is hard. Knowing what is happening. At least you did get to say goodbye. But yes, losing people is hard. Grief is hard to really understand. It takes awhile to go through the stages to acceptance. It seems like you are managing through it with your writing. Writing is perfect for such a thing because it helps.

[Charn_Tim]

Yah some of this grief stuff is just me putting my feeling out on paper. I lost a really good friend just not long ago and it was really hard. He was like a...almost a best friend to me and then he was diagnosed with cancer. I literally watched him die and now even some times I will just randomly start crying if someone even says his name. So some of my stuff is very sad and there is a lot of crying in it even my poetry...so yah anyway.
Awwww, I'm really sorry to hear that, TFT...I couldn't agree more with SusanoftheSouthernSun-writing is a great outlet for that...I'm reading your story right now, and I'll give you my thoughts on it shortly :)

[EveningStar]

First off, the story is very nice. I have to really hustle to do all the things on my list this month, but I do get around to everything by and by. I wanted to find a nice new story to comment on right now for a very good reason....

I chose your thread to post my 1000th post and thereby celebrate your accomplishment and mine together. :)

A wonderful day to you, and to the other nice people that took the time to post feedback.

[Charn_Tim]

The Forgiven Traitor,

Congratulations, I chose your thread to post my 648th post and thereby celebrate your accomplishment and mine together!! (<-- Yes, Chakal, I'm making fun of you) LOL :D

No seriously, I just finished reading through your story, and I think it's great!! Keep it up, you left off at like the worst cliffhanger ever!!...A couple of my impressions were:

1) Very interesting plot twist on how Maryet had actually kept Susan from going to England to talk with the others (and hence, kept her from dying on the train) but actually was partially responsible for being a bad influence on Susan and helped convince her that narnia was a fake. (That was really cool, I enjoyed that).

2) Are we going to find out more about Mrs. Corntin; who she is, why Susan felt like trusting her over any of the others, etc.

3) I never pictured Susan coming around so quickly, but you make it work quite well.

So, basically, I'm really looking forward for more! Keep it up! :)

...And I've compiled the whole story into a pdf document below, so anyone who is just starting to read it can have it all in one place :)

[Elendil]

It's good I like it...Keep it up!!!

[~Rogue~]

I think this is brilliant. And really sad as well, you can see your true emotions in the words. Keep it up,I look forward to seeing how it's going to continue.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Thank you all for your impoot and to Charn_Tim< yes in the next pice I write you find out a lot about Mrs. Corntin. Oh an dtell me yall if it is gettin gtoo emotional. Thanks again for all the impoot and I am so glad you are enjoying it.

[Shasta Darcy]

great so far, TFT. Your content is great. If you want, you could give the story to one of your friends to fix the spellling part. It's tough on some of us.

But your story is excellent. I quess I never bothered to think about Susan, but you're off to a great start.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

great so far, TFT. Your content is great. If you want, you could give the story to one of your friends to fix the spellling part. It's tough on some of us.

But your story is excellent. I quess I never bothered to think about Susan, but you're off to a great start.

Yah I am sorry about the spelling...really. I am...I can speek two languages and I grew up not in america so I've been told that tht is why my spelling is so lame but I will try in the harder to make it less of a struggle for yall as my readers.

[Rhyanidd]

there were spelling errorS? seriously I didnt pick up on any, guess I've been hanging to much with that CollEge kid...lol..but I think you are doing great with the spelling (bout as good as me and I was born and raised American)....

[QueenSusanofNarnia]

OMG poor Susan!!!!!!!! She's my fave and..OMG...I cried when I read the Last Battle...OMG..You're a really good writer! Read the attachment for MY story.

ps: My story takes place right after HBB--after the Pevensies leave Narnia after their first visit as a family. It is right before Prince Caspian.

YOURS,

[QueenSusanofNarnia]

Oh wow, that is hard. Knowing what is happening. At least you did get to say goodbye. But yes, losing people is hard. Grief is hard to really understand. It takes awhile to go through the stages to acceptance. It seems like you are managing through it with your writing. Writing is perfect for such a thing because it helps.
OMG I LUV CEDRIC DIGGORY!!!!!!!!!

wait..y does it say 'gryffindor' at the bottom??

[Charn_Tim]

there were spelling errorS? seriously I didnt pick up on any, guess I've been hanging to much with that CollEge kid...lol..but I think you are doing great with the spelling (bout as good as me and I was born and raised American)....
Yeah, I finally found something I can agree with RF on: RF's spelling does suck worse than yours, TFT :p...haha j/k

[Rhyanidd]

Yeah, I finally found something I can agree with RF on: RF's spelling does suck worse than yours, TFT :p...haha j/k
Its all from talking to you....*sneers* you have to take it in context collEge kid!

[Charn_Tim]

Its all from talking to you....*sneers* you have to take it in context collEge kid!
That makes no sense at all!! You can't just make up something completely unintelligible and think it's a good comeback *throws up hands in frustration*

[Rhyanidd]

That makes no sense at all!! You can't just make up something completely unintelligible and think it's a good comeback *throws up hands in frustration*
It makes perfect sense CollEge kid! It just takes brain power...which you dont have! :p

[NarnianPrincess]

You two are awful! And spamming!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Ok Y’all here is more of the story. It’s not all but once I can transfer everything that I have written on my phone into the computer I’ll post more. I am also changing the Mrs. Corntan’s name to Mrs. McGuffy. I am sorry if that really throws y’all off.

Her eyes stung as she opened them and some sweat dripped in. Rubbing violently she tried to get the salty sting out and finally succeeded. She sat up and looked around. Everything was dark and suddenly fear gripped her. This time did it actually come true? Was the dream no longer a brutal mind game but a truth and reality? Susan sat perfectly still trying to pick up even the faintest sound that would prove this new fear wrong. Then it came…the soft breathing and occasional snoring of Mrs. McGuffy. Then more sounds and smells reveled themselves, reminding her of where she really was; the cottage on the outskirts of town. Now she remembered, all of it, Maryet, the argument, the telegram, the wreck, going to the morgue, and the weeks of dreams. The same dream repeating itself night after night every time slightly different but the outcome was always exactly the same…lonely, and abandoned with no one. She flopped back onto her bed folding her left arm over her wet forehead. She gazed up at the ceiling listening to the soft and friendly crackling of the wood in the fire. What a nightmare this had all been her whole life had been turned upside down in a matter of hours and it just kept on getting worse. She had gone to the morgue only days after she had received the telegram hoping that maybe it wasn’t really them and that had truly been a hellish experience. Could anything have been worse? Even the shock upon receiving the telegram was nothing compared to the hell she had gone through in that frozen horrid building.

“ Are yu sure yu doont want mi to cum in with yu?”
“ Yes, I am sure.” Susan looked around and them back at the old lady. Those eyes…they knew that her cool front was just a farce. They knew that she barley had the strength to walk through those doors. They could see right past her and into her as if she were a book laying open. “ I do not want you to go in because you think you have to. I must learn to face things on my own.” The old lady smiled at Susan and took her trembling hand in hers.
“ Yu er right Susan, boot yu can’t expect yurself to be fine right away auter what happened joost a few days agoo. Yu will have to learn to bi strong boot nuw is not the time to try and shew how tuff yu ar.” She stopped and placed one of her wrinkled hands on Susan’s downcast face. “ Deary, yu doon’t really have to do this at all if yu doon’t want.”
“ But I do have to do this. I must be perfectly sure that it is them, that they are in fact…gone.”
“ Well then, dry yur tears and do what wi must do.” The two slowly approached the huge stone building that loomed over the street corner that it occupied. Cold, damp, the smell of formaldehyde filling the air, it was perfectly nauseating and Susan had to focus all her efforts on keeping her lunch in her stomach. She looked over at Mrs. McGuffy and noticed that she was not the only one struggling with the smell but moreover the idea of this place. It didn’t just reek of chemicals but it smelled of death.
“ Miss Susan Pevincy?” A man said reading it off the clipboard that he held. Susan swallowed hard and simply nodded unable to force her mouth to comply with her. The man checked some things on the paper and then started to walk. Susan slowly fallowed with Mrs. McGuffy right beside her.
The room that they entered was even worse than the first. It was all tiled with a large table in the middle of the room and a few shelves along one of the walls filled with all sorts of mettle objects. Another set of double doors loomed in front of them and now the real test would begin. Susan felt like she was walking into an icehouse and pulled her coat tighter around herself. Both walls were lined with shelves and feet with tags of identification could bee seen from the main hall. They soon approached the first body in question…it was Lucy. She lay there as if asleep with her arms resting peacefully at he sides. Her face had some bad burns and cuts on it. Susan pursed her lips as anger and grief swept over her. She wanted to scream and cry all at once but was unable to do either. It was as if the coldness of the room had frozen all of her emotions inside of her…at least for now.
So it went on. Peter, Edmund, Mum, Dad, and Eustace, all of them were just laying there it almost seemed surreal to Susan. They were all within reach but but none of them were there at all.

