Modern Day LoTR

[Elendil]

My sister and I were thinking of what a modern day LoTR would be like!!! And we were thinking of all the things that would be different like:

The hobbits could ride pee-wee 50's instead of ponies.

Legolas could have a snipers rifle instead of a bow, and two pistols istead of the two knives.

The Roahim would all ride motorbikes.

Muakil could be giant tanks.

The eagles could be hellicopters.

Instead of pipes the hobbits, Aragon and Gandolf would have to smoke ciggerets.


What else can you think of?

[Eressea]

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :eek:
NONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
now im going to go have nightmares!!!
thats a horrible thought...
we try not to think about these things......

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Hahahahahaha! Gollum would ride a wheel-chair? And Strider would ride a motorbike and Arwen would be a fashion model for the house of Rivendell. Designer E.L Rond. Maybe there would be a train station called: Hobbitton Station and the Hobbitton Railway would lead through whole Middle Earth.
But the Orcs would use guns and heavy weapons. And Frodo and sam would go to Mordor by plane or..........Sam on a motorbike with Frodo behind him and Gollum in a sidecar!

[she-elfwarrior19]

Instead of pipes the hobbits, Aragon and Gandolf would have to smoke ciggerets.
Tuwoo tuwo that would never do :D :rolleyes: ! Noooo the pipe is such a far better thing for hobbits and whoever else in LOTR than cigarettes.NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo no modernizing LOTR NOOO :rolleyes:

[Pippin]

SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! dont give stupid sequel directors any ideas :P

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

What would they smoke? Marlboro? I think that is more for the race of men :D
Hahahahaha! It is gereat to imagine how a modern LOTR would look like today.
A parody would be great :D

[Eressea]

AAAAAKKK
AGGGGGG
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

STOP THIS EVILITY!!:eek:

[Elendil]

Elf ears go out of fashion so all the elves get plastic surgery!!! :D :D :D

(It's not evil, just funny!)

All the soldiers in Gondor have crew cuts and wear comoflage!!! :D

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Sauron would have a flat tv screen with his eye on it. And the nazgûl would use rockets instead of beasts.

[The Dancing Lawn]

LOl! Thats gr8!!!

[EveningStar]

I think it would be wicked enough to give Gollum the voice of Yoda. "The precious you want, but have it you shall not!" :D

[faithful1]

don't forget that there will actually be a Gap at the Gap of Rohan!

[QA48]

Hahahahahaha! Gollum would ride a wheel-chair? And Strider would ride a motorbike and Arwen would be a fashion model for the house of Rivendell. Designer E.L Rond. Maybe there would be a train station called: Hobbitton Station and the Hobbitton Railway would lead through whole Middle Earth.
But the Orcs would use guns and heavy weapons. And Frodo and sam would go to Mordor by plane or..........Sam on a motorbike with Frodo behind him and Gollum in a sidecar!
lol gollum on a wheelchair? now that's an image that made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!!!

[Eressea]

heh.. heh...
its funny... i could think of a few myself, but i dont think that i would ever hold some things in the lotr serous without cracking up... thinking of someone in a wheelchair or whatnot...
what about denathor? is he some sort of x criminal?

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Yeah, Frodo in a Wheel-Chair. I see them going through the woods and Gollum: Nasty little hobbitssesss, they are going too fast preciousssss,we can't go that fast preciousss, because our wheels get stuck in the grasssss preciousssssss !!!
Denethor? He use a walky-talky. Mordor? There he comes the grey fool and he has a small creature with him. He eats with his hands and he eats fruits but in the modern world he would eat potato-chips or frites :D He would be far overweighted and he would color his hair.

Oh my....I'm inspirered too much by silly ideas :D

[Morgrim]

Silly ideas is a good thing, my dear. I mean, books like LOTR are probably based on silly ideas but they are great books.

[EveningStar]

And you could buy a Ford F-450 truck at the Ford.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Yeah Mogrim, you are right. Those ideas can lead to something great.

But who would drive the truck? Aragorn or Gandalf? :D And to open the doors of Moria, Gandalf would need a ticket with a number.

[Eressea]

aragorn should drive the truck.. gandalf should have some slick looking car 'shadowfax'...

[CentaurMan]

well accually Tokien twisted the timeline of Earth because if you look at a map of middle earth you cuold see it looks a lot like Europe. so it would be like life right now

[The Dancing Lawn]

Hey Centaur man how r u 2day?

