Interfaith dating and marriage: Your Thoughts

[LifeMaiden]

Okay, before I dash off to work again ( why am I doing this? Why? I have to train two more people before I CAN go and do my workout LOL) ...here's a question for you guys.

How do you feel about interfaith dating and marriage? Would you ever consider dating or marrying a person who is not of your faith, or shared different religious beliefs and views? How would you feel if you have a child or children who were, say, Christian, and wanted to marry someone Muslim or Jewish ( or any other faith)?

What are your thoughts, and what problems can this create for the couple and for their respective families?

[oxford girl]

My mom is a Catholic and my dad is a protistan I dont think it really maters as long as your both Christians

[SpiritedWolf]

Well I am dating someone of a different faith... so far it has created no problems. I think that it only becomes a problem if you let it be a problem. If a couple is married and has childeren and the couple is of different faiths, as long as they love each other, and respect the others views, it should work out fine!

[Aravis Kenobi]

Well, personally, I'd marry someone who I know is a born-again Christian. If they weren't Baptist, but shared the same saving faith as I do, then I'd have no problem with dating or marrying them. Not sure my parents would agree though.

It says in the Bible, "do not be yoked unequally with unbelievers." which I take it to mean, "Don't marry someone who doesn't have a relationship with Christ as you." It's against God's law, from what I've gotten.

Now, if you're dating someone of a different religion (Muslim, Buddhist, whatever) you're treading in dangerous water because you are yoking yourself unequally with someone who isn't a Chrisitan. (By the way, "Yoking" simply means joining with)

If you marry an unbeliever in the hopes of converting them, you're still going against God's law.

My question is this: if you marry someone who appears to be a Christian, has been raised in church, etc.. yet you find out after you get married that they're not truly saved, what should you do? Divorce them? No.

[SlpNarniaQueen]

I think people should marry whoever they want, but I think if you're a christian, marry another christian for it will make you strong in your faith. I babysat this family, and we got to talking about releigon (how I got on the subject of releigon with two fifth grade boys I have no idea!) One kid was an aitheist and the other didn't really know if he was a Chistian or Jewish because his dad was Jewish and his mom was Christian. He said he believed the Christain way more than the Jewish way. Anyway, I think it would be better if you dated and married someone of your faith.

[LifeMaiden]

My family is a great example of many faiths intermarried. Dad= Baptist. Mom=Buddhist. Me=Catholic.

Other relatives have married Jewish or atheists. I might have a really hard time with someone who is a professed atheist, though, because initially, I would like to go to Church and at least SHARE some faith, rather than have to leave a significant other out of it.

[Son of Adam]

As a pastor, I can tell you that a Christian who desires to marry someone whose belief system is not that of Christianity, then that marriage is going to have some real serious problems. The one exception to that is if neither are very strong in their respective religious beliefs.

I have seen too many marriages come together because the Christian believed that they could lead their new spouse to the Lord and then failed. The one who does not believe in Christ will generally come out on top. The believing spouse will stay home from church in order to pleae the other and then a detioration of their faith begins to take place.

My wife went to high school with another girl who was a born-again Christian. This girl had a boyfriend and they had been going together since Junior High. They continued dating long after high school and the guy kept proposing to the girl. He was unsaved. I had to admire this young woman who stuck to her faith and refused to marry the man unless he became a Christian. Finally after going together for nearly 10 years, she finally broke up with him over it. Within a few months God gave her a wonderful Christian man who was a pilot and they married a year later and have had a truly remarkable marriage with a couple of children to boot.

Now some would have said, she should have married the first guy. He was good to her that's true, but why settle for something good when, if God provides it, He provides the best. Don't settle for anything less than what God desires for you.

[LifeMaiden]

Well, the other issue would be how to raise your children and what faith to bring them up in. In my family, the various religions and intermarriages of such were done by people who didn't seem to practice their religions much. My Uncle Bob was Jewish, but he was Reformed and rarely if ever attended synagogue except on the holidays. His aunt, my mother's sister, was Buddhist. She and my uncle actually raised their daughter and son as Jewish.

I worked for a Jewish couple when I cleaned houses in college, and their daughter married a Catholic guy. However, they requested that the kids be raised as Jewish if they were to approve of their daughter's marriage to the guy. Otherwise she couldn't marry him with their blessings. I understand where they were coming from but...That just seemed a little bit like bargaining with religion to me.

[Miss.SunFlower]

my dad is methodist and my mom is catholic. I don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as the two religons get along.

[PrinceOfTheWest]

The question of which religion is practiced is important, but equally important (and intertwined with the question) is the matter of the cultures from which the partners come. Romantic mythology notwithstanding (e.g. Lt. Cable and Liat in the musical South Pacific), matches across cultures are extremely difficult. It's hard enough for a party to sacrifice selfish desires and lay down his life for his partner even when they're working from the same set of cultural assumptions; to have to juggle cross-cultural considerations makes the hurdle almost too high to surmount.