[Rhyanidd]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....poor Su....its really good...

[SusanoftheSouthernSun]

That is so sad!! I mean, losing one of them would be horrible, but to lose your entire family....

(PS, there was a question so my signature thing is a double quiz in one)

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

yah well like I said before I have to work off the story that was left. if I could have I would have left out the wreck but that wouldn't be right.

[SusanoftheSouthernSun]

yah well like I said before I have to work off the story that was left. if I could have I would have left out the wreck but that wouldn't be right.

Well, then that changed everything in "The Last Battle", so I am glad you left it true to the books.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Here is that back grownd that CT wanted for Mrs McGuffy. Well some of it :D

Susan rolled over and swung her feet off the make shift cot that had become her bed. She had wanted to prove to herself that they were really dead and that visit had done it. She cringed at the recollection of the visit to the morgue. She suddenly felt cold all over even though the stove called out with warmth. The final funeral was to be the next days. Could she make herself go? she had barely survived the other 5 and now she wondered if she honestly had the strength to face the final good bye of her last remaining family. Well, of course she had her Aunt and Uncle Scrub but...no that would never work out in a million years.
"Susan? is that yu?" the soft voice asked from the other room.
" Yes, ma'am." Susan could hear the rustling of sheets, the bed creek just a bit as the old woman got up. She walked into the main room and saw Susan sitting on the bench beside the window gazing out into the night.
" What er yu tinkin uf?"
" I don't...my family. I still have such a hard time believing that they are really gone. " Susan looked over at Mrs. McGuffy who was now setting the table with two tea cups and some bread and jam. " you probably think me very childish. I should just...grow up and think log ." " Nu. I doon't think that. Belivin that some one yu luv is gone is not an easi thin to convince our mind of." So understanding, so helpful, it festinated Susan how one person could understand and sympathize with every feeling that ever surfaced. If it was joy, grief, anger or anything else Mrs. McGuffy always had the right answer even if that meant silents
" I feel so lost." Susan said as she sat down at the table.
" I knu the fealin, Susan." startled Susan looked up at Mrs. McGuffy who was now pooring the tea. She had never said that about anything before. She had never clamed to understand anything that Susan was going through, till now.
" I...I don't understand. You know how I feel?" She felt stupid asking the question. Mrs. McGuffy sat down and looked Susan square in the eyes.
" I had a fmaily once. A husband and two wonderfell gerls like yu. " she smiled at the memory and sat silent.
" What happened?"
" Aboot 25 yirs agoo I lived in London with mi husband Oliver, and mi two twin girls, Maya and Sarah. "

The streets of London were busy as usual and the general hum of noise flowed.
" Mum!" a young woman turned around at the sound of the little voice calling apparently to her. " Mum! Hide me!" the little girl ducked behind her mothers skirt and peeked out glancing around.
" Maya, who er yu hidin from?"
" Papa." Maya said in a whisper as she brushed her golden locks of hair out of her face. Gwen McGuffy smiled as the little round face pulled back behind her skirt.
" Mum!"
" Sarah, where is your Papa?" Without answering Sarah looked a ways up the street and there coming towards them was a tall muscular, handsome man. Gwen couldn’t help laughing when Sarah as Maya hid behind her.
" Gwen, have you seen the girls?" The man asked with a smile and a glance at the four blue eyes that were now peeping out at him.
" Nu, I haven't. " little giggles could be herd now as the girls listened to their parents play along with them. " Oh, Paul," Gwen said with fake anxiety, " do yu think that the ugly ogre got them this time?"
" I don't know? I think they may be right...HERE?" with that Paul grabbed a little hand that was holding on to her mother's skirt. Both the girls squealed. One playfully fought against her fathers hold on her hand as the other took off running across the park. Paul handed the squirming girl that he had flung over his shoulder to her mother and began to run after her sister. Gwen and Sarah watched them run across the park and soon began after them. Maya kept a good distance between her and her father as she weaved in and out of among the few trees that were scattered about the park. She stopped at the side of the road looked both ways and walked on.
" Maya, come back." Paul called after her as he stopped to catch his breath. Maya stopped turned and smiled.
" MAYA!" Paul and Gwen both started to run but it was too late. The horses screamed as did the little girl but nothing could be done. Gwen stood there paralyzed. Paul looked as though someone had stopped time mid stride. Then everything was shatered with the shrill cry of Sarah.

[Charn_Tim]

It makes perfect sense CollEge kid! It just takes brain power...which you dont have! :p
Um, I didn't see this until now, so I have to put RF back in her place!...it makes perfect sense to who? your small-homeschooled brain? your stupid shadow minions?! You can't spell and you make no sense at all, and you think I have no brain power??!!


You two are awful! And spamming!

(Don't call me awful, I'm gonna cry...hehe)...Sorry, but as you can see, there's no way I can let RF get the last word in ;)


TFT, it's really cool so far-I just read your second to last installment, and I'll get to your latest installment a little bit later; I just got back into town and I have a lot of things to catch up on :o ...oh, and changing her name doesn't throw me off at all. Out of curiosity, why did you change the name?

[lions mane]

i havent read this in such a long time! i sort a lost track of all my reading on the forum! but i'm so sorry, i just got caught up and tis great! i love it! ya know?

peace out
meran

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

oh, and changing her name doesn't throw me off at all. Out of curiosity, why did you change the name?
I changed the name because she is supposed to be Irish. I asked my dad about a name that sounded a bit Irish and he said McGuffy did and I didn't think the other one sounded Irish at all...so I changed it :D

[Rhyanidd]

TFT, that is so sad, what happend to Mrs. McGuffy! That's..like...*shudders*..



I am going to ignore you collEge kid, because I am not a spamer...*self-righteous smile*

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

OK...CT and RF you both are spamming so lets stop before it gets shut down...ok? :D

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Susan stared at her friend from across the table. Mrs. McGuffy was lost in the past as the memories of the bitter day were relived as she relayed her story. Susan saw that in body Mrs. McGuffy was very much sitting there in the little room but in spirit she was decades in the past.
" I...uhm...I'm truly sorry, I had no idea." Mrs. McGuffy sorrowfully looked up at Susan yet it was as if she was looking right through her.
" Susan, I em yur friend and as sooch...the rison I told yu aboot this is not to make yu fil sorry fer mi. It was so yu know that I understand what yu er goin through and that I em here to help yu every step of that way. " Susan looked at this woman...this kindred spirit and felt a sort of bond that she had never had...save with one long ago. "Susan, dearest, please let us go to bed soo tomorrow yu can bi rested. " Susan nodded obediently and after clearing off what had been midnight tea went over and lay back down on her makeshift bed at the far end of the kitchen by the stove. Soon after she lay down she fell fast asleep.
Susan stood outside the room where the caskets was. She took a few deep breaths and then boldly walked in. She took a few steps and then stopped. Breathing suddenly became a chore. Come on Susan, you need to do this. You have to do this...I know you can do this. Susan thought as her feet once more started mechanically towards the coffin. As she approached she smiled despite herself. He lay there looking like he had time before only now his hair was combed, he was dressed in his best Sunday clothes, and his hands were folded so neatly across his chest. She could remember back to the days when she had been sent to wake him. She had hated doing it but now she would have given almost anything to be able to wake him.

