C.S. Lewis marriage/relationships

[TimmyofOz]

How do you think Lewis felts about marriage. I know he loved his wife, but I feel that was a surprise for him. In his books almost all of his leading males never marry. Prof. Kirke nevers marrys Polly, Bree never marries Hwin, Eustace never marries Jill, none of the Pevensie marry (Susan probably does), Prince Tirian gets to die also before marriage. Yes, the Beavers are married, and Cor marries Aravis but these are strange (they quarrel so much they get married). Prince Caspian is a widower. There is a married couple in "That Hideous Strength", but they are separated for the whole book.

Lewis seems to think men and women can be close friends in a plutonic relationship. How do you think one avoids hormones and emotions. Most Christian counselors seem to advise against it, unless it is couple to couple. Was lewis just a hopeless bachelor with a lot of women friends that just got lucky that one time?

[PrinceOfTheWest]

I don't think that Lewis had any problems with marriage and women. His writings on the topic (for instance, on Mark & Jane's relationship in Hideous Strength) were quite insightful. I think God just had other plans for him. Also, in his personal life, he had this odd situation where he was caring for Mrs. Moore, his friend's widowed mother, which made any kind of long-term relationship with another woman difficult until she died.

[Ephinie]

I think that in the case of the Chronicles of Narnia specifically, we don't see a lot of marriage because the books are geared toward children. So the "target audience" so to speak is at an age that marriage is not something they think about a whole lot except in regard to it being something that older people did (like the beavers and King Frank and Queen Helen-aka Cabby and his wife). Perhaps, then, he intentionally did not have the majority of characters in the Narnia series marry because at the age of the intenteded readers, it WOULD be more proper and appropriate to have non-romantic friendships with the opposite sex. Remember, he wasn't writing in our modern day when we have insane little fourth and fifth graders running around pretending to be "dating" all the time.

I was kind of sad that Polly and Digory didn't marry, but it does make sense logically. They were friends as children. How many people marry their childhood chums? It does happen, but not often. Digory may have been a bachelor, but I don't remember if Polly's eventual marital status is ever stated.

The Pevensies did not marry during their reign in Narnia because that probably would have made all sorts of complications for them. Aslan knew he was going to return them to our world. What if they had married and had children? What would that do to them psychologically to be suddenly thrust back into our world in a child's body AND knowing that they left behind their beloved spouse and children? That might almost be worse than losing a loved one to death - never knowing what happend to them, never having any closure. Now, of course THEY did not know what would eventually happen... but Aslan did. So he wisely did not send them wives or husbands. Later on, during the Last Battle, they were only just getting to the age where they would think about marriage in our world. They just didn't get a chance.

Jill and Eustace never did get to the age where romance would have been appropriate for them.

Cor and Aravis, however, did make perfect sense. They both lived to adulthood in the same world with no worries of being transported from one place to another and thus having to leave children or spouse behind. But again, the story was about them as children - and written for children, so the idea of their marriage was presented in a way that children during Lewis's time would have been able to relate to it while still being able to identify with the characters.

Thus, in the Chronicles, marriage was not often seen because they were written for children. In that perspective, they were meant to relate to children where they were... and marriage is usually not on a normal child's mind.

[PrinceOfTheWest]

And don't forget that Caspian only became a widower after decades of happy marriage.

[Ephinie]

Yeah, totally forgot to mention that! 'Tis true. He married the daughter of a star and lived for many years happily before tragedy struck his family. Then... enter Eustace and Jill to make things right - as much as possible.

[inkspot]

I always got the impression that Lewis preferred his close male companioship over the risk of marriage ... he never says this in so many words, but often in various passages I get the idea he thinks a man gives up a lot to marry, and that a wife can bring nothing to the group of a man's male chums. I can't remember in which work I read this, but I am sure he speaks of how having a man bring his wife along to a meeting or activity of male friends changes completely the tenor of the thing -- and it becomes not what the men expected or wanted.

I think he was comfortable and in his element at the pub with his guy friends and never until he met Joy did it seem worthwhile to change that status.

Just my take on it.

[TimmyofOz]

Well, you can say Lewis isn't the type to end his book with "they then got married and lived happily ever after.":D

[Elentari]

Well, you can say Lewis isn't the type to end his book with "they then got married and lived happily ever after."

And I think his audience has appreciated the breath of fresh air that is after all the Disney fairytales (though I love them, it's nice to have a story where getting the girl together with the right guy is not the focus). :D

Inkspot--I remember a scene in the movie Shadowlands that showed what you mention...He brought Joy to some event and it was just uncomfortable, for her and for the guys.

Finally, I agree with Inkspot that Lewis saw marriage as a risk, AND I agree with the rest of you who have made excellent points that Lewis was in fact pro-marriage, just not necessarily for him. Professor Kirke (Digory) was based loosely on Lewis himself and as all(?) the books had been written before he met Joy, he would have been "a confirmed old bachelor" at the time of writing.

As for Polly's marital status, I always viewed her as a single older lady in Last Battle, though I suppose she could have been a widow. No mention is made of a husband, living or dead, and I always pictured her and Digory as such chums that, though they never married each other, they never felt they needed to marry anyone else either. :D

[GabrNash]

Does anyone know of/remember a quote by C S Lewis in one of his books about reading/books? Something along the lines of 'there's nothing better than sitting down with a good book'
Does that ring a bell with anyone?? Help!

[PrinceOfTheWest]

Wow, that could be any one of a number of things. We picked up a bookmark in a tea store with a quote attributed to Lewis: "You can never find a book long enough or a cup of tea large enough to suit me." It doesn't say where he made that statement, though.