Readers Note: This story takes place after The Last Battle and may contain spoilers.
Susan sat down, looking around the house. They were all gone. Mum, Dad, Lucy, Peter and Edmond. Not to mention Eustace, Jill, Digory and Polly! Tears ran down her cheeks, for they were going after something that didn't exist. Narnia, the game they used to play, pretending they were kings and queens. It was all a game Susan told herself, they were trying to get into Narnia, but it didn't exist. Sadly, she thought of the last words Lucy said to her. Lucy had screamed, "No matter how hard you try you will NEVER be able to forget what happened in the wardrobe. You remember, I know you do, but you chose to ignore it, and grow up! You will never forget!" Deep down Susan knew Narnia was real, but as Lucy said as Susan grew up, she chose to ignore the facts. Now they were all gone.
Since no will had been written for the professor's house, Susan received it. Ms. Macready had left her job long ago, so no one else could fight for the custody. For a long time Susan did not go to the house and continued living in her old home in London. She finished school, and met a nice boy named Jack Smith, aged about 24. They dated for a while, and he learned of the death of her whole family. Now Jack had the face of a king. Susan did not know what, but like Peter, he had been the High King of another country Aslan ruled, named Metzera. In Metzera his younger sister and brother (only three in his family) had saved it. For the whole story you must read Metzera, in which I will post later. He did not tell Susan this, for he was sure she would not believe such a story. Susan noticed he acted extremely like Peter after they came out of Narnia. She did not know why, but she felt as if he were Peter. Jack noticed how Susan seemed a slight bit nervous, and he asked her "Su, are you okay?" (At this time they had been dating for a year in a half, so he nicknamed her Su.) Susan started to cry. She said "Jack, you remind me of my brother Peter, you even call me Su like he used too." she gasped and continued "except he, Edmond and Lucy kept believing in Narnia, a pretend land we made up. He thought we were kings and queens, and we defeated an evil white witch. I don't believe a bit of it, you can't find other world's trough a wardrobe, it's not possible. But they believed till their death." Now she was sobbing. Jack said in a calm, cool voice "I believe you can."
Susan was startled, "You mean you believe it's possible to get to other worlds through a wardrobe?" She was astonished, he believed too! "Yes I believe you can find other worlds through ordinary things in our world." He too had been at the Experiment House when Eustace and Jill came with Caspian and Aslan. No one knew, but he had seen the whole thing, the children running into the building, appearing again before a minute was up with a lion, a king in mail, and the two children in the finest clothes. He then had believed there was more than the world he had been too.
*****
After two years of dating Jack proposed to Susan. Since her father had died, there was no one to ask, so she said yes immediately. Jack found out Susan owned the wonderful estate in the country. They were married there. Jack is brown hair blew in the wind (he had the same hairstyle as peter) and his brown eyes were dancing. He stood up straight as Susan, her brown hair hidden by her veil; blue eyes dancing too, pranced up the isle with her dress flowing behind. They were married. Jack, who was not a city person wanted to move out into the Professor's house, and Susan did not argue, she could live in that house.
Many years later when Susan turned 30, Jack was 33 they had about four children, Lorelei, Charlie, Elizabeth, and Peter II. At the time Lorelei was seven years old, while Charlie was one year younger, making Elizabeth five and Peter four. One day, as the Pevensie's had, Peter wanted to play hide-and-go-seek. Susan was it, while her children hid. Jack was in the library, when Charlie bounded in hiding behind Jack's chair. "What are you doing Char?" Jack asked.
"Running from mummy, we're playing hide-and-go-seek." Charlie giggled, and ducked down.
Susan went to search for her kids, and found herself going down a familiar passage. Not knowing why, she opened a door and there was an old shabby wardrobe. She opened the door, hoping to find something, but not knowing what. When she opened it she saw in the middle was a stone knife. She wondered what it was there for, but deep down she knew, it was the knife in which the White Witch had killed Aslan with. The blood from Aslan was still fresh on the knife, though the incident happened years ago. She did not know what to do, she stood there staring at the knife, not daring to touch it but feeling the Narnia wind on her face. There was no Narnia left, the world ceased to exist now. But the wardrobe still held enough magic to produce slight feelings from the country it was before. Then with a start Susan jumped away from the wardrobe, forgetting to close the doors and dashed down the hallway. She was running to an invisible evil, herself. When the wind blew on her face she felt like Queen Susan the Gentle. The feeling sent off a wonderful feeling within her, but then she remembered Narnia, is which she did not want to remember. She was running from belief. She was running toward the normal life, the practical one.