"Susan, where in heavens name is your brother?" Susan looked up from her book that she was not really reading (for Susan was not exactly the studying type) and looked around the room.
" He's probably still sleeping."
" Well could you please go wake him. " Susan, reluctantly but respectfully, set her book aside and headed to her brothers room. Peter was out with father about business and Lucy was helping mother getting the cake frosted for the party. Edmund had the worst habit of staying up late to study and in the morning it was almost impossible to wake him. Susan walked up to his bedroom door, knocked a few times and waited for a response. Finally Susan opened the door quietly made her way over to his bedside. He was on his back but his legs were hanging off the side. His hair was matted and his mouth was hanging wide open. What a sight. Susan thought as she smiled trying to think of a way that would wake his. She bent over and lightly patted his cheek. No good. She tried again this time a bit harder. He mumbled something under his breath, rolled over onto his stomach, and went directly back to sleep. Susan was fed up, time was running out and if he wasn't ready in time Mum would be very upset. Susan knew it was time for plan B. of course it was not exactly fallowing in her habit of being ladylike but it was necessary for the situation. Susan picked one of his pillows up off the floor stood back and swung. Edmund jolted up like a flash of lightning. Susan stood there pillow in hand laughing almost uncontrollably. Edmund, realizing what just happened sprang up and started at her. Susan through the pillow at him giving herself a little bit of a head start & through the hall they went.
" Don't think your going to get away with this Susan!" Edmund teased. Suddenly as they both darted through the parlor into the front hall Edmund was almost knocked to his feet as he ran full haul into Peter who stumbled back himself as he collided with his brother. Susan stopped and stared laughing afresh at the sight.
" Good knight, Ed! What is going on?" It was Dad. He had come in right behind Peter and was not happy. Edmund composed himself suddenly feeling very self-conscious, standing in the entry hall in his pajamas.
" Well, I...I mean we. Su and I...Su had woken me in a very, well interesting way to say the least." Susan who had been able to stop laughing and stand as a silent observer started to chuckle. Edmund hearing her smiled from ear to ear trying so hard to not laugh himself.
" Go, get dressed and from now on try not to jump your brother like that again. At least give him some warning next time." He smiled and winked at Edmund. As soon as he was out in the parlor and they could hear him talking to Mum the three began to laugh heartily.

[Rhyanidd]

That is great the way you have the memories in there...


TFT I'm gonna be gone this weekend so I won't be able to read/comment on your story...But don't think I don't like it! Cuz I love it!

[Shasta Darcy]

excellent. I'm definitely enjoying it.

[Lost Dreamer]

its great, FGT. I have to say; eveyrone makes strouies abotu Susan after the last battle, and this is the only one ive liked. so keep it up!

[lions mane]

good story meran! it rocks socks! ya know?

much love
gabe

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Thank you much y'all for the compliments and I will write more soon.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

" You remember that Ed?" Susan glanced around to see if someone was watching her. No, the room was empty it was only her. She walked over to the only window in the room and opened the curtains. She could still see people trickling into the church. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip and turned to face the coffin again.
" I remember...oh, how I miss hearing your laugh." She gazed down at the still face of her brother. She reached out and placed her hand over his and stroked his cheek with the other. " Ed, I am so sorry for being so rotten to you these past months. I was trying to be grown and logical and all you ever wanted was the best for me. That's all any of you wanted but I couldn't see it...till now." now her bottom lip was shaking and so were her hands. "I want you back...all of you! " Susan closed her eyes. She could imagine him smiling, Lucy giggling, Peter laughing, Eustace telling one of his horrid jokes, and Mum and Dad talking quietly in the parlor. " I suppose what I am saying is, I am going to miss you so much, King Edmund the Just." she then bent over and pressed her quivering lips against his cool brow. A stream of tears ran down her cheek and fell to the silent eyes below. If you had walked in at that moment you would have thought that the still quiet eyes of the young man were crying. The tears that had dripped off the face of Susan were now running down Edmund's. She gently wiped the streaks off of his face smiled and whispered, " Once a king or queen in Narnia, always a king or queen. I have not completely forgotten that once I was a queen but I will never forget that you are one still. Ed, you lived as a..." she began to choke up. She swallowed hard and stepped away from her brother, wiped her eyes, and began to leave. She stopped before she opened the door and glanced over her shoulder.
" Edmund, could you please plead my case to Him. Tell the rest I will miss them desperately. I love you."
In a land far, far away two sons of Adam and one daughter of Eve stood on the greenest hill the eye has ever seen and gazed into what you or I would call a portal. The daughter of eve reached out towards a young girl walking through a door in a church. She looked towards the two sons of Adam and the buried her face in the great golden mane of the Lion.
" Sons, of Adam come." The booming voice was fallowed by a deep purr. He turned fallowed by the daughter of Eve and the older of the two sons.
" Aslan, can you..." The Lion turned to face the younger son of Adam. He nodded towards the other two to go on.
" What is it King Edmund the Just?" Edmund looked at the loving eyes of the Lion and then towards the portal. The young girl dressed in black was trying to strain against tears. The dirt fell with a thud on the wooden box with every shovel full. Slowly the hole began to fill up and the wooden box disappear..
" Aslan, can she come?"
" She forsook the memories of Narnia. She betrayed her family and turned from them. She denied me and said I was a dream. Tell me, does she deserve to come?" The young king removed his crown and held it up.
" I was a traitor, I betrayed my family and joined alliance with the very pit of evil itself against them, I proclaimed that you were an imposter, yet you died in my place and defeated death. I was forgiven and crowned king of the just. She is no worse than I." Edmund placed his crown on the ground at the paws of Aslan. The Lion smiled and growled as he spoke,
" Edmund, I told you once when you first became king...once a king or queen in Narnia..." there he stopped and looked towards the shadow lands, the land of pain and grief, oh yes and of joy and love.

[Rhyanidd]

oh wow, that was really potent in emotion...it was really good

[Shasta Darcy]

fantastic. though I'm not sure Aslan would need to be plead with. though Diggory does say in TMN that Aslan likes to be asked. so basically fantastic.

[Lost Dreamer]

i wonder what will happen next.

[Elendil]

Wow!!! TFT, this is sooooooo good! (much better than my one!) MORE!!!

[Elendil]

Here's my ending...
And they all come alive again, and live happily ever after! THE END! :o
COME ON! I WANT TO HEAR THE ENDING!!! :D

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

the ednding is still a ways off but I will post more of the story in just a minute.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

the sun was soon to set behind the rolling hills of the county. Susan sat back on her heels kneeling beside the carrot bed that she had been weeding all day it seemed. She wiped he brow with the back of her hand and paused did she hear something?
"Susan, come get a drink. " Susan looked over he shoulder to see Lucy holding out the dipper to her.
" thank you Lucy." Susan took the dripping dipper and pressed it against her lips as she drank she could hear Lucy giggling then...the water went all down Susan's front. Lucy now was laughing and Susan joined her sputtering as she did.
" Lucy! What was that for?"
" You did need to clean up a bit." Susan grinned and nodded. She suddenly splashed the remainder of the water right in Lucy's face.
" Well now that we are both so clean" Susan said sarcastically laughing at he dripping Lucy that stood before her. After their first visit to Narnia, Susan and Lucy had become much closer.
" Susan, do you think we will ever get back to Narnia?" Susan smiled now not at the pathetic site of her sister but because of memories that flooded her mind.
" I don't know, Lucy. I hope that we will be able to. I don't think Aslan would keep us out forever." Lucy nodded in agreement but also seemed to be lost in thought.
" Lucy the Valiant courage is her crown," Lucy began to sing a song that Mr. Tumnus had written for them while they lived at Care Paravel. Susan soon chimed in with her sister.
" Susan the gentle no one gone unnoticed. Giving her care o all those in need. Magnificent Peter High king of Narnia-"
" That is eh luvly song thar Susan." Taking a deep breath Susan feared opening her eyes knowing that the face of her dearest sister would no longer be before her. Slowly she cracked them to see the warm kind face of Mrs. McGuffy looking deep into her own. Susan looked around just to make sure that Lucy was truly gone...she was, but the memory was so real.
" Ded yah see one of ehm? Yur family I mean."
" Yes. "
" Who was et thes time?"
" it was...it was Lucy." Mrs. McGuffy nodded in understanding and she too looked around the garden. Susan returned the dipper to the water bucket and it landed with a bit of a splash. Still trying to convince herself that it was in fact a memory of times past Susan felt the front of her dress, it was dry. The memory had been just that and others flooded in.
" Cum on dearie, yu've ben workin out er all deh almost. Cum on inside and get clinned up."
" Do they ever leave?" Mrs. McGuffy stared at Susan blankly.
" What was that dearie?"
" Do the memories always come in such reality or do they leave?"
" No, not really Susan. aufter a while theh doont come as strong and thwn theh joost become memories thet pop up evey now and then." Mrs. McGuffy layed a loveing hand on susan's shoulder. " Boot yu wouldn't want them to liv yuh all together coz yu doont want to loose them, new would yu." Susan shook her head. No she didn't want to lose her memories of her family but...reality was hard to find in all of the daydreams that she had.
" doo yu want mi to liv yu aloon fer a while?"
" No. I have been alone too much today. Thank you." Mrs. McGuffy nodded understandingly and both began to walk towards the house.

