Extract from my book

[MrBeaver]

A friend and I are writing a fantasy novel, here's an excerpt, tell me what you think! (This bit is all me btw.)

He took me aside. He spoke in a language I could not understand. But his words echoed in my mind, and I knew he was tormenting me. I felt a sharp pain as he stuck me across the face.

And I suddenly found myself in the body of a great lion. I roared and snapped. Calmly, he spoke his foreign words again. But this time it was kind, and I understood clearly.

“Congratulations. You’ve passed my test. Welcome to our world.”

[Rhyanidd]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....whats it supposed to be about??? I cant judge it from just that...I need like a whold chapter....but I like it....sounds.....intresting....sorry but I am very picky about what storys I think are good....so if you could give me more...?

[MrBeaver]

A lot of its not that good... I'll have to do some editing. That was just part of the prologue, a very smallened version of the backstory of it. Basically it's about two kids who turn out to be magicians. They both have special powers; one can change form, the other controls the elements. (Hence the name, Stealth and Sky.) At exactly midnight on a certain day, for only a moment, all nine planets will be perfectly aligned and one magician with the most power has the ability to summon a great djinni who will from then on be in their service. But something goes haywire, and the two magicians meet in an "in-between place." They have many adventures together and discover about more worlds and powers than they could imagine. It's a trilogy, we're writing the second book first, to establish it, and Book one (the backstory,) later.

[MrBeaver]

STEALTH AND SKY
Book Two: Djinni

This story is about two children, probably much like yourself, who find out they are magicians. They both have special powers; one can change form, the other controls the elements. (Hence the name, Stealth and Sky.) Exactly thirteen years after the birth of both children, for only a moment, all nine planets will be perfectly aligned and one magician with the most power has the ability to summon a great djinni who will from then on be in their service. But something goes haywire, and the two magicians meet in an "in-between place." They have many adventures together and discover about more worlds and powers than they could imagine, but soon get entangled in a war that will take the strength of every last magician on earth -- and they’re on opposing sides!


Chapter One
December 15

Riley
Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada

My name is Riley. And I’m a magician.

Not one of your lowly children’s entertainers of course. I…

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. You might want to get comfortable, because this is going to be a long story.

Ever since I was a child, I had an interest in magic. Growing up, my favourite tales had been the Chronicles of Narnia. The idea of other, wonderful worlds captured my interest and I became so wrapped up in magic the reality around me began to disappear. Every day I would go to the library, and get lost in another world.

I went to school, too. It was exciting for a few years, then became a bit of a chore. Everyone there seemed to give me a hard time about something or other. I rarely spoke to anyone, I was too busy wrapped up somewhere else, a place I longed to break free to.

But the taunts continued, coupled with my parents’ divorce and my alcoholic and abusive father. By sixth grade I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran away.

I didn’t know where to go. I only had a few dollars of pocket change – barely enough for a bus ride. I had no friends to go to.

That night, in a back alley, I met a man. I could not see his face, for he wore a veil. He was dressed all in black. I did not know whether to trust him.

But what else was I to do?

He took me aside. He spoke in a language I could not understand. But his words echoed in my mind, and I knew he was tormenting me. I felt a sharp pain as he stuck me across the face.

And I suddenly found myself in the body of a great lion. I roared and snapped. Calmly, he spoke his foreign words again. But this time it was kind, and I understood clearly.

“Congratulations. You’ve passed my test. Welcome to our world.”

Fate took me into its hands that night.

This is a very brief version of my past events; that’s another story entirely. It would do me no good to explain what were eerily similar circumstances on the behalf of my – uh – companion. At this point, where we begin our story, two years later, I am about to meet this companion.

At this point in our story, I am standing in this dingy basement on a cold December night, preparing for the biggest moment of any magician’s life. And half a world away, a girl born the same second as me does the same.

Liz
Bristol, United Kingdom

Liz watched the seconds tick by on her pocketwatch. When the long, thin, golden hand representing the minutes reached thirty-nine, she held her breath.

“Exactly thirteen years old in three, two…”

She spoke the incantation. She felt something tugging at her, some invisible force. Then came the stranger part – she was shivering wet, yet she felt a burning sensation also, as if flames were licking every inch of her. She felt as if there was some tornado-force wind picking her up and flinging her around, yet she saw that everything around her was still. Her mentor sat calmly in the corner. Surely he could see the discomfort, the pain, she was in?

Her powers had inadvertently started acting up before, but nothing like this!

This wasn’t supposed to happen! She looked at the markings around her. Everything seemed in order…

Then the pull became worse than ever, and soon she let out a yelp enough to wake the dead, (and some argued that it did – with a magician of her power, anything is possible,) and she could not continue surveying the room around her, for she had to shut her eyes against the wind, fire, and water.

A moment later she felt nothing.

There's your chapter folks.

[Rhyanidd]

*jumps up and down* whoowhoo!!!Ok so you are getting this published? and the first book that is coming out, which is acctually the 2nd chronilogically, is called stealth and sky? ok.....how far are you in this book? I WANT TO READ IT!