[Eressea]

hm.. thats intersting.. never heard o that afore..

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

And the Orcs would use phones. it is much easier. And when they are entering Rivendell...Galadriel doesn't give them elvish boats or Lembas bread, no, she gives them elvish snacks like Elfdonalds frites and there boats would have been speedboats. And Gimli wouldn't have to ask for 3 hairs, he would get a wig.

[Elendil]

I don't get the bit about the wig...

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

In a modern world, most people would wear extentions or wigs, so Gimli asked Galadriel in the books and movies a hair of Galadriel's head, but in modern world, galadriel would say: Hey yo! Here you can have my wig.

[Elendil]

aragorn should drive the truck.. gandalf should have some slick looking car 'shadowfax'...

LOL!

*rebirths thread*:D

[QA48]

LOL!

*rebirths thread*:D

Wow this thread is OLD!

Let me see what I could contribute?

I know for certain that Legolas would be a Movie star. And Gollum would go on to star in his own reality show called Flavor of Gollum where female creatures from all kindoms of middle earth would compete to win the heart of the one and only Gollum :D

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Gollum would drive in a wheelchair and Frodo would place Bilbo in a special home for elderly people :D

[QA48]

Gollum would drive in a wheelchair and Frodo would place Bilbo in a special home for elderly people :D

ROTFL! awww

I think Gimli would be a professor at some University and Frodo and the Gang would be in college majoring in what else? Computer Engineering!:D Oh and Merry would one day get arrested for downloading music and movies illegally off the internet.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Yeah! He and Pip are playing rapmusic or heavy metal and Frodo would take the violin and plays Bach :D
I think Boromir and Faramir start a rockband called the Gondorians and Boromir plays the drum :D The orcs start a gang and Sauron is the leader like Al Capone once was

[QA48]

Oh I forgot about Saruman!

Saruman would be the CEO of some high profile investment company. Due to a big scandal with some missing funds, he is forced to resign (a la Enron).

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Hahahahahahaha!!! ROTFL!!! He would be corrupted. And Gandalf wants to be a Mayor of Hobbitton.

[Elendil]

:D You guys are so funny! LOL. I'm out of ideas!

[QA48]

I still can't get over Gollum in a wheel chair! lol

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Gollum in a wheelchair driving around the woods :D he tries to catch a fish but it didn't work so he is going to Burger King to get some meat. He is unhappy because it is the fifth time he is ordering from Burger King :D

[Copperfox]

Grima Wormtongue becomes a movie director. He makes a film titled "Fellowship 9-11," in which he accuses Gandalf of having been the real mastermind behind all Orc attacks that have been blamed on Sauron or Saruman. Grima's explanation for this is to say that Gandalf is secretly a Big Oil tycoon, who wants to conquer and rule Mordor so he can drill it for oil. Then he makes a film titled "An Immolating Tooth," in which he claims to "prove" that the fiery nature of Balrogs is caused by global warming.

[fernshirehobbit]

sam joins the master gardeners and thens starts up his own garden shop.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Rosie and Sam start an Hotel. Pippin will carry the luggage :D Frodo is the new owner of the bookstore around the corner. And Hobbitton finally has busses and trains :D

[fernshirehobbit]

frodo works at a bookstore? that is so adorable!! :D

elrond opens a sushi resturant. orcsies love to visit it.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Lurtz starts a gunclub :eek:

[Copperfox]

Sam's garden shop expands to take in hardware; some Dwarfs come to work for him in that department, but the company remains Shire-oriented. He calls it Hobbit-Hole Depot.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Bilbo is starting an antiqueshop :D

[QA48]

Grima Wormtongue becomes a movie director. He makes a film titled "Fellowship 9-11," in which he accuses Gandalf of having been the real mastermind behind all Orc attacks that have been blamed on Sauron or Saruman. Grima's explanation for this is to say that Gandalf is secretly a Big Oil tycoon, who wants to conquer and rule Mordor so he can drill it for oil. Then he makes a film titled "An Immolating Tooth," in which he claims to "prove" that the fiery nature of Balrogs is caused by global warming.

Haha! Nice one!