[Elendil]

*SNIFF* Why don't you just make it all HAPPY! :D T'is too sad! :(
But I still like it! ;)

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

*SNIFF* Why don't you just make it all HAPPY! :D T'is too sad! :(
But I still like it! ;)

Oh and yours isn't? LOL...it will be happy in all good time just not yet.

[Lost Dreamer]

so my last comment was stupid, but i did wonder what was goign to ahppen next. now i want to know even more so...post!

[Rhyanidd]

Elindil you dont have any place to talk your story is very depressing....but good

TFT please post more...*puppy dog eyes* I'm begging

[lieke]

very nice story, TFT.

i wonder what happened with Maryet and the other girls Susan was with at the beginning of the story, did they try to contact Susan or did they just laughed about her? or did they feel sorry for her but did not see her anymore?

but you're story is very good, can't wait to see more :)

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

very nice story, TFT.

i wonder what happened with Maryet and the other girls Susan was with at the beginning of the story, did they try to contact Susan or did they just laughed about her? or did they feel sorry for her but did not see her anymore?

but you're story is very good, can't wait to see more :)

Oh you will find out within about five posts I would say. I hope. I still havn't gotten that far but don't worie you will find out what happened to them. :cool: :D

[Narniarules]

Oh you will find out within about five posts I would say. I hope. I still havn't gotten that far but don't worie you will find out what happened to them. :cool: :D
OMG I readed all your stories its so truly amazing spendid also!
I like the other story that Susan threw the pillow at Edmund it was humorous!
The Forgiven Traitor, can you help me with literature writing please?
Im horrible at writing stories..

[Lost Dreamer]

Narniarules, i know you were asking TFT but i just thought i'd give you a tip: read what others write, and then try to figure out what makes thier stories good. try to copy it; not to such an extreme that you write exactly like them, but try to copy the way they write such as the way the add humor, or express emotions. words are awesome, you just gotta learn how/where to use um
TFT...waiting for more...:)

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Narniarules, i know you were asking TFT but i just thought i'd give you a tip: read what others write, and then try to figure out what makes thier stories good. try to copy it; not to such an extreme that you write exactly like them, but try to copy the way they write such as the way the add humor, or express emotions. words are awesome, you just gotta learn how/where to use um
TFT...waiting for more...:)

Narniarules I agree with Adelyna-Small Winged One. I mean I am flatered with the fact that you want me to help you but you should read how others write and do as they do. But if you are set I will try and help you in any way that I can. Ok now that we are officially off topic we need to get beck on! Sorry! :o

“ What er yu thinking aboot?” Mrs. McGuffy handed Susan a piping hot cup of tea and took a seat beside her on the window seat
“ Everything. It’s been almost a year and it seems like just yesterday.” Susan took a deep breath shifting her eyes from the window to her steaming tea.
“ That is how it well bi for a while. It took mi a lot longer then that to get over my grief, but I hope fer yur sake it goes by quick.”
“ What happened after Sarah died?” For the first time during that conversation she looked directly at Mrs. McGuffy waiting for an answer.
“ Well, aufter Sarah paussed awey it joost got worse.”

******

“ Coom on Dearist you moost eat.” Gwen sat down beside the frail body of Maya. “ Yu moost get better.” Maya looked up her eyes sunken into her head, her face pail as paper and her lips dry and cracked.
“ Mum, why should I eat when Sarah can’t?” Gwen closed her eyes trying to think of the right words for her little girl. She slid her had over Maya’s and took it in a tender grip.
“ Sarah is in a better place now. She would want yu to eat, Maya. She would want yu to be happy fer her.” Tears welled up in Maya’s little perfect blue eyes.
“ She is dead Mum. Why didn’t I listen to you when you and Papa tried to stop me. She is dead because…” she choked up and the tears spilled over. Gwen caught her up in an embrace and tried hard not to cry as her daughter was but to no avail.
“It wasn’t yur faul, Maya. It wasn’t anybodies fault. Thing joost happen.” Now sobbing the little girl looked up at her mom who was overflowing with the sadness as well.
“ I miss her, Mum.” Gwen nodded her head
“ So do I pumpkin. So do I.”

[Lost Dreamer]

aww...sad sad sad. your gonna drag this out, arent you. pooie!

[Rhyanidd]

oh please update its soo sad!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Gwen paced in front of the door the lead to her room. He voice could be barely heard mumbling a prayer nothing specific but one of healing and well-being. The door opened and the doctor walked out, tired and obviously distraught.
“What is et doctor?” Gwen held her breath.
“ I am afraid that…please sit down.” Gwen quickly took a seat on the bench that stood up against the wall. “ Mrs. McGuffy, Your daughter and husband are not well.”
“Es that all. Well thank yu doctor, I am sure I can teck cer of them.”
“ Gwen, they do not just have any sort of flue that you can cure with any home remedy.” He paused looking for the words to say next. “ They have influenza.” Gwen stopped breathing all together. Her heart jumped into her throat and her head started throbbing all at the same time.
“Thar moost be soom mistake Rayon. Thar moost be.” Tears were now inevitable it was only a matter of minutes.

***

The rain pattered softly on the roof.
“ They both passed awey a month later.” Mrs. McGuffy closed her eyes taking hold of the locate that hung around her neck. Susan had no words. She could not speak, it didn’t seem right some how. She slowly raised her hand and placed it over Mrs. McGuffy’s. The rain now pounded the little house with such strength that it sounded it would come right through. Susan suddenly looked up and around the room, then out the window. What was that? Jumping up she ran to the door flung it open and ran full out into the rain. Ina matter of seconds she was drenched but that did not stop her. The mud splashed up onto her legs her bear feet seemed to barely even touch the ground. Stopping she gasped for air looking in all directions around her. She could see nothing in the downpour save the flickering light in the cabin…the faint warm light of home. The tears could not bee seen as the rain kissed her face, the sweet mingling with the salty bitterness of the emotion. For no reason Susan began to laugh looking up towards the heavens stretching out her arms. Tears still streaming down her face while her laugh rang out into the night.

“Lucy the Valiant courage is her crown, Susan the gentle no one gone unnoticed. Giving her care to all those in need. Magnificent Peter High king of Narnia ruling in council of Aslan the great Lion, Edmund the Just, mercy and truth given by him to all who sought it...those are our kings and queens of Narnia.”

Susan’s voice cracked not once while she sang the song from old. One that she had so long ago forgotten but her heart remembered every word and note. Mr. Tumnus had written it and presented it to them oh forever ago…Mr. Tumnus…Narnia…how she missed it all. How could she have forgotten it, no matter she knew it was the truth now…but would Aslan forgive her as he had Edmund so long ago?

“Edmund the Just, mercy and truth given by him to all who sought it...those are our kings and queens of Narnia.”

Pausing for just a moment, she closed her eyes as the rain nor slightly tapping her face and head. The tears of heaven washed over her as someone cried for her their in another world their tears spilling over now gently caressing their beloved sister who for now was left behind.

((ok I know that this one is a bit sad as well but the next one wont be...I promise. :D ))

[Lady Callandra]

I know this may seem a bit stupid, but in the books, I thought it said that Susan was the one with beauty beyond compare. Anyways, it's really good.

[Lost Dreamer]

ut oh, i must agree wiht Hester. what if you switched the verses for Lucy and Susan? just a thought. liked how the rain was her family crying for her...

[Elendil]

Big *SNIFF*...

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

I know this may seem a bit stupid, but in the books, I thought it said that Susan was the one with beauty beyond compare. Anyways, it's really good.

ok no that is not stupid...I'll have to check that one out. :confused:
But seein ghow it was Tumnus who wrot ehte song...Lucy was his fave.
OK but thanks y'all fo the insight...I will check it out.

[Bowofmystery]

Please write more, i am dying to here more. I almost burst out crying when i read the bit about the morgue visit and the funeral and the rain. It reminds me of my own experiences PLEASE continue.