She ran into the library, bumping into Jack and Charlie. "Hello Su," Jack greeted her with a friendly smile. He saw the horror on her face. Before he could say anything Charlie jumped out from behind the chair and started running toward base, which was the front door. Susan did not start after him. Her face was pale and scared, but there was a sparkle in her eyes. "Are you okay?" Jack asked considerately.
"No, it's the wardrobe. There was a stone knife with fresh blood on it, with some golden hair on it." Susan stuttered.
She led him to the wardrobe, but the knife was not there, instead there was a bunch of a lion's mane lying in a puddle of Aslan's blood. Again she felt the soft spring breeze in Narnia, and heard murmuring in Cair Paravel. Jack felt the breeze, but he still believed in magic. He saw her face looked more and more like a queen and less and less like a normal English lady. Then suddenly Susan turned and started down the corridor at full speed. Jack caught her. "Why are you running?" he questioned her.
"Away from that.that wardrobe," Her eyes were full of terror as they were of joy a minute ago. Jack shook his head and said in a whisper "Su, you remember as you never forgot. It is real, stop running, it will only catch up." Then he released her arm. She stared at him. "It is not true and you know it!" She shouted, "It is impossible, it is just a game, it's NOT REAL!" She did not shout this at Jack, but she shouted it at herself, because every time she opened the wardrobe, she believed more and more.
*****
One rainy afternoon, Lorelei and Liz (Elizabeth's nickname) were wandering around the house. They were bored of hide-and-seek, they did not want to read, or play with any of their dolls of board games. They wandered past the library and up the stairs toward the wardrobe. They looked in the first few doors they tried led to empty, guest bedrooms. Then they came upon the fourth door. They opened it and found a long room full of pictures with a suit of armor in the right corner. After that the found a room that was a deep green, deeper green than the grass after a spring rain. In the corner of that room was a harp, which looked as if it had never been touched, but then it looked as if it had been worn out from so much use at the same time. Then they came to a smaller hallway with three stairs down and five stairs up. Then came more rooms filled with books, some bigger than the bible at the church their mother had taken them too. (They were all Christians.) Then they came to THE room. They saw an old wardrobe, which looked like the harp, used but brand new. "Let's peek in the wardrobe," Liz suggested, she did want to see what was in there. "Okay, but don't shut the door," Lorelei said. For she knew it was foolish to shut ones self in a wardrobe.
They opened the doors; a refreshing, but cold wind blew their hair. As they stepped in it felt like spring, a bit chilly but refreshing from being in that stuffy room. "This is a slightly peculiar wardrobe." Lorelei commented.
"Yes, but look at the fur coats!" Liz exclaimed. They ignored how strange the wardrobe was, and tried on some coats.
Meanwhile, it was lunch time. Susan called for Elizabeth and Lorelei, but they did not hear her. Charlie and Peter had already finished their lunch. Susan went to look for the girls and Jack came with her for this house was so large, they could be anywhere. They checked the library, the play room, the bedrooms, and the whole south side of the house. Jack knew where they were, but he did not want Su to get angry for him suggesting that place. Then they passed the picture room, the green room, and the other libraries. Then Jack heard giggling from the wardrobe room. Susan opened the door and found Liz and Lorelei playing in there. They were dressed in fur coats and having a grand time in the beautiful wardrobe. "What are you doing?" Susan questioned them.
"We were playing in the wardrobe." Elizabeth started.
"But we didn't shut ourselves in; we knew that would be foolish." Lorelei cut in.