[inkspot]

The problem of a believer in Christ marrying a non-believer in Christ is that Christ should be (must be) the center of the believer's life, and of course, their spouse also has to be the center of their llife. If the spouse is a believer, this is no problem, as Christ at their center unites them. If the spouse doesn't believe in Christ, then anything he wants at the center of his life is going to conflict with Jesus at the center of his spouse's life.

The Apostle Paul said not to marry a non-believer, but if you already are married to one, and he wants to stay married, then stay with him because your godly example might lead him to Christ. It is interesting to note, however, Paul seemed to consider it a real possibility that the non-believing spouse would not want to stay married to a believer.

That seems strange to us: what difference would it make to the non-believer? But I think it's an indication that in the First Century, coming to Christ made a radical difference in your life, such a difference that your own spouse might not even know you anymore! I wonder if it still makes such a difference in our lives, or if it is just another label of us: wife, mother, writer, Christian, volunteer, etc.

[Lila]

Well, umm, in my opinion, I wouldn't be comfortable marrying a non-Christian.

[Aravis Kenobi]

The problem of a believer in Christ marrying a non-believer in Christ is that Christ should be (must be) the center of the believer's life, and of course, their spouse also has to be the center of their llife. If the spouse is a believer, this is no problem, as Christ at their center unites them. If the spouse doesn't believe in Christ, then anything he wants at the center of his life is going to conflict with Jesus at the center of his spouse's life.

The Apostle Paul said not to marry a non-believer, but if you already are married to one, and he wants to stay married, then stay with him because your godly example might lead him to Christ. It is interesting to note, however, Paul seemed to consider it a real possibility that the non-believing spouse would not want to stay married to a believer.

That seems strange to us: what difference would it make to the non-believer? But I think it's an indication that in the First Century, coming to Christ made a radical difference in your life, such a difference that your own spouse might not even know you anymore! I wonder if it still makes such a difference in our lives, or if it is just another label of us: wife, mother, writer, Christian, volunteer, etc.

I agree completely!!! If you divorced him or her, you would be showing that you didn't care. Here's an example: there's a couple in our church who are extremely nice. She is saved, he wasn't. They had been married for several years (I have no idea) yet he didn't become a Christian until a few months ago. Now, I don't know if she married him knowing that or not, but I wouldn't ask her. He's at least 55, yet seeing him come to the Lord makes it real: anyone at any time can come to Christ because He always is ready for us to come to him.

[Don Patch]

This would be a bit of a mess, now wouldn't it? For me it's christian or no one. I don't I think I could handly that kind of pressure.

[The First Joke]

Okay, before I dash off to work again ( why am I doing this? Why? I have to train two more people before I CAN go and do my workout LOL) ...here's a question for you guys.

How do you feel about interfaith dating and marriage? Would you ever consider dating or marrying a person who is not of your faith, or shared different religious beliefs and views? How would you feel if you have a child or children who were, say, Christian, and wanted to marry someone Muslim or Jewish ( or any other faith)?

What are your thoughts, and what problems can this create for the couple and for their respective families?


I would consider myself a religious person, so I could see how hard it is to marry someone who doesn't believe the same things you do. And if you want a family, it could be even harder. I'm not saying that it couldn't be done, but I think that it would be hard. Dating? Well, I'm not so sure.

[Son of Adam]

I hate the word religion. Religion implies a belief in something regardless of whether one follows their religion or not. One can be a religious Christian, or Jew, or Muslim, or Buddhist, or Hindu, or even a religious cult member.

What needs to be looked at is whether two people from two different denominations are both born-again believers. Being religious or going to church doesn't make one a Christian any more than walking into your garage makes you an automobile.

I advise couples who want to get married and one is not a Christian and the other is one, not to get married. I have an easier time marrying two non-believers than two that will be unequally yoked together.

However if the couple is already married then there is Scripture that says what to do about that:

1Co 7:12 To the others I say (I, myself, not the Lord): if a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she agrees to go on living with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And if a Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever and he agrees to go on living with her, she must not divorce him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God.
1Co 7:15 However, if the one who is not a believer wishes to leave the Christian partner, let it be so. In such cases the Christian partner, whether husband or wife, is free to act. God has called you to live in peace.

Here it is clear that if a believing husband or wife has an unbelieving spouse and that unbeliever wishes to remain with the believer, then the believer must stay married to that spouse. However, if the unbeliever departs or leaves because of the one spouse is a believer, then the believer is free to divorce and even remarry. Some people find that controversial but yet that is what Paul indicates here.