[lieke]

very good update :) i like the way you can put emotions in the story, and the passing away of that husband and 2 children was really sad!! :(

update quick please :)

[Pretty~Ruth]

Faith Much Greater is the best story(the only one I read on here.) It kept me on the edge of my seat! Well I stop at the part when Susan fell and she said,"Alone Why...." Well if you have a continue please email me! :) :rolleyes: ;)

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

The sun's warm autumn rays alighted on the dirt path turning it to an almost golden brown. The slight breeze whistled in unison with the songs of the country birds. Susan wrapped up the remainders of her sandwich in her napkin and placed it back into her bag. Taking a long drink from her canteen she swung the bag strap over her shoulder and adjusted its awkward weight. It was nearly five miles to London from the house and the bagfull of preserves and jams didn't make it any easier. Susan adjusted her little cap and pulled it tighter around her ears. Every year she made this trek and she was grateful for it. Yes her feet ached at the end of the day but it provided her with time alone...time to think. How were her Aunt and Uncle Scrub? she wondered. After everything that had happened they blamed her. Despite that she tried to keep in contact but after months of silence and piles of "return to sender" mail she had given up all together. She couldn't blame them...she tried not to be bitter towards them for successfully completely excluding her from their lives. But it was hard, for even Eustace was full front in her memories and it might have been easier to deal with everything if there was family to share with. No they were not family any more…or she was not part of theirs, Mrs. McGuffy was her family and her home.
The city was buzzing as always and now Susan remembered why she loved the country so much. The chugging of the motorcars mixed with a hundred voices all talking at once you could scarcely hear yourself think. It was all such chaos. She slightly laughed at the thought that she actually WANTED to live there years ago. How time did fly...and people change, so much change in a few short years. The little bell rang as Susan entered Freeman's Convenient Store

[Aravis Kenobi]

The story is awesome!!! I love it. I had always wondered what happened to Susan after her family died. Does she ever get back to Narnia? I started crying on part of it. Please post more.

[Lost Dreamer]

grr, you keep dragging it out! i want to know what happens next!
(and yet for some strange reason i keep coming back. ;))

[Shasta Darcy]

TFT, somehow I missed like three posts. This is fantastic. I love it.

[Aravis Kenobi]

When are you going to post more of the story?

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

" I expected my dress to be done by now, Mr. Freeman. What is taking so long?"
" I don't know ma'am but you can be assured that I will have a talk with-"
" You'd better have more than just a talk with your stitch mistress if you want business from me in the future. Good day." The woman then turned and left sweeping past Susan with her nose in the air. Susan slowly approached the counter. " How many times has she used that threat on you, Mr. Freeman?" the clerk looked up and very relived to see that it was Susan replied in a whisper, " One too many." Susan smiled. " Nothing is ever fast enough or good enough for that one. "
" Well, I may have something that might cheer you up just a bit." with that Susan heaved the large bag onto the counter. Mr. Freeman smiled as he looked at the contents.
" Yes Susan, you were right. These preserves and jams are the one thing that my customers never complain about and that makes me very happy."
" I'll be sure to tell Mrs. McGuffy." Mr. Freeman began to unload the jars and place them an the shelf and Susan walked around the store admiring all the books, cloths and such. For two years she hadn't had store bought things save shoes.
She admiringly fingered the skirt of a beautiful sky blue satin dress that had silk trimming the neckline and skirt.
" you like that?" Susan jumped at the voice behind her.
" Paul, don't scare me like that." Paul smiled.
" So do you like it?"
" What girl wouldn't?" Paul shrugged as he placed an armload of books on the nearby shelf. " This blue reminds me of my mum's eyes. Except they sparkled like crystals."
" Susan, are you ok?" Susan nodded and smiled as she turned to face him.
" I just miss them." Paul was visibly at a loss for words and was saved by the little ring of the bell above the door announcing that someone just entered. Susan and Paul both looked but their reactions were very different. Paul looked on trying to remember whether he had seen her before but Susan stopped breathing. Her heart sank to the bottom of her feet then all at once jumped up into her through. She forced herself to start breathing again but it was erratic and panic like. She couldn't tare her eyes off the person no matter how hard she tried so she just stared hoping they would not see her.

((ok I wont be posting for a bit coz this is all I have written for now. I will try and write more ASAP but please be patient.))

[Aravis Kenobi]

Still good. Keep it up! Who's the "mystery" person? Dumb question, I'm sure you'll explain in your next part of the story.

[lieke]

Still good. Keep it up! Who's the "mystery" person? Dumb question, I'm sure you'll explain in your next part of the story.
i bet it is her old friend, what was her name again... Maryet? something like that :D

[Elendil]

Apsalotly wonderful!!! :D

[Lost Dreamer]

oooh! ooh! i know! i know! its her aunt and uncle! (you said persons, right? not jsut perosn?) thoguh it might be Maryet...

[Lady Callandra]

She couldn't tare her eyes off the person no matter how hard she tried so she just stared hoping they would not see her.

Sorry, "person". Who is it?

[Aravis Kenobi]

The Forgiven Traitor, when are you going to post some more?

[lieke]

The Forgiven Traitor, when are you going to post some more?
yes, we want more :D

[Queen_Susan_The_Gentle816]

Great book The Forgiven Traitor, but when are you going to post more?

[Aravis Kenobi]

yeah. Not that we're hurrying you.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Susan swallowed hard trying not to stare so obviously but it was impossible not to. It seemed as if her eyes had a mind of their own and refused to obey her commands to look away. She was helplessly glued to the face of the one she had tried to forget for so long and now everything came back.
“ Good day Mr. Freeman.” The girl said as she approached the counter. Finally Susan was able to turn around and think. She gazed down at the floor beneath her feet digging down deep inside of her searching for a plan of escape.
“ Mum says that I absolutely have to go. I have no objections but I have nothing to wear.” The girl clattered on as she moseyed around the small store. “By Jove this is gorgeous!” Susan almost jumped the voice now coming from right behind her. She fingered the books on the shelf that she now was looking at taking no particular interest in any of them at all. Sociology, Geology, Physiology, and The Anatomy of the Human Brain, were among many of the titles that she tried to appear interested in but her mind was all on the voices of the two girls clucking on like to hens.
“ I say, that blue would really bring out your eyes.” One of the girls said.
“ What do you think Paul?” the other asked. Susan could tell by the ruffling of material the two girls were pulling at the skirts examining the beauty closely now.
“ I wouldn’t know.” Paul replied with no emotion whatsoever walking past dusting the shelves as he went.
“ Oh really Paul don’t be such a wet blanket. I know you have an opinion on everything. I think it would look smashing.” Nonchalantly dusting the shelves by Susan Paul leaned in and whispered, “ Of course it would look good on her. She’s the one who said it.” Susan struggled against herself to restrain a laugh that could have jeopardized her anonymity.
“What was that you said?” the girl now turning to face Paul.
“ Oh nothing. I was simply agreeing with you that the dress would look fabulous.” Then it happened no matter how hard she tried a small chuckling snort forced its way out. Paul’s mouth slowly turned up into a smile that threatened to cover his whole face. Both girls frowned at the abrupt charge of suppressed laughter that was heard.
“ I dare say you are a bold one to laugh at a perfectly serious conversation that is not even yours to begin with.”
“ I agree how rude can one person be?” Still not turning around Susan replied as she ran her index finger across the books appearing to be searching for one in particular. “ What is society coming to? There is a deficit of young ladies such as yourself.” Paul quickly looked away and began to dust once more concealing the urge to laugh at Susan’s painfully obvious sarcasm. Susan pulled a book off the shelf and flipped through the pages as noisily as possible.
“ Country people. They are all the same.” One mumbled to the other under her breath.
“ Yes, quite right. We have no manners compared to you uptown educated folk.” One of the girls grunted at Susan’s response but she paid no mind and continued. “ We simply speak what first comes to mind, some may call us hot headed at times but I would say that is simply outgoing emotion, once again very much unlike you civilized folk.” Susan could feel the girls glaring at her but she cared not even a little because for now she was a faceless stringer speaking as she found. She returned the book to its rightful place taking down yet another one.
“ Yes I would have to agree.” The girl said coolly then she paused and let out a slight snicker. “ You remind me a great deal of a girl I once named as my friend. She was very hot headed and took my friendship that I offered her and tossed it out.” Susan slowly and mechanically now, replaced the book that she had been fingering through. “ I really don’t know what happened to her and quite frankly it is none of my concern any more.” Susan took a deep breath closing her eyes for just a moment trying not to lash out in a way that she would regret later.
“The last time we saw her she was fit to be tied.” The two girls giggled at the recollection. “ What was that a year ago?” Before the other girl could answer Susan stepped in a now melancholy and weighted tone.
“It was two years ago…two years and three months.” Slowly Susan turned around lifting her head as to look at the two that stood behind her. One of them took two steps back in utter horror her eyes widening to the size of golf balls. The other gasped at the sheer surprise at who now stood before her.
“Susan.” The one said dryly shifting her handbag uncomfortably from one hand to the other. Susan cocked her head to the side and grinned at the shock stricken faces of the two.
“ Its been a long time…Maryet.”