"Come on, it's lunch time," Jack said to the girl. Elizabeth and Lorelei hung their fur coats back up, but they didn't close the wardrobe, because Susan was standing in front of it. The gentle wind blew. She heard what the others did not. She heard a magnificent roar, she heard crying, she heard the most unwanted noise of hags, minotaurs, spectors, werewolves, wolves, evil apes and other beasts. Then she heard the clash of swords and the twang of arrows. She jumped up and shut the doors of the wardrobe. Again she believed more and more.
"Daddy, do you believe in magic?" Liz questioned.
"Why do you ask?" Jack answered.
"Because, the wardrobe, I think is magic. There was one window, but it was shut, yet Lorelei and I felt a wind as if there were three windows open." Liz stated.
"Well, I do believe in magic, but magic is a strong term. I believe you can get glimpses or feelings from other worlds through ordinary things, like the wardrobe, but I also believe that you can get into other world from ordinary things in our world too. I believe in miracles like Jesus rising from the dead. (Do not take that comment offensively if you are not Christian, it is only what Jack believes, it is not meant to preach or upset anyone who does not think Jesus is real.) I believe in evil like temptation." Jack considered. Then he told the story of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to Liz, for Peter had told Jack the story because Peter could tell Jack had also experienced other worlds.
"How come mummy never told us?" Elizabeth questioned.
"Your mummy doesn't believe, she wanted to grow up, and she forgot about Narnia." Jack answered in a sad voice.
*****
Liz had told Lorelei, Peter, and Charlie about the wardrobe, but they were much too busy with school. Peter did not yet go to school, so he often played in the wardrobe, pretending to fight off evil, or reign over talking animals, his dog and cat. Every day he played in the wardrobe. One day he was in one of the fur coats, King Peter's, and he was crossing a pretend river. He was hopping across imaginary rocks when a gust of strong wind blew out of the wardrobe knocking him down. The air from the wardrobe turned cold, as if in winter and he saw through the gap in the coats Narnia. Now Narnia is dead, but the wardrobe contained a certain magic that things from old could be brought into the new. Peter went in the wardrobe; he passed behind the coats but bumped into the back of the wardrobe. It was like glass. Peter could see Narnia, but not enter, for it no longer existed. There was a lamppost in the middle of a snowy wood, and a young girl, about eight, heading toward it. Then a faun bumped into her, they introduced themselves, though he could not hear them, and then headed off into the wood. The picture vanished and there Peter stood looking at the back of the wardrobe.
*****
It was July 1958; Susan was now thirty-one and everyone else was a year older too, except Lorelei, her birthday was in August. Elizabeth and Peter headed up to the wardrobe because the older ones were outside with their friends. Neither of them wanted to play outside, it was just too hot. So they went to the wardrobe. Peter had told Elizabeth about the scene in the wardrobe. She wanted to see one too, so they decided to head on up. They opened the wardrobe, but on the bottom of the wardrobe was a quiver of arrows accompanied by a bow with an ivory horn. "Amazing, those are mummy's gifts given to her by Father Christmas in Narnia!" Elizabeth exclaimed. Peter bent down to pick it up, but Liz stopped him. "We don't know what will happen if we touch those, let's go get dad." They ran down the hallway to the library, where they found Jack, but with Jack was Susan. Peter bounded up to Jack "Dad, we found mummy's gifts in the wardrobe; it is magic it really is, come see!" Jack followed Elizabeth and Peter to the spare room. Susan did not want to follow, but like a magnet, she felt an invisible force pulling her to the wardrobe.
There were the bow and arrows with the horn. Not knowing why, Susan bent down and touched the horn, and the bow and arrows. Belief flooded back to her. She remembered the battle and the wolf, Maugrim. She slowly stood up and walked out of the room in a sad way. Jack picked the gifts up and set them in the corner of the wardrobe, because he knew that when a human had touched something from another world in their world, that thing could never go back to its world, like the stone knife had.