Frodo is myseriously bitten by a genetically enhanced spider. He then discovers he has the senses of a spider and can shoot web from his wrists.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Arwen wants to open a beautysaloon and galadriel has become a fortuneteller. She uses her mirror. Legolas and Gimli are doing a show "Robin Hood" and Haldir has started a travelagency to Lorien and back :D

[QA48]

Merry and Pippin would become horse racers. One of them would go on to ride Seabiscuit.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! that would be Merry :D

[narnian reader]

This is really funny and goofy but I think the original is a lot better. Modernized versions of old stories happens way to often and are often cheesy.

[QA48]

This is really funny and goofy but I think the original is a lot better. Modernized versions of old stories happens way to often and are often cheesy.

Oh C'mon we were just having fun here...:rolleyes:

[supermeulen]

I think Gandalf should where a cloak like Neo on the Matrix and have a bunch of guns. Actually I don't think he should, but I would just like to see it :D

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Gollum is carrying a cell phone with him. He send textmessages to frodo lik: precious!!! You stole it from us! The ring vcan easily be remade. Sauron is having a store where he sells rings. Sauron is a fashion designer :eek: The suit he wears in the proloque is going to be THE DRESSCODE for men :D

[Copperfox]

Funny you should mention Gandalf with guns.





In the peculiar animated fantasy film "WIZARDS"....





firearms and some technology coexist with magic in the story-world.....





and when the good wizard is unsure of being able to defeat the evil one with magic.....






the good wizard unexpectedly draws a 9-mm semi-automatic pistol and shoots his enemy dead!

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

He would be a modern Clint eastwood :D

[Copperfox]

Meanwhile, Sauron would offer to donate a billion gold pieces to Jimmy Carter's Hobbit-at for Humanity, in return for which Carter would go around declaring to the Elves that Sauron was a lovable fellow who was just misunderstood.

[QA48]

Boramir, Aragorn, Legolas, Frodo, and Merry would go on to become one of the biggest selling boybands. Legolas being the lead singer lol

[narnian reader]

How about Eowyn getting involved with the feminist movement? The elves could also go into the ship making business because all the forests were cut down by the orcs and the Ents are the enviromentalist.

[QA48]

How about Eowyn getting involved with the feminist movement? The elves could also go into the ship making business because all the forests were cut down by the orcs and the Ents are the enviromentalist.

I forgot about Eowyn!

Eowyn will be the star of her own cooking show called "At Home with Eowyn"

Grima would become an Illusionist

And Frodo would become a Preacher while Sam would become a Youth Pastor lol

[narnian reader]

I don't see Eowyn starring a cooking show she is way more independent than that she is more likely to teach a self defense class. I don't see the connection between a preacher and youth pastor. And i see Merry or pippin more the youth pastor type and Gandalf or Elrond as a preacher.

[fernshirehobbit]

treebeard becomes a die hard everenmentalists that lobbies against the destruction of old growth forests.

the orcs join the canadian mounties

[QA48]

I don't see Eowyn starring a cooking show she is way more independent than that she is more likely to teach a self defense class. I don't see the connection between a preacher and youth pastor. And i see Merry or pippin more the youth pastor type and Gandalf or Elrond as a preacher.

Sheesh you seem to be taking this thread more serious than others.:rolleyes:

[Inkling]

Arwen would *definitely* audition for "Middle-Earth Idol" or "Rivendell's Next Top Model". Of course, Legolas would beat her out because he has better hair and spends much more money on assorted grooming supplies :D. Good times!

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Jules.............:D :D

Grima Wormtongue would sell newspapers and then he sells vacuüm cleaners from door to door.

[Elendil]

Legolas & Arwen might open a beauty salon...

[QA48]

Legolas & Arwen might open a beauty salon...

Legolas would then come out with an exclusive line of Hair extensions.

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Gimli will be the hairdresser :D

[Inkling]

Jules.............:D :D

Grima Wormtongue would sell newspapers and then he sells vacuüm cleaners from door to door.

He would then branch out to selling used cars...and get salesman of the year 5 times running :D

[Elendil]

Gimli will be the hairdresser :D

:eek: Somehow...I don't know....:p

[fernshirehobbit]

aragorn joins the fbi.

denethor is the president of some major department store.

merry is a clerk at said department store that works the night shift as a patrol men, working desperately just trying to make ends meet so that he and Estella will be able to pay their rent on their hobbit hole that they are renting from butterbur

[DaydreamBeliever]

Pippin drives a car in Nascar...:p

[dwarven_crusader77]

No nessa I think gimli would be a bartender :D

[narnian reader]

I could see Gimli as a hairdresser or maybe a bearddresser since he has those little braids in his beard. He does seem to be a bartender as well but I think that Merry and Pippin could do that as well or maybe they could join Dancing with the Stars.

