Arei
12-31-2005, 01:15 AM
I'm a young christian who was baptised last year and with all of my heart I am willing and I want to do everything that God wants me to do and I want to be the very best I can be... sadly I'm not and its not because I can't, its because I'm having alot of trouble forcing myself to do it =P
I continue to do things I tell myself I musn't do and will not do (mainly cussing... bad habit i let myself get into I need/want to/must break) and I continue to choose things that are wrong when I know right and I want to do the right thing, I just do whatever is easy sometimes. I've been hurt so many times in my life I'm deathly afraid of being hurt and yelled at, its so bad the smallest things upset me/make me cry, which I'm trying to fix that as well. Because of this I am not standing up for/proclaiming the word of God as I should be, because I am afraid of the retaliation of people because when it comes out of my mouth it seems, its always the wrong thing. I am not ashamed of my beliefs, but yet I'm afraid people will think that i'm some high and mighty snob, some people do think that about christians.
I do not use the term "christian" as some people do in this world to be popular, to gain status, or to make people think I am a good person (this is what alot of teenagers and young adults do today, alot of them are in my community). I say "I am a christian" because I am an individual dedicated to Christ and his teachings, and I was baptised and confessed my sins and therefore if I live the life I am suppose to in Christ, I will be able to enter the kingdom of Heaven.
My opinions are not easily changed, and I am not easily influenced. Well I've never been influenced by the media, but I used to be quite naiive and let my friends get the best of me and let them bring me down to a level a christian (or back then a person working toward being a christan) should be. Now i'm old enough and mature enough not to let the bad habits of the world enter my life and change who I am or my views about Christ. I know what is right and I know what is wrong and nothing will change that.
What I am saying here is I am really struggling with being a good and faithful christian. My main problem are my habits, I do/say some things that are very unbecoming of a christian that I am very ashamed of, yet I continue to do them because they are unconcious habits burned into my head. I would appreciate if fellow christians would help and encourage me at this time and pray for me as I try to overcome my faults and conquer my struggles to be a better christian. It seems this community have some godly people, which I am very thankful for (they are hard to find on the net). Thank you all who read this and will pray for me as I try to set things right in my life. Also I'm having alot of personal ordeals that are tearing me up, and also I would love if people kept me in their thoughts as I try to overcome them too. Its very comforting to know that other christians are thinking about me and are praying for me to become a better christian myself. Again thanks to all who read this and pray for me =3 Its very much appreciated.
I continue to do things I tell myself I musn't do and will not do (mainly cussing... bad habit i let myself get into I need/want to/must break) and I continue to choose things that are wrong when I know right and I want to do the right thing, I just do whatever is easy sometimes. I've been hurt so many times in my life I'm deathly afraid of being hurt and yelled at, its so bad the smallest things upset me/make me cry, which I'm trying to fix that as well. Because of this I am not standing up for/proclaiming the word of God as I should be, because I am afraid of the retaliation of people because when it comes out of my mouth it seems, its always the wrong thing. I am not ashamed of my beliefs, but yet I'm afraid people will think that i'm some high and mighty snob, some people do think that about christians.
I do not use the term "christian" as some people do in this world to be popular, to gain status, or to make people think I am a good person (this is what alot of teenagers and young adults do today, alot of them are in my community). I say "I am a christian" because I am an individual dedicated to Christ and his teachings, and I was baptised and confessed my sins and therefore if I live the life I am suppose to in Christ, I will be able to enter the kingdom of Heaven.
My opinions are not easily changed, and I am not easily influenced. Well I've never been influenced by the media, but I used to be quite naiive and let my friends get the best of me and let them bring me down to a level a christian (or back then a person working toward being a christan) should be. Now i'm old enough and mature enough not to let the bad habits of the world enter my life and change who I am or my views about Christ. I know what is right and I know what is wrong and nothing will change that.
What I am saying here is I am really struggling with being a good and faithful christian. My main problem are my habits, I do/say some things that are very unbecoming of a christian that I am very ashamed of, yet I continue to do them because they are unconcious habits burned into my head. I would appreciate if fellow christians would help and encourage me at this time and pray for me as I try to overcome my faults and conquer my struggles to be a better christian. It seems this community have some godly people, which I am very thankful for (they are hard to find on the net). Thank you all who read this and will pray for me as I try to set things right in my life. Also I'm having alot of personal ordeals that are tearing me up, and also I would love if people kept me in their thoughts as I try to overcome them too. Its very comforting to know that other christians are thinking about me and are praying for me to become a better christian myself. Again thanks to all who read this and pray for me =3 Its very much appreciated.