*****
Susan thought about Peter's first battle and how he saved her and Lucy from the wolf. She thought of Aslan, and his sacrifice for Edmond. She thought of Cair Paravel and how they reigned for many years. She thought of this but then she shouted at no one but herself "Stop, stop. It's all nonsense, it's not real, Narnia is fake!" Then she started running, she ran outside to the train station they arrived on, then she started running down the tracks. Jack got in their car and drove to get her; he jumped out of the car and caught her before she could run any farther. Then he whispered to her "Don't run away from the truth, stop running, it will just catch up." Susan stopped; she looked in his gentle eyes. She dropped to the ground and started crying. "They're gone, all gone. They left me behind, chasing something they're not. Chasing nothing!"
"No, they were chasing Narnia, you are running away. You were left because you were running." This did not come from Jack, but from a much deeper, gentler voice. There on the abandoned train podium was a gigantic lion. Susan looked into his eyes and saw what she knew, she saw Aslan, the king of kings. His eyes saw the core of her and he said, "You are scared, and you do not want what I want for you, you kept on running, never stopping. Have courage dear heart." Then he was gone. She never forgot that, though she did want to. She turned and started back to her house.
*****
Years went by, it was 1988. Jack and Susan were walking trough there grassy estate. Then from nowhere a shot rings out landing in Jack's neck. He flopped to the ground. Susan was about to run when she noticed Jack was not behind her, she saw him laying face down in the dirt, blood trickling out of his neck. The horror struck her, he was dead. She let out a blood piercing scream, so loud that their closest neighbors, a mile away, heard it. She screamed, her knees buckled under her. She sat on her heels crying into her hands. Jack was not yet all the way dead. She had turned him over, he lifted his arm whispering in a hoarse voice "Have courage dear heart." Them his arm flopped to the ground, he was dead. She shouted "Why must I always be left?" Her hands in her face she cried for Jack, for Peter, Jill, Eustace, Lucy, Edmond, for Mum and Dad. She cried for herself. She cried until one could cry no more. Her tears were cold as ice running down her cheeks. She cried away all her sorrows. Then when she ceased crying she sat there not moving for two days. When the neighbors arrived, they found her by Jack's side; she had only wandered to the river for a sip of water. They convinced her to go home but she refused to leave Jack. She kept on murmuring "Courage dear heart." The funeral happened; he was buried in her garden.
*****
Ten years later, 1998, still every morning she went out to the garden to say good morning to Jack. His death was a painful strike on her. Her children wanted her to move out because she was getting old, but she refused to leave Jack. So the children moved all of the stuff she needed close together on one side of the house, the wardrobe side. She was delirious sometimes, but almost totally forgot about Narnia, except "Courage dear heart" the last words of Jack. She was in need of comfort constantly, but there was no one. She felt so alone.
*****
In 2008, she was eighty according to the Narnia time line, she was delirious. She needed someone, but no one was there. She was a child all alone. Then something sparked her. "Courage dear heart." She went outside, even though it was raining, and walked in the woods, where she played games with Edmond and Peter, where Jack died, where she took her children to play in the brook. Memories flooded past her, but she did not remember Narnia.
She caught a frightful cold, which turned to pneumonia. A doctor came and told her she would not live to see tomorrow. She was struck, she was to die alone. In the dark of night she remembered a memory she had forgotten. She clambered down three stairs and up five. She went to the wardrobe. She found the fur coat she wore on the journey through Narnia and put it on. She found her gifts and put them on too. She blew the horn, a sweet tone aroused, it sounded gentle as a sunrise, but strong as thunder. She sat down in the wardrobe, closing the doors, but leaving a crack open, for she knew it was foolish to shut ones self in a wardrobe. Then an image arrived in the back of the wardrobe. It was the image of a lion, a great lion. "Aslan," she whispered "I believe."
*****
The lion continued, unlike when Peter saw Lucy and Mr. Tumnus, there was no glass. She saw her life, her birth, her childhood, and then Narnia. She saw Aslan's death, the Great War, Cor and Corrin, the white stag. Her life continued, but then it was through, she saw her body in the wardrobe. She stepped through and came in the stable door. She started running; she saw the great golden gates. She called in "I have come!"
There inside the gates stood Aslan. "Welcome back dear heart," he said in his strong, gentle voice. His eyes were gleaming, "Welcome."
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