[fernshirehobbit]

merry and pipin could be circus clowns...

[Olórin the Wise]

AAAAGH!! Stop! This is horrible! You're mutilating LOTR!! AAAAAAGH!! *runs away*

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

I think Grima will work on a fancyfair. Theoden is going to become a horseracing expert. Frodo will sell icecreams and Gollum is sitting in front of the tv with his wheelchair:D

[Maese Delta]

WWWHHHHAAAAATT!!!!!!!

No, I didn't say that because of your thread (this was meant for the creator of the thread) I like the idea, but since I'm a Tolkiendili, of course I'm respectul, and I defend it against some really gross and nasty parodies. But, say, this isn't so bad.

Look, I'll post later more replies about how would it be such a story in modern ages. Your ideas are good, but if you accept suggestions, we could make a better work. Because, why not, at least get someone who knows about comics and how to draw, and publish it in the web, or at least (for those delicate ones) to send via e-mail for those who really like the idea (those who are exlcluded, don't feel in that way since you clearly rejected the idea)

This is something usual, I have seen other parodies. What do you tell me about Lord of the Beans, or the paroy of the Simpsons Comic (I don't recall the number of the magazine).

But worst of all?

WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT ERAGON!!!:eek: :mad:

HOLY BARF!!! HOLY COW _____????:eek:

HOW COULD IT HAVE HAPPENED??? Inheritance trilogy is not a homage to LOTR (if there are, it's for sure are not that books):(

Oh... this sounds very promising. At least, as long as it stays here, and anyone else gets scared so that we are not annoyed, good.

[Olórin the Wise]

Erm... Eragon is a copy of Star Wars + LOTR + David Eddings + Anne McCaffery + Ursula LeGuin...

[fernshirehobbit]

:D celeborn would be a dog trainer

he would teach little puppies to obey and jump through hoops

[office]

My sister and I were thinking of what a modern day LoTR would be like!!! And we were thinking of all the things that would be different like:

The hobbits could ride pee-wee 50's instead of ponies.

Legolas could have a snipers rifle instead of a bow, and two pistols istead of the two knives.

The Roahim would all ride motorbikes.

Muakil could be giant tanks.

The eagles could be hellicopters.

Instead of pipes the hobbits, Aragon and Gandolf would have to smoke ciggerets.


What else can you think of?

Rofl!

(10 thingy)

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Aragorn is a bartender at the pub The prancing Dragon :D And Merry plays the piano and Pip is singing and dancing. Gimli ios watching if nobody comes in with bad meanings.
Legolas sells shoes, especially special elvish made shoes. Arwen is working together with her dad at a beauty shop called: Evenstar. Gollum is their daily visitor who alsways needs to be thrown out because he never want to pay :D But they have mercy on him and let him stay for a while till he gets annoying.
Frodo is the guide on a bustrip through the new national park Middle Earth. He guides elderly people round and Sam drives the bus.

[fernshirehobbit]

i want to learn more about this bus trip. do you think they would send me a brouchure? lol:D

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

Yes, Legolas is a designer and he made the brouchures. If you call the local Greenleaf designing team, you will get a brouchure send home :D

[fernshirehobbit]

last night, i got reobsessed with my printshop delux program making brochures. perhaps the greenleaf company would like to hire me? *hopes*. i so love making graphics art:D

[TheHermit]

Nooooooooooooooooooo your a killing Middle Earth
*leaves for the Undying Lands*

[fernshirehobbit]

we are not killing it! just twisting it. muahhahahahhaha:D

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

last night, i got reobsessed with my printshop delux program making brochures. perhaps the greenleaf company would like to hire me? *hopes*. i so love making graphics art:D
I started with the same program :D

[fernshirehobbit]

it is such a wonderful program. i love it:D

[Mrs Gil-Galad Took]

I liked it :D Four months later I got photoshop :D

[fernshirehobbit]

we might have had photoshop once but it was only a demo.