[lieke]

i was right, i knew it:D:D

stupid maryet, i don't like her

the story is good!! :)

[Queen_Susan_The_Gentle816]

I knew it would be her. Great story.

[Lost Dreamer]

hmmm...i have to agree; i dont like maryet one bit. stuck up little winch :D
sigh...post more!

[Aravis Kenobi]

Maryet is so stuck up. I know a few girls like that. Forgiven Traitor, post some more!

[Shasta Darcy]

very nice update TFT.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Thank you all for reading this...and I will update when I have more written :D

[Aravis Kenobi]

Well, we'll all be waiting anxiously!

[xx_Williamgirly_xx]

hey,
why don't u write books??
you really write good!!!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

I am in the prosses of writing a novle but this is just a fun pas time story that I am writing.

[Aravis Kenobi]

Are you going to actually publish this story? :eek: So cool. If you do, I'll go buy it! :D

[Rabadash the Ridiculous]

I am not sure if you can publish a story about someone else's characters, if you know what I mean.

[Aravis Kenobi]

True. Unless The Forgiven Traitor contacted The C.S. Lewis Estate and get the rights to the characters.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Composing herself quickly Maryet managed a grin at Susan.
“Yes indeed it has been a long time.” She straitened up and brushed a stray hair away from her face. “ How long it has been. I hardly recognized you, you’ve changed so much.”

“Really?” Susan paused her grin disappearing completely. “ You have not changed at all.” The memories that had been so long locked up inside of her now unleashed themselves engulfing her mind in a swirl of hurt, betrayal, and anger.
“ Well, how is your family?” Maryet attempted to start a conversation, dismissing Susan’s prier comment. Susan looked flabbergasted. A smile of unbelief sweeping across her face, words never being able to describe what she felt.
“ My family is gone.”
“ Oh really, where?” She now sounded slightly smug.
Susan looked away trying not to give into her first emotion witch was to slap that pretty little face back into reality. Had she forgotten? Tears threatened but Susan blinked them back.

“ They are…they all died years ago…remember?”
Maryet tensed up her conversation starters backfiring dreadfully creating an atmosphere of indescribable tension.
“Yes…I suppose I do remember now that you mention it.”
“ Well you were never one to think of anyone but yourself. Why should you have remembered it was just my family. No one important.” Susan’s sarcasm was unmistakable and the pain relayed in her words was horrible. She shook her head and turned to walk away.

“ May I remind you which one of us fled my house that day.” Maryet’s voice was cold and threatening. She would not be beet in a battle of wits not then not now…not ever. The stakes were high but this girl was no longer her friend, what did it matter? Susan’s hand hovered over the handle of the door the lead to her freedom, away from Maryet.
“ Yes. I admit I ran,” She turned to face the enemy, “Yet may I remind you that a friend is to help another not tare her down and insult her family.” Her voice cracked.
“ You were the one who came to me for advice on how to deal with your family so don’t you go putting the blame on me.” Maryet’s tone went from smooth and defiant to utterly angry. “ Put it where it belongs Susan Pevincy.” She spat the words out so defiantly the name sounded practically abominable. Susan nodded as she bet her bottom lip, she had been hurt, exactly what Maryet wanted. Defeated would have been preferable knowing utter victory was hers, but Maryet was willing to go with what little she had acquired. She turned to face her friend when Susan’s soft voice broke the silent celebration.
“ Your right I did go to you for help.”
Maryet nodded and smile for there was yet another victory. Susan took a deep breath before continuing, “It was farley ridiculous of me, wouldn’t you agree?”

Now Maryet’s sheer glow of power morphed into a frown of confusion. Susan cracked a wavering smile her lips trembling with emotion, “to think you could help.” Turning around Susan opened the door and let the chaos of the city engulf her. The slight grunts that she heard from Meryet, turned into what sounded slightly like threats, soon faded as the motorcars rumbled by, the people’s shouts became louder, the music filtered its way into the chaotic mess. Susan didn’t want to cry, she refused to cry but the tears would not be repressed. They were to be seen and were determined to break free and spill onto the face of one so hurt words would be inadequate to describe it.

Slowly picking up speed Susan began to run. Eyes turned and fell upon this unmannered behavior with their condescending gasps as she ran past head down tears flowing. She didn’t care…not now. All she wanted was to get out of the city and let it all out; the tears of pain, the yells of anger, the exasperation of why.
“ Susan!” A voice called from behind but she didn’t stop nothing would make her go back there now. “Susan!” the voice came again. The voice was a male voice not that of the foe she was running from…it was Paul. She picked up her pace trying to stay ahead of him she couldn’t let him see her like this. Soon the footsteps close behind her stopped but she kept pushing herself till she was well out of town.

Her lounges burned like wildfire, her legs felt week, and her heart was pounding at a maddening speed. She bent over resting her hands on her knees gasping at the fresh air. Now the emotions were coming, stronger than ever pounding at the door, begging to be released as Susan suppressed them. She stood up looking towards the blue sky of early August the tears distorting her vision.
“WHY!” she yelled. “Why did I have to see her today! Why did she have to be so…mean!” Exasperated Susan stomped her foot and a puff of dust rose around it. “ Why did you have to leave me like this!” she covered her face with her hands and gasped for air. The pain was so strong, so unbearable. “ Aslan, please help me.” She whispered looking once more towards the sky.

A lion stood alone watching as a heart broke in the shadow lands. A hand rested on the kingly golden main as a young man walked up beside him. No crown was upon his head but robes of wondrous reds, yellows and orange adorned him. He too looked into the portal seeing the shadow lands that he once called his home so long ago. The girl he knew and loved, his heart reaching out to her in her time of distress.
“Why must she suffer so?” the man did not turn away but kept his eyes locked on the girl walking down the dusty road.
“Her faith must become strong enough as was yours.” The Lion smiled looking towards his companion. “ You too suffered as a dragon Son of Adam.”
The young man nodded. “ Yes but that was because I did not believe, she does believe.”
The Lion turned back to the girl now sitting by the road rubbing her feet. “Yes…yes she does, but suffering is a part of the shadow lands. One day, Eustace, she will join you and her family here where pain has no place and suffering is not. One day.” The glow of brilliant colors from the main of the lion and the clothes of the one beside him shone down an the earth below giving light to those still in what is called the shadow lands.

[Narnian-Queen-93]

that was really cool!

[Aravis Kenobi]

Great new chapter. This story is getting depressing, but I'm hoping it'll be happy before too long.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

I am sorry about the depressing part of it but it will cheer up in a few posts :D

[Aravis Kenobi]

Great!! I can't wait.

[Bowofmystery]

the story is soooooo good, please write more soon :rolleyes:

[lieke]

great update, maryet is stupid! but the story is good! when will you post more?

[Shasta Darcy]

fantastic TFT very enjoyable. you do a nice job of tying in the characters that are already in Aslan's country.

[Aravis Kenobi]

TFT, when are you going to post more?

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

The October rain tapped softly on the tin roof, the thirsty ground drinking in the soothing water. Susan sang a cheerful tune quietly, as she set out the nine o’clock tee. This had become a tradition years ago when Susan and her siblings would visit, but now it was far more than that. Nine o’clock tee was a vital time of their day more so than breakfast or dinner. This was a time for them to talk and unveil their hearts in any manner they saw fit. Some days they would simply chit-chat about the events of the day rehashing every detail till they both knew exactly what had happened to the other. Other days it was a time of silent reminiscing of sorrows and good times yet nothing was spoken. Yet there were those hours during nine o’clock tee when hearts were spilt to one another and burdens were shared, laughs were exchanged and tears were seen, but today it would be far different than it had ever been before.
“Why I havunt herd yu sing fer soo long. Yu so cheery todey.” Mrs. McGuffy said as she walked into he house from the pantry carrying a jar of raspberry jam.
“ I have had a revelation.” Susan proclaimed as she stood before the old woman and swept a low bow. “ This would be more appropriate,” and with that she executed the most refined curtsy Mrs. McGuffy had ever seen. The both smiled. It felt good to be happy and today they were.
“ Soo tell mi, Susan, what er yu thinken of that meks you smile like a sun drop?” They both sat down at the table the piping tea steaming in their cups.
“ If I tell you do you promise not to laugh?”
Mrs. McGuffy let out a slight laugh just at the question and smiled. “ Eh promise.”
Susan smiled nervously and fingered the rim of her cup. “ Remember the magical land that my siblings and I used to talk about?” Mrs. McGuffy thought for a moment and then nodded her head. “ Well,” Susan continued, “it wasn’t just a made up world.”
The old woman tilted her head to the side in a questioning manner.
“ It was real…it is real. It is called Narnia.”
“ What was et like my dear? This land.”
Susan’s head lifted her eyes rising from her teacup. Her eyes danced with excitement yet her face was written with confusion. “ You believe me?”
Mrs. McGuffy smiled a warm grandmother like smile and nodded, “ Certainly I do.”
As Susan describe the world beyond that of what was known it felt like she was there standing on the hilltop of Narnia under the most glorious night sky.

The heavens were a canvas drenched in rich deep blue with streaks of white painted randomly across it. The stars were millions of pinpricks now shining as they were held up to the light shinning from the wondrous songs of the night. The moon so bright, was magical entrancing her beholders in a spell of peaceful harmony. Susan smiled listening to the orchestra of thousands of crickets, bullfrogs, and nightingales, as they plucked away on the strings of their voices that echoed against the mountains. Laughing as it rolled across the smooth rocks of its home the little stream that ran through the meadow enjoying life, skipped about.

Susan walked farther into this land of mystery and wonder. The breeze reached out caressing her face ever so gently with her hands of wispy tenderness, beckoning Susan to fallow her up the mountain into the realm where she was queen. Twirling in their splendid gowns of colors the mind can only see, the scents of the mountains danced about her to the music of the far off waterfall that fell and mingled with the ensemble of nature.

Such wonder Susan had never felt. The awe striking beauty of the night she had never seen, the night that had always been there stored in the files of her memory never touched…until now. It sang for the her and danced with her to the rhythmic drums of the trees as the children of the night played amongst their branches. Susan ran through the grassy meadow on the edge of the forest the memories so grand so wonderful, so real. Love found its haven in this place, mercy its namesake; nothing could abide there that was not pure and lovely.

Soon Susan embarked on the snowy planes of the Dancing Lawn, the fauns and dwarves prancing about in the first dance of the year. They reached out and she was pulled into the cheerful celebration as the snow crunched delightfully under their feet. She began to laugh along with those encircled under the brilliant light of the white moon as it smiled down at them.

Barely being able to tare herself away Susan was beckoned once more into the woods. Two birch trees took her hands and lead her deep into their home of the forests of Narnia. Their pail skin shone like silver in the moonlight, their hair flowing down their backs in a fountain of wondrous white and gray. Then more joined the merry party of travelers. The oak guiding the way lifting Susan over streams with their strong arms laughing with booming voices of majesty.

The crackling fire played amongst the burning logs in the hearth as the steady drip, drip, drip echoed as the water hit in the bottom of the tin bucket that stood under a leaky roof. The steam danced in swirling unison as it rose off the tea that stood untouched. The candlelight pranced about the faces of those who sat in silence one reflecting on the stories just told, the other lost in memories.

“Eh, Susan,” The old woman began still deep in thought, “ I feel yers younger listnen to yu.” She paused looking down into her teacup as if it would give her the words to voice what was going round and round in her mind. “Narnia, I new I heard thess word bifor. Narnia…Narnia…Ah mi old brain doont want to remember noow.” She smiled and chuckled slightly. Susan looked up at her companion grateful that she had not stopped her half way through and told her that such things could never be and to think more logically.
“NARNIA! By goolly I goot et!”
Susan jumped at the sudden eruption of the woman that sat across from her, spilling a bit of her tea over. She steadied the cup and stood up to retrieve some rags so as to clean up her small mess.
“Narnia…A place where everything grew…even eh lamppoost.”
Susan froze…how did she know about the lamp post Susan had said nothing of it yet…How?
“ Eh Lion, soo magnificent yu would fall to yur knees joost at the sight of him. He sang and thengs began to grow and stars eppeared in the skyee.”
Rags in hand Susan stared motionless. This woman was depicting the creation of Narnia. Even Susan had only heard of it from the professor…how did this woman know so much of the land Susan thought was hidden from all except from her.
“ The hurs sprouted wengs and woos made to talk. Uncle Andrew, he is Diggaries ooncle really, was thought to be eh tree, soo they tried to plent him boot Aslan, that is the name oof the lion, saved him.” A tear rolled off the old woman’s cheek and plunked into the teacup she held. Susan was still too astounded to speak.
“Hew could I hev forgotten. Susan I em sooch eh fool.”

[Lady Callandra]

*gasp* That definately keeps me guessing. *nods* I wonder how she knows that. *ponders until TFT breaks down and posts more*

[lieke]

that's strange, i was thinking that Mrs. McGuffy could be Polly, but in LB Polly is already in the new Narnia...... post more and tell us who she is :D

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Susan could barely breath her legs planted firm rooted in the floor it seemed, she could not budge an inch. The scene that was unfolding before her was unbelievable.
“ You…you are no fool.” Susan muttered from her side of the room.
“ I new Susan…I new and I wus to prowd to hurt to kep on belivin in sooch childish things.” Mrs. McGuffy smiled but he lips were shaking and her eyes were moist with tears. Susan felt herself desperately searching for some words of comfort or of understanding but all she could do was stand there staring at her friend. “ I wose hert when my babies died. I was mad and soo engry when my husbend past away end I didn’t know why a God who luved Diggery’s mum soo muech would meck my love die like he ded. I woos soo engry with God and the lion for everythin that I joost came out here and tried to forget every thing Polly hed told mi.”
Susan now finally able to move knelt down by Mrs. McGuffy taking her old hand weathered by age and hard work, calloused by years of digging and cleaning and cupped it in her still young and childish hands. The words refused to come so Susan simply told her with actions, told her that she was a shoulder the old woman could cry on, a listening ear to hear her troubles, a friend in a time of need.
“I nue yu understand dearie, I nue you er goin through et too.” Susan felt a hand gingerly cares her face the two understanding each other. No matter how old one or how young the other they were kindred spirits.

*******

“Gwen you will never believe what has happened to me.” The little girls eyes danced with excitement and sparkled with a sort of light that Gwen had never seen before.
“ Well I’m not gonna try end guess whut you’ve been up to Polly soo why doont you joost tell mi straight upe.” Polly smiled at her friend’s dryness but she knew deep down Gwen was simply aching to hear what she had to say.
“ This last year Diggery and I we went to a new land…several of them really.”
Gwen cocked her head to the side a bit apprehensive of what she was hearing.
“ What do yu mean? Yu know joost as well as I do that stufe like thet is nonsense.”
“ No,” Polly said shaking her head, “ It isn’t. I thought it was till I actually went there. Diggery’s uncle mad rings that can transport you to other worlds.” They were now speaking in a whisper as if taking of sacred things.
“ Yu not joost mekin eh fool out of yur friend nue er yu?”
“ Listen to me Gwen, I am being a serious as I ever was. This is real I am not faking. Come on I’ll show you.” Polly led Gwen into another room looking around to make sure no one was there with them. She then produced a hanky all wadded up from out of her pocket. She slowly unwrapped the white cloth and there in her hand lay two little rings. One was green the other yellow and Gwen could hear a bit of a humming noise.
“Es that noise commin from thos rings?” Gwen whispered. Polly nodded in response as magic rose from the two circles. Gwen reached out but before she could touch either of them Polly retracted and wrapped them back up.
“ I joost wanted to tooch them.” Gwen sounded hurt.
“ That is just it Gwen they have this power that makes you want to touch them but if you do…there are other worlds out there.” Polly could see her friend was still not convinced but what else could she do. She half wanted to let Gwen go to Narnia herself to see what she was talking about but Diggery had made it very clear that she could only take them to show Gwen then when she returned to London they would get buried with the rest of the rings. “Gwen, normal rings don’t just hum on their own like these.”
“ I know that.”
“So you have to believe me then.” Polly wanted so much to share her adventures with someone that she could trust. Of course there was Diggery but he already knew everything she did, she wanted to tell someone who knew nothing of her travels.
“ How meny worlds er out thar?”
Polly smiled. Gwen had believed her. “ There are two that I have been two. One called Charn it is now ruined and the sun is dying. The other is called Narnia.” Polly pause a bit remembering that wondrous land that she had been able to see the creation of. “ Gwen it was fabulous. The stars seemed to jump out as the lion passed by singing. Everything grew there Gwen…everything even the cross bar on the lamp post that she had broken off.”
“ Who er you talking aboot? If yu er goin to tell mi thes story could you start from the biginin?” Gwen said with a smile. Polly laughed as she realized how far she had jumped in the story.
“ Alright so what happened first is we were climbing around in the attic of Diggery’s house and we stumbled across…”

******

“ She told mi everythin.” The tea stood untouched and cold for neither of them felt much like eating or drinking. “Dear, Polly, wus the best of friends. All she wanted wus to help mi find cumfort in what we had belived as children boot I pooshed her away because of my hurt.” She shook her head at the thought of her selfish actions. “ Oh, whoot I wouldn’t do to tern back the hends oov time.”
“ All of us wish we had that power.” Susan knew what it felt like to live with such regret and wanting to go back and simply fix it all, she knew exactly what the old woman was feeling. “ But just think of it this way, both of us believe in it now. We both have found the truth once more and can lean on one another when need be.” Susan smiled up at Mrs. McGuffy their hearts speaking in such a language most would not comprehend.
“ I miss her soo mooch…I miss all of them, Susan, I do.” Another tear ran down the old wrinkled face dripping onto the hand that Susan placed on her cheek.
“ I know and we will see them again…we will see all of them again…in Aslan’s Country.”

A young woman clad in robes of royal purple and rosebud pink stood her hand resting on her chest a few tears streaming down her face. Yet these were not tears of sorrow or pain but of joy that one once lost had found her way home. The woman smiled and began to laugh at the site unfolding before her. She felt a hand elite on her shoulder and turned to see an old and dear friend standing in all the shades of red that ever were. He too was smiling and a few tears ran down his face as well. Laughter rang out from both of them as joy beyond words filled their hearts and minds dancing in the sparkles of their eyes.
“ I never thought she would believe again, Diggery.”
“ Neither did I. But perhaps Susan fell away so both could come not only one. Aslan works in strange ways…for he is not a tame lion.” Polly nodded as she gazed upon her friend whom she knew she would see face to face one day there in Aslan’s country.

[Lady Callandra]

That's really cool, but all the rings were buried a few days after Diggory planted the apple core. And in the Last Battle, Diggory and Polly became "young again", they came to have the bodies they had when there were in their twenties or thirties.
Sorry for the little nit picks, it is a very good new part to your story.

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Thank you for the nit picks that is what I have asked for people to do so I am glad that you are pointing out my flaws in the story. However the thing about the rings yes I realize they were planted days after but Lewis did not expound on the whereabouts of Polly during those few days. I simply have her go visit a friend before they are hidden.

[Aravis Kenobi]

Awww... it's a great update, TFT. Keep it coming!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

It was not a cathedral that rose a hundred feet above her towering about like a god in and of it’s self. It was not a church of wondrous wealth that stood adorned in the finest of all the attendants could bring to it…no it was a simple structure with four small wooden stares leading up to it’s bared wooden doors. The windows were all boarded in, the glass by weather and ruffians beat out, shattered at the base of the structure. The autumn leaves danced about her feat running to and fro, dashing in and out from behind the treas. The slight breeze sent a chill up Susan’s spine as she stood there gazing at the abandoned building.

She wondered about it’s past, what sort of secrets it might hold. The small wooden cross teetered at the top swaying in the playful push and tug of the slight wind. She pulled her shawl in closer around her shoulders and taking a few steps closer she set foot on the first step. It creaked and Susan quickly stepped to the next one. The same noise emerged but this one seemed to sink under galoshes. Taking a deep breath she grasped the railing that shook giving her no reassurance in its worth. The third and forth steps were very much as the second giving way slightly.

The door would be a challenge for it was barred, locked and rusted into place. Hope seemed to fail for she had no key and breaking it was not an option. She gazed at it trying to make out any possibility of it being open but none presented it’s self so with a sigh of defeat she turned to walk away. A sudden gusto of wind blew through the small opening in the trees throwing a pile of leaves into Susan’s face then just as quickly as it had come it stopped.

A strange feeling stuck in the back of her mind just before she stepped away. She knew it was locked but what if she had missed something…what if, so she turned around.
“ By Jove.” Susan whispered at the site. The pad lock was unlatched. Slowly she removed it and set it down on the porch with a thud. The dust stirred up as the breeze snuck in behind Susan small sunrays stealing in through the cracks in the boards that guarded the windows.

The room was empty save for the cobwebs adorning every corner and the table that stood in the front with a bible and cross atop it. There were a few pictures on the walls showcasing a shepherd and his flock, a young mother, child and father surrounded by barn animals, a horde of angry solders and three crosses, and a man standing in a white robe holding out his hands that had been pierced. Susan knew these pictures well for her mum and dad had believed in the man. The name he is called by in this world did not quite seem fit for she knew him by another name and another form. She took a few steps farther into the room and there in a corner was another picture she could not quite make out. Gingerly she lifted it off the wall and wiped the thick coating of dust off of the glass. She smiled as the picture reviled itself. A lion lay with a sward by its side and a crown adorning its golden mane. So glorious and magnificent a resemblance he bore to the lion she had so loved in that other world.

“Susan.” A deep strong voice came from behind her.
She jumped realizing she was not alone in this house the picture falling to the ground it’s glass shattering. She turned to see by whom she was addressed and her heart jumped up into her throat before she could utter a sound.
“ Susan my dear, it has been a long time since we have spoken.”
“ Yes…I suppose it has.”

[Lady Callandra]

Oh! Lovely update! I honestly started to choke up when I read those two lines of dialogue. :o

[Kalakali]

TFT, I have been reading your story for quite some time, and I think it is excellent! I just wish you would post more! You really are a very talented writer. Keep up the good work!

[Bowofmystery]

AHHHHHHH !! how could you leave us hanging at THAT point!! :eek: :mad: Now i am desperate to read the next part. **** you TFT for being such a good writer :D

Please Post more!

[~Grateful * Surrender~]

Thank you all for you compliments and support with this story. I know this next post is a bit sad but bare with me...it gets better ;)

Her hands went limp as she spoke, her legs felt week, and her head spun in frantic circles as he took a few steps closer. His huge eyes piercing her deepest, darkest secret that rested in the farthest part of her mind. She couldn’t cry, or scream, or run for her body would not abbey her commands so she was left to stand and wait. Susan’s whole body jarred as the sound of crashing glass ruptured the silence of this meeting. She looked to the floor and saw the picture she was holding now on the ground the glass shattered around her feet.

“ Why are you so frightened?”
“ I…You…we have not…” she struggled to find the reason, to verbalize her inner horror that she was swamped in but the words choked her and scratched her throat as she tried to speak. “I have failed my role as queen, denouncing my own country and rejecting my family, and yet…you have come to council with me here…” She swallowed hard partly shocked at her own words, her own confession to such things she had denied for so long.
“ Daughter of Eve, all have made mistakes…and in one way or another all have failed.” The Golden glow about him shone like a light in the dingy little place the voice she knew so well rolling through it, washing over her like a wave of peace and comfort, yet in a strange way she was still afraid of him for it was said, always, that he was NOT a tame lion.

“ But to deny the right to the crown which I should be proud to bear?” Anger now filtered through her struggling voice mingled with the sorrow she now felt for her betrayal. “ I am far worse then the rest…I should be…ban…banish-”
“Do not punish yourself beyond what is necessary Susan. Once a a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia.” The Lion sighed deeply feeling the grief of the young queen. “ You are no worse than the others.”
Susan struggled against the tears. “ Peter and Lucy I will not compare to, and Edmund…he was not yet king when his tertiary took place.” She turned away looking towards the cross that rested upon the only table in the room.

The Bible set beside it, it’s pages open ragged and age weathered, beckoned to Susan in a strange way.
“ I feel as if I know this story so well…yet it is a stranger to me.”
“ Yes, in your world this story you have forgotten.” The Lion came and stood beside her gazing at the wooden cross contemplating before continuing, “ But Daughter of Eve, you know this story well none the less… you were part of it.”
Confused Susan looked up at him who knew all trying to understand the riddle in which he spoke. “ I…I was part of this?” she reached out, now standing by the wall, and pointed to the picture of the mob of people and the man beaten and bleeding. The lion